Enlightened

by A. L. Waddington

  “Well, you’d better make up with him after practice. I’m not about to let some silly argument between you two ruin this movie for me. I have been waiting months for this night,” Jenna ordered. “I’m going straight home after practice, showering, grabbing a bite to eat and taking a long nap.”

  “We’re all meeting at your house around ten o’clock, right?” Caitlyn asked.

  “All right, so I’ll get up at nine forty-five,” Jenna laughed.

  “Do you really think it’s going to be that crowded?” Hilary looked between them.

  “Six theaters are sold out already. It’s going to be stupid,” Caitlyn answered.

  “And cold. I guess we should be thankful that it stopped raining for once,” Jenna added.

  “Wonderful,” Hilary muttered and turned her attention back to Cody.

  I sat there and listened to everyone chat around me, but I didn’t join in on any of the conversation.

  ***

  I pulled out of the school parking lot thinking of nothing else but making up with Jackson. Ethan sat in the passenger seat looking out the side window. He really hadn’t said more than two words to me in days and I was at the point that he was the least of my problems.

  “You really love him, don’t you?” The sound of his voice caused me to glance over at him, but he was still staring out the window.

  “Very much.”

  “Then why the rush?”

  “I don’t feel like I am.”

  “You do realize that everyone thinks you’re pregnant. It’s all over school. People are openly talking about you behind your back. Do you even care about that? I do. It’s embarrassing.” His voice was thick.

  “Nope. I honestly don’t. I’m not an idiot. I know what people are saying. But I’m not pregnant. Besides, it’s no one’s business but mine and Jackson’s anyway.”

  He could tell he was upsetting me and I knew he didn’t care. When Ethan was upset, he generally liked to spread it around so everyone felt a little bit of his misery.

  “Whatever,” he muttered still looking out the window.

  ***

  I ran up to the bathroom as soon as we walked in the door and turned the hot water on high. I stripped down as quickly as possible and jumped under the hot water. I didn’t care if it took an hour for the hot water to run out, I was determined to stay in there until I had used up every last drop of hot water in the tank just so Ethan would have to take a cold shower. I knew it was mean and my actions were purely out of childish spite, but his words stung and I knew one of his biggest pet peeves was having to take a cold shower.

  After all, all’s fair in love and war.

  I toweled off feeling immensely satisfied with myself no matter how childish my actions were. It served him right for being so judgmental, I thought as I climbed into my sweats.

  I quickly blew my hair dry and put on some light makeup before I went over to confront Jackson. I had finally reached my limit with his childish avoidance of me.

  As I stopped in the kitchen to fix myself a sandwich first, I heard the shower turn on. It was quickly followed by a barrage of swearing mixed with my name. I giggled to myself as I sat down on one of the bar stools to enjoy my quick dinner.

  The knot in my stomach had grown to the size of a bowling ball before I managed to cross the street. My palms were sweaty and shaky and I had to remind myself numerous times that my futures in both worlds were not in fact, at stake.

  I waited impatiently after I rang the bell for someone to answer the door. Finally, the door opened slowly and Jackson emerged from behind it.

  “Hello.” His greeting was as hollow as his voice.

  “May I speak with you?” I desperately tried to keep my voice calm and steady.

  “Of course.”

  He opened the door a little wider so I could pass through. He offered no kiss, no hug, none of his normal enthusiasm that he always showed with each encounter. My heart immediately sank to my toes while I followed him silently into the living room.

  He took a seat on the couch and stared back at me. I wasn’t sure if I should join him or take a seat across the room on the loveseat. I swallowed hard and decided that I was going to take my future into my own hands. I was not going to give up my family so easily. So I sat down on the edge of the sofa beside him, but kept a little distance between us.

  We sat in an awkward silence for a few minutes. I kept waiting for Robert or Emily to pop in with their normal cheerfulness, but neither of them made an appearance. I wondered where they were since the house was deadly quiet. He offered no explanation for their absence so I didn’t inquire.

  “Are you going to speak to me?” The silence was worse than the anger.

  “What would you like me to say?” he asked without looking at me.

  “Well, you can start with explaining why you’re so upset with me.”

  “You really have no clue?” He finally looked at me and I could see the anger in his eyes.

  “You didn’t even give me a chance to explain everything. It’s not as if I went searching for proof. I had no idea that stuff was down there.” I hated the way he kept looking at me.

  Jackson sat silently for several minutes fidgeting with his hands. I considered getting up and leaving when he took a deep breath and sighed heavily.

  “To be honest, I truly thought you were a better person than I. Not to say anything about the fact that I have been dying for the last eight months for our wedding day and the fact that you have been keeping your wedding gown some big secret from everyone….and well…” His voice trailed off and I immediately felt ashamed. That small detail had completely escaped me.

  “You have no one to blame for that, but yourself,” I pointed out. “I did not hand you the album. In fact, if memory serves me correctly, you yanked it out from beneath my comforter without my permission because of your own selfish agenda.”

  “Yes, I did and I do apologize for that. However, in my defense, you would not tell me what was upsetting you so much and forced me into finding out for myself.”

  “You can’t be serious.” I shifted towards him in full confrontation mode. “You’re unbelievable. Just because I don’t want to share every single detail of my life with you, you have to take it upon yourself to investigate. Are you always so selfish and childish?” I demanded.

  “Do you know the background of the gown you are wearing in that picture?” he said hotly.

  “No, I don’t. How could I?” I could feel the blood rushing to my face and my hands began to tremble with fury.

  “Well, just so you know. It is my mother’s wedding gown you are wearing. Not even my sister got married in her dress.”

  “That’s only because she couldn’t fit into it!” I shot back, having no idea how I knew that information but positive it was true.

  Jackson stared at me with his face covered in astonishment. His mouth fell open, looking at me as if I had just slapped him. “How do you know that?” he said weakly.

  “I don’t know. I just do,” I shrugged, still trying to control the trembling in my hands.

  “My mother just told me that yesterday when I told my parents about the pictures. You could not have known that. She said she has never spoken with you about your wedding gown there.” His expression held, but his eyes widened further. “What else are you not telling me?”

  “Nothing.” I couldn’t figure out what he was getting at.

  “You know about our kids, don’t you?”

  “Yes. And I know you do too.” My eyes narrowed in on him.

  Jackson fell back against the couch and let out a loud laugh, shaking his head in disbelief. I sat there dumbfounded like an idiot staring at him.

  “When I said I thought you were a better person than I, well….” He covered his face with both his hands for a moment almost as if he was ashamed of his own actions. “How far did you scroll down on the ancestry website once you pulled up your uncle’s name?”

  “I didn’t.”


  “Don’t you get it?”

  I stared at him and shook my head stupidly.

  “Last spring when your uncle told us about you inheriting EVE….well, I got curious and did some digging myself on the same website. So yes, I know about our children. I even know their names!”

  He turned his body towards mine. “I am sorry, but it is not like it was something I could just tell you. I honestly figured you would discover the information for yourself. And well…you never did.”

  Now I was mad. All that guilt, their voices repeatedly warning me not to look, and here he knew everything I had discovered and never told me.

  “I can’t believe you,” I nearly shouted as I leapt to my feet. “You warned me. Your parents warned me. Don’t go digging around. Don’t Google yourself. How could you not tell me the truth? How could you sit there and warn me after you did it yourself? And I can’t believe you had the nerve to act angry with me for looking into our past when you’d already done exactly the same thing! At least mine was an accident. You did it on purpose!”

  But Jackson just laughed even harder at my outburst. “Calm down. I am sorry.” Yet, his laughter was only increasing my anger.

  “Oh, forget it.” I stormed out of the room, but he chased after me.

  “Jocelyn, stop! Seriously, do not leave. I am sorry. Honest I am. Please, come back in and have a seat.” He gently touched my arm and guided me back over to the couch.

  I sat down a little further away from him and Jackson laughed, and noticing the distance I put between us, he scooted closer to me. He gently pulled me into his arms and kissed my cheek. As much as I really didn’t want to, I could feel myself relenting in his arms. I made a vague attempt to pull away from him, but it was obvious to us both that my heart wasn’t in it.

  “No. I’m still mad at you.”

  He flashed my favorite lop-sided grin knowing it would render me powerless. “You cannot be mad at me forever. After all, we are getting married in a month.”

  “If I’ll still have you!”

  “Oh, you love me,” he pulled me closer and pressed his lips against mine.

  The passion soared between us and I could no longer resist him. Yes, I loved him. With every fiber of my being, I loved him. There would never be anyone ever who could invade my heart and soul the way he had. He truly was my life.

  I pulled myself away reluctantly, breathing hard. “Yes, I do.” I leaned my forehead against his.

  “Are you curious?” he smirked as if he was hiding a glorious secret.

  “About…?” I had no clue what else there could be.

  “Our children?” his smile widened.

  “What about them?” I narrowed my eyes again with suspicion.

  “I know their names,” he chimed smugly.

  “Well, I have the album of our family,” I one-upped him.

  His eyes widened and sparkled. “Can I see it again?”

  “Not until you tell me their names,” I teased, enjoying having the upper hand again.

  “You are malicious.”

  “Always.”

  “Fine then, be that way,” he laughed at my coyness. “Well, our eldest son is Gavin Harold.”

  His words took me by surprise. That was certainly not a name I had ever expected to come from his lips.

  “Gavin Harold? Are you kidding?”

  He looked hurt. “No. Why? What is wrong with that?”

  I slumped back against the couch and whispered the name again to myself trying to figure out where in the world I had ever come up with such a name for my son. “Gavin…I like that,” I whispered softly to myself, sitting a moment longer considering it. “Gavin Harold…yeah, I can see it.” A smile slid across my face and Jackson looked at me with curiosity. “Don’t you get it? Gavin Harold…it’s a strong masculine name that is perfect for both time periods.” He still looked confused. “Gavin…well, Gavin is just a great name. And Harold…can you guess where I got that from?” I couldn’t stop myself from laughing at the irony of my logical thinking, but Jackson only shrugged his shoulders. “The children’s book, Harold and the Purple Crayon.”

  I looked at his blank stare as if he was a complete idiot and still he shook his head again. “It was my favorite book as a kid. Oh. Come on. Don’t you get it? Harold has this magic purple crayon that allows him to draw his own world the way he wants it to be. Therefore, Harold’s world is as he sees it, not conforming to the way everyone else sees it.” I laughed again even harder “It’s the perfect name for a child born with EVE, because he will view the world entirely different from all his peers.”

  Jackson busted out laughing. “You are right. It is perfect.” He shook his head in disbelief at me. “You never cease to amaze me,” he muttered softly and quickly kissed my cheek again.

  “Well, tell me, our second son? What’s his name?” I held my breath, scared to imagine what other twisted logic I could have possibly come up with.

  “Ethan Alexander, after our brothers,” he announced with pride.

  “I love that!” And I truly did. It was perfect for the darling little man from the photo. Plus, I was thrilled that this meant my relationship with my brother would someday mend.

  “And our daughter?”

  “Alyssa Nichole.”

  “That’s so beautiful and it fits her perfectly.” I sighed, remembering the little princess in the long flowing dress on my lap. “Actually, all their names fit each of them well,” I grinned over at him. “We did really well.”

  “I think so,” he agreed before standing up. “Now, can I see the album?”

  “Of course, but let me bring it over here. My house isn’t exactly friendly these days.”

  “Yes, I have noticed that.” He walked me to the door. “Do you think they will ever forgive me?”

  “In time,” I assured him. I leaned up and kissed him passionately before running back across the street.

  Ethan pounced on me as soon as I opened the front door. He raced up the stairs hot on my heels.

  “You think you’re real cute. Don’t you?” he shouted, following me into my bedroom. “Using up all the hot water so I had to take a cold shower. You know how much I hate a cold shower and you did it purely out of spite.”

  “So what if I did? Maybe next time you have a comment you’ll learn to keep it to yourself or you will find yourself riding the bus to school and walking home from practice,” I threatened.

  “You’re not the only one who drives, you know.” He glared and took a step closer to me. But despite his physical advantage, I did not step back. I knew he wouldn’t lay a hand on me. Our dad would skin him alive if he did and he’d be grounded until his graduation.

  “True, but I’m the one with a car and don’t even think about asking any of my friends for a ride,” I replied smugly. I had reached my limit with his opinions.

  Ethan glared at me, narrowing his eyes a little further and took another step toward me. “We’ll see about that.” His voice was surprisingly low and cold.

  “Yes, we will little brother.” He turned to leave, but I added, “Oh, and don’t even think that you’re riding with me or any of my friends to the movie tonight, cause I can assure you, you’re not!”

  He stopped in his tracks and turned slowly around. “You can’t stop me.”

  I let out a small laugh. “Wanna bet?”

  “If I don’t go, you don’t go!” A satisfied look flashed on his face.

  “Really? Well, let’s see. One of us is eighteen and one of us is not,” my voice rang triumphantly. “Now, let’s think about this. Who can our parents forbid to go on a school night? Not me!” I sang out, laughing.

  “I hate you,” he said calmly. “And I’m going whether you like it or not.”

  “I don’t care if you go or not. But you’re not going with me or my friends. You have your own, stop being a leech on mine,” I said clearly, only because I knew my words stung.

  “I have my own friends. Besides, Zak, Kyle, and Cody are my frien
ds. More so then they are yours!”

  “Yeah, probably…but their girlfriends are my best friends and they are going to the movie tonight with their girlfriends,” I reminded him. “Besides, this is more of a couples thing. Do you really want to be an extra wheel? It’s sort of sad, don’t you think?” I added just for a cheap shot.

  He stared at me fuming, trying to come up with a good retort. His breathing was uneven and his ears were bright pink, as they always were when he worked himself up into a tizzy. Finally, all he said was, “I really do hate you, I hope you know that. And I really hope you do get knocked up by your precious husband and have to drop out of college.”

  “Wow. That one hurt!” I shouted back at him as he stormed out of my room.

  I sat down on the corner of my bed and rested my head in my hands. I hated fighting with him. He was such an important part of my world, and unfortunately, when you’re that close with someone, you know exactly what to say to hurt them the most. As good as it may feel in the heat of the argument, immense remorse and guilt always followed.

  I reached under my bed and pulled out the ancient looking brittle album. I carefully wrapped it in a fleece blanket to protect it from the elements and headed back downstairs. I paused at the bottom of the staircase. I could hear the television coming from the family room and I knew Ethan was probably sulking and munching on anything he’d found in the kitchen.

  He didn’t bother to look over at me when I sat down in the recliner next to him. “Hey E, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean what I said.”

  “Whatever,” he muttered.

  “Come on, Ethan. Talk to me.”

  “I have nothing else to say to you except leave me alone.” He turned and glared at me again.

  “Damn it, Ethan, I’m tired of this! You’re acting like a spoiled brat! Why should you care if I get married or not? It’s none of your business, so just butt out and keep your snide remarks to yourself cause I don’t want to hear it anymore!”

  “Fine. Now will you leave?” he growled.

  “You’re such an ass! No wonder you can’t keep a girlfriend,” I muttered loud enough for him to hear before I stormed out of the room.

  ***