16 Blood Noir ab-16

by Laurell K. Hamilton

  He laughed then, and let himself fall back on the bed with his legs dangling off it. Ive told you before, Anita, I asked and he turned me down. He turned me down because he thought you wouldnt approve.

  But you dont like men, I said.

  Not generally, but Jean-Claude just gets past all the exceptions for me. Maybe its being his pomme de sang, but youd have to be a lot more purely heterosexual than I am not to think about it.

  I remembered Jason telling me this, but I had put it in that box with all the other thoughts I didnt want to think.

  I thought you told me you experimented with some other guy, and it wasnt your cup of tea.

  Lets just say I like giving more than receiving.

  I must have looked puzzled, because he sat up and kissed me on the forehead. You are terribly cute for someone who is the first living succubus in recorded history.

  I am not cute.

  You are, you just dont like that you are.

  I dont know what I would have said to that, because there was another knock on the door. This time it was food. I wasnt sure I was really hungry anymore, but I was grateful for anything that stopped this conversation. Id had about as much honesty for one day as I could handle. I hoped Jason felt the same, but doubted it. When Jason got an idea into his head, he saw it through. Even if you didnt want to hear it.

  21

  W E LET THE waiter, if thats the term for room service, put the food on the dining table. Id never been in a hotel room that had a full-size table for eating before. Since the room was in his name, Jason signed the check and figured out the tip. I just sat there and let them do it. I was thinking, or trying not to think.

  The chicken sandwich wasnt bad. The French fries that came with it were excellent. Jason seemed to be enjoying his Caesar and chicken. Once I would have let the conversation stay dead, but Id grown up a little since then. Though I couldnt help thinking that the last time Id gone out of town with one of my guys it had been Micah, and we had had an uncomfortable and revealing conversation, too. What was it about being alone in hotel rooms with them? Maybe it was that whole alone thing. Maybe.

  Some of the other guys in St. Louis have suggested that everyone who is a regular in my bed grows in power.

  Jason looked at me, a bite halfway to his mouth. He put the fork down and looked surprised. I was going to drop the conversation, and let you think about what Id said.

  I shook my head. If there is even a whisper that some of the other masters are thinking if they took me over, theyd be more powerful than Jean-Claude, we need to nip that idea in the bud. Ive had vampire marks forced on me before and I didnt like it. Ive had a Master of the City do it, a couple of times. Its pretty horrible. I so do not want to go through that, ever again.

  He took a bite of his chicken and looked at me. Those spring-sky eyes showed every bit of shrewd intelligence, all the deep thinking that he normally hid behind the flirting and the smiles. Youre right, but I thought it would take you a few days of thinking it through before you realized how bad it could get.

  I shrugged. Maybe Im growing up, finally.

  He grinned at me. You are one of the most grown-up people I know.

  Whats that supposed to mean?

  You have a lot of trouble letting yourself enjoy yourself. You dont play well.

  I think a lot of the guys in St. Louis would say I play very well.

  He actually almost looked embarrassed, but fought it off. You are an amazing bed partner, Anita, but you dont have any hobbies. You dont do anything to relax except sex.

  I like going to the firing range.

  He tsk ed and wagged his fork at me. Thats work, and you know it. Youre not a gun nut like Edward and his friend Otto, or Olaf, or whatever secret identity hes using.

  I couldnt argue that, so I didnt try. I went back to concentrating on my food.

  So thats it, you make one comment and its no more talk, he said.

  Hey, I put the ball in play, you can pick it up, or you can let it sit there. Ive been brave, I restarted a conversation that I dont want to have; now its your turn.

  He smiled, and put his silverware beside his plate. His salad was mostly gone. He, like most men in his age group and younger, could eat damn fast when they wanted to, or werent forcing themselves to slow down.

  I still had most of my sandwich left. Of course, the French fries were crisp and yummy, which was also distracting me from the chicken. Was I concentrating on the food so I wouldnt concentrate on the conversation? Maybe, but not on purpose.

  Okay, Jason said, we have to help Jean-Claude appear as powerful as he is, or more so.

  How do we do that? I asked. I ate French fries while we talked. Jason had left some of his chicken and a lot of his grilled veggies.

  Im not sure, but first we have to put a stop to this new rumor about us.

  How do we do that?

  I think we need a reporter who gets an exclusive that we can trust.

  No one I saw here today is trustworthy.

  I was thinking of a fellow werewolf and St. Louisian.

  I stopped eating and blinked at him. Irving had to back off on all the exclusives I was giving him, because people started asking questions.

  Jason nodded. I know you almost outed Irving as a werewolf by accident.

  Yeah, the idea is that I wouldnt be sharing secrets with a human being. Did that last sound bitter?

  Jason reached across the table and patted my hand. Apparently, it had sounded bitter. Its hard to be painted as a monster when youre still human.

  I shook my head, and moved my hand away from his. I havent been straight human since I was a child, Jason. Remember, I saw my first ghost in elementary school, and called my first zombie by accident in junior high. That isnt human by most peoples standards.

  People can be pretty cruel, he said. His face had gone all serious. Somehow I didnt think he was thinking about my childhood. Shit.

  I stood up and came around the table to him. He gazed up at me. I kissed him on the forehead.

  What was that for? he asked, but he smiled when he did it.

  I smiled back. So youd smile.

  He pulled me into his lap, and our arms were just suddenly around each other. I can think of other things that would make me do more than smile.

  I give you a sisterly kiss on the forehead and all you can think about is sex.

  He gave me that smile, the real version of the smile that helped separate customers from their money at the club. He could look like everyones favorite brother, or the best friend you had in college or high school; he was everyones buddy, until he got that look. The look that stripped him of the pretense of innocence. The look that let you know behind the boy-next-door charm was someone wicked who would help you be wicked, too.

  The look brought my breath out in a sigh and made me lean in, not quite close enough for a kiss. Is there a reason you left food uneaten on your plate?

  The lascivious look faltered. You never do or say exactly what I expect you to.

  You arent the first man whos noticed that, I said, still not quite close enough to kiss.

  He acknowledged that with a small nod. A too-full stomach impedes good sex.

  Only if you plan to be vigorous, I said, leaning in just a little closer, so that I was staring into those blue eyes so close, so very close.

  He grinned, and then that look filled his face. Oh, I plan to be vigorous, eventually.

  Eventually, I said, and closed those last inches, so that his lips touched mine as he said, Oh, yes.

  22

  J ASON MIGHT HAVE planned on being vigorous, but he started out slow. When I got carried away and wanted to move things along, he finally turned me on my stomach and made me touch the headboard.

  Slow, Anita, we have all night. Ive never had all night with you, and I want to enjoy it. He said that with his nude body kneeling beside me.

  Why is it that all of you remind me that you never get me to yourself?

  Because its true.
>
  I went up on my elbows and gazed down my body to find him at my feet with his body stretched out so that his feet were closer to me than anything else. Are all of you tired of sharing me?

  Not tired, but every man likes to think a woman likes him just for himself, not because hes an extra pair of hands, an extra mouth, a spare dick.

  I must have looked as shocked as I felt, because he crawled back up the bed and hugged me. Im sorry, Anita, I shouldnt have said that, I really shouldnt have.

  Is that how you all feel?

  He shook his head. No, I swear to you, no. Nathaniel enjoys sharing. Jean-Claude loves that you let him share you with other men, especially Asher. I dont know about Micah, he doesnt talk to me like that. Richard, well, our Ulfric doesnt like sharing anything lately.

  But its how you feel, isnt it?

  Truthfully, me and most of the men who only get a little of your attention. Come on, be honest, we are just extra men in the bed.

  Thats not true.

  If its not true for me, then why dont you ever approach me when the ardeur isnt in emergency mode?

  Im with you now.

  Yeah, but its a different kind of emergency. I know this is sort of mercy sex.

  I dont do mercy sex. I sat up.

  Oh, God, I am not in the right mindset for this.

  Then maybe we should stop, I said, moving so that I was sitting against the headboard.

  He hid his face in a pillow and made a muffled scream of frustration. He came up for air, and said, Maybe youre right. We should probably call Irving first and give him the real story about this trip.

  You agree we shouldnt have sex right now? I made it a question.

  Yeah, and maybe we should call Jean-Claude and get his approval on our plan. I guess the other masters are right. Your word is enough to get things done. Im as bad as anyone else. We dont always check with Jean-Claude or anyone else. You say jump, we jump. Richard really hates that about the wolves, by the way.

  Does Jean-Claude hate it?

  He hasnt said so.

  I pulled a pillow into my lap and hugged it. Ill call Jean-Claude; you call Irving and tell him that the story doesnt run unless Jean-Claude approves it.

  Jason nodded. Good plan. He used the landline, and I used my cell phone. I got Jean-Claude on the line while Jason was still trying to find Irving.

  Jean-Claudes voice was as neutral as Id ever heard, empty. I knew that if Id been standing beside him he would have held that stillness that the really old vampires could do, as if, if you looked away they would be invisible. I wondered if you would call, ma petite.

  I should have called earlier, but the reporters sort of threw us.

  It was unexpected, he said, still in that empty voice.

  Jean-Claude, Jason is trying to find Irving Griswold to give him the truth about why were down here. Do you think an exclusive will help?

  You do not usually ask my opinion when you are far away, ma petite.

  I guess I deserved that, but Jason explained some things to me, and Im sorry.

  What are you sorry about, ma petite?

  Im sorry that my freedom has made you look bad in front of the other Masters of the City. Im sorry that Asher and I having our little problem made you look weak in front of our guests. Im sorry that I havent included you more in decisions that affect you.

  His voice held a hint of surprise. Ma petite, is this truly you?

  Fine, fine, make fun of me.

  He laughed then, that touchable, glide-down-your-skin laugh. I am sorry, ma petite, but you have surprised me. Give me a moment to recover.

  Am I really that big a pain in the ass? No wait, dont answer that. I know the answer.

  He laughed again, and it made my body shiver. Stop doing that, if you want Jason and me to concentrate on the problem at hand.

  You have not had sex with our young werewolf yet? He again let me hear surprise in his voice.

  We thought about it, but we thought wed try to be good little servants before we got distracted.

  I do not treat you as my servant, he said.

  No, you dont, and maybe I need to reward that by acting in public a little more like one.

  What do you mean, ma petite? His voice had gone cautious.

  First, can Jason give Irving the truth, and will it help?

  He can, and it will, but wont it ruin your cover story with his father?

  I guess it will, but what else can we do? Jason says that this rumor is going to make you look weak to the other Masters of the City. We have to let them know its not true.

  Yes, but what can Jason say to our reporter friend that will kill the rumor, but not spoil the reason you are both there?

  I glanced at Jason. He seemed to have Irving on the phone at last. Hang on a minute, I said to Jean-Claude. I got Jasons attention.

  He said, Hang on a second, Irving. He put his hand over the phone.

  Jean-Claude is curious what we can say to Irving that will fix the rumor but wont ruin things with your folks?

  Youve met my folks now, Anita. I cant please my father, not really, not in the time hes got left anyway. My sister Roberta isnt going to be won over either. It was a good try, Anita, but weve got to tell the truth. Its more important that Jean-Claude be safe than that my family believe some lie.

  Its not a lie, I said.

  He shrugged. What isnt? We arent getting married. We arent leaving Jean-Claude. We didnt run away, and do some stupid Romeo and Juliet thing. It is all lies.

  I touched his arm. We are lovers. You do like girls better than boys.

  Yeah, but there are a handful of guys that I wouldnt mind getting up close and personal with, and bisexual is just gay lite as far as my family is concerned. He shrugged again. Well have one more visit at the hospital tomorrow and then well go home to St. Louis.

  I wanted to say something, but didnt know what to say. Jason turned back to the phone and started talking to Irving.

  I went back to my cell phone, which I hadnt bothered to cover. Did you hear all that?

  I did, Jean-Claude said.

  I feel like Ive screwed up.

  You could not have foreseen these events.

  I guess not, but I should have thought how the other master vamps might think you were, well, that I wasnt behaving like a very good human servant.

  You are who and what you are, ma petite. I love you as you are.

  I smiled, though he couldnt see it. I know that, but Jason said we need to come up with punishments for us. That you have to be seen as getting your house in order, that you cant be seen as losing control of your woman and your food.

  Jean-Claude was very quiet on the other end of the phone. Sometimes it was unnerving talking to vampires on the phone. They didnt have to breathe, and the old ones had no sense of movement. I finally said, Jean-Claude, breathe or something to let me know youre still there.

  The other masters see my allowing you access to my pomme de sang on a romantic trip as a weakness; if they only understood what a strength it was.

  Which means that Jason is right. We need to be perceived as being punished for this, even though its not true. You need to be seen as bringing your house in order, so they dont keep thinking youre weak.

  I would never have suggested it, ma petite, you know that.

  I do, but now that Jason has let the cat out of the bag?

  It would be helpful to my standing among the other masters.

  Would you have just waited until someone made a move on you before you explained that it was my fault you appeared that weak?

  That would have given me the opportunity to bring the subject up, yes.

  Jesus, Jean-Claude, youve got to stop keeping this much from me.

  I do not know what magic our Jason has over you, but it seems that he is one of the few people who can tell you hard truths and you accept them. You are not even angry.

  I thought about it. I guess Im not. I think Im too worried to be angry. Jason told me theres a hint that some
of the masters think if they could take me as their human servant, they could be as powerful as you, but control me better. That kind of talk could go really badly since I travel all over the country doing my job. I needed to know that, Jean-Claude.

  I thought you would see it as manipulation either to curtail your travel or to force you into a more servile role.

  My ego is secure, Jean-Claude, but my safety and yours might not be if the other masters keep talking shit behind your back.

  What are you willing to do to help stop this merde, this shit talk?

  I havent thought that far, but Im sure you have, so either tell me now, or wait and well have this talk when we get home.

  I have put some thought into things that might satisfy the perceptions of others, but not harm us in our own eyes, he said, again his voice very careful.

  Is it anything we can do right this minute?

  Non.

  Then save it, let me digest all the news tonight. Well talk tomorrow.

  And you will do what is necessary to repair my reputation?

  Some of it, but if Jason was right, and he usually is, he suggested that if you were truly having sex with some of the other men, it would help repair your reputation.

  The silence on the other side of the phone was thunderous.

  Well, shit, I said.

  His oh-so-neutral voice said, Why the exclamation, ma petite? I have said nothing.

  Sometimes silence with you is louder than words, I said.

  I do not understand.

  Lets say that I know the quality of your silences, and that last silence means Jason is right. So Ill say this: I have no idea how the other men would feel about it, and I sure as hell dont know how I feel about it. Though Asher would probably turn cartwheels.

  That is unfair; he has been very patient.

  I know that. I struggled to keep the impatience and near anger out of my own voice.

  Now you are angry.

  Its a lot of stuff to digest, Jean-Claude, and the reporters going berserk today was a little weird. And whats up with Gretchen?

  She is being punished.

  The last time you put her in a cross-wrapped coffin, she came out even crazier than she went in; I dont think she can survive another round of it.