16 Blood Noir ab-16

by Laurell K. Hamilton

  I am open to suggestions, ma petite.

  You cant kill her, because it was too public, thered be too many questions.

  If it had not been so very public?

  Its not just me and the men that make you look weak to the other masters, Jean-Claude. Most of them would have killed Gretchen and Meng Die, already.

  I could kill Meng Die; she has not made a public display.

  I dont mean kill her, but they have both behaved badly and most master vamps wouldnt tolerate it. I love that you feel guilty about taking their humanity away. I love that you feel guilty that you never loved them, but only seduced them. I love that you are thathuman. But the other vamps see it as weakness, dont they?

  They see me as weak for the very reasons you love me.

  Well, most of them are men, they cant help being a littlemale.

  He laughed, and it slithered across my skin as if hed trailed a feather across my body. Oh, God, Jean-Claude, dont do that again. Were being good over here.

  You are being very, very good. He made the very, very sound utterly suggestible.

  Stop that, I said.

  He laughed again, and I clung to the pillow like a lifeline. I said, Do you want to raise the ardeur in me and force Jason and me to have sex?

  You will have sex either way, ma petite, I know you and our Jason. Sex for the two of you is only a matter of when, not if.

  Well, thank you very much.

  Why should a healthy appetite for carnal knowledge be a bad thing, ma petite? It is good to know what you want and need, and to have those needs met.

  Have I been keeping you from meeting some of your needs?

  We have spoken enough of difficult things. When you have finished giving the truth to Mr. Griswold, then enjoy yourselves.

  We were planning to, but I dont like that you seem to be rooting for it.

  Would you enjoy it more if I did not give my permission?

  No, I would never cheat on you.

  He was quiet for a moment then he said, Je taime, ma petite.

  Je taime, Jean-Claude.

  He hung up, and I did the same. He always had an excellent sense of when a conversation was over. I, on the other hand, was always trying to beat a dead horse. Hed learned long ago to just leave the conversational mazes with me. Conversational mazes only worked when you had someone to talk to, but wait, Jason was still here. I could always talk the two of us into a corner after we stopped spilling our guts to Irving. Yeah, the night was young; there were all sorts of unpleasant topics we could cover.

  23

  I HADNT TALKED to Irving Griswold in months, ever since he told me that my exclusives to him, and him alone, were beginning to make people question his humanity. He was a werewolf and a member of our local pack, but he was deep in the closet. His choice, but when he told me to back off, I did.

  I could picture him on his end of the phone: short, a little round, built sort of like a square, not fat, but just that body build that if hed been taller would have made him a great linebacker. He had curly hair and a bald spot starting, but apparently that had begun before he became a werewolf, and being a werewolf meant it would never go further. Id seen him in wolf form and the animal didnt have a bald spot on its head. Interesting.

  Anita, I know I told you to leave me alone about the exclusives, but I didnt expect you to vanish off the planet for me.

  I had expected a lot of things from Irving, but not hurt feelings. Are you really upset I stopped talking to you, or did you just miss what the exclusives were doing to your career?

  That is cold, Anita, very cold.

  Just a question, Irving.

  He laughed then, and his laugh was so nicely ordinary after the magic of Jean-Claudes that it made me smile. Couldnt I miss both you and the career opportunities?

  I suppose. Jason filled you in on the problem.

  Thats you, Blake, all business.

  Were in deep shit, Irving, so yeah.

  He sighed, and his voice was serious when he said, Yes, Jason explained the problem. Though someone here at the paper made sure I saw the segment about you. They said my old girlfriend was on the news.

  Girlfriend? I made it a question.

  Apparently, no man can be seen too often with you without it ruining his reputation.

  I didnt know that, I said.

  You didnt need to know.

  So it wasnt just about your career, was it?

  No, Im dating someone here at the paper pretty seriously. She was a good sport, but the office gossip was pretty virulent.

  Virulent, huh, thats a big word, and a serious one.

  Heh, they wont let me trot my vocabulary out in my articles; Ive got to prove Ive got that college education somehow.

  I smiled again. Id missed Irving more than I thought. Can we fix this mess?

  Articles by me can help minimize the damage, but a good rumor is really hard to kill once it hits the major media.

  What can we do?

  I was thinking a series of articles about what its like to be part of Jean-Claudes life. You know, talk to Jason about what its like to be his pomme de sang. What its like for you to be his girlfriend. Well start with a denial of the rumor, but maybe our Master of the City is overdue for some good press.

  Press that makes him seem in control of his city.

  Yeah, Jason hit the highlights that Im not allowed to write about. If I werent afraid of being outed, this would be such a better story.

  Being outed would be the least of your worries if you wrote everything you know, Irving.

  Is that a threat? he asked.

  I thought about it. No, not consciously, but I am still Bolverk for your pack, the evildoer.

  He lowered his voice. Yeah, you punish the bad little werewolves, I know.

  But no, it wasnt a threat, just an observation. I think Richard would get to you long before I could.

  Yeah, our Ulfric seems to have acquired a temper.

  Sorry about that.

  Is it true hes inherited part of your temper? Irving asked.

  Seems so.

  Then my compliments for your self-control all these years.

  I wasnt sure what to make of the compliment, so I ignored it. Thanks, now what do you need from me?

  Well run the first article about Jasons dad and the cancer, and how his master couldnt travel on such short notice so you came with him for moral support. Itll play very sentimental.

  Wont that make Jean-Claude look weak in the eyes of the other masters?

  Anita, there are only so many ways to explain this rumor away. Showing Jean-Claude as generous to his people may make the other masters think him weak, but trust me, us underlings will read it and go, Wow, hed be a great master to work for. I wonder how I get to move to St. Louis. Revolutions start from the bottom up, Anita, rarely top down.

  Are we starting a revolution?

  The way Jean-Claude runs his territory is revolutionary, Anita. Im not the only reporter whos in deep cover. There are a couple of us who sit around and bemoan the great stories we could write if we werent pretending to be normal.

  I leaned back against the headboard, the pillow still in my lap. I guess I thought you were the only reporter in that deep a cover.

  No, theres one swanmane, and another werewolf, and even a weretiger.

  And youve all managed to hide what you are?

  Yep.

  Must be hard, I said.

  Its hard to hide, but youre seeing how hard it is not to hide.

  I sighed. You got that right.

  Though you being his human servant isnt going to be part of the articles, just the dating.

  Ive looked it up, and me being his human servant isnt legal grounds for my dismissal as a federal marshal, or even an ordinary cop, if I were one.

  You saying I can use it?

  No, but Im saying its not legalities, but perceptions that Im hiding from.

  Okay, Ill write up the article saying how misguided my fellow reporters are, an
d then well start with Jasons article. Then yours, and then well see who else wants to talk; my editor is going to love it.

  How about your girlfriend?

  Ill talk to her when I get off the phone. Shell be okay. Shes in the business.

  Okay.

  You sound tired, he said.

  I leaned my head against the wall behind the headboard. Maybe.

  Ill go hunt up my editor and get this started. You guys be careful.

  Im always careful, Irving.

  He laughed then. If this is your version of careful, then be reckless; its gotta work better.

  We hung up, both laughing. I put the phone in its cradle and went back to leaning against the wall. I even closed my eyes. I was tired. I couldnt even decide why I was this tired.

  I felt the bed move and opened my eyes to find Jason kneeling in front of me. His eyes were very close to mine. He was also still nude, because other than the pillow in my lap, neither of us had thought to get robes.

  Weve done the best we can, Anita, he said.

  I gave him a smile to match how I felt, which wasnt all that much of a smile. Sometimes it would be nice not to have to do my best. Sometimes it would just be nice not to have a crisis to deal with.

  He grinned. I know what you mean. The grin went from his normal to his Ive-thought-of-something-naughty-to-do grin.

  What? I said, and the one word held a wealth of suspicion.

  He laughed, and it made his face look even younger than he was, like a glimpse into a Jason I had never met. Jason before Raina nearly killed him, making him a werewolf. Jason before he became Jean-Claudes morning snack. Jason before life rubbed all his edges away.

  The laughter leaked away and his eyes were serious as he gazed down at me. The look on your face, what are you thinking?

  I shook my head. A dozen thoughts ran through my mind; that I was tired, that hed given a story to the media that would spoil our cover story with his family, that he was being very brave, that I knew he must be hurting, that he was my good friend and I wanted him to know that. What I finally said was, Kiss me.

  He had a moment of looking startled, and then he smiled, and the smile was worth the careful choice of words. That smile that said I had asked first; without the ardeur loose, I had asked for a kiss from him.

  24

  T HE KISS GREW until he pressed me back to the bed, and his body grew eager against the front of me. Eager enough that I wrapped my legs around him, and the most intimate part of him was suddenly pressed tight against the most intimate part of me. He drew back with a shaky laugh.

  We need a condom.

  I closed my eyes and had a moment of embarrassment. Of course, we do, Im sorry I got carried away.

  He leaned down and kissed me quick and hard, and let me see the delight on his face that I had forgotten myself that much with him. Jean-Claude gave me very few restrictions, but this was one. No unprotected sex. He kissed me again, then slid off the bed to hunt for condoms in the luggage.

  I lay there thinking about the fact that I might have forgotten enough to have unprotected sex with Jason. I was on the pill, so technically, it wasnt exactly unprotected. Id been so careful since the pregnancy scare a few months back. How could I have been so careless? Irvings words came back to me, about how my caution hadnt worked, so maybe it was time to be reckless. Was that it? Was I just tired of my best efforts going so wrong, so why try? No, no, just carried away with a handsome man in my bed. Jesus, that didnt sound any better.

  Jason came back with a little string of unopened condoms in his hand. I counted at least four. Arent we being ambitious.

  He glanced down at the condoms, then laughed again. In case one gets put on inside out, or has a hole. I dont want to leave the bed to look for another one.

  I had to smile at him, and that was one of the best things about being with Jason. He always made me smile. No strings, no love on the line, just good friends who had managed to be lovers and still be friends. It was good.

  He put the condoms on the bedside table, then climbed onto the bed, still smiling. The smile changed as he moved closerhis eyes growing more serious, the smile sliding away to leave his face almost empty of expression except for the intensity of his eyes. His eyes were all blue skies, spring skies, but as he leaned in toward me the blue had deepened, so that his eyes were the color of summer, and nothing as soft as spring.

  He hesitated, then half-leaned in for a kiss, his body still to the side of mine. The look on your face, Anita, he breathed.

  What look? I asked.

  He smiled, but it left his eyes that serious, deeper blue. He leaned in and answered with his mouth just above mine. That look.

  He kissed me. Gentle at first, then it grew, and as the kiss grew, he let his body fall against the side of mine, so that the nude front of him was pressed against the long, bare line of my side. The sensation of his groin against my thigh made me thrust into the kiss with hands and arms and mouth. Either he understood, or his body simply responded, because he grew harder, and pushed against my thigh, while he thrust deep into my mouth and I thrust back. The kiss became another way of fucking, gaining its own rhythm as if we both knew what we were mimicking. Our bodies grew with the kiss, so that he began to thrust against my thigh in time to our mouths.

  He drew back, laughing breathlessly, pulling his body inches away so that he was no longer touching my thigh. If we dont stop, Im going to go like this.

  I had to try twice to find enough air to say, Then we have to stop, because thats not how I want you to go.

  He propped himself up on one elbow, his other hand playing lightly over my bare stomach. If Id been just a little less metaphysically powerful Id have had some really serious scars for him to play with, but the weretiger that had tried to gut me hadnt left any mark at all.

  Youve gone all serious on me, Jason said.

  I was just thinking that if I were a little less powerful, thered be scars for you to play with on my stomach.

  He touched my face. Dont think about what weve lost, Anita. Think about what we have.

  I smiled at him, because he wanted me to. You mean dont think about the fight that would have gotten me the scars, and dont think about who died to save me.

  His face went soft, serious, tender. Now youve done it.

  I opened my mouth, and he touched a finger to my lips. He shook his head. If you keep this up, youre going to have to help me get back in the mood.

  I smiled with his finger still against my mouth. He moved, so I could say, You still look in the mood to me.

  Girls have such an unfair advantage, he said, you just look down and there we are.

  I like that about boys, I said.

  He gave a soft laugh. Ive noticed.

  He leaned into me again, showing that he was still erect, but not quite so hard. My moods gone a little soft, so no serious thinking. I want you thinking only about now, about me.

  I searched his face. His body was happy, but his mood was more serious than normal. I guess I should have expected that, but Jason was my cheerful lay. The sex, at least, was uncomplicated. The pillow talk afterward could get downright therapy-deep, but the sex, never.

  Thats a serious face again, he chided.

  I was doing what you asked, thinking about you.

  Why so serious then? he asked, frowning a little.

  I slid my hand through the short silk of his hair, just at the base of his neck, ran my hands up through the utter softness of it, and drew him down toward me at the same time. You have the softest hair of anyone Ive ever touched.

  Softer than Nathaniels?

  Yes, I said. I tried to bring him down for a kiss.

  Fibber, he said, and pushed against my hand so he didnt come closer.

  Fibber? I said.

  Ive had sex with the two of you, remember. His hair is like fur on the skin.

  Yeah, but its not as purely soft. Its a different texture than yours.

  Jean-Claudes hair is soft.

&nb
sp; I frowned at him. Yes, but not as soft as yours. Curly hair is never as soft as straight hair can be.

  Ashers hair is like foam.

  I frowned harder, and took back my hand, so I was just looking up at him. I give you one compliment and you have to pick at it?

  Im sorry, but I just suddenly didnt believe you.

  I dont lie during sex, Jason. I dont say things I dont mean, and I dont fake anything.

  He lowered his face, so I had only his profile. It was a nice profile. Im sorry, Anita, this isnt your issue, its mine. He looked at me, and his eyes had begun to fade back to his normal, paler blue.

  What issue? I asked.

  Youve met my folks now. Ive spent my life not being the person anyone wanted in their life. My dad wanted a different son, Anita. Do you know what it feels like to know that your dad is always wanting some other kind of son?

  Not the son part, I said.

  His eyes intensified, getting that look of interest he got. Did your dad want you to be a boy, or something?

  I smiled. No, he was happy with me. I was still his hunting buddy, and we did all sorts of the guy stuff together.

  Your stepmother, Judith, he said.

  You are a little too smart sometimes.

  Sorry.

  They married when I was ten, and from the moment she came I was not good enough. Not blond enough, not girly enough, not nice enough, not cooperative enough, not the daughter she wanted.

  Shes got a girl your age, right?

  Yeah, Adriana. Shes the perfect daughter for Judith.

  Whats she do?

  Shes a lawyer, engaged to another lawyer.

  Wow, a lawyer, and engaged to be married before thirty. Hard to compete with that, Jason said.

  I figured out somewhere in my midteens that I couldnt compete, so I stopped trying. You acted out your way, I had my own version.

  Like what? He lay down on his stomach, with his arms cradling his head, his face alive with attention. He wanted the sex, yes, but he wanted to learn more.

  I became the ultimate tomboy. I refused to wear a dress. I refused to play the game with Judith.

  Did you do the whole black T-shirt and gloom?