Chaos (Tessa Avery Book 1)

by Lucy Roy

  Epimetheus stood, scooping Tessa up into his arms. I walked toward them and gently laid a hand to Tessa’s forehead. Her eyes flickered open for a moment, but they stared at me blankly before sliding closed again.

  “Hold on.” My father stepped forward, elbowing me out of the way as he moved toward Epimetheus. He looked down at Tessa with a curious expression before lifting his wide eyes to meet Epimetheus’ gaze.

  “Is that—”

  “Yes,” Epimetheus whispered, his voice thick with emotion.

  “Good gods…” Athena whispered as she stared down at Tessa with tear-filled eyes, the fingers of one hand resting on her lips.

  Zeus turned to Apollo, eyes wide.

  “What is it?” I asked, placing a hand on Athena’s arm.

  She took a shuddering breath before slumping against me, tears freely flowing down her cheeks. I barely had time to catch her before she slid to the ground.

  I heard shouting and saw Mary and Yana trying to force their way past Chiron and Ares.

  “As I said,” Apollo said. “I think we should take this elsewhere.”

  Zeus nodded. “Yes, I think you’re right,” he murmured, his focus back on Tessa, a stunned expression plastered on his face. “Back to the palace, now.”

  Without waiting for acknowledgement, he vanished, and the twins, Apollo, Athena, and I followed behind.

  The moment we stepped onto my parents’ front lawn, Zeus charged up the stairs, threw open the front doors, and stormed inside. Halfway to the living room, he gestured to one of the hallways that led off toward the guest wing where Prometheus and Epimetheus had been living.

  “Go, lay her down in one of the guest suites and make sure she’s comfortable. Nathaniel, where is your blasted—Athena!”

  “Yes, Father, I’m here,” she said from just behind me, her voice wobbling and face ashen. It was unnerving; I couldn’t remember the last time I’d seen her in such a state.

  “Get in there and get the girl taken care of. Do not let any of the servants in, whatever you do. The rest of you, in the living room, now!”

  His tone left no room for questions.

  I made to follow Epimetheus and Athena down the hall, but my father grabbed me by the back of my shirt and dragged me down the hall with them.

  “No, you and your scheming brother are coming with me.”

  “What are you—I haven’t done anything!” I protested, struggling against his grip.

  “Father, really, he—”

  My father used his other hand to smack the back of Apollo’s head, sending his blond hair falling across his forehead.

  “Quiet. You’re not going to start defending each other now after spitting on one another for nearly three thousand goddamn years.”

  He threw open the doors to the living room and pushed us both inside. Prometheus followed us in, stone faced.

  Zeus shoved us both inside, then advanced on Apollo.

  Before my father could speak, Prometheus pushed him aside. He grabbed my brother by the collar of his white shirt, lifting him several inches off the ground until he was eye level.

  “Start talking now, Apollo. Tell me why I shouldn’t murder you for hiding her away.”

  Apollo pressed his lips together and pushed against Prometheus. “I haven’t hidden—”

  I slammed my fist into the wall. “Will someone please tell me what the fuck is going on?”

  Tessa was hurt. I needed to go to her, and I couldn’t deal with these games.

  Prometheus straightened, dropping Apollo back to his feet, not sparing him a glance as he stumbled back several feet. He glared at me. “You truly don’t know?”

  “Know what?”

  “Nathaniel, I wanted to tell—”

  “No!” I roared at Apollo. “You don’t get to speak!”

  “Your lover,” Prometheus spoke, his breathing heavy as he eyed me curiously. “She’s no Ischyra. She’s my sister, and your brother has been hiding her from me.”

  “You mean to tell me a spell was cast on Tessa to make her unrecognizable? To take away all of our memories of her?”

  My father paced slowly in front of his fireplace, listening as Apollo detailed his story.

  “Yes. Hecate cast it at Clymene’s bidding,” my brother explained wearily. He ran a hand over his face, then rested his elbow on the arm of the sofa.

  “Yes, Hecate will be dealt with later,” Zeus growled.

  Ignoring him, Apollo continued his story.

  “Clymene wanted her daughter protected from the Titans. She knew Cronus wanted to take her, harness her power, and use it as a weapon in the war. She had Hecate cast a protection spell to fake Tessa’s death, sending her soul into Chaos where they couldn’t reach her.”

  His gaze drifted to Prometheus, who stood leaning against the wall.

  “Eighteen years ago, Hecate temporarily erased all memory of Tessa from existence and she was reborn in human form.”

  “She’s been here for over a month!” Zeus roared, slamming his fist on the mantle. Small cracks spiderwebbed across the front of the stone surface. “First, you don’t tell me—or her, for that matter—about her true identity, now you’re telling me our most powerful witch altered all of our memories?”

  “Hecate placed an interdiction on Hestia and myself,” Apollo said. “I was powerless to tell you any of it.”

  “Are you telling me she gave neither of you a choice? She placed it without your consent?”

  Apollo slumped back in his seat. “No,” he admitted. “I had a choice.”

  I frowned at him. “Why would you agree to something like that?”

  His gaze slid to me, and for once, the look we shared wasn’t filled with anger or malice. “You may not believe this, Nathaniel, but I had her best interest at heart.”

  “Why now?” Prometheus’ voice was rough. “Why was she brought back to us now?”

  “Because the Fates decreed it,” Apollo replied. “Hecate will have to explain that aspect in further detail.”

  “Her nightmares,” I said. “Hestia told me that the first vision was a memory. Are you telling me all of her nightmares have been memories of her past life?”

  “What nightmares?” Zeus looked between Apollo and me, confused. “What are you talking about?”

  I arched a brow at my brother.

  “Yes, her dreams were her memories coming to the surface,” Apollo responded, ignoring our father’s question. “When she shattered Charlise’s illusion during her demonstration, the spell that protected her mind and cloaked her identity dissolved, as well.”

  Zeus banged his fist on the mantle again, sending white dust to the carpet below. “What nightmares?” he roared.

  “She’s been having them for months,” I explained. “Recently, we discovered Atlas was a prominent figure in them.”

  “She’s been dreaming of our brother?” Prometheus pushed himself off the wall and stepped toward me. “When did you discover this?”

  “Just a few weeks ago.”

  “Weeks?” My father stared at me, aghast. “For weeks she’s been dreaming about the Titan we’ve been trying to access for years, and again, you neglected to tell me?” He glared down at Apollo. “And you—"

  Apollo’s hand drifted from his face. “Yes, Father, I knew, as well.”

  “What I don’t understand,” I said to Prometheus, “is why she was dreaming of him. She dreamt of your mother’s death as well as her own, but outside of that one instance, he was the focus. I’d just assumed she was a lover, until Menoetius mentioned the physical resemblance.”

  “Nathaniel!” Apollo snapped.

  Prometheus’ eyes widened. “She’s seen Menoetius? When?”

  “He came to her in a dream walk a few nights ago.”

  Prometheus paled. “Show me,” he demanded.

  “Me, as well,” Zeus said through clenched teeth.

  I hesitated, then shared the memory of her dream with them both.

  As they watched the eve
nts of the dream walk unfold, Zeus cursed, and Prometheus began to look nauseous. He closed his eyes against the vision of her torture, and fresh tears began to fall from his eyes.

  “He’ll go to any length to torment her,” he whispered. He raised his eyes to mine. “He despised her from the moment she was born.”

  Before I could respond, my father spoke.

  “How could you not bring this to me?”

  “I’m sorry—” I began.

  “It’s just as much my doing as it is his,” Apollo interrupted. “He brought her to me just after the dream walk occurred.”

  “I should banish you both to Tartarus for all you’ve kept from me,” Zeus spat, turning to rest his hands on the mantle. “First her powers and now this. It’s inexcusable.”

  I exchanged a glance with Apollo before turning back to Prometheus.

  “It seems clear she’s close to Epimetheus, but he never appeared in her dreams. Was her relationship with Atlas different?” I asked him.

  Prometheus rubbed a hand over his eyes, wiping away the last of the tears, then sighed. “Very much so. They’re twins, Nathaniel. Inseparable since birth. Her and Clymene’s deaths tore what remained of our family apart and nearly killed him. She was, quite literally, his other half.”

  46

  Tessa

  “Tessa, honey, it’s time to wake up.”

  A gentle, honey-sweet voice spoke beside me.

  I dragged my eyelids open, then slammed them back shut at the onslaught of color and light that surrounded me.

  A warm hand rubbed circles on my back.

  “No, sweetheart, none of that. Too many people are waiting for you.”

  Slowly, I opened my eyes and stared into the porcelain face of Hestia. Her flame-red hair flowed over her shoulders in waves. A tall, slender woman with long, curly black hair, light brown skin, and full, bow-shaped lips stood next to her. Three glittering moons were pinned in her hair.

  “There you are,” Hestia said, smiling as she stroked my cheek.

  “Come, let’s sit up, dear,” the black-haired woman said. Gently, she helped lift me to a sitting position.

  We were sitting on the edge of one of the hot springs. The aqua water steamed in front of me as purple flowers rioted around us.

  “Why are we here?”

  Hestia tucked my hair behind my ear. “You’ve got fond memories here, don’t you?”

  I let my bare feet dangle into the hot water, then closed my eyes.

  That’s right. I’d been here with Nate.

  “Yes,” I whispered. “This is where—"

  “Where you first realized you could love our Nathaniel.” She gave me a knowing smile. “He’s a good boy, you know. Quite perfect for you. A true kindred spirit.”

  I smiled at the memory. I’d thought that, as well.

  It seemed so long ago.

  “It’s different now,” I said. I turned to meet Hestia’s eyes. “I’m different. All of these memories…”

  I squeezed my eyes shut as the blurred memories of my life before swirled through my mind. “What’s happening to me?”

  “You’re waking up,” Hestia said, smiling.

  “It’s been quite some time coming,” the other goddess said.

  I gazed up at her, then recognition dawned. “You’re Hecate,” I said. “You were at the transformation ceremony.”

  “I was. I wanted to see for myself that you’d returned to us.”

  “You were in my dream, too.” I frowned. “I don’t understand…”

  She gave me a sad smile. “It’s a sad story, and I’m sorry I have to be the one to tell it.” She twined her long fingers through my own and gazed at me with a look of sorrow. Her eyes were a stormy gray, nearly the same color as her soft sweater, and full of emotion.

  “Just before the war started, Cronus discovered a way to steal power from other immortals. Gods, witches, anything with power. He wanted to be invincible, and utilizing the affinities possessed by other immortals was his means to an end.”

  She squeezed her eyes shut and took a deep breath.

  “When your mother discovered Cronus’ plan to capture you and use your power to his own gain, she made a deal with me.”

  “You need to know that your mother loved you very much,” Hestia cut in, placing a hand on my back. “Everything she did was for her children.”

  I frowned, then looked to Hecate. “What kind of deal did she make with you?”

  Her eyes searched mine for a moment before she responded. “Her life in exchange for your protection.”

  “What? No.” My eyes darted between them. “Iapetus killed my mother, I watched it happen. You were there.”

  “Let her finish,” Hestia said gently.

  “Your mother went to that clearing willingly, Tessa, knowing her life would end. She knew what Cronus expected of Iapetus. The only way I could do what she asked—send your consciousness, your soul, into Chaos for safekeeping—was to use the energy of a powerful immortal being.”

  “Why not Iapetus? Or anyone else?” My voice wobbled as I struggled to maintain some semblance of composure.

  “They wished you harm, dear. Their energy would have done little to protect your soul. Hers was full of love, a desire to protect. Cronus wanted your power, so we needed to hide you away. Had you stayed in this realm, he would have found you. So, when your father killed your mother, I directed her energy toward you instead of allowing it to flow freely back into Chaos.”

  I stared down at the warm blue pool as I took in her meaning.

  “Then my mother…she wasn’t murdered?” I whispered.

  “No, honey,” Hestia said. “She sacrificed herself.”

  I sucked in a sharp breath as tears filled my eyes. Clymene’s screams of anguish echoed through my mind. I felt myself slowly slump into Hestia’s arms as sobs began to tear at my body.

  She’d done that—endured that horrific pain—for me.

  Hestia wrapped an arm around me and rested her head against mine. “I’m so sorry,” she whispered. “I wish I could’ve told you all of this sooner.”

  I sniffed, then pulled back to look at her. “Why couldn’t you?”

  “That was my doing,” Hecate said. “The Fates came to me eighteen years ago and told me you’d been reborn, your memories of your life as a Titan stored safely in your deep consciousness. I needed someone I could trust with the information to keep watch over you. I erased all memory of you, then placed an interdiction on Hestia and Apollo and instructed them to keep you focused on your training. Once you were strong enough, I intended to explain it all to you myself.”

  Annoyance flashed through her eyes when she looked at Hestia.

  “Things became a bit more rushed once Hestia found a loophole and flagged that memory in your subconscious. Your Coercer saw it immediately when he looked into your mind.”

  “So the other dreams…the ones I had before, where I couldn’t see anything?”

  “Those dreams were your memories peeking through, that’s true, but they were, for the most part, locked down tightly. Once that first one was let loose from your subconscious, it left a crack for others to seep through. When Nathaniel opened your mind during your transformation ceremony, more slipped free. That’s why you began having such vivid dreams after your powers were awakened.”

  I stared at the steam as it rose lazily from the water, trying to take in all she was telling me.

  “Those memories are from an earlier time, Tessa, but they don’t change who you are,” Hecate said.

  I huffed out a small breath.

  Easy for you to say, I thought.

  I turned to Hestia. “You said something to me, back when I was still human. Something about gaining a piece of myself that had been dormant? Being the same Tessa I was, but complete. Is this what you meant?”

  “It is,” she said, smiling sadly.

  “But I feel so broken,” I protested as tears once again threatened to fall. “I have vague memories of bein
g a Titaness, and I remember the way it felt to be sent into Chaos, but I don’t remember actually being there. It’s as though I went from Titaness to human, and there’s this huge blank spot in the middle.”

  “It’s as Hestia said,” Hecate responded. “That piece of you was dormant until you were reborn. A soul is not a being with awareness of its surroundings. It needs a lifeforce, a living being, in order to truly exist and create memories.”

  “Why now?”

  “I’d hoped to bring you back after the war, once Cronus was destroyed, but Zeus decided to sentence him to Tartarus, instead. After a time, the Fates became concerned that your soul would begin to deteriorate if it didn’t have a lifeforce to attach to, so when they said it was time to bring you back, I acquiesced to their demands. When you were an infant, I cast a cloaking spell that hid your memories and memories of your prior existence from those who knew you.”

  “Wouldn’t it have been better to return me to my brothers? You know they would’ve protected me,” I asked Hecate.

  “Your brothers were…difficult when it came to you, Tessa. You’ll remember that in time. Prometheus and Epimetheus would’ve gone back to being overprotective. They’d have kept you locked in a bubble of safety, only permitting you freedom when you took it by force.” She gave me a fond look. “Which you did, often and loudly, as you’ll soon recall. Maybe it sounds silly, but I wanted more for you than that. I thought it much more prudent to send you into a life where you’d be given freedoms to become your own person.”

  She smiled and ran her hand over my hair. “I knew your mother, Tessa, and I’m certain that’s what she would have wanted for you.”

  “Wait, if you put this spell on everyone that might recognize me, how did Menoetius know who I was?”

  “Ah. Yes, Menoetius is tricky,” Hecate said. “He has the ability to disable powers, even my own if he puts his mind to it. Creating an illusion or casting a spell on someone with that power can be incredibly difficult. You had no memory of him, but due to his abilities, his memories of you were much harder to erase.”