Aint too proud to beg sfdg-1

by Susan Donovan

  Josie came to stand near them. She was wearing a short denim skirt, a little blue T-shirt, and sandals. Her hair was pulled back from her face, and fell down to her shoulders. She looked so pretty he could hardly breathe. / Go slow… be cool…/ Please dont tell me Celestial Pet did this to him, Rick said, trying not to laugh.

  I know. Its pretty awful. It wasnt your store. Josie took a step closer, her cheeks reddening with embarrassment. I took him to Bevs Canine Beauty Barn on Twenty-first Street.

  Rick sucked in his lips and bit down, trying with all his might not to bust out laughing. Why did you do that?

  Josies eyes narrowed. Because I was so angry it made sense to me, thats why. I didnt take him to Celestial Pet on purpose, out of spite. I wanted you to be hurt and offended that I didnt use my free service.

  Rick nodded as though her logic were sound.

  Stupid, obviously. Josie sighed and looked around the lawn. Rick, can we talk?

  Absolutely. He gestured toward the shade under the ginkgo tree. Step into my office.

  They walked side by side for a moment, and he gestured for her to take a seat on one of the buckwheat cushions.

  He didnt see it coming. The force of the attack caught him off balance and he staggered backward, nearly falling to the ground.

  Josies bag hit the grass and she jumped up, body-slamming him, much like her dog had just done. She grabbed him and kissed the hell out of him.

  She clung to him, her legs wrapped around his waist and her arms around his neck. She smothered him with her kisses, her apologies, her tears.

  Rick couldnt breathe, but it didnt matter. If he had to die, this would be his preferred method of crossing over.

  He stumbled back and hit the trunk of the tree. With one arm Rick braced himself against the bark. With the other he squeezed her bottom.

  It would have been one of the best moments of his life if Josie wasnt crying. But she continued crying and kissing and clutching at him like her existence depended on it.

  Hold on a minute. Rick somehow managed to get his lips away long enough to gasp for air. Wait. Just a Im so sorry! Josie grabbed him on either side of his face. Ive been horrible. Childish. Downright mean. Rick, forgive me!

  Rick tried to nod his head, but he had little range of motion in her grip.

  Oh. Sorry. Josie unhooked her legs from his waist and slid down the front of his body. She pulled down her skirt and smoothed her hair. Ive missed you. I didnt realize how much till I saw you. I got carried away.

  If measured in pain and regret, the last ten days of Ricks life had rivaled the worst days after the accident. For the last ten days, Rick had walked around like a zombie, aching for Josies company, her laugh, her love.

  Right after the arrest, Rick assumed Josie hated him for not protecting her from Cummings. It was some comfort when his newest friendsBea, Ginger, and Roxietold him there was something else bothering Josie, but that she refused to discuss it. They assured Rick that Josie would come around, and suggested he give her some space.

  Hed never had platonic women friends before. He had no idea it could be so handy.

  Feel free to get carried away with me any time you want, Josie, Rick said.

  She nodded. Ive been afraid to come to you. She looked down at the cushions. Can we sit?

  Rick took her hand and pulled her down on his lap. She patted his arm and then moved to the next cushion over. With my other relationships, I never used to come out with stuff that bothered me. I held it inand look where that got me. Josie took a deep breath. Rick, I want to do things differently with you. I came here today because we need to clear the air between us. Can we do that?

  Yes. Rick nodded. But first, I have to askhave you been okay?

  Josie nodded. Yeah. Im fine physically. Mentally, it hasnt been horrible. At first Cummings scared me, but he wasnt all that bad.

  Rick raised an eyebrow.

  He was just a guy who couldnt mourn the loss of his daughter. For seven years, hed focused all his energy on hating you. Josie took a breath. I think he figured out that no matter how many of Rick Rousseaus girlfriends he kidnapped, Margot wouldnt be coming back.

  I only have one girlfriend, Rick said. I dont plan on having any more, ever.

  Josie looked down and fiddled with some clover, a faint smile on her lips. It took everything in him not to touch her.

  Rick, Cummings told me that Margot came home pregnant on Christmas break of her sophomore year. Josie raised her eyes to him. She looked sad. Did you know about that?

  Rick froze, the question jarring him. No. Why?

  She was four months along when she had an abortion. The baby was yours.

  Rick felt his body go rigid with denial. It couldnt be! Margot never said anything about a baby, Rick said, his calm a cover for the chaos inside him. I think Cummings was mistaken.

  Josie pursed her lips. Didnt you date her in college?

  Rick rubbed his jaw, not sure their activities constituted dating, but it was the euphemism of choice on every college campus, everywhere. Yes.

  I dated her for the last part of our freshman year, then again in the fall of our sophomore year. And she never said a word to me about being pregnant.

  Josies shoulders sagged.

  Rick leaned his head against the tree trunk, trying to breathe. There was something about this that wasnt rightsomething more than being told hed fathered a child he never knew existed. Something at the back of his mind was screaming that it didnt make sense.

  Then it hit him, and he laughed out loud with relief. That baby was not mine, Josie.

  Josie frowned at him. How do you know?

  Rick leaned toward her. Did Cummings say Margot was four months along at Christmas?

  Josie nodded. He said the doctor initially refused to perform the procedure because she was too far along.

  Josie. Rick reached out for her hand. Listen to me. It wasnt my child. I need you to believe me.

  He saw how she struggledit was broadcast all over her face. She wanted to believe him. She was willing to believe him. But it was hard.

  That was the only thing… Josies chin quivered. It was the one thing I told you I couldnt handle, Rick.

  I remember. And Im telling you the truth.

  Josie looked deep into his eyes and nodded. All right, she said. Im going to trust my instinct here and believe you. She smiled sadly. I want to believe you.

  Would it help if I could prove it?

  How in the world could you do that? She leaned away from him, confused.

  Rick chuckled and shook his head at the irony. I never thought Id turn into Chatty Cathie about all this, but remember when I told you I was in jail twiceonce in the States and once in Thailand?

  Josie nodded.

  I was in jail four months before Christmas of that year. I couldnt have gotten her pregnant.

  Josie sat up straight. Are you absolutely sure?

  Sweetie, I was a guest of the city of Milwaukee from late August to the beginning of October, when my dad finally got the charges dropped. I was three weeks late starting the semester at Yale, but the registrar let me in anywayyet another problem my father managed to make go away.

  Josie blinked.

  Margot may have claimed I was the father, but I wasnt. He watched Josies face, relieved by her tentative smile. I can have my arrest records by the end of the day.

  I dont need records, just your word, Josie whispered, the tears gathering in her eyes. Mrs. Needleman told me that when I talked to you Id know whether I could trust you, right here. Josie took one of Ricks hands and pressed his finger into her belly. She was right. I will never doubt you again, Rick.

  He fell into her, and she welcomed him into her arms. After the initial rush of relief, Rick grabbed her and pulled her onto his lap. He kissed her softly, letting his lips tell her all the things words could not do justicethat she was the love of his life, the glue that held all the good things together.

  Genghis began to lick Ricks face, ruining
the moment. They both started laughing.

  I think hes jealous, Rick said.

  No. Hes just missed you. Josie touched Ricks cheek. Hes started sleeping by the door. Hes been waiting for you.

  Thank you for coming to talk to me. Rick propped her up on one of his knees. Dont ever be afraid to ask me about my pastor my present or future for that matter. Theres nothing I dont want to share with you.

  Really? Josie bit her bottom lip. You love me like that?

  Rick chuckled. Would you like to know just how much I love you?

  Josie nodded, her eyes sparkling.

  Lets stand up for a minute. Josie jumped to her feet and pulled Rick up.

  Now, close your eyes for me. She did. Keep them closed.

  Rick dug into the front pocket of his shorts, pulling out the little velvet box hed been carrying around since the night his proposal was interrupted. It seemed like years ago.

  He got down on one knee. He opened the box and offered it up in his right hand. Genghis plopped at Ricks side. Clearly, this was going to be a team effort.

  You can open your eyes now, Josie.

  She gasped, and her hands flew to her mouth in astonishment.

  Will you marry me? Will you try this with me?

  I will! she shouted, half laughing and half crying, staring at the ring in awe. I think Im about to get carried away again, she said, just before she pounced on him.

  CHAPTER 23

  The August air was clear and cool, and a few clouds floated across the blue sky. Samhain Ranch was in full bloom, the grapes plump and round, the fig trees heavy with fruit, the gardens bursting with outrageous color and scent. The one hundred or so invited guests mingled on the lawn and sipped champagne, their laughter rising and falling on the breeze. Dogs and children weaved in and out of long skirts and tablecloths. Josie couldnt help itshed been spying from behind the thick vines of the guest cottages second-story balcony, and she couldnt tear herself away.

  It was her wedding day. Who would have ever imagined that Josephine Agnes Sheehans wedding would look like something from a storybook? Who wouldve imagined shed be marrying a man like Rick Rousseau?

  Frankly, whod ever imagined Josie getting married, period?

  Theres not going to be a wedding if you dont finish getting dressed!

  That was Beth, yelling from downstairs.

  Josie, we cant find your fathers cummerbund! That was her mother. He might have left it at home! Sweet Mother of Jesus! /Psst./ Josie turned in surprise to see Rick perched on a bedroom windowsill.

  She laughed in surprise, her heart soaring at the sight of him. How in the world did you get up here? Youre not supposed to see the bride before the ceremony!

  Too bad. Rick took a few strides toward her, but stopped abruptly. My God, youre beautiful.

  Josie stepped in from the balcony and faced him, immediately feeling his lustful gaze burn her skin. She wore only her white stockings and garter, satin heels, and a white lace bustier and panties. She put her hands on her hips. Well, I sure hope you like what you see because youve just ruined your big wedding-night surprise, Rousseau.

  A huge smile spread across Ricks face and he rubbed his close-shaven chin. Ill pretend like Ive never seen it before. I swear. He chuckled.

  But, since Ive already ruined it, would you mind just turning around for me? Just once?

  Josie did a half spin, raised her arms, and wiggled her hips like a hula dancer. When she turned back around, Rick looked flushed.

  You okay?

  No, Rick said, hopping down from the windowsill and adjusting his tuxedo trousers. I dont think its appropriate for a guy to get married with a raging hard-on. It may even be against the law.

  It was Josies turn to admire her betrothed. Ricks hair was neatly trimmed and combed back from his strong, handsome face. His mellow green eyes smoldered in contrast to the pure white of his tuxedo shirt and white tie. They also matched the green of the two serpent heads peeking up from the collar. The perfectly cut black Armani jacket and trousers gave him a sleek, sophisticated look. The entire ensemble was topped off by his worn running shoes and no socks.

  Rick saw her expression. Dont worry. Ill change into my other shoesI just didnt want to climb the trellis in those things. No traction.

  Of course, Josie said, smiling. They held each others gaze for a long moment, saying nothing, each savoring the vision of the other. She felt it. She knew it. Rick was the one for her. She was the one for him.

  I finished my vows this morning, he said, a touch of pride in his voice.

  And everythings loaded up in the limo.

  Thats great.

  Rick came closer and reached for her hands. Are you okay, sweetie? You seem a little quiet.

  Josie nodded and said she was fine, but the tears started. Im blown away by all this, Rick! My Godwere getting married! She blotted at her eyes.

  I cant start crying now or Ill never stop!

  Its okay, baby. Rick pulled her close and cradled her in his arms. He held her carefully, aware of her complicated hairdo and her makeup. He kissed the top of her head with the utmost caution. You know you can always tell me anything, no matter what it is. He paused. Are you having second thoughts?

  Josie pushed herself away and stared at him with wide eyes. Are you freakin nuts? she asked. They both laughed loudly. Are /you/ having second thoughts?

  Hell, no. I am the happiest man that ever lived. /Who are you talking to?/ That was Beth shouting again, only this time she sounded much closer. Oh, my God! Get out! Beth yelled, pointing an accusing finger at Rick and retreating from the bedroom door. Mom! Rick snuck into Josies room!

  What? her mother screeched from downstairs. Beth, get down here and help me with this godforsaken, muddy-mettled rascal of a dress!

  Rick raised an eyebrow. /Henry V?/ /Hamlet./ Im outta here. His hand slipped from Josies grasp and he hurried to the window.

  Hey, Rick? she called after him.

  He turned, halfway over the windowsill.

  Thank you. Josie didnt know why she said those particular words, but they were what needed to be said.

  For what, sweet Josie?

  For agreeing to have that cup of coffee with me. I know saying yes wasnt your first instinct.

  Rick tilted his head. She watched his smile tighten as a wave of emotion swept across his face. For a moment, she thought he was going to cry, too. Thank you for asking me, he said, swallowing hard. I know it wasnt your first instinct, either.

  Josie nodded.

  Rick blew her a kiss. Im going to spend every day showing you how happy I am to have you in my life.

  Josephine Agnes?

  Josie turned to see her mother and Beth in the hallway, holding Josies wedding gown aloft. Behind them were Roxanne, Bea, and Ginger, in matching moss-green gowns accented by matching expressions of amusement.

  Bea dramatically crossed her eyes, sucked in her cheeks, and made a peace sign over Beths head. Josie laughed.

  Do you want to get married or not? Her mother nodded at the yards of cream-colored satin carefully draped over her arm. Ricks photographer friend is getting antsy. Youre in your underwear. Your father has no cummerbund.

  Josie glanced toward the window again, but Rick was gone. She ran to the balcony in time to see him, in his tuxedo and running shoes, sneaking across the lawn to the main house. An agitated Teeny waited for him, gesturing wildly.

  Josie felt the happiness start with a little flutter in her belly. It raced through her heart, where it gathered force and speed, and blossomed into a huge smile.

  She turned to the women in the doorway. Lets get this party started!

  Because Mrs. Needleman turned out to be about four feet tall, even in her orthopedic dress shoes, Rick and Teeny had to build a wooden dais for her to stand on during the ceremony. Theyd draped it in a white tablecloth and stuck flowers all around it, and it had looked fine at the time, but seeing her standing there now, a book of poetry in her hands, Rick realized Mrs. Needleman
looked like the decorative topper to an oversized wedding cake.

  He couldnt help but laugh.

  Teeny leaned down and whispered in his ear. Dont you dare start that, man. Its more contagious than crying.

  Rick was saved when the string quartet struck its first chord of the Bach Air. It was time.

  The bridesmaids began their procession across the lawn, one by one, down a center aisle of manicured grass. Beth came first, beaming with happiness. She was followed by Bea, who looked thrilled but moved as if she hadnt worn a dress in forty years, which, according to Josie, she hadnt. Roxanne was stunning with all that dark hair pulled up at her neck. Ginger was her usual knockout self but looked like shed been poured into her dress, which might explain why his photographer buddy Lucio hadnt taken his eyes off her the entire day.

  Then there was Josie.

  Rick swallowed hard, his heart bursting at the sight of his beautiful bride. If he thought Josie had looked good in lingerie, it had been a warm-up for this. She was stunning as she walked slowly toward him on her fathers arm.

  Josie was nervoushe could tell by the way she blushed. But it only made her more radiant. She was all smiles, soft curls, and sparkling eyes.

  Her curves were wrapped up in a floor-length, sleeveless dress as elegant as it was uncomplicated. It suited her perfectly. It suited the setting.

  When Josie reached him, Rick pumped her dads hand, then guided Josie to their place in front of Mrs. Needleman. Rick stole a quick glance at Josie before the ceremony began, and winked at her. She giggled.

  He tried his best to stay in the moment, but the truth was, it all went by in a blur. Mrs. Needleman said a few sweet and kind things about the two of them, adding that destiny had had a hand in their union. Despite all of Ricks worries, when the time came for him to say his vows it went off without a hitch. Josie got so choked up when he spoke of how her love had brought him back to life that Beth shoved a lacy handkerchief in her hand.

  Josies vows were similarly short and sweet. She said that no one could change the past, and that today was all any of them had. She promised to treat her husband with honesty and kindness and to greet each day they shared with gratitude. At that point, Rick held out his hand so Beth could pass the handkerchief.