I Hate You, Love Me

by Jamie Knight

  “Only because I wanted you so fucking bad and couldn’t figure you out,” he says. “You were so mean to me like you wanted me to leave, and then you were walking into my bathroom and looking at me like you wanted to fuck me. It was confusing.”

  “I did want to fuck you,” I admit. “But then I hated that I did.”

  “Well, I just had to protect myself from you,” he says jokingly, with a laugh. “I couldn’t let someone who hates me get too close.”

  I laugh, too, but I get what he means. I’d felt the same way ever since he had kissed me back in high school.

  “It doesn’t matter,” I tell him. “Now we’re together.”

  “Agreed,” he says, and kisses my neck.

  That word, “together”, it doesn’t seem enough right now. We are joined.

  As the water pours on us, we fuck. The sound of our moans melds into the noise of the constant splashing.

  Devon increases his speed, filling me up with his hard shaft. He pumps me hard and fast, bringing us both to our pleasure.

  “That feels so amazing,” I tell him.

  “You like my cock in your pussy, don’t you?” he asks me.

  “I love it,” I tell him. “It fills me up and stuffs me full.”

  I like experimenting with dirty talk with him. I feel close enough to him now – vulnerable enough – and I think we’ll keep talking dirtier in the future.

  It makes me so wet that I’m dripping onto his cock. He twists my nipple and it sends me over the edge. Likewise, I can feel his cock throbbing and pulsing and I can tell he’s really close, too.

  We both cum together at the same time. My pussy grips him tight as he spurts load after load into the condom.

  Part of me wishes he was putting his seed in me for real. Maybe giving Alice a little sibling. But we’re not quite there yet, of course. It’s just a silly fantasy.

  Devon helps me stand and takes me into his arms. We let the warm water flow over us and relax.

  “I was turned on when I first saw you nude,” I say. “I’m glad we came back here. I wanted this.”

  He smiles and lets the moment sit for a while.

  “We should do something adventurous,” he then suggests.

  “Like cliff diving?” I ask jokingly, and stick out my tongue.

  “Those days are behind me,” he says.

  “What are you thinking?” I ask.

  “Maybe skydiving,” he says.

  I gasp, and even though I know the idea is dangerous, I laugh at the way he said it. And the thought of doing something so fun and outrageous together.

  “Oh wow,” I say, when I can catch my breath.

  “And sex… we always have fun, adventurous sex, but this time I want to have it outdoors,” he says, giving me a grin.

  “I think I can make that happen,” I tell him.

  I can’t believe that this stable yet adventurous guy is mine. I can’t believe we’re going to do such crazy things together. But I’m ready for it, and whatever else the future might hold.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Cassie

  Six months have gone by. It seems like so much has changed since those days spent staying at Charles and Amanda’s house. Now Devon, Alice and I are living together in a new home, and Alice even has her own bedroom!

  She is so excited. It makes me happy that I can finally provide those kind of things for her. We struggled for so long, it’s almost like we woke up from a bad dream.

  Devon has been such a positive influence on her, too. Alice listens to him and has been much calmer and well-behaved. He has really stepped up and provided guidance, becoming somewhat of a father figure. It warms my heart and helps provides a sense of ease I don’t think I’ve ever felt before.

  In other good news, Devon’s memory has slowly returned, and the doctors say he is finally back to 100%. He’s working again at the investment firm and appears to be excelling.

  He comes home and tell us about all of the deals happening. It’s so nice to see him truly be himself. He thought it would be boring, but usually he finds it surprisingly exciting.

  As for me, my business is going really well. After I landed my first client, I lined up a few others right away. I was able to close several sales on some nice properties and get completely out of debt. I feel valued at the office I work at and am learning a lot from the broker.

  Amanda and I are closer than ever. We meet up with the other gals once a week for wine and dinner. There’s even talk of a book club – a real one, not the one Devon used to wonder if I was sneaking off to.

  After a long day showcasing properties as part of a Parade of Homes event, I come home to find Devon has prepared a wonderful dinner.

  “Oh my, Devon! This looks and smells wonderful,” I say.

  “Trust me, this isn’t all me,” he says with a laugh. “I had a little help but I did do my best to contribute.”

  I kiss him, then look over at the table and notice that a very important detail seems to be missing.

  “There’re only two plates. Where’s Alice?” I ask.

  “She is staying overnight with Amanda and Charles,” he says. “We have the place to ourselves.”

  “Mmmmmm… that’s lovely,” I say, and then give him another kiss.

  Once in a while he arranges sitting with them so that he and I can have a date and a good, loud fuck. Even though I always miss Alice when that happens, I also love when he surprises me and goes to these lengths to have a special night alone with me.

  We sit down to dinner. The first course is a salad with balsamic vinaigrette and fresh baked bread. I think I know where he got the loaf from – an organic supermarket in town – but I don’t want to ruin the magic of the evening by dissecting his choices.

  I will say, if it is the brand I’m thinking of, I do like it very much. And the salad has all the ingredients I love: Kale, raspberries, blackberries, toasty pecans, and some creamy feta cheese.

  “You remembered my favorite salad!” I exclaim.

  “Is it right?” he asks.

  I take a bite.

  “Mmmmmmmmm… it’s perfect.”

  The next course comes out and it’s sea bass with fresh lemon, broccolini, and a sweet potato topped with cinnamon butter and brown sugar. He really is wowing me. He’s cooked for me before, but never so elaborately.

  “Seriously, how did you make this delicious dinner happen?” I ask.

  “It’s a secret,” he says coyly.

  We enjoy the food and talk and laugh. This might be the most comfortable I’ve ever felt. The most secure I’ve ever been. Devon makes me feel wanted and loved. I am happy.

  After we finish dinner, Devon clears the plates and brings out dessert. It’s again, my favorite, chocolate cake!

  He takes a fork, slices in, and lifts it to my mouth for me to take a bite. It’s amazing. He hands me the fork and I grab another bite.

  Just then, he reaches under the table and pulls out a small blue box. I drop the fork onto the table. It clings and my heart starts to race.

  He gets down one knee and opens the box slowly to present the contents. I look down with tears starting to well up. It’s a gorgeous diamond engagement ring: sparkly and huge. There are definitely benefits to being in love with an investment banker.

  “Will you marry me?” he asks.

  “A thousand times yes,” I answer.

  He places it on my left-hand ring finger. I hold it up to look at it and can’t believe what I see.

  He stands up, takes my now adorned hand, and lifts me up to him. We kiss, this time more passionately. His tongue goes deep into my mouth and I suck it. He withdraws, licks around my lips, kisses my cheek and then my neck.

  He reaches for the fork and takes a bite of the cake and then kisses me again. I can taste the sweetness enter my mouth. I accept and swallow. The rush of sugar and electricity of his touch makes my body warm and full of desire for more.

  He pulls out the chair and sits me on it. It is sturdy. I
t is solid. And as I sit on this chair, I look as Devon pulls down his pants and takes off his shirt to reveal his toned body and hard cock.

  He brings his dick forward and I take it into my mouth. As I suck, his hand cups itself behind my head and guides me forward and back. He is in control. He will soon be my husband. I will soon be his wife.

  I feel his hard cock thrust in and out. I reach back to hold the back of his hand and push my mouth deeper on his shaft. I almost gag but relax my throat. This is the cock I will be with forever. I want to enjoy every inch of it, to learn how best to please it.

  With his dick fully in my mouth, I look up at him. I reach up and run my nails along his chest. I notice how my left hand looks with the engagement ring on: so delicate and feminine.

  I pull back down and use that hand to stroke his shaft while I suck the head. He is throbbing. I can tell if I work it any harder, any faster, he will come.

  I pull back. My saliva drips from my mouth onto my chin. I wipe it and see that his cock is glistening. I want it inside of me.

  We got tested together right after we moved in. No need for him to sheath his manhood anymore. I can take him bare. That spit on his cock will act as lubrication. I turn and bend over on the chair. He gets behind me. I reach back, use my left hand to guide him forward.

  I take a deep breath. He is so big that every time we have sex I have to relax to take him. He was gifted with a tool for pleasure and I want to feel his entire length. His cock slowly slides into my pussy.

  I can tell as every inch goes in. Once inside, I take a deep breath. My own wetness combined with the spit is enough that as he starts to fuck me, I feel his cock go in and out in pure pleasure.

  “This is so hot, when I’m inside you, fucking you raw,” Devon says.

  “I love feeling every inch of your naked cock in my pussy,” I tell him.

  Dirty talk has now become second nature for us. It adds an extra level of excitement to our already hot sexual sessions.

  After he fucks me on the chair, we go to the bedroom. I lead him there by my left hand, reminded again that I am his now and forever.

  Our bedroom has a lived-in feel to it. It’s a combination of the sensibilities I’ve picked up via my real estate work and Devon’s outdoor lifestyle.

  Our California King bed has a rustic feel to it. The color scheme incorporates haven tobacco and greys. It feels cozy, yet also like a place washed over in a sense of adventure. A feeling of possibility.

  I lie back on the bed. He grabs my ankles, spreads my legs, and pushes them back. He is on top of me now and enters me with his raging cock. We are both close to coming but I also know we both want to make the moment last.

  He lowers himself down to where his chest is against my tits. We wrap our arms around each other and kiss madly while we fuck.

  “You’re my good little fiancée but you’re also my dirty little slut in bed, aren’t you?” Devon asks.

  “Yes, and you like to fuck me with your big cock whenever you want,” I tell him.

  “I sure do.”

  I am his fiancée now. The ring around my finger is a reminder of that. His cock, deep within me, is a reminder of a primal duty and need. It awakens something in me. At that moment I move my hands down to his ass and pull him closer than we’ve ever been before.

  I can hear his grunts over my moans. He is close. My pussy aches for release. I know after coming he will pull out and I will quiver all over. I want that feeling. I need that feeling. I push for that feeling.

  Our breathing increases. He smiles, kisses me, leans back and holds my ankles, spreading my legs wider. As his thrusts, my tits bounce back and forth. It feels like this is the deepest he has ever been inside of me.

  I rub my hand on my clit, masturbating furiously. He fucks me faster and harder. Our bodies slapping against each other in a rhythmic motion. I am close. He is close. At the same moment we both release our energy. Me, outward. Him, in me. I feel the rush of his cum fill me.

  In this moment we are one.

  He pulls out, his breathing heavy. His cum runs out of my pussy and reminds me once again that he continually claims me and I’m his for good.

  I sit up, my body almost humming with pleasurable feelings. He puts his hands on his hips, almost as if to hold himself up. He then inches forward and moves me to the side to cradle me from behind.

  He kisses my neck and then I turn to face him.

  We kiss.

  He looks at me, his eyes clear and shining. As if he was sent from above just for me.

  “I love you,” I say. “I can’t wait for you to be my husband. And Alice’s dad.”

  “I love you, too,” Devon says. “And I can’t wait to gladly accept that honor.”

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  Cassie

  When I was a little girl, I had dreams of the perfect wedding. It would be a glorious day in the upper 70s, without a cloud in the sky.

  Friends and family gathered to celebrate. Everyone dressed in the finest clothes.

  My fiancé all smiles, looking dapper in his tuxedo. My dress a mixture of charmeuse, chiffon, satin and lace. Delicate gloves, silver and white heels, a diamond necklace accenting my bodice neckline. Ribbons in my hair and glitter everywhere, impossible to get out, but why would you want to?

  But doesn’t every young lady have that fantasy in her mind? We play dress-up and populate our dollhouses with Barbies and Kens. We put them in clothes and drive them around in a plastic car imagining it’s a black open-top limousine with “Just Married” on the back.

  And then the dollhouse becomes a family home. Barbie and Ken become parents with responsibilities. We get the Play-Doh Kitchen set and an Easy-Bake Oven. From a very young age we’re drawn to this idea of domestic bliss. And we mimic what we see growing up around us.

  Alice never had the chance to do those things, really. Not yet, at least. Her life has been informed by me doing my best keep it together. When money was running low, I’d play games with food.

  I’d put saltine crackers on a plate and pour over a mix of tomato soup and cheese sauce and call them Blushing Bunnies. We even ate ramen noodles once, or Alice tried to. I could tell she knew they aren’t very good for you.

  Daniel left us all alone to fend for ourselves. And it was the toughest thing I had to do. But we got through it. Now, here we are at long last. I’m marrying the man of my dreams and we are becoming a new family.

  It’s even better than the wedding of my fantasies. And even better, it’s the real thing.

  Today, Alice looks so beautiful in her flower girl outfit. She spins and plays with her skirt — dancing by herself in a game of her own. I keep thinking we should give her a brother or sister one day soon.

  I don’t want her to be single child. She needs to learn to love and to care for another. To have that connection.

  My own mother is here, but we aren’t as close to each other as I would like. Maybe that will change now. I never let on to her to just how close I was to the edge. How I was teetering on collapse.

  I felt I needed to hold it all together and put on a good outside front and not let her worry. You can’t really be close to someone when you’re fake like that. But it was the only way I knew how to survive.

  But those days on the verge of bankruptcy seem like a distant memory now. I don’t have anything to be fake about, because I’m genuinely happy.

  My job is still going well. Commissions are up. And Devon just got promoted at the investment firm. He made a stunning run of productivity and increased earnings.

  Some jealous people were acting like there had to be favoritism or even shady ways, for him to do so well. But of course there wasn’t. And it’s not a mystery as to how he did it. It’s the same way he reads books to Cassie with such vocal talent and charisma: he was born with the ability.

  We went through a lot before finding each other again. The first time was just a fleeting kiss in high school. And we went through so much more when we battled to dis
cover that we truly are meant for each other.

  That’s what makes this wedding so extra special: we struggled to get here. We earned this moment.

  We didn’t see each other this morning. There is a superstition about not seeing the bride before the wedding. It’s bad luck. Maybe there is something to it. Best to just accept it might be a reality and just go with it as a tradition.

  I think it’s more that not seeing each other beforehand builds anticipation. Not seeing each other is a reset of sorts. A fresh slate, if you will. You wait to meet at the altar. To exchange our nuptial vows.

  I wish my father was here to walk me down the aisle. But he passed away and is with me only in spirit. I have a small photo of him in a frame hanging from the bouquet I’m carrying. That way he can “see” me get married and I know I’m carrying him with me always.

  Instead, Devon’s dad does the honors. His parents are back from their world tour. They’re glad to see that Devon has fully recuperated and that he’s found love.

  They remember me vaguely from my youth, since I lived down the street, but moreover, they see how happy Devon is with Alice and me, and that makes them happy. They have welcomed me into their family in a great way.

  After the ceremony, we ride out in a black limousine. Just as I had imagined it as a little girl.

  The bells at the church ring out. I lean into Devon to feel him close. I pinch myself, and thinking, oh yes, this is real. We kiss and turn to wave back at the crowd of well-wishers.

  Then we head to the reception. Since the weather is nice, we can still hold the event outside. There are round tables complete with nice arrangements of flowers and appetizers. The dance floor in front of the stage is fun and vibrant.

  The DJ plays 90s music, our favorite. Although we grew up in the 00s and 10s, there is something about the decade of the 90s that makes us feel confident and free.

  Charles, as the best man, stands to give a toast. Of course – since he’s so good at them.