I Hate You, Love Me

by Jamie Knight

  “Oh child, I already knew that,” he says though chuckles. “I wasn’t fooled for a second. It was quite obvious to me what had happened. Of course, Arron, Collin and the others have never been that astute.”

  “I’m so sorry, Grandpa Morgan!” I cry out.

  He laughs a little more and waves a hand at me. “Don’t be, my dear,” he says. “While your engagement might be fake, the love between you and Brent is real. I think he fell for you the first day he met you. He just needed a push in the right direction to fully realize it.”

  My breath catches in my chest. What? He thinks Brent loves me and always has! From the first day he met me?! The day I was covered in cake?! That can’t be true.

  “You think so?” I ask with tears in my eyes.

  “I know so,” he says and give me a wink. “He’s told me so many stories about you. He told me about the cake you made, the time you broke his nose playing baseball, when he snuck you and your brother out to go to the country fair. He was so excited and proud when you got accepted to Pacific Day. He called me right away to tell me, when Robert told him. In fact, Brent’s told me so much about you, that I felt like you were my granddaughter before I even met you.”

  I’m speechless and I sit there with my mouth hanging open.

  “And I knew that he loved you,” Grandpa continues. “Even though Brent didn’t know himself. You should see how he lights up when he talks about you.” He reaches over and gently puts his hand to my cheek. “So, don’t worry about this fake fiancée thing. Besides, there’s another thing that is fake.”

  “What’s that?” I ask, putting my hand on top of his.

  “This contest,” he whispers with a laugh. “It’s a total sham. A big practical joke. I concocted it with the hope that Brent would turn to you and you two would get together. So, in a way, I won.” He pulls his hand back and points to himself. “Ironic, no?” He gives me a big grin.

  I find myself echoing his big grin. What a cunning and caring old man! I just can’t believe it.

  “I think the cousins will be quite perturbed by this news,” I tell him.

  “Oh, they will be fine,” he says with a snort. “Just don’t tell anyone yet. I left everyone in the will. I want it to be a surprise. They won’t be left out, as much as I’d like to sometimes. They are precarious, impractical young men. But at their heart they are good. You have probably seen that by now.”

  “Yes, I have,” I confirm.

  “Good, let’s just keep this as our little secret.” He smiles at me and reaches for my hand again. I take his frail hand in both of my own and rub it gently.

  “Do you love Brent?” he asks very seriously. “I hope that I have brought you joy as well as him.”

  I look into the old man’s green eyes, so similar to his grandson’s. I want to be completely honest with him. I have to be. My heart swells, it knows the truth. Despite all my worries and fears, my heart has guided me back to Brent each time I wanted to give up.

  “Yes, I love him,” I say, knowing that it is true. “I really do. It took me a long time to realize that and I tried to pull away, but I can’t. I love Brent with all my heart.”

  Grandpa Morgan’s smile is a thing of beauty. A few tears of joy run down his noble face. “Then hang onto that love, my dear,” he says. “Brent will eventually marry you. If not this year, then the next or soon after. I don’t want you to ever think you aren’t good enough for him, either. You two are made for each other. Just stay the course. Can you promise me that?”

  “Yes, Grandpa Morgan,” I say nodding, still holding his hand in mine.

  “Good girl,” he says with a smile. “Now, I have to get some rest. Go join the others. Be young and live your life. Enjoy every moment, for they pass by so fast.”

  “I will,” I tell him.

  He squeezes my hand and smiles at me one more time. I brush away a tear and smile back. He turns his head and starts to drift off to sleep. Quietly, I walk back the way I came, through the door and back down the stairs.

  My mind is running a mile a minute. Could everything Grandpa Morgan said be true? Does Brent really love me? Has he loved me ever since he met me back on my parent’s porch way back then? I want it to be true. But then I think of all the times he’s laughed at me and doubt starts to sink into my heart.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Brent

  Grandpa Morgan passed away last night with a smile on his face. It was tough to see him go, but I was glad I was here by his side. The whole family was. Grandpa looked over all of us proudly, took a breath, closed his eyes, and was gone. It was tough, but I had Lindsay to hold me and comfort me through the pain of his loss.

  It was also tough to sleep last night. I just held Lindsay close, burying my face into her hair and breathing in her sweet scent. I don’t know how I would have gotten through the night alone. She was a real blessing to me.

  Today, the Morgan’s go back to business. It’s too quick for me. My heart still hurts so bad I can hardly breath, but the rest of my family wants to sink back into their normal lives and talk about money. Maybe this is the only way they can deal with their emotions. Grandpa taught me not to judge, but it’s hard sometimes, especially with my own family.

  The family has gathered in the estate’s library. We are waiting for the lawyer to arrive to read the will. There is quite a bit of tension in the air, as there is indeed quite a bit of money at stake. But I don’t care about that anymore. I just want to make things right with Lindsay and Robert. I need my friend back and I want Lindsay to be happy. I don’t want her to be stressed anymore by having to pretend to be my fiancée. It’s time for this all to end.

  The lawyer shows up and everyone waits impatiently for him to enter the house and make his way into the library. No one is speaking at all, feet are shuffling, and hands are in pockets. Even phones are put away. You can hear people breathing and a few snorts and sniffles. There is an air of anxiousness and a slight tinge of acrimony. I am sure Grandpa is laughing somewhere from above at this scene.

  The lawyer finds his way to the podium that has been set up for him to speak. He takes some papers out of his briefcase and surveys the room. He lets out a warm smile, which is odd considering the severity of the outcome. This is a winner-take-all situation. If people could get away with it, fistfights might break out.

  “Will everyone please sit and relax,” the lawyer says.

  “I prefer to stand,” Arron responds, his arms crossed over his chest. Collin is standing beside him.

  “Very well,” the lawyer says. “Let me just start by saying it has been a privilege to be Mr. Morgan’s personal attorney for all of these years. His passing wasn’t just a business matter to me, but a personal one.”

  “Who gets the money?” Collin blurts out.

  The lawyer frowns. “I will announce that now, if you don’t mind refraining from saying anything more until after I’m finished,” he says rather diplomatically considering the rude outburst.

  “Sorry, we’re all just a little on edge,” Collin says.

  “I can understand that,” the lawyer replies. “There was a contest to determine the recipient of the estate, if I am not mistaken. I am happy to inform you that winner is…”

  Everyone leans in to hear who will take home the prize.

  “No one,” he says.

  The crowd lets out a collective gasp.

  “What do you mean?” Arron demands, his hands are balled into fists and I’m starting to wonder if I will have to protect the lawyer from my angry cousins.

  “I mean that there is no one winner of the contest,” the lawyer explains. “In fact, the whole thing was fake. Mr. Morgan was playing a practical joke on you. One last hurrah, as he might say.”

  What?! I turn to Lindsay feeling totally shocked, but she doesn’t look upset or mad or surprised at all. Curious.

  She gives me an awkward smile and turns to look at her hands in her lap.

  “What? Wait…So, who gets the money?” Coll
ins asks in a confused tone.

  “You all do,” the lawyer says. “The estate and all of Mr. Morgan’s holdings are to be divided evenly amongst the family.”

  There are nods of approval and a few cheers. The lawyer starts going into specifics, reading off exactly what every person in the family will get. But I don’t hear him. I am still stunned. I can’t believe Grandpa played one last joke on us. He challenged us and pitted us against each other. But for what reason?

  Even worse, I made Lindsay go through this whole ordeal for no reason whatsoever. She should be beyond upset with me. She’ll join Robert in leaving me all alone with no one but my cousins to talk to. I feel my heart clench in my chest, and I don’t know what to do. How can I possibly make this up to her?

  After the lawyer finishes reading the will, he has paperwork for everyone to sign. People line up, and rather than wait, I step out into the hallway for a moment to gather my thoughts. Arron and Collin follow me out there.

  “Hey cousin, apparently we’re all winners,” Arron says, clapping me on the back.

  “Yeah, and none of us had to get engaged,” Collin says. “It was all just another game to the old man.”

  “Think it’s time to celebrate. Maybe grab some beers?” Arron suggests.

  “You kind of proposed for nothing,” Collin says. “Has to feel a bit silly, right?”

  “Yeah, silly,” I admit quietly under my breath.

  “Where is your bride-to-be?” Arron asks.

  I suddenly realize Lindsay has wandered off. I haven’t seen her since everyone started to fill out paperwork. I was so wrapped up in my own thoughts that I lost track of her. What an idiot I am. I have to find her.

  “Excuse me, I’m going to go find her,” I tell them.

  “Hey, wasn’t there some movie called ‘Runaway Bride’?” Arron calls out to me as I make haste to look for her.

  Both of my cousins laugh, but I ignore them. I have to get to Lindsay and apologize. I need to find a way to make this up to her.

  I run to our shared room but she’s not there. She’s not in the kitchen or downstairs in any of the bathrooms. I start to panic, worried that she’s left the estate, but there are still a lot of places to check. Running down the third-floor hallway, I catch sight of her standing on one of the balconies. It’s the balcony where we stood outside in the cold under the light of the moon. When I arrive there, she is leaning against the stone railing surveying the grounds.

  “Lindsay…” I say in almost a whisper.

  “Yes, Brent,” she says rather coldly without turning around to look at me. “I’m here.”

  I approach her slowly, staring at the way her shoulders are hunched. She must be so mad.

  “I am so sorry,” I tell her. “I have been such an idiot about the contest. And now, well, it wasn’t even real.”

  She turns around. I have never seen her look more distant. Her deep-brown eyes glance into mine for a second but then she looks away, wrapping her arms around her chest.

  “I’m not upset,” she says in a matter-of-fact manner. “I’m willing to give up the hoax and move back into my own place. You don’t need to see me again or pretend to love me.”

  “Okay,” I say feeling uncertain. “If that is what you feel is best for you. I will respect your decision.”

  If this is what she wants I will support whatever she chooses to do. She has earned that right. She has done nothing but go above and beyond to help me win the contest, and now that all turned out to be a big sham. Well, what reason does she have to stay?

  Keeping her back to me, she nods.

  “I will call a taxi and go back to the apartment to pack my things,” she tells me.

  “Okay.”

  I don’t know what else to say.

  She walks inside and down the hallway, taking out her phone to ring a cab company. I watch her go, unsure what to do. I still can’t believe that this whole thing has been for nothing.

  I go into Grandpa’s old office and sit in his chair. I am hoping being in a place he made so many important decisions I find the strength to make one of my own.

  I should probably tell my family the whole engagement was a lie. I will suffer more indignation and humiliation, but I suppose I have it coming to me. I wanted to win so bad I was willing to do whatever it took. And now I feel like the biggest loser on the planet.

  Gently, I run my hands over Grandpa’s things, his pens and papers, an old photo of my grandmother holding one of my uncles when he was a baby, and a picture of Grandpa and Grandma on their wedding day. My hand lingers on that one and I pick it up. They both have such big smiles on their faces. They look so happy.

  And then I realize something, I want to see Lindsay smile on our wedding day. I don’t want her to go. I love her! I probably have since the day the I met her. My heart aches thinking of her walking out that door. My body aches with the thought of not being able to touch her or make love to her again. I need her in my life! I want her in my life!

  I don’t want to give up on this engagement. It might have started off as a ruse, but it should now be made real. I want Lindsay to be with me always and forever. I need to stop her before she gets in that cab!

  I’ve lost track of time again. I jump out of the chair and run to the window. The cab is coming up the driveway and Lindsay is walking outside with her bags to meet it.

  I have to run.

  I have to stop her.

  Taking the stairs two at a time, I push by my family members. I shove my cousins out of the way, never slowing down. There is no time to spare. I burst through the front doors just in time to stop her before she gets in.

  “Lindsay!” I scream out.

  She says something to the cab driver and turns to face me. I run up to her and stop a few feet away in front of her.

  “Lindsay,” I say somewhat out of breath. “Don’t go.”

  “What? But I thought this was over,” she says.

  “I don’t want it to be over,” I tell her.

  I almost reach out to her but drop my hand quickly.

  “What do you want, Brent?” she asks in a whisper.

  I know now more than ever exactly what I want. More importantly, I know who I want. After crossing the last few feet between us, I get down on one knee, take her hand, and look up at her. I have never been so sure of anything before in my entire life.

  “Lindsay Miller, will you marry me?” I ask. “And for real this time.”

  She tears up and laughs a little at the same time.

  “Yes,” she says with a giggle. “And for real this time.”

  Epilogue

  Lindsay

  It’s June and our wedding day is finally here. We decided to have the event at the Morgan family mansion. It is only fitting, as Grandpa Morgan is the one who brought Brent and I together. And although he is not here in person, he is here in spirit.

  I will never forget his kindness. He was the one person who never judged me for being poor. I was always someone of worth in his eyes. And although I only knew him for just a short time, his influence on me will stay with me forever.

  The wedding dress I chose is a long gown with a train and Chantilly lace accents. It’s the kind that you see in fairy tales. It is backless with rose appliqués on the sheer elements. The veil is long princess silk covered in floral embroidery done by hand. And I really do feel like royalty wearing it. Today I am one of those princesses I saw in my favorite animated films.

  Tina, who helped me plan my wedding, is also my maid of honor. She’s getting married in a few months herself. Sarah is one of my bridesmaids. They attend to me and help me get ready.

  “This is going to be the best day ever!” Sarah says.

  “It will be,” Tina agrees. “I am so happy for you, Lindsay.”

  “Thank you both very much,” I say. “I better not start crying though. I’ll ruin the makeup you did Sarah. Where did you learn to do it so well?”

  “I grew up with five sisters,” she says. “
We were always competing against each other. Makeup sort of became a survival skill.”

  “I can barely apply mascara,” Tina says with a laugh.

  “Oh gosh, don’t make me smile,” I say. “That will ruin it too.”

  I do start to giggle and that causes Sarah to join in the merriment. I have to take deep breaths as not to go into a fit of laughter. I’m just so excited and happy for today.

  “Okay, I’m good,” I say. “I want to see how I look in the full-length mirror.”

  They help me stand up and hold the train of the dress as I walk over in my white heels to the mirror. I stand before it and I really do want to cry. Just a few years ago this very same girl wore a second-hand dress that had been hand-repaired, stitched and patched up just to stay wearable. Now I have on a wedding gown which probably costs more than a car. I’ve really have come a long way.

  It’s time to go outside to the where the ceremony will take place. I haven’t seen Brent since yesterday, as is the custom. I know he will look handsome in his tuxedo. I am so fortunate to be marrying such a wonderful man.

  Brent and Robert made up soon after he proposed to me. They worked out their differences and are now better friends than ever before. Robert agreed to be Brent’s best man. The bachelor party was a wild one, I heard. Arron and Collin were in rare form, I was told. But all-in-all it turned out to be good fun.

  I still have some awkward interactions with Brent’s family, but I don’t let it get to me. I know many of them will never accept me as an equal. But that’s on them, not on me. That’s another thing I took from Grandpa Morgan, the ability to not focus on the problems other people have with you, just pay attention to what you can do to make your life and the lives of the ones you care for better.

  My dad meets me at the start of the aisle. He looks very dapper in his suit. Brent offered to pay for a new one, but my dad wouldn’t have it. He worked out and got into shape so he could fit into the suit he married my mother in.