Wanting So Bad, Loving So Good

by Bella Bentley

  Damn it, McKenzie. Stop thinking so damn much!

  I leaned my head back again and sighed. I closed my eyes and suddenly jumped at Kyle’s laughter.

  “Woman, what is wrong here?” He laughed and sat down in his slacks and a soft cotton shirt. He was barefoot.

  “I thought you had a phone call? Do you really want to know?” I wined. “Or should we just keep things light. Keep things simple.”

  “It got cut short. Oh, I want to complex things up a whole lot.” He dragged my chair to his and wrapped his strong large hands around my bare ankles. I looked around to see if any of the staff bothered to watch.

  He began kissing my neck. “Tell me, kitten. Why is a beautiful woman like you, while she’s in paradise, with an entire villa and staff at her disposal—why is she in such distress and look like she’s having a breakdown.” He nestled his hot lips against my neck.

  It was so hard to think with him doing that.

  “I don’t know if you’ll understand. You have it so easy. And I don’t mean your income.”

  “Do I?”

  He began unbuttoning a few buttons of my dress as his tongue trailed along my collarbone.

  Jeeze he was like the never ending energized Trojan horse! His hand freely cupped me as his thumb and pointer squeezed my nipple and I squirmed trying to stay focused yet I felt my tension begin to lift at his touch.

  “Yeah....” I trailed.

  “What else?”

  “It’s just—” His lips found my bare nipple as his hand rested on my hip, his thumb grazing the satin covering my pulsating mound.

  “You....”

  The wicker furniture made a small squeak as he leaned me back on the pillows filled with down material. I was once again rendered speechless and my head spun as his body silenced all thoughts and all I realized that what I needed was him right then.

  He turned on a whole another switch in me. He made me feel so damn good that it felt illegal. He always, always, made me feel good and my frustration that I felt earlier just turned into ammunition to make him feel good. To make him feel just as crazy as he made me.

  I reached for his thick, throbbing gorgeous Johnson and ordered him to lean back.

  I freed his eager hard shaft and wrapped my hand hard around the top and made a small intent pump as my hot eager mouth took all of him until I reached the very bottom of the base. He instantly moaned and I felt like a million dollars. This turned me on like crazy.

  I continued this as I occasionally twirled my tongue around his head, tasting the sweetness of his pre-cum, until finally he picked me up and wrapped me around his waist. He was so strong, his hands cupped my ass cheeks and placed me on top of the white wooden rail. It was the perfect height for him to enter me and for me to face him and look into his magical eyes.

  As he began railing into me, he stimulated my swollen clitoris with his skilled pointer again touching me, caressing me, touching, caressing and it was as if the world went still. Fireworks went off and he and I made sense. Perfect sense. Why would I ever want to leave something so good? Making love so good?

  Our bodies took over and went to another level of love-making. I clenched my walls around his hardened shaft and we both cried out together with the loyal waves merrily cheering us on.

  With each drive, he whispered to me. “This is what living is all about. I want you in my life for more than just a weekend.”

  His driving became more intense, deeper, smoother, harder.

  “Say it.”

  I cried out.

  “Say you’ll stay more than just a weekend.”

  I cried out as my orgasm rose higher and higher and I collapsed against his chest as he found his own release.

  “Come on. Let’s get in the water and rinse.”

  “In the nude?”

  “In the nude. Come on.”

  “But it’s in the middle of the day! Won’t someone see?” I looked around in paranoia.

  “So what?”

  He ran out into the water butt naked and I couldn’t help but to just laugh at his toned round butt cheeks.

  “I own acres and acres. No one will see. Come on.”

  I looked around the place and felt like we were on our own deserted island. It felt like a fairy tale.

  I waded to him in the warm water exhausted from my orgasms but invigorated by being naked, free. And with him. My body longed for him again. The water was pleasant tickling my ankles. As I waded out to him, the waves carried me closer to him in speed.

  “Now, what were you saying earlier?” He carried me like a baby in his arms and my arms fastened around his neck.

  “Oh...well, everything definitely is put into perspective after that. It’s like a good therapy session.”

  “Well, my dear. It’s just what the doctor ordered.”

  “I’ll say.”

  He reached for my hand and laid it on his side. His deep trusting eyes searched mine and I held his gaze wondering if I could find secrets about him if I stared at them long enough.

  “That’s why I want to keep you here with me, for a long, long time. I want to take care of you. I want to see you free like this.”

  I let out a soft laugh. “For a long time.”

  He studied me. “What?”

  I shook my head and my smile stayed for a bit before it collapsed under the weight of my busy thoughts.

  “What?” He asked more empathically.

  I groaned and rolled on my back letting the water kiss my back and lifted my hands above my head. My breasts felt the warm breeze and they hardened. His fingers trailed them as they also played with the water.

  “Kenzy, what in the world is it? Do you not like being here with me?”

  I groaned again and he dipped me a bit and water went into my face and I couldn’t help but laugh and splash water back at him.

  “I....”

  I couldn’t speak. I didn’t exactly know what to say. I knew we had this pull. This connection. But I wasn’t that girl who abandoned her responsibilities because a handsome face asked her to. Okay, a god-like damn, handsome face. I was conflicted. His puppy dog eyes patiently studied mine and searched for clues on my face. A few moments of silence passed between us while we floated in paradise.

  “What?” I finally sighed.

  “You know you’re turning me on with sighs like that.”

  I smiled.

  “What? Are you working for the CIA? Are you one of those sexy spies?”

  I shook my head and bit my lip no.

  “You’re not? But I adore the role play.” His fingers trailed my arm. “You’re an alien.”

  “No.”

  “You hate me.”

  “No!”

  “You’re really a man.”

  “No!” I playfully pushed him.

  “Then what? I’m an open book. We have all the time in the world. No where to go. No where to be. Just here, you and me. So talk to me baby.”

  I sighed again and looked into his eyes. His tanned skin glowed beautifully in the aqua water.

  “You can trust me.”

  He squeezed my hand. I felt like I could. Heck, I’d never ever done this before with a man. Never just slept with someone like I did with him.

  “The truth is,” I started. Don’t come on so strong. Don’t be emotional. Keep it simple. But sex isn’t simple. This is complicated.

  “I’m just...is this real?”

  A slight laugh escaped his lips. “Yes. We’re on earth. It’s 2013. I’m Kyle and the last time I checked you are McKenzie Kane.” He gave me a playful look and I just melted. Why was this so easy for him?

  Maybe tell him.

  “Okay...not everything is a fairytale fantasy. I learned that from an early age. Real life exists outside of this. This just doesn’t feel real. I’m sorry I’m having a really hard time with this all.”

  His eyes sparkled against the sky blue and all around all I could see was tranquil blue waters. He just stared at me with a serene look acr
oss his face.

  “Am I fucking things up by talking too much? Men say that about women, you know.” I laughed as I played with the water nervously. “But you asked....” I smiled sweetly and swallowed down the rising fear and panic of hoping I didn’t ruin everything.

  He shook his head with a firm no. “But that’s where you’re wrong, you see. Everything has an exception to the so-called rule. Why do I get the feeling that you have the philosophy that maybe in life you have to work hard for things for them to be enjoyed?”

  I shook my head, shrugged my shoulders and blinked back a few tears. That was precisely the way I felt.

  I opened my jaw to speak but couldn’t.

  “Oh Kenzy.” He kissed my nose and I closed my eyes and cuddled up to him more enjoying his naked body against mine.

  “You’re like a scared little kitten sometimes yet so brave.”

  I nodded my head.

  “It’s just what happens after this huh? You have your fun. You have your thrill. I have these incredible moments with you and then I’m left with the memories for the rest of my life. Everything comes at a price.”

  It was quiet between us and I was worried I said something to hurt him.

  He placed me down and my toes were squishy in the sand. He cupped my face.

  “Look at me. I’m here right now with you. Don’t worry about tomorrow. Tomorrow will take care of itself.”

  He was telling that to the wrong person. I didn’t want to ruin this. I’d have to work out these issues on my own. Privately. My analytical mind was a curse sometimes. And then on the next breath I blurted out, “I’m not one of those women whose eyes light up at money. I....” want to tell you I already am love-locked and forever screwed up if something goes haywire between us. I’m scared because I don’t know how to just relax and enjoy this all.

  “I know. I know all about you. That’s why I bid for you that night.”

  “You did?”

  “Without divulging too much of the club’s information because who knows, maybe you are a spy.” He winked.

  “I’m not!” My voice was winey and I smiled back.

  “But everyone is written up. I knew all about your conservative southern Baptist background. I knew your SAT scores as well as your BMI, if you’ve ever had braces, what type of birth control you’re on, which I have packed for you by the way, what your aspirations are. If you’re a gold digger. This is all highly looked into before a woman is chosen to be bid for like you were.”

  My heart beat a hundred miles an hour.

  “I even did some further research and read a few of your blog posts and saw your heart about wanting to help people in 3rd world countries. Which is why you want to be a surgeon, I read.”

  “That’s correct.”

  “But my question to you is, what if you didn’t have to be a surgeon to help those in need.”

  “I don’t see how I could.” I furrowed my brows and shook my head.

  “What if you had the means to help them in other ways. With money.”

  I shook my head. “Well, I don’t have that kind of money.”

  “You could.”

  I lay my hands lightly on top of the water and closed my eyes not wanting to spout out my frustration. I didn’t want to screw everything up. Men like him didn’t exist!

  “I have issues with making sure things work out just as I planned.” I blurted out.

  “It seem that we may have something in common, hence the reason I want you to stay with me. We all have issues.”

  “I like being in control. Staying in control.”

  “You seem able to lose control with me.”

  I blushed.

  “That’s different.”

  “I don’t think so.” He kissed the back of my hand. “I think I’m exactly what the doctor ordered for you. You need to relax, let loose and have fun.”

  “Oh do I?”

  “Yes,” He said matter-of-factly as his finger trailed down the center of my chest.

  “You need to throw caution to the wind and live.”

  “I do live.”

  “You follow rules. You follow carefully planned paths like a train on wooden railroad tracks.”

  “Why does it have to be wooden?”

  “Because this,” his hand reached for mine and I felt his harden Johnson hard like wood and I laugh.

  “Wow, you are a stallion.”

  “There’s something about me that I think you’ll find out being around me for more than twenty-four hours. I have a huge appetite.”

  Fire blazed in his eyes and I throbbed incredibly at the hot steamy words.

  “Which I think I’m ready for...what round would it be after our little pep talk here?” He winked. I instantly went wet for him.

  “Three.”

  He swirled me around in the water.

  “Have you ever wondered maybe if you went back to the place you traveled as a teenager that maybe you would see things in a different perspective?”

  I was quiet for a moment.

  “I don’t know.”

  “I think maybe. I think maybe you could come with me to one of my orphanages...”

  “You... you have orphanages?”

  “Uh huh.”

  Damn my need to pounce him and suck him dry escalated a thousand percent.

  He kissed my breasts, my lips and then took my hand and led me to the sand where the water gently visited and went back to the sea. That’s where he laid me down and headed south, where he made love to my queen v, for twenty something long, squirming, intoxicating minutes. Oh good heavens. I knew I was in trouble again.

  Chapter Seventeen

  For dinner, we were to have a six-course dinner served privately, of course, on a terrace. I was incredibly excited. My designer gowns, outfits, even lingerie had all been unpacked the moment we arrived to the villa.

  My jewelry hung beautifully across a glass table, sparkling here and hanging there over tens of hooks with mirrored nobs. I simply wouldn’t be able to wear everything in one week! But it sure was beautiful to look at. More dresses and more heels had arrived earlier in the day and I stood there having no clue what to wear.

  I was in my bra and panties combing out my freshly conditioned wet hair when a light knock sounded. I thought it was Kyle but then I noticed it was not. It was a thin man with brown styled shaggy hair, holding a hair dryer sporting thick glasses, “Oh honey, you are a ten.”

  I jumped ten feet in the air.

  “Oh, I’m sorry to scare you. You’re so cute!” he cooed. “Are you ready for me? I’m Logan, you’re humble stylist.” He said flamboyantly and dramatically and this caused me to instantly like him and laugh.

  Oh. I guess Kyle forgot to mention I had a personal hair stylist. Maybe he forgot that normal people didn’t have one. I looked at his pouch around his waist. He was also a makeup artist, I presumed by the many brushes that sat perched in his pouch. I wanted to snap a picture and send to Shelly right then and there. Maybe I would. She would just flip and curse me out no doubt.

  “Uh, sure. I’ll just grab a robe real quick.” I walked back into the elaborate white plush closet and found a pale pink lace robe that made me feel incredibly sexy, beautiful and like a Victoria Secret angel. I slid my feet in cozy slippers and slid back.

  Another knock was at the door.

  “Miss Kane, would you enjoy a cup of mid afternoon tea?” It was the butler.

  “Uh, actually. Yes. But, uh, coffee instead?” I asked kindly.

  Before the butler turned and walked away the stylist said, “Oh girl, have some bubbly. Let’s have a glass together and get to know each other.”

  I shrugged my shoulders.

  “Um...okay. Sure.”

  Moments later, there I sat sipping bubbly, talking loudly over the hair dryer, to the scene of candles lit throughout the entire bathroom set to roses. I was damn lucky and I knew it. This was a scene straight out of a movie.

  Two glasses later with Logan, and we were
laughing and gossiping about celebrities and for a moment, I felt like I was in Shelly’s company.

  “Ta da...”

  I looked at myself and I couldn’t believe the wonders his fingers managed to conjure up.

  I looked....

  Wow.

  He was a keeper.

  “You do amazing work, Logan.” I admired his work as the woman staring back at me looked back with grace, with an air of confidence, power, luxury. Her eyelids were painted dark shimmery black, sultry, yet blended perfectly. And those red lips were bold! I would have never thought to....

  “Oh honey, I have great hair and a gorgeous face to work with. It’s all you.” He said as he looked at me in the mirror.

  “Own it girl.” He said as he put his make up brushes and all the Velcro rollers into his bag while I kept looking at myself and touching my hair, dumbstruck by his magic. I looked like I could walk the runway of Miss USA pageant, but not in the overdone way. In the—I’m ready for the world to see me way. Damn he was good! I swallowed my excitement and couldn’t wait for Kyle to see me.

  “Ah, ah, ah,” he tisked his tongue. “The ladies need to be left alone.” He playfully put my hands on my lap.

  I laughed. “Okay....” A true, genuine smile gleamed at him. “Well, really, thank you.”

  “It’s my job honey.”

  As I stood in the closet admiring the incredible dresses, strong hands gripped my waist and I nearly peed in my pants.

  “Shit!” I cried out as I touched my skin, my heart was racing as his familiar boy-like laugh filled my ears.

  “You scared me.”

  “And you look ah-mazing. We may have to skip dinner.” He bit my shoulder playfully and spun me around and looked at me with hungry eyes. I could tell he fought back the urge to ravage me. He had those eyes.

  He swallowed hard and fingered his collar. He cleared his throat as he reached past me for a plunging black dress that hung like a picture on a satin padded hanger. The front plunged down to the waist where it elegantly meshed together with a gold brooch.

  I eyed the price tag that daintily hung and it read $8,743.00

  I shook my head in unbelief.

  “Wear this tonight. It will look perfect on you. Fit for a queen.”

  I smiled warmly and yet again, shyly.