Broken

by Alexis Noelle

  It takes everything in me to control myself. I ran as far and fast from that house as I could as soon as I turned eighteen. “I have already told you that I am not coming home, Mother.”

  I hear her sniffle, and I might feel bad if I didn’t know her game. “Don’t start the tears. I know as well as you do that they are fake. I will not be coming home.”

  She huffs. “I cannot keep making excuses as to why you are not here. This is starting to get ridiculous. We all just want you to come back. You are putting so much stress on this family.”

  I can’t help the laugh that escapes. “That’s probably because this is the first problem you can’t throw money at and make it go away. I need to go.” I hang up the phone before giving her a chance to respond.

  I force myself to take a few deep breaths before walking toward the bar and grabbing a seat at the end. I watch as Tracie shows Izzy all the stuff behind the bar. At least she’s back here and not up on the stage. There is no way I would be able to sit through that. She glances at me and catches me watching her. Immediately her entire body turns but since she has her hair up I can see her neck getting red.

  I affect her and it feels so good.

  Still I have to be careful. The club is full of brothers and I don’t want any of them to think there is something going on between us. Even if I wasn’t told to stay away from her I couldn’t claim her, not until I patch in. If one of these dicks wanted her they could take her and I couldn’t do shit about it. My body fills with tension as I imagine losing her to a brother.

  The club isn’t busy yet, so after Tracie walks away Izzy comes over to where I’m sitting. “Do you need a drink?” The red V-neck shirt she’s wearing hugs her chest; it has the name Ambrosia written across it in black script. I can’t see her denim skirt, but I know from seeing her earlier that her long legs look amazing in it.

  The best part is that she has no idea how sinful she looks. She’s pure and innocent. A blank slate and all I want to do is mark her up. That is exactly why I should stay away from her, why I’m fighting this goddamn internal battle to keep my hands to myself.

  “Yea, I’ll get an Irish Car Bomb.”

  Her eyes widen in panic. “I...um—”

  I knew she’d have no idea what that was and laugh as she starts frantically looking around for the cheat sheet Tracie has handed her. “I’m just messing with you. I’m not drinking.”

  Her eyes narrow at me. “Not nice.”

  “Never said I was.” I shrug.

  “Yea, well, I’ll remember that when you’re cold tonight and I don’t share any covers with you.” She sticks her tongue out at me and walks away.

  “Damn, Prospect, never thought I’d say I wish I had your job.” I turn to see Brick standing next to me. His eyes are glued to Izzy’s ass. “Sharing a bed with her is the best job in the club right now.”

  Yea, it wouldn’t matter ‘cause brainless dickheads aren’t her type.

  “You ever cop a feel?” His elbow nudges my arm.

  I fight the urge to throw my fist into his jaw for even talking about touching her. This is one of the hardest parts of my position. Taking all their shit and not reacting to it.

  “Come on, you can tell me. Any man with eyes would run a hand over that ass.” He laughs.

  I stand up but my hands remain clasped on the bar. Turning toward him, I try to take a calming breath and remind myself that giving him what he deserves will serve me a one-way ticket right out of this club. “I gotta take a leak. I’ll be back.” I walk to the back of the club and into the bathroom.

  Fucking get it together, Max.

  I walk back into the club and see Brick talking to Izzy. She’s laughing. This is going to be the hardest shit I have ever done. If she were mine, I wouldn’t care about him talking to her because he couldn’t touch her, but she isn’t. He can touch her if he wants, and I can’t do shit about it. I’m pretty sure the brothers got the same warning I did about her being off-limits till Pres figures out who she is. It doesn’t ease my mind, though.

  All I can think about is ignoring what I was told, pulling her close to me and pressing my lips to hers. I’ve noticed how when I touch her she relaxes and it only strengthens my resolve.

  The lights go down for a minute as a song starts to play and one of the dancers walks out onto the stage. I don’t even glance at her. My eyes are on the girl behind the bar. The one whose eyes just got wide as she watches the stripper on the stage. Her curvy hips begin to sway from side to side as the music plays. I walk closer, sitting right in front of her.

  Izzy looks as she watches the dancer. “She’s really good.”

  “Yea, but she isn’t anything compared to the girl I’m lookin’ at.” I watch as the realization that I mean her sets in.

  “You know the yo-yo act isn’t fun. Why don’t you figure out if you like me or if you’re embarrassed by me? Until then just stay away from me.” She turns and walks away toward the rooms in the back.

  What the hell does she mean embarrassed of her?

  I’d be proud as hell to have the girl next to me if it was even a possibility right now.

  I need to find her.

  I check the stock rooms and don’t find her. When I walk toward the private rooms I pray she isn’t in one of those, but of course she is. Izzy is sitting on one of the velvet couches, her head in her hands like she has a headache. She looks up as I walk toward her.

  “I thought I told you to leave me alone,” her voice whispers.

  “Yea, problem is I have no idea what I did wrong.” I reach for her hand and pull her up so she’s standing in front of me. I have a good six inches on her, so I tilt her chin up with my thumb so I can see her face.

  “You act different when it’s just us. In the car you dropped my hand as soon as we parked so the girls didn’t see. You hid from Nikki in the bathroom ‘cause you didn’t want her to see us together.” She looks away from me.

  Shit.

  My hands find her hips as I lean down to whisper in her ear. “I’m not ashamed of you. I’m not allowed to fucking touch you and it’s killing me. Earlier I had to grip the edge of the bar when Brick was talking about you to keep myself from walking over to you and claiming you as mine. I want you every fucking second.”

  Voices outside the curtain make me freeze. I grab Izzy’s hand, pulling her behind the oversized column. There is just enough room behind it and the wall for us to hide. I can’t get caught back here with her, even though I have to admit being this close to her is exactly what I want.

  Footsteps sound and I hear giggling.

  “You gotta make this quick, darlin’, I’m supposed to be manning the front door.” A deep voice sounds, but I can’t figure out who it is.

  The sound of a zipper being undone fills the room, followed by the ripping of plastic. I look at Izzy, and she looks taken back by what she’s hearing. The girl moans and her chest takes a deep breath. My eyes are fixed on her lips. I’m so close to her, my hands braced on either side of her to keep my balance in the small space.

  The sound of skin slapping together and groans fill the small space. Her chest starts to move faster, each time brushing against mine. I study her flushed expression and slightly open lips. Is she getting turned on by this?

  I lean close to her. My breath hits her necks and I smile as goosebumps form over her skin. I place my lips against the skin under her ear and her hands grip the T-shirt I’m wearing.

  Izzy’s breathing quickens as the woman starts to scream.

  My one hand moves and twists her ponytail around it. I give it a slight tug, revealing more of her skin to me. Slowly I place a kiss on her neck, moving up toward her lips with each one. When I finally get to my target her tongue darts out, wetting her lips. I press against her lips soft at first, then the kiss transforms into a wildfire. I slide my tongue into her mouth, tasting her, teasing her, owning her.

  The man growls loudly. The sound of zippers being pulled up and clothing being shifted lets me k
now that they are leaving.

  I pull away from Izzy, using every ounce of control I have. Her lips are swollen and glistening. I want to dive back in, hold her tight to me and never leave this spot.

  Once I’m positive that the two of them have gone, I pull Izzy out from the column. Her chest is still rising and falling faster than normal. I need to get out of here before I can’t stop myself again.

  “You should get back out there before they come looking for you.”

  Her face falls as she turns to leave. I grab her arm and turn her back toward me.

  “If I could I would kiss you every second of the day. No one can know right now. I’d be out on my ass if they did. However, you can bet that as soon as I can call you mine I will. Once I can tell people, I’ll fucking write it in the sky. I want you, Izzy, all of you, all the time.”

  She smiles at me and leans in, placing a kiss on my cheek.

  I’m fucking screwed.

  Chapter Seven

  Izzy

  I open my eyes and freeze.

  I’m lying on top of Max. My leg is draped over his and my head is resting on his chest.

  How the hell did this happen?

  I slowly remove my body from his and pray that he doesn’t wake up and make this awkward.

  “Thought you’d never wake up,” his sleepy voice whispers.

  Damn.

  “Sorry about that.” I get out of bed and offer him a smile. He’s staring at me. His piercing eyes rake over my body in pajamas shorts and a T-shirt of his. “I grabbed your shirt last night because I was out of clothes to sleep in. I just have the nice stuff that the girls got me yesterday.”

  “Trust me when I say I’m definitely not mad about the way you look in my shirt.” He offers me a crooked smile. “Get dressed.” Max gets out of bed and starts to walk toward the bathroom.

  “Are we going somewhere?” I ask, wringing my hands nervously.

  “Yea, but if you don’t get my shirt off soon I might not be able to stop myself from taking it off for you.” The door closes behind him.

  I can feel my cheeks getting red, which he does a lot to me. He’s so straightforward, and sometimes I just don’t know how to take it. I take off my pajamas and put on one of the outfits I got yesterday. Moving still hurts, but the soreness has definitely faded. As I pull my hair into a ponytail I remember how Max had pulled on it last night. The way he pressed himself so close to me and how foreign it felt, but completely right at the same time. My hand traces over the space on my neck where his lips were last night.

  Considering I have no memories this was basically like my first kiss. It was everything that I think you could hope for. He was gentle, but I could feel the passion pouring out of him. When he told me that I was wrong and he wasn’t ashamed of me it quieted all the doubts in my head. I could barely focus on anything the rest of the night.

  Max sat at the end of the bar and kept eye on me all night. A few guys had tried to pick me up, but nothing that I couldn’t handle the way Tracie taught me. I open the makeup bag the girls gave me and pull out a tube of lipstick. It’s a deep red and will compliment the tan I have. At least that’s what they told me. As I twist the tube and the red stick emerges it hits me.

  Red.

  A red bike racing toward a destination.

  A sideways view of the bike as I’m lying on the cold ground.

  I gasp as a jolt of pain hits my forehead.

  The bathroom door opens and Max walks out. He grabs a new shirt and pulls the one he’s wearing off. I feel like I should tell him about what I remembered, but there really isn’t too much to tell. I saw a red bike. That could be a thousand different people. I decide for now to just keep it to myself. If I remember more than just a color I’ll tell him.

  “You okay?” He eyes me cautiously.

  “Yep, just having a moment.” I smile to try and ease his suspicions. My head still has a dull pain, but I try to push it away.

  “All right, well, let’s go do this thing.”

  “What thing?” I follow him toward the door.

  “The whole me risking my patch just to take you on a date.” He holds the door open for me.

  I stop in front of him. “I understood what you said last night. I don’t want you to chance not getting your patch because of me.”

  “That right there. It’s the reason I’m willing to.” His hand finds my lower back and he urges me forward.

  I’m a little confused as to what he means, but I walk with him. As I climb into the truck his hand stays on my back. He walks around, climbing in himself before pulling out of the parking lot. “Any clues as to where we are going?” I glance sideways at him.

  “Gonna grab some lunch, but outside of town. I don’t need to make it blatantly obvious that I’m ignoring a direct order.” He shakes his head as he reaches over to turn on the radio.

  I still can’t believe he was ordered not to touch me, and that he’s ignoring it. He just met me and he’s willing to risk something that’s important to him, for me. Not having any idea if I have family or people who love me is an overwhelming lonely feeling. When Max is around I don’t feel so alone. I feel like if I needed him all I would have to do is ask.

  A sight next to the car makes my heart stop.

  The red bike.

  The rider has a helmet on and seems innocent enough in a T-shirt and jeans. Just because he has a bike the same color as in my dream doesn’t mean anything. The vision of the bike sideways while I am lying on the ground comes back. It almost feels like I’m there.

  The cold dirt almost soothing the bruises I feel forming. I’m pressing my cheek into the ground after being struck by someone. A large booted foot kicks my stomach. I don’t see anything above me. I can see their feet, three sets of them. I swear if I concentrate I can hear the laughing.

  “Stupid whore.”

  Then they all laugh.

  I feel something on my leg and jump.

  Max is looking over at me, and I see that we’re in a parking lot. “You okay, Tramp?”

  I take a few deep breaths, almost needing to remind myself that they were just memories. “Yea, I guess I dozed off.” I try to convince him, hoping my voice doesn’t sound as shaky as it feels.

  “Okay, if I remember you slept perfectly.” He winks at me, and I remember waking up on his chest. “Let’s go get some food.”

  He gets out of the truck, walking over to my side. The door opens and he offers his hand to help me jump down. When I take it he gives me a small tug, and I ungracefully fall into his arms. Our bodies are pressed together, my face resting in the crook of his shoulder, and my hands gripping his sides.

  I pull my face back to look at him. His eyes are studying me like I’m the only thing he sees. Deciding to be brave, I move forward an inch, pressing our lips together. Max groans and takes a step forward, leaning me against the side of the car. His tongue pushes past my lips and I let a small moan slip out as he caresses my tongue with his. He tastes like peppermint. I drag my hands up till I’m gripping the back of his neck.

  Our connection is quickly broken. “You’re fucking dangerous. We need to go inside before I take you right here, and that’s not what I want to do.”

  I smile at his confession about me affecting him.

  He does the same for me. When we’re close I have an overwhelming need to touch him. There is a pull, a connection that was instantaneous between us. I remember feeling it that night as I stood outside his car. I never once looked at the girls in the backseat. My eyes were drawn to him. Without even knowing his name I found comfort in him when the President was questioning me.

  “And they say bikers are trouble. Women are trouble.” He laughs and grabs my hand.

  We walk into the restaurant that has a large neon sign stating that it’s a buffet. The hostess leads us to a red leather lined booth against the wall. I slide in and instead of sitting across from me he sits next to me.

  “I figured this place would be good, since you rea
lly don’t know much about what you like, and what you don’t. This way if you get something you don’t like, you can always grab something else.”

  My face breaks out into a smile that hurts my cheeks. He knew taking me to a normal restaurant might be overwhelming when I tried to order. I lay my head on his shoulder. “Thank you.”

  His hand gently rubs up and down my thigh.

  “Hey, y’all. What can I get ya to drink?” the waitress asks, and Max orders a couple sodas.

  Once she walks away, he turns to me. “Ready?”

  I nod and scoot out of the seat. I’m completely overwhelmed as I stand in front of four different rows of food. I’m trying to decide where to start when a voice sounds in my ear.

  “Just pick one. We can stay here till you try everything they have.”

  His breath tickles my neck and he places a kiss on my skin before leading me over to the first row. I take a little bit of everything and decide that I will probably leave here and need to be rolled to the car.

  When we go back to the table he still opts for the seat next to me and I give him a sideways look, surprised he doesn’t want his space.

  “What?”

  “I just thought you’d want your space to eat.” I shrug.

  “I can move if you want, but when we are in town we can’t be like this. I have to keep my distance, so I just figured I’d take advantage while I could.” He tilts his head to the side almost as if he’s asking me what I want him to do.

  I answer him by scooting a little closer to him, completely satisfied by his answer.

  We spend the next hour trying everything there is to eat. By the time I push the last plate away from me I’m so full it almost hurts to breathe. Max gets up but there is no way I can eat anything else.

  That is until he comes back with a huge slice of chocolate cake. It looks delicious. At the same time even thinking of taking another bite makes my stomach roll.

  Max scoops a huge spoonful. “I know you’re full, but you have to try their cake.”

  Giving in, I open my mouth, and he slowly slips the cake in. I moan as the heavenly taste settles in. My face heats as I realize I just made a sex noise for food. Max starts to laugh as he enjoys my embarrassment. That’s when an idea pops into my head. “Close your eyes,” I whisper to him.