Broken

by Alexis Noelle

  I walk through the door that Max is holding open for me.

  “Okay, that’s it,” his voice says from behind me. I turn around to face him. “What’s wrong? Ever since we left you’ve been off.”

  I shrug. “It’s stupid.”

  He walks closer to me, his hands clasping my face, and his lips dip down to meet mine. I wrap my arms around him. I missed him tonight even though most of the time he was right next to me. I hated having to pretend that I didn’t feel something for him.

  “It’s bothering you, which means it isn’t stupid. If you’re gonna be mine then I’m yours too. For this to work we can’t keep shit from each other. Secrets suffocate a relationship and they will suck the life out of it.” His lips kiss mine again. “Tell me what’s wrong.”

  I take a deep breath and push away from him. He sits down on the bed, but I can feel him watching me. “The girls were giving me a crash course on the club girls. I don’t know why, but it just upset me. I hate how they let themselves get used like that.”

  “Babe, that’s not how it is. Those girls are there because they want to be. They know what is expected of them if they’re at the club and they are willing participants. Not only that but the club takes care of them too.” His eyes trail over me as I lean back against the windowsill.

  Something in the parking lot catches my eye. A red bike.

  “Izzy?”

  I jump at the sound of his voice and stare at him. “What?” I look back at the parking lot and it’s gone. I’m losing it.

  “I said it seems like something else is wrong.”

  “It is.” My hand trails through my hair. “I have no idea if…” I shake my head.

  “If what?”

  I can feel my skin heating. “If I’ve ever had sex. Am I like those girls? Was I virgin? I have no idea.”

  Max starts to laugh, and I cover my face in complete embarrassment. After a minute I feel his hands on my hips. I open my eyes and his face is almost touching mine.

  “When I touch you can you feel it through your entire body? Does it make your hands fist because you need more than either of us is doing right now? Do your nerves scream when I drag my finger across your skin?” He does, and I break out in goosebumps.

  I nod, unable to say anything to him.

  “You have no worries about being a lesbian. Now the rest of the stuff? Who knows. We will figure it out, though, together.” He kisses me.

  “What was the fingerprinting about tonight? Do they know anything?”

  His face hardens. “I can’t talk about that with you. Right now, that’s club business. I’ll be able to tell you more tomorrow, but right now I just can’t.”

  “Didn’t you just say no secrets?” Anger starts to flow through me at this stupid double standard.

  “Yea, but you have to understand that club business doesn’t have a place in this relationship. It’s like that with every brother. You aren’t allowed to talk about it with your girl, ever.” His face is serious and I know that he won’t ever budge on this topic

  “Whatever.” I push away from the wall and him. I get what he’s saying, but that doesn’t mean I need to agree with it. I grab some pajamas and go into the bathroom to change. When I come out Max isn’t there. My eyes scan the room and a pang of sadness hits me knowing that he left.

  I switch off the lights and slip under the covers. Can I really be mad at him for not getting into the club stuff? I don’t know much about it, although I’m not sure that I want to. I hear the door open and Max walks in. I quickly shut my eyes and pretend to be asleep. It’s childish, I know that, but I don’t know how to deal with stuff like this. I don’t know how to function in a relationship. I feel like I’m so over my head in this whole thing.

  The bed dips and Max pulls me to his side. His lips press against my forehead and I can’t help the smile that comes.

  “Knew you weren’t asleep,” he whispers. “Good night.”

  He squeezes me and all the anxious feelings I have seem to subside for the moment.

  He takes it all away for me.

  ***

  A beeping wakes me up and then I catch the scent of something that is mouthwatering. I stretch, not feeling Max next to me anymore. When I sit up I see him standing at the microwave with his back to me.

  “Lie back down and close your eyes,” his voice demands.

  I lower myself slowly and smile as I close my eyes. The smell gets stronger and my stomach growls.

  “Wake up.” He gently shakes my shoulder, and I laugh because we both know I was already awake. When I open my eyes he is holding a plate with a few pancakes and some bacon.

  “It’s the best I could do with a microwave.” He shrugs as if he’s expecting me to tell him that I’m too good for his breakfast.

  I reach up and grab his neck, pulling him down to me and kissing him. “This is one of the nicest things anyone’s done for me.”

  “That’s just ‘cause you can’t remember anything.”

  I shove him. “Jerk. Are you gonna come eat with me?”

  His hands are in his pockets and he shifts from one foot to the other nervously. “I don’t know about that.” I cock my head to the side, completely confused as to why. “I can’t get into bed with you right now. Every time I’m near you all I want to do is touch you. I want to kiss you, claim you, make you understand what it feels like to be mine. I can’t. You aren’t ready for that.” His eyes stay locked on me. “It’s getting hard for me to be good around you.”

  I take a bite of the bacon, as seductively as possible when it comes to cooked meat.

  He’s fighting it, but soon he starts to laugh. Placing the plate on the nightstand, I curl my finger at him. “Come here.”

  He hesitates but only for a minute. When he walks over to the side of the bed my hands grab the T-shirt he is wearing. Every part of me is scared and excited all at the same time. As I pull him toward me he climbs onto the bed, hovering over me.

  “What are you doing, Izzy?” Max watches me, his eyes on fire.

  “I-I don’t know.” I lace my fingers through his hair, pulling his face close to mine. “I just know that I want to be close to you. I want to kiss you. I want you to hold me close because it’s the only time when I’m not constantly thinking about everything that’s wrong in my life, or unknown. I just want you.”

  His mouth crashes into mine and he steals the breath from my body. Being with Max makes me feel whole somehow like he is what I have always been missing.

  “I think I can make that happen,” he whispers as his lips press against my neck.

  We spend the rest of the day in bed, watching movies and talking. I asked him about his family once, but he froze and for a little bit things were awkward. It faded and I decided that was a topic I’d stay away from for the time being.

  We are looking at takeout menus to order dinner from when his phone rings. He jumps up to answer it, and I watch his face drop as he listens to whoever is on the other line. When he shoves it back in his pocket he seems angry.

  “We need to go. Get dressed.”

  “Why? Who was that?” I stand up.

  “Just get dressed.” He takes his bag out and starts to put all his clothes in it before doing the same to mine. I can only watch him, knowing whatever is going on can’t be good.

  “Talk to me.”

  “I can’t.” His voice is hard. “I just need you to get dressed.” He goes into the bathroom and comes out with handfuls of my toiletries.

  I grab the pants and shirt he left out and head into the bathroom.

  Who the hell could that have been on the phone and why would it make him act like that?

  Looking in the mirror, my eyes look watery.

  Suck it up.

  I walk out of the bathroom and right past him. If he is going to treat me like this then I certainly won’t be nice to him. The ride is just as awkward. Max hasn’t looked at me once. I want to ask him why, but he seems completely closed off.

 
Once we park at the clubhouse, he just sits there. “Are you gonna get out?” I look over at him.

  “You go. I’ll be there in a few minutes.”

  I let out a groan of frustration before jumping down from the truck and walking inside. Torch is standing there and looks behind me expectantly, waiting for Max.

  “He’s coming in a few minutes.” My voice is full of mockery.

  I hear the door open and know that it’s Max. Torch’s head bobs between the two of us before he laughs. “You’re fucked, Lady.” He walks away, and we follow him.

  I’m taken to the same room where they questioned me and Officer Murray took my fingerprints yesterday. Twisted is standing in the front of the room, his face completely unreadable. I sit down on the only chair near him.

  “Officer Murray called. He got a hit on your fingerprints. Brick ran your name, and we put all the pieces together,” he says and then looks up at me. “We know who you are.”

  I gasp, not expecting that.

  “You’re my sister.”

  Holy shit.

  Chapter Eleven

  Izzy

  I’m his sister?

  My brain is trying to find sense in all of this, but it can’t. I look over at Max, who isn’t making eye contact with me still. Did he know?

  “I’m sure you have questions, but I don’t know that I’ll have all the answers.” Twisted’s hand reaches up, rubbing the back of his neck. “Your name is Isabelle Pearce. You apparently were taken in for shoplifting when you were thirteen and that’s how we got your name. We are trying to find out some more information, but I don’t have too much right now.”

  I’m speechless. I’ve been looking for answers, wondering if I have a family. Now that I’m being told I do I’m not really sure how to feel. All I know of him is that he has seemed like he hated me these past few days. Now he’s my brother.

  “I know you probably need to let this sink in, and so do I. Now that we know who you are I want you to stay here. Prospect can show you to the room I had Nikki get ready for you. You don’t need to worry about any of the restrictions for now.” He takes a deep breath. “You’re family now. We take care of family.” He takes a step and then pauses in front of me, almost as if he’s going to say something else but decides against it. Giving a nod to Max and Torch, my brother walks out of the room.

  Brother.

  “Welcome to the family, Tramp,” Torch says. “Go and get her settled, Lady.”

  I look up at the men and then stand. I have no idea how to feel right now. I want to feel happy and excited, but I also feel like I’m the last thing Twisted wanted. Instead of this news making me happy, it’s only made me feel more lost.

  I walk to the door and follow behind Max. What does this mean for us? Twisted said I’m staying here now. I guess that means he isn’t staying with me. We climb a set of stairs and walk down a hallway before stopping in front of a door. When he opens it I see a large bed and a long dresser. I follow him in and shut the door behind me.

  Max sets my bag down on the bed before turning back to me. “Let me know if you need anything else.”

  He starts to move past me, but I grab his arm. “Why are you acting like this? Nothing has to change between us.”

  His eyes meet mine. “They do. You were off-limits before. Now…”

  I wrap my arms around him. The world I know right now has been completely turned upside down. I need him. I need the comfort he gives me. “Now, we will figure it out.”

  His arms wrap around me and I breathe a content sigh. A knock on the door makes both of us jump, and Max pushes away from me.

  When it pushes open Twisted is standing there. His eyes move between the two of us. “You have everything you need?”

  I nod. “The room is nice. Thank you.”

  “Okay, good. I’ll let you get settled then.” His eyes land on Max.

  “Yea, I’ll get outta here too.”

  The two men walk out the door, closing it behind them. I sit down on the bed, not really knowing what to do. Looking around the room, it’s nice, but I’d much rather be in the dingy motel room with Max. Finding out I have family and now was offered a home should have made me feel better, yet I feel more alone than I have since I woke up a few days ago.

  I can hear the engine of a bike rumbling. Walking to the window, I push the curtain to the side, my hand freezing.

  The red bike.

  I’m starting to feel like this means something, like someone is following me. Someone who was there that night. My eyes close and I can picture that bike in the field. I try to reassure myself that I’m at an MC and there are probably a bunch of these guys with red bikes, but as I look back at the bike a chill runs through my spine. The rider looks up and irrational as it is I feel like he is looking at me.

  The bike speeds onto the road and that’s when I notice that my window faces the back of the clubhouse. Whoever that was they were outside of the gates. I try to take a few calming breaths. I’m safe here.

  I lie down on the bed, needing my brain to shut off for a little bit. All I can think about is that damn bike, Max, and Twisted. I want to know how it’s possible that I’m his sister and he had no idea that I existed. My stomach growls and I remember that I skipped dinner. I decide to head downstairs and find something to eat.

  I find Lucy sitting in the kitchen eating a bowl of ice cream. “Hey, want some?”

  “No, thanks,” I say as I look through the fridge, finding some stuff to make a sandwich.

  “I heard about the test. You okay?” She hops off the counter and walks closer to me.

  I lay out everything I need in front of me before looking over at her. “I honestly don’t know. None of it makes sense. I just feel like everything is so messed up right now.” I start assembling my dinner.

  “What else is on your mind?”

  Looking over at her, I debate whether I can actually talk to her about this. Max said we couldn’t tell anyone. “If I tell you something, can it stay between us?”

  Her eyes widen. “Yea, you can trust me. I need you to know, though, that if it’s something that will put the club or any of us in danger I don’t know that I can.”

  “It’s nothing like that.” I take a bite of my food before turning toward her. “I have no idea about guys or relationships. Who knows if I’ve ever even been in one? I just need some advice, because I like Max.”

  She coughs, choking a bit on the bite she had in her mouth. “You like the prospect? Is it mutual? Has anything happened?”

  “It’s mutual. He told me that he wants to be with me. He said he isn’t allowed to be, though, that he isn’t allowed to touch me. I really like him, which is crazy because we haven’t even known each other more than a week. Since you found me that night I’ve been scared and confused, and the only thing that’s helped has been Max. He makes me feel better.” I shrug, knowing that it sounds crazy.

  “You heard anything about how I came to the club?”

  I shake my head.

  “I came here when I was fourteen. I was running from my family and I begged the club to help me. Whip ended up getting put in charge of watching over me, kinda like your situation. Only thing is he had that job for four years till I turned eighteen. He got the same warning from our Pres at the time and he followed it until about a week before I turned eighteen when he kissed me. By the time we were allowed to be together I already loved him. I can completely understand what you mean when you say that you feel an immediate connection with him. I had the same thing. I came here with a lot of issues and he was the only one who seemed to be able to calm the storm inside of me.” Her hand touches my arm. “Sometimes it isn’t the quantity of time you have with someone, but the quality of the person you’re spending it with.”

  “I don’t know what I’m supposed to do, though. When Twisted called us to come here it was like he shut down on me.”

  Lucy laughs. “That’s because he knew that they had figured something and that you would be fin
ding your own place here. Now you being Pres’s sister is gonna make it even harder for him to be with you. You don’t know T that well yet, but he is really protective of the people he cares about. You are going to be one of those people and Max knows that.”

  Twisted walks into the room and stop in his tracks when he sees Lucy and me. “Hey, I didn’t realize you guys were in here.” His hands tuck into his pockets as he looks everywhere but at me.

  “I was just leaving,” Lucy says before almost running out of the room. Traitor.

  Neither of us says anything for a couple of minutes. I eat my sandwich as he flips on the coffee machine and grabs a cup from the cupboard. “Is your room okay?”

  “Yea, it’s nice.” My hand nervously plays with my hair.

  “My sister Lizzie does that when she’s nervous.” His voice is softer than it’s been before when he has spoken to me. “I don’t know how I didn’t see it before. When you walked in that night you looked familiar, but I thought maybe I’d just seen you around at some point. I know that you probably have a ton of questions. I can try to answer what I can. There are still things we don’t know and I’m having Brick look into them. I know that when you got here you didn’t get a warm welcome.” He grimaces. “I want you to feel comfortable here. If you need anything don’t hesitate to ask.”

  “Thanks. I guess this will take some getting used to for all of us.”

  I feel like that was the understatement of the year.

  Chapter Twelve

  Max

  Walking into my apartment, I slam the door.

  When I walked out of her room tonight it almost felt like I was walking away from her.