Broken

by Alexis Noelle

  Pres stopped me in the hallway and shoved me against the wall.

  “I better not be seeing what the fuck I think I am. I told you when she first got here that she was off-limits. Now I better not even catch you lookin’ at her in any kind of way. You got me?”

  All I could do was nod. I didn’t want to lose Izzy. In the short time I’ve gotten to spend with her she has gotten to a part of me I haven’t let people into before. I don’t see a way to make it work, though. I could keep seeing her behind everyone’s back and risk getting kicked out of the club if I’m caught. I could say fuck it and toss the prospect cut at them, but then I’d never get close to her again anyway. Or I could wait and drive myself fucking crazy.

  If someone else claimed her before I patched in I don’t know what I’d do. It isn’t even something she’d have control of. A brother can stake his claim if the girl wants to be with him or not. He can make her untouchable whether it’s because he’s trying to keep her safe or waiting for her to come to her senses about him. Now that people are going to stop looking at her like she’s the enemy, they’re going see how amazing she is. Even being his sister, if she is at the club he can’t protect her from this life. This is the way things have been done since the club was started.

  Pres is holding a meeting for anyone associated with the club tomorrow. It isn’t church he wants everyone there; club girls, old ladies, prospects, which isn’t something that I’ve ever seen done. I lie down on my bed, hating how I have the urge to reach over and pull Izzy to me. She isn’t next to me anymore.

  ***

  Pulling up to the clubhouse, I’ve never seen it this crowded.

  People are standing in small groups whispering, most likely trying to figure out what is so big that this kind of meeting was called. I walk past everyone, anxious to get this over with and get out of here. I spent the night racking my brain, trying to figure out how all of this could work. Even if I were to go against his orders and start seeing Izzy, it wouldn’t work. I’d lose any chance at getting a patch and they would make sure I couldn’t get within a few feet of the clubhouse. There is no way that I could see this all working out for us.

  My sister, Mallory’s birthday is tonight and I have to go home. That by itself has me on edge. I left as soon as I could for a reason. That house, my parents, they’re suffocating, and I dread having to go back there. The only good thing is that it gives me an excuse to miss Izzy’s welcome party. The last thing I need to do is guard the door, or work the bar while all the brothers try their chance with her.

  The meeting is being held in the common room because it’s the only room big enough for everyone. My eyes drift to the second floor, knowing that she’s up there, just out of my reach. All of a sudden she opens her door and our eyes meet. As much as I should I can’t look away. She’s gorgeous and the pull I feel to her is almost painful. Staying seated here while all I want to do is run up to her and show everyone how I feel about her is killing me. I never believed in the instant connection crap that everyone talks about, until her.

  Twisted walks out of the room next to her and grabs her hand, leading her down the steps. They both look uncomfortable at the contact, their hands joined stiffly. Whispers sound around me because everyone knows who Twisted’s old lady is and it isn’t Izzy. They pause midway on the steps, and he whispers something in her ear. She nods as she scans the crowd of people but her eyes end on me. I take a deep breath, trying not to show how much she affects me.

  “Thank you all for coming down today,” Twisted says and the entire room hushes. “We have a new addition to our family. As unexpected as it is, I want you all to welcome her like you would anyone else. She is to be treated with respect the way you would an old lady. Brothers, I expect you fuckers to keep your shit in your pants. Club girls, don’t even think about any hazing shit or you will be out on your ass. This is Izzy, my sister.”

  Gasps and murmurs sound around me. Izzy is still watching me, almost like she is waiting for some reaction or something from me.

  “Today we will celebrate, and tonight we will fucking party!” Twisted says before walking the rest of the way down the stairs with Izzy. Everyone cheers and people move forward to greet her.

  I turn around, needing to get out of this place.

  Whip stops me. “Where are you going? Things are just getting started.”

  “I have the night off. It’s my sister’s birthday.” I pause in front of him, not trying to be rude.

  He cocks an eyebrow at me. “Sure that’s the only reason?”

  He couldn’t know. “Yep. See ya tomorrow.” I walk away, making sure I maintain a normal pace instead of running like I want to.

  I climb into my truck and pull out of the lot, finally able to breathe a little easier. If I were a decent guy I’d be happy for her. She may not have her memory back but at least she knows she has family now. That is something she’s wanted since we picked her up that night. I’m not a good guy, though; I’m a selfish prick. I want her for myself. I want to reach over to the passenger side and take her hand. I want to walk down the street with my arm around her waist, showing everyone that she’s mine. My phone buzzes in my pocket. When I pull it out I freeze. It’s a number I don’t know, but I know exactly who it is.

  Twisted gave me a phone and had me put your number in it.

  I don’t text her back. I have no idea what I can say to her. My cell buzzes again.

  I miss you. Will you be here for my party tonight?

  Fuck.

  Seeing those words hurts. I decide to respond to her, letting her know it’s my sister’s birthday and I have the night off. I tell her to have fun, but I don’t mean it. I want her here with me.

  The neighborhood starts to change, letting me know I’m almost at my family’s house. The row homes fade out, making way for large single homes. With each block, the space between them grows and so does the size of the lot. Making the turn into the driveway, I instantly regret coming here. I haven’t been back in two years. Mallory begged me to come, though, and I just couldn’t tell her no again.

  The large brick house almost taunts my old truck and worn clothes as I walk up to it. When I left that day the only things I took were the money I earned while working and the clothes on my back. I left the new car and all the pretentious clothes they tried to force me into. I didn’t want them to think I owed them anything because I had taken something they had given me.

  I knock on the door, not walking right in like I used to. This isn’t my home anymore. One of my father’s assistants opens the door. I don’t know this one but that’s not a surprise. He’s an asshole and goes through assistants at a ridiculous rate.

  “Can I help you?” She takes in my clothes and then looks past me to the out of place truck sitting in the driveway.

  “Max!” I hear my sister yell.

  I push past the snob and walk over to my sister, giving her a hug. “Happy birthday, little sis.”

  “You got a vest? Let me see!” She grabs onto my leather.

  “It’s called a cut and this isn’t the real thing yet. I haven’t been patched in yet.”

  “Whatever, it looks badass.” She laughs and then grabs my hand, pulling me through the house to the backyard. We sit down on the couches outside. “So, tell me what’s been going on. How have things been?”

  “They’ve been fine. Same old shit.” My phone buzzes and I pull it out to see another text from Izzy.

  Okay. Have fun. Maybe you can stop by when you get back.

  Fuck, she’s making it hard to stick to my guns.

  “Who’s that?” Mallory is looking at me.

  “No one, just club stuff.” I give her a short answer, hoping that it will hold off any other questions.

  “Nope. I know that look. Was it a girl?” No such luck. “Have you finally found someone who meets your standards?” She laughs.

  “That’s not even fair.”

  “Totally is. Every girl around here used to throw themselves at you
and none of them were good enough.” Her eyes roll.

  I want to tell her it’s because all her friends are self-centered stuck-up bitches, but I don’t. It’s her birthday and I told myself I won’t do anything to ruin it. I’m about to ask her how things are for her when the door to the house opens and my mother comes strutting out.

  Her eyes assess me, the disappointment evident. “Maximillian, I’m surprised that you came.”

  I hate that goddamn name. “Promised Mallory I would.”

  “I see. Do you need an outfit for dinner tonight?” She scrunches her nose at me, obviously unimpressed with what I have on.

  I knew coming here in jeans and a T-shirt would piss her off, but I couldn’t care less. “Nah, I’m set.”

  Her eyes narrow. “Why you insist on dressing like you’re homeless and poor is beside me.”

  I stand up. “Why you insist on trying to force me into this family’s fucked up mold is beside me.”

  Mallory stands, laying her hand on my chest. Her eyes plead up at me, begging me to calm down and swallow the shit like I told her I would.

  My mother huffs and turns on her heel, going back into the house.

  Mallory sits down and looks over at me. “You knew coming here dressed like that would piss her off.”

  “That’s the thing that you don’t get, sis. I don’t care. I gave up trying to live up to their idea of what I should be a long time ago.”

  Her teeth gnaw at her bottom lip. “I know. I guess I don’t understand why. I miss you being here.” Mallory is a senior in high school. We have always been close even though we are six years apart. Unlike me she’s let our parents plan her whole life. She is even going to the college they chose for her.

  “I miss you too, but I was drowning here. I get that you don’t understand it, but I just couldn’t stay. After losing Trent—”

  “Stop. Don’t go there. I don’t want to get into all that.” She wipes a tear from her cheek. “It’s my birthday. Let’s just have a good time.”

  I respect her wishes, knowing that just for today all she wants is to pretend that our family is whole.

  The truth is, though, that it hasn’t been for a while.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Izzy

  It’s been a week since I moved into the clubhouse. Today they’re having a cookout and all the families will be here. I’m excited because it’s the first one for me, and Lucy was telling me how it’s always so much fun.

  The club whores are not allowed here during the cookout because it’s strictly for old ladies and other family members. Thank God for that. They have been giving me crap on a daily basis. Nikki told me it’s because most of them are desperate for a place in this club, and now I have one. Not only that, but the brothers have been talking to me more, which apparently pisses them off too. There has been such a shift to how I’m treated here. Where most of the guys barely paid me attention before, now they go out of their way to talk to me. A few of them have flirted with me, or at least I think so.

  I’ve barely seen Max. He followed us girls to lunch one day, but we took a separate car and he didn’t get out of his. I know at this point I should just forget about him. He has obviously done that to me. Before all of this happened he at least made an effort to let me know he was there for me. I don’t know what changed. We had agreed that we needed to keep things quiet until he patched in. Now he has completely cut me off.

  A part of me can’t forget about him as much as I want to. I dreamed about him last night. That he came today and told me he couldn’t be without me anymore. He kissed me in the middle of the crowd, showing everyone he isn’t scared to be with me anymore. It was an amazing dream, but that’s all it was.

  I glance at my reflection in the mirror. I’m wearing black skinny jeans with this red shirt that Tracie gave me. It’s a V-neck but has slits cut into the fabric in between my boobs and down the sides of the shirt. It’s by far the most revealing thing I’ve worn. My hair is down in loose waves and I even did my makeup after a small tutorial from Lucy. They laughed that they were turning me into one of them the other night. Looking at myself, they completely did.

  I take a deep breath as I open my door and head downstairs. I see my brother right away. It still feels weird referring to him like that. We haven’t had a chance to talk much because he was away this week on club business and just got back last night. Nikki is with him and when she sees me she smiles.

  Twisted walks over quickly, Nikki trailing behind him. “Jesus, what are you wearing?”

  I flinch at his question.

  “Shit, I didn’t mean it like that. I just meant that I’m gonna spend all day chewing brothers out for talking to you.” He smiles at me.

  I relax a bit as he explains his reaction.

  “Shut up, you big caveman. Let her spread her wings and maybe if she’s lucky her—”

  “Don’t you dare say it.” He glares at Nikki before shaking his head. “And they wonder why women outlive men. You all stress us to death.”

  Nikki and I start to laugh as he walks over to the bar. “You look amazing, Izzy.”

  “Thanks.” I glance around the room, looking for Max.

  “He isn’t here yet,” Lucy says from behind me.

  I turn my face, reddening. “I wasn’t looking for anyone. Just checking stuff out.”

  She gives me a look, letting me know she doesn’t buy it.

  “He who?” Nikki asks. “Someone catch your eye?”

  “Shhhh.” I look over at Twisted to see if he heard her, but he didn’t seem to.

  Nikki’s eyes go between Lucy and me. “Someone better spill before I go hunting for prince not so charming in my own loud way.”

  Crap.

  “Okay, I might have a thing for someone.” I shrug, pretending it’s nothing serious.

  “Well, no shit, Sherlock. I want to know who.”

  I roll my eyes in frustration. “Max.”

  Her mouth drops open. “Shut the fuck up. The prospect?”

  “Shhhh!” Lucy and I both try to silence her at once.

  All of us scan the men around us, but they are blissfully ignorant.

  I look back at Nikki. “I like him.”

  “You could have your pick of anyone at this point and you didn’t even pick a patched in brother?” The shock is evident in her voice.

  I shrug. “It kinda started when we were spending all that time together.”

  “What exactly has happened?” She wiggles her eyebrows at me.

  “Not that.” I laugh. “We’ve just kissed a couple times. He’s been avoiding me ever since we found out who I was.”

  “Well, yeah, I’m sure he values his junk enough to stay far away.”

  “That’s the thing, though. I don’t want him to, and now I don’t know what to do.” The door opens and we all look over to see Max walking through it. I can feel my heart immediately speed up. Once our eyes meet it’s pounding so hard it feels like a jackhammer in my chest. His eyes rake over my body, widening slightly. Once he sees Nikki and Lucy with me he quickly looks away.

  “Jesus, you two are in trouble. Just being in the same room with you all the sexual tension is getting to me.” Nikki laughs. We watch him walk toward the back hallway and my heart slows down a bit. “Tell you what. I’ll take the caveman outside and distract him. Go ahead and see the boy.”

  She walks over to the bar and grabs Twisted’s hand, leading him outside. I turn to Lucy. “What do I do?”

  “Go talk to him. Tell him how you feel. Then at least the ball is in his court.” She offers me a small smile before following after Nikki.

  I take a deep breath and go in search of Max. I’m halfway down the hallways before a door opens and he walks out. He stops when he sees me standing there. Neither of us makes a move. His hands are in his pockets and his eyes are studying me like he’s trying to commit me to memory.

  I take a few more steps until I’m standing in front of him. “Hi.” My fingers play with my ha
ir nervously. I can see the wheels turning in his head.

  Max grabs my hand and pulls me into the room next to us. It’s a bedroom, but it’s a lot smaller than mine. The door shuts and the room fills with electricity. His face has some stubble on it and his eyes look stressed, the small bags under them letting me know that he hasn’t been sleeping well. He’s leaning against the closed door; I take a step closer to him.

  “What are you doing, Izzy?” His voice seems strained.

  One more step and I’m right in front of him. You can do this. Channel your inner badass.

  “I miss you. I want to be with you. I don’t care who my brother is or what the rules are. I just want to be yours like you talked about. I miss being around you.” My hand reaches up, resting on his cheek. I inch closer, pressing my lips against his and after a couple seconds, he returns it.

  Being this close to him again feels so right. It’s what I’ve needed. He is what I’ve needed. I want Max in every way. Lucy and I talked about this the other day. The way she describes things with Whip. It’s what I want. We take a few steps and I feel the bed hit my knees. I sit down on it, breaking our kiss.

  Max is looking down, and I can tell he wants me as much as I want him. He is about to reach for my neck when he stills. “I can’t do this, Izzy.” Before I can say anything he almost runs out of the room.

  My eyes well with tears as the rejection sets in. After a few minutes, Lucy appears in the doorway. “I’m guessing it didn’t go well?” She sits down next to me.

  I shake my head.

  “I’m sorry, babe. I’m sure it’s because of the warning T gave to him. I saw the way he looked at you.” Her hand rubs my back. “Hey, I have an idea.”

  I look over, and she’s smiling.

  “I know these guys and they are extremely territorial. Even though he won’t admit it to you, Max thinks of you as his. Get your sexy little ass out there and show him what it will be like if he keeps pushing you away.”

  I look at her confused, not really understanding what she’s getting at.

  “Make him jealous. Go outside and chat up anyone and everyone. I’ll tell Nikki to keep Twisted busy so he isn’t cock blocking you all day too.”