Try Me On for Size

by Stephanie Haefner

  “I saw you looking kinda weird, so I decided it was time to take my break. I do get a break, right, boss?”

  “Of course.” She took the cupcake from him. “Smart to come bearing sugar, though.”

  “I’m no idiot.”

  They both peeled wrappers from their confections and bit in. Heaven in a tiny package.

  “Want my penis?” he asked, holding out the minuscule confection that had topped his dessert.

  Mia nearly choked as she laughed and tried to swallow the last bite of her cupcake at the same time.

  “I can’t put it in my mouth. I’m on the wrong side of the Kinsey scale for that.”

  She shook her head as she took it from him. “Thank you. I needed that little pick-me-up.”

  “You’re welcome.”

  He had a tiny bit of pink icing on his lip and she yearned to lick it off. “Um, you have . . .” She motioned to his luscious mouth. “A little frosting right there.”

  His tongue darted out and it took every ounce of restraint for Mia not to pounce on him.

  “We should get back inside.”

  “Yes. Time to show these muscles and sell some more toys.”

  “I’m not sure the ladies are looking at your pecs when deciding on their purchases.”

  He grinned as he held the door open for her. “You’re probably correct.”

  Together they headed back inside and Oliver removed his robe. Mia watched his hot pink, spandex-covered behind waltz back to the showroom, welcomed by a roar of applause and cheering. She stepped into the bathroom for a quick splash of water on her face and to run a brush through her hair. Only two more hours to go.

  Penny was still at the register and Mia offered to take over.

  “No. I’m good here. Go mingle with the customers.”

  So she did, smiling and asking if anyone needed help. Most had found what they wanted on the dildo display shelf and were waiting in line with plastic champagne flutes to get their postcards signed. As she stooped to pick up a bra that had fallen to the floor, she saw the wheels of a stroller poking out from a display. Who the hell would bring a baby in there? Today, of all days?

  As Mia stepped toward the carriage, it moved forward. She’d recognize that curly head of hair anywhere. And the BabyBjörn–wearing mom who pushed it.

  “There you are,” Riley cried. “We’ve been looking all over for you.”

  “What are you guys doing here?”

  “We came to check out your big party. But if I woulda known it’d be so inappropriate for the kids, we wouldn’t have come. I mean, seriously? The guys are almost naked. And there are plastic dicks everywhere.”

  “Riley, it’s a launch party for our sexy toy line. What did you expect?”

  “I don’t know, something at least a little classier.”

  Mia’s little sister wouldn’t know classy if it came up and ripped off her gold-sequined miniskirt. How did she manage to stay upright in four-inch heels with a baby carrier on her front?

  Mia looked down at Gianna in the stroller, about to say hello to her niece, when she saw the Ultra Vibe in her hands. She must have grabbed it off a low shelf.

  “Oh, honey. You don’t want to play with that.” She carefully tugged it from the toddler’s hands, hoping to avoid a major meltdown.

  “Why’s that, Aunt Mia? Tell your niece why she shouldn’t touch that.”

  Mia just glared at Riley and stomped to the display where the toy belonged. After setting it down, she returned to Riley and the kids. “Is there something I can help you with?”

  “No. I don’t need toys to make my sex life exciting. All I need is my man.”

  All righty. End of discussion. “Okay, so, I’ll call you later then. Take a cupcake for the road.”

  Riley looked around the store, sneer across her face. “You got a lot of people in here, but that doesn’t mean anything. I know you don’t want to hear this, but I think Daddy’s right. This thing isn’t gonna save your shop. And it would be better for our whole family if you worked for him.”

  Here we go again. Mia curled her fists into balls. “Can we not discuss this right now? I have customers to tend to.”

  “Is this shop really more important than your family’s happiness?”

  What kind of person asks that? Mia was so sick of Riley dropping her problems on her and insisting she was the only one who could help. The Great Antonio Montonari refused to bend, so why did she have to? Looks like some of her daddy had rubbed off on her. The thought left a very unsettling feeling in her gut.

  “I have responsibilities here, so I think it’s best if you go.”

  “Fine.” Riley spun the stroller and headed for the door.

  So much for the nice, adoring, thankful sister she’d had last week. Looks like she’d have to say good-bye to nice, helpful Aunt Mi Mi.

  CHAPTER Nineteen

  Oliver was in his own world, putting on a show for the women who’d stood in line to meet him. Not a show like Logan, bragging and acting like an ass. He flirted in a gentlemanly way.

  But the crowd grew larger around Logan. Oliver noticed the photographer with his big fancy camera and a man he assumed to be a reporter with a digital voice recorder. Logan posed as the camera kept on flashing and the reporter asked questions. The women seemed to love it. A few in Oliver’s line left to go have a peek at the commotion.

  He decided to ignore the spectacle and concentrate on the women in front of him. He flashed his most brilliant smile. “Hello, ladies.”

  “Hi,” one said and handed him a postcard to sign. “Nice undies.”

  “Thank you. The color wasn’t my first choice, but I’m thinking no one here really cares what color they are.” He winked at her.

  “Uh-uh.”

  For a moment, Oliver felt like a juicy steak, the way her eyes absorbed every inch of him, hungry. It should have made him uncomfortable, but it didn’t. Must be getting used to the man-candy thing.

  After signing postcards for all four women, and a couple of boxes too, they gathered around for a photo. As Oliver smiled, a flip of blond hair out of the corner of his eye caught his attention. Only one person arrogantly tossed her hair like that. Alexiana.

  As soon as the camera flashed, he glanced toward the hair, confirming his nightmare. Oh fuck. And his bitch of a fiancée felt it necessary to bring not only her parents, but his as well.

  As the women walked away from him, he locked eyes with Alexiana, devilish grin painted on her face. She was going to enjoy watching his life crumble around him.

  “What the hell is this?” Oliver’s father bellowed above the party music and charged toward him. He pushed through the line of women, all giving him evil looks. “What do you think you are doing?”

  “Can we talk about this later?”

  “We sure as hell cannot! Tell me right now why you’re standing here practically naked.” He looked around the shop, to the toy displays, then back to Oliver. “This is disgusting.”

  “You don’t know what you’re talking about. We’ll discuss this later.”

  “I will not stand here and watch my son act like some deranged Chippendale.”

  “Then leave.”

  Alexiana’s father stepped next to Oliver’s father. “What the hell is your son doing?”

  “I wish to God I knew.” He shook his head.

  Bryn stepped into the middle of the commotion. “What’s going on here?”

  Alexiana’s mother put her two cents in. “I’ll tell you what’s going on. My daughter’s fiancé is parading around like some male prostitute.”

  Bryn’s eyes went wide, her mouth gaped. Oliver didn’t even want to think about Mia or where she was at the moment. She wasn’t front and center, but that didn’t mean she hadn’t heard every damn word.

  “Well, he’s not her fiancé any l
onger,” Mr. Ryland interjected. “I refuse to allow my daughter to marry such a repulsive excuse for a man.”

  As the three parents continued their tyrannical raid on Oliver, he found Alexiana in the crowd watching him with a vicious smirk on her face. She was getting what she wanted. He was embarrassed and the engagement had ended on her terms. Which meant his reputation would be completely obliterated in the eyes of his father. And her parents. And soon the entire social circle in which they were a part of. She’d look like the injured party, he the despicable cad. He didn’t care about his reputation, but why couldn’t they have ended this amicably like he’d wanted?

  Because Alexiana’s a selfish bitch, that’s why.

  “And forget about ever seeing your child,” Mr. Ryland screamed. “My lawyer will make sure you never spend a minute with that baby.”

  And then Alexiana’s evil smile flipped. The waterworks started and she fought to speak. “I’m not . . . The other night . . . We got in a huge fight. I . . . We lost the baby.” She flung herself into her father’s arms, sobbing.

  Come on! Quite a convenient time for a miscarriage. Was anybody believing this act? Oliver looked around, and apparently they were. At least now his suspicions were confirmed. She’d never even been pregnant.

  It was then Oliver looked to his mother. He’d been avoiding her gaze, unable to face her or the embarrassment this was causing. Her porcelain skin looked paler than normal.

  Ignoring the shouting men and blubbering ex-fiancée, he rushed past them to his mother’s side. “Are you okay?”

  “Some water, maybe?”

  He reached for a nearby chair and made her sit. Bryn handed him a bottle of water and he unscrewed the cap and handed it over. He watched her take a long sip, eyes moistened with what he’d figured were tears.

  Bryn stepped to him. “You need to get these people out of here.”

  “I know.” He met her gaze. “I’m sorry.”

  She walked away and grabbed a tray of cupcakes, trying to get the attention off the spectacle.

  Oliver turned his attention back to his mother. Her breathing was shallow.

  Sad eyes bore into him. “I don’t understand why you’re doing this.”

  “I’m helping a friend, Mama.”

  She nodded as she sipped again, a feeling of eeriness washing over him. He knew every set of eyes in the store was on him, but all of a sudden it felt different. He looked up, and standing behind them was Mia. If he thought Alexiana had perfected the glacial stare, she had nothing on Mia.

  MIA HAD been cashing out a customer when she’d noticed a commotion near the guys. Her first thought had been that some woman had drunk too much champagne and had gotten a little too frisky. As customers stepped out of line to ogle the drama, she’d followed, but quickly realized it was not a drunken woman causing the excitement. There had been men yelling at Oliver. A woman, too. She’d stepped closer to find out what was wrong.

  She’d watched the scene unravel, frozen in place. Oliver . . . engaged? Mia thought maybe she had heard the screeching woman wrong. But no. She’d repeated it, over and over and over. Or maybe it had just reverberated in Mia’s head. And she was pregnant, too?

  Bryn did damage control, working her motherly magic as she’d calmed the hysterical woman and the two men who had been also yelling at Oliver. She’d handed over a bottle of water as Oliver knelt in front of another woman, graying hair smoothed into a French twist.

  What the fuck is going on? He’d lied to her. Again. And so much worse than before. How had she let herself believe his first set of lies were all there were? And that they were kind of romantic, as Penny had put it. She should have known better. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me again, well, then I’m just a stupid idiot. And that’s exactly how Oliver had made her feel. So. Fucking. Stupid.

  He looked up at her and she gave him the evilest look she could muster. Roast in hell, asshole.

  Just then, the glittering blonde—his fiancée—walked up to him, black trails of tears down her cheeks. “That was fun.”

  Huh? This was all so confusing. But in the end, it didn’t even matter.

  Oliver looked to his fiancée then back at Mia. The woman’s gaze followed his and she gave Mia a smug look of satisfaction. Hold it. She looked familiar. Mia had definitely waited on her just a few days ago.

  One of the men stepped to them and helped the frail woman up from her chair and led her out of the store. The other couple ushered the blonde away from the crowd.

  Mia was left dumbfounded, unable to process any of what had happened. But then Penny turned up the volume on the stereo and started a conga line through the shop, weaving around displays. Bryn picked up filled champagne flutes and handed them out. The line re-formed for Logan, but Oliver had yet to retake his place. She needed to get out of there, collect her sanity.

  But before Mia could escape, a hand touched her arm. “I’m so sorry about that.”

  A bevy of emotion swirled through her gut. Anger, confusion, sadness. Which one to go with first? “The commotion, or the fiancée you never told me about?”

  Pure outrage would work. She jerked away from Oliver’s touch.

  The corners of his luscious lips fell. “Both.”

  “So you’re admitting it? You’re getting married?”

  “Not anymore. But yes, I was engaged.”

  “You’ve got to be kidding me!” Her body ignited and her eyes narrowed. “I knew you were too good to be true. You’re just like all the rest. Selfish asshole! I’d been searching to find something wrong with you, but it never occurred to me to consider the worst male behavior out there—cheating.” She shook her head at him as tears began to fall. “I never thought you’d be one of those.”

  Mia turned, weaving through the crowd toward her office.

  Oliver reached for her. “Mia, wait. Please.”

  But before she could speak, if there had even been a chance of that, Bryn had Oliver by the arm, the menacing voice she only used when her kids were beating each other up. “Let go of her and get back to work.”

  He retook his spot without a word, and Mia dashed off before she broke into tears right there in the shop. Slamming the door of her office, she flopped against it, sobs erupting as she slid toward the floor.

  This was why she was still single. Men were assholes. Pigs. Scum that lived on the assholes of pigs. She should have known there was more. That little lie about his name had just been the tip of the iceberg. He had a whole freaking life behind that name, one that included a fiancée.

  So, so stupid.

  A knock came at the door. Mia had no desire to talk to anyone, but she couldn’t leave her two friends to run this shindig without her. If she still wanted them as friends, anyway. And she’d need their friendship more than ever.

  She stood and wiped her tears with the backs of her hands, then opened the door.

  “Hey, are you okay?” Bryn asked and reached her arms around Mia for a hug.

  “I’ll survive.” She pulled away. “How’s the party? That scene didn’t scare people away, did it?”

  “No, if anything, it seemed to generate more excitement. Penny’s been going nuts on the register.”

  “Oh, good. I better get out there and help.”

  “You’re a mess. I came to tell you to go home.”

  Mia shook her head. “No. I’m fine. We’ll get through the rest of today, fire his ass, and continue like it never happened.”

  “I don’t think that’s an option.”

  “Are you insane? This guy lied. Again. We don’t want him working for us.”

  “Well, as much as I agree with you that he’s a total asshole, we kinda need him. There’s a crazy line waiting to meet him.”

  “Too bad. We’ll find someone else. The women don’t have to know it’s technically not his dick in the box.”

&n
bsp; “His photo is on the box, Mi.”

  “Oh, yeah. Forgot about that. Either way, he has to go. I can’t work with him anymore.”

  “I think you gotta. He’s under contract, remember?”

  Damn it. “Fine. But he better stay the hell away from me.”

  TWO HOURS later, an hour past closing, Mia cashed out the last customer. She’d gone back on the register after her meltdown. It was the best place for her—she could stay away from Oliver and it left her no time to think about what had happened.

  Bryn locked the door and breathed out, “Thank God,” as she flipped off the neon Open sign.

  “Thanks, guys,” she said as she turned toward Logan and Oliver. “You can get dressed and go home.”

  Bryn joined Penny in the giant cleanup effort as Mia started closing out the register for the night. The guys headed in back, and a few minutes later, Oliver approached the front counter fully dressed.

  “Do you need help with that?” he asked Mia.

  “Nope,” she said, refusing to look up.

  He stood there as she counted the cash, needing to stop and start over with the twenties. His presence distracted her. Him just standing there made her temperature rise, and not in a good way like it used to.

  “How’d we do?”

  “Fine.”

  Mia tried to ignore him and moved on to the tens, fives, and ones. She printed out the final credit card totals for the day and logged in the cash amounts. Overall, it looked like the party had been a huge success.

  She shut down the computer and headed toward her office with the cash. Oliver was at her heels.

  “I know you’re upset, but can we still go to dinner? So I can explain?”

  She spun so fast she must have scared him. He looked a bit terrified. “Explain? How the hell do you explain away a fiancée? And a baby?”

  “We were engaged, yes, but I was trying to—”

  “Stop. I don’t want to hear it. Whatever you say from now on is complete bullshit to me. Every word from your lips is a lie.” She turned and continued to her office.