by B. N. Toler
I entered the house, closing the door behind me. A large couch and sofa chair that didn’t match swallowed most of the space in the small living room. Car and porno magazines lay on the coffee table, surrounded by empty beer cans. It was definitely a bachelor pad. The living room and kitchen were divided by a counter that was covered with pizza boxes and more beer cans. I remained by the front door, not sure what I should do because Lucas vanished down the hall as soon as we stepped foot inside.
Lucas staggered back down the hall, like a person with a hangover, pulling a t-shirt over his head. “He must have run out.” He scratched his shaggy head of hair. “You can wait if you want.”
“Are you sure? I’ll just wait a few minutes if that’s okay.” I finished, not giving him a chance to answer.
“Yeah, have a seat.” He motioned to a sofa chair behind me.
He sat on the sofa diagonal to me and picked up a bong hidden behind the coffee table and grabbed a blue lighter off of the table. He pressed the rim to his mouth, then looked up at me. “I’m sorry, I’m so rude.” He held out the bong and the lighter to me. “You want a hit?” he asked, as if he were offering me tea.
“Oh, no thank you.” I shook my head.
He shrugged and pressed the bong back to his mouth.
“Lucas, Thomas has told me so much about you.” I lied. He really never talked about Lucas. He had only mentioned he was a loner, but no real details.
“Oh yeah?” Lucas smiled through squinted, blood-shot eyes. “That’s cool.” He nodded.
“So what do you do?”
“Thomas didn’t tell you about our business?” He smirked and coughed as smoke billowed out his mouth and nostrils.
“You have a business?” Why hadn’t Thomas told me that?
“We’re procurers, you might say.”
“Does that mean you find something?”
“Yeah, that’s exactly what we do.” He placed the bong and lighter on the coffee table in front of him and leaned back.
“What exactly do you find?”
“Rare things, more or less.”
Vague much? “Like antiques?” I tried to seem interested, but I couldn’t help but wonder if Thomas would return.
“Yeah.” He snorted, as if I said something funny, but it didn’t give me much cause to think about it, as I realized maybe it was a side effect of the pot he was smoking.
“What kind of antiques?”
“The rarest. Ones that can make a man very wealthy.”
I wasn’t sure what he was talking about or if he even knew himself. We continued to make painful small talk, at least for me, because he was high as a kite, for about ten minutes and Thomas still had not returned.
I stood up and walked behind the sofa chair where I had been seated. “I’m going to go. I don’t want to hold you up. Can I leave a note for Thomas?”
“Oh yeah, his room is down the hall to the right.” Lucas lay back on the sofa and closed his eyes. I hadn’t intended to leave the note in his room, but I figured why not.
I walked down the hall, past the eighties blue tiled bathroom, and what I assumed was Lucas’s room with the black light posters of weed and Bob Marley on the wall. When I got to Thomas’s room, I entered cautiously. It wasn’t a complete disaster, but some clothes lay on the floor, and his bed wasn’t made. The girl in me wanted to look at and touch everything, but the mature side felt wrong being there.
I scanned the top of his dresser, being nosey, and found nothing but loose change. I saw his night stand and decided that would be the best place to leave the letter I wrote just in case he wouldn’t see me. I sat on his bed and leaned down to smell his pillow. God he smelled good. I sat up and noticed his night stand drawer was ajar. The girl in me couldn’t resist opening it a little more, so I could see what was in it. A picture of me and my brothers with Thomas, the day he gave us Fred, our dog lay on top.
“Hey.”
I jumped.
Thomas stood in the doorway, holding a cup of coffee. He wore a navy long john shirt and jeans. Even in bummy clothes, he still looked amazing.
I quickly lay my letter on his night stand and tried to look as if that’s what I was doing. “Hi.” I laughed nervously. “I came to see you, but you weren’t here, so I was going to leave you this letter.” I stopped and shook my head, embarrassed I was babbling. He didn’t respond. “Yeah, uh, sorry I’m in your room.”
“It’s okay. What’s up?” He heaved a heavy sigh, as if annoyed with my presence.
“Well, you haven’t come over or returned any of my calls.” I stepped a little closer to him. “Are you mad at me?”
“Why would I be mad at you?”
“Well, if you aren’t mad at me, why are you avoiding me?”
“You shouldn’t have come here,” he stated coldly.
The sting of his words caused my eyes to tear up. “I’m sorry. Like I said, I haven’t been able to get in touch with you.”
“I’ve been really busy.” He sipped his coffee from the Styrofoam cup. His eyes darted in every direction, but mine. What had caused his demeanor towards me to change so completely? He was shut off to me.
“Okay. Well, why don’t you come over for dinner tonight?” I tried to move things along and break the awkwardness.
He inhaled deeply. “I can’t, Aldo. I got some stuff going on.”
“What stuff?” I tried to seem interested, like a friend would.
“Stuff,” he barked back.
My face must have revealed the hurt I was trying desperately to hide because Thomas’s mouth pressed in to a hard line and he looked away from me.
“Is it business stuff?” I pressed.
“Business stuff?” he questioned.
“Yeah, Lucas was telling me you guys are procurers or something.”
He rolled his eyes. “No, that’s not it.” I waited for him to offer what it actually was, but he didn’t.
“So, what is it?”
“I’m seeing someone.” He lowered his voice in an almost apologetic way.
“Oh.” The world crashed down around me as my body was sucked into a never ending pit of despair. But it vanished after a moment, and I realized I was still standing in Thomas’s bedroom, not breathing. “Oh, I see.” I managed a deep breath and smiled through the hurt. “Good for you.” No matter what, I would keep smiling, and I would not let my emotions get the better of me.
“Yeah, tell Lucy and your brothers I’ll be by soon, for a visit.” He made room for me to pass by him through the doorway.
My heart nose-dived to my stomach. Why was he acting so cold to me? “Okay, I will.” I replied softly. I sidled past him and our chests touched briefly.
He flinched at the contact. He didn’t even want to be touched by me.
“I’ll see you around then.” I made a nod and walked towards the front door. I made my way halfway through the living room, past Lucas passed out on the sofa, when tears welled up in my eyes. I had to say what I came here to say, regardless of the outcome. I walked back to Thomas’s room, where I found him lying back on his bed, with his arm over his head, and his feet on the floor.
“Thomas.”
He jerked upright, like he had been on the verge of sleep.
“You know, I really value your friendship and if I were to lose it because I did something that made you uncomfortable, I would hate myself.” I held my breath while I waited for his response.
He shook his head.
“I’m sorry.” My voice cracked, despite my best efforts to prevent it.
“Damn it, Aldo!” He jumped up.
I stumbled back, but he grabbed me by my arms. His grip was strong and full of emotion. “I just can’t be around you right now,” he said through clenched teeth.
“Why?’
“Aldo, please go and don’t come back here.” He released his grip and turned away. He leaned on his tall dresser and wouldn’t look at me.
I tried to think of why he would be so upset with me. I knew I
tried to make a move on him in my dream, but surely he knew I didn’t realize it was really him. He was supposed to be gone. I couldn’t think of anything else that could have made him so upset. Then I remembered telling him about going to prom with Wyatt.
“Is this about Wyatt?” The moment the words left my mouth I regretted them.
“What about Wyatt?” he snickered.
My face heated. “Because I’m going to prom with him?”
“No, Aldo. You can go out with whomever you want. I don’t care.”
His words hit me like a judo chop to the throat. Of course he didn’t care, because he didn’t want me. “Right.” I nodded. “So that’s it?”
He gave no response nor did he move.
“I hope you have a nice date tonight.” I smiled, even though it pained me to do so. I cried all the way to school, knowing I ruined everything. He was never going to come back. Not even having him as a friend seemed like the realest version of hell to me.
After school, I went straight to bed. I lay, wide awake and tried to figure out what to do. Should I try to plead with Thomas again? Should I let him go and if he came back, it meant he was mine? I hate that stupid saying. It took hours, but I finally fell asleep.
I fished in my dreams, casting the line mindlessly, hoping against all hope, Thomas would appear, but he didn’t. Three weeks went by and he never came over or called any of us. I was insanely depressed, but tried to function normal. I went out with Lila, Wyatt, and Robert. I tried to smile, laughing on cue, nodding when appropriate, so I didn’t seem sad, but I’m pretty sure they saw right through it.
On the weekend of prom, Lucy pulled me aside to have the sex talk with me, and it was insanely uncomfortable. She was more embarrassed than I was. I reassured her there was no chance that I would be doing anything with Wyatt like that. We were just friends.
With graduation only three weeks away, I still clung to hope that Thomas might at least attend. I ached without him, but I refused to allow that to ruin prom. I would enjoy tonight with the only friends I had ever had.
Lila and I went to a salon and got our hair done along with a manicure and pedicure. I had never had either so it was quite the experience for me. Afterwards, Lila came to my house and we got ready together. She did my makeup, as she was practically a professional cosmetologist.
Lila looked amazing wearing a black strapless dress with a split up the side to her thigh.
Sex.
I looked more kindergarten graduation, wearing a pastel pink, high cut gown that covered my entire body with the exception of my arms.
Anti-sex.
Lila and Hudson had started dating and were pretty serious, so they were going to prom together. I wondered if Lucy had the same talk with Hudson that she had with me. Whit was taking a sophomore named Dylan, and Robert was bringing a girl from another school whom we had never met.
When everyone arrived at our house, Lucy went about taking what seemed like a thousand photos and then proceeded to cry. I guess it was hard for her to see us grown up like that and looking at my brothers I couldn’t believe it either. Here we were, on the verge of adulthood.
Wyatt was a perfect gentleman and brought me a corsage. It was weird for me because I was used to Wyatt being laid back and easy going, but he almost seemed nervous that night. We went to dinner at a steak house. Shively, Kentucky didn’t offer much in the way of fine dining. I think it was literally called The Steak House.
Prom was held in our school gymnasium. Wyatt was a pretty good dancer, I, of course, was not, but he was incredibly kind and pretended not to notice my two left feet. Lila and Hudson were attached at the hip and I had never seen Hudson look so happy. They spent most of the night with their tongues down each other’s throats which was kind of weird to see.
As the evening started to wind down, we all agreed to go to Lila’s house and hang out since her parents were going to be out late at a poker tournament in Louisville. When we got to Lila’s, it was party time. After a bottle of Goldschläger and a bottle of Tequila, everyone was pretty much drunk within a few hours. I volunteered to be designated driver for my brothers, so I took three shots and stopped; drinking water the remainder of the evening. Lila and Hudson snuck off to her room, and the rest of us went outside for some air. After a while, it was just me and Wyatt outside, sitting on the porch, chatting.
“Are you nervous about college?” I asked.
“Nah. I’m ready to get out of this shithole town.” He shrugged and shook his shaggy hair to the side, out of his eyes.
“Well if college doesn’t pan out for you, you could always become a model.” I winked.
“Ha, ha!” He hated when we joked about him being a model. “I’m going to miss you.”
“Really?” I asked surprised.
“Yeah, really.”
“Aw, I’ll miss you, too. I’ll miss all of you.” I pulled down the corners of my mouth to make a frowny face.
“Walk to my car with me. I need a cigarette.” He stood up and held his hand out to help me up. I took it, surprised when he didn’t release it as we started walking.
“When did you start smoking?”
“I don’t; just when I drink.”
When we got to his car, he opened the passenger side door and motioned for me to get in. I slid in figuring he just wanted company while he smoked and he wanted to sit in his car. When he got in the driver’s side, he grabbed a pack of Marlboro Red’s out of his middle console and pressed his car lighter in. He leaned his head against the steering wheel, and he was silent for a moment.
“You okay?” I worried maybe he was getting sick from all of the shots he had taken.
“Yeah, yeah.” He sat back. “Aldo, I have to tell you something.” He turned to me. His shaggy hair hung a little over his eyes and I smiled because he looked so handsome.
“Okay.” I had a feeling he was going to say something I maybe didn’t want to hear, but I figured it was best to let him get it out. He was drunk, too, so I figured he wouldn’t even really know what he was saying.
“Actually, I want to...” He stopped and we stared at each other. “Can I kiss you?” he asked softly, but very guarded. I was really surprised, and I guess he could see that because he added, “I know were about to leave for college and all, but I have liked you ever since I met you.”
“Really?” I smiled, flattered and genuinely shocked.
“Yeah, but I thought you wouldn’t go for me.”
“Why?” Even though it was true, I wanted to know why he thought that.
“I thought maybe you had a thing for that Thomas guy.” His voice took on a tone when he said Thomas’s name that I took for jealousy.
“Oh.” A pang twanged my heart at the mention of Thomas. Was it that obvious I had a crush on him?
“I don’t know. There’s something about you. I’m just so drawn to you,” he confessed. “You’re special.”
“No, I’m just a regular old girl.” I was disappointed it wasn’t true.
“I know we’re going our own ways, but I just want to look back one day and say to myself, at least I got to kiss that girl.” He smiled and nodded, like the thought already gave him great satisfaction.
I pondered this for a moment. I was eighteen years old and had never kissed a guy, not for real anyway. I liked Wyatt, and I figured a kiss was harmless. After all, this was prom, and I was aiming for the ultimate teenage experience. I leaned towards Wyatt and as my lips got close to his, I whispered, “Just a kiss.”
His soft lips touched mine and as first kisses go, it was a good one. It lasted a little longer than I intended, but it was very sweet and appropriate. As we pulled away, we both smiled, and then Wyatt leaned back in. I panicked, because I knew he was drunk and I truly only intended to share one kiss with him, but I allowed him to kiss me again.
I started to pull away, but he pushed me back as he rose out of his seat and leaned into mine. I pulled my face away. “Wyatt, that’s enough.” I turned my face from h
im.
He began kissing my neck, as his hand moved up and groped my right breast.
“Wyatt, stop!” I attempted to push him off of me. Still he continued. I inhaled deeply; I was going to have to drain him unconscious. I didn’t want to, but he was obviously drunk and being an asshole.
So much for that beautiful prom night kiss memory.
I attempted to push him once more, without success, and I was about to pull his energy, when he slowly sunk onto me and passed out. Maybe the alcohol had finally gotten to him.
“Wyatt?” I patted his back, trying to see if he was really passed out. “Shit,” I whispered.
I tried to push him off me again when the car door opened behind me. I almost fell to the ground, but strong arms caught me and pulled me out from under Wyatt, who was left slouched over the middle console and the passenger seat. I tripped as I was being pulled from behind, but whoever had me, didn’t let me fall. Finally, I was stood up and able to get my balance. I turned to see my attacker and could not have been more surprised.
“What are you doing here?” I growled.
“Saving you from getting raped by a douche bag,” Thomas growled back at me. The glint in his gorgeous eyes told me he was pissed. Even in my anger, I couldn’t help but get weak in the knees looking at him.
“Really, Thomas? I can take care of myself.” I glared at him.
“It didn’t look like it.”
“What the fuck are you doing here?” I yelled. He abandoned us for weeks, then showed up on my prom night and drained my date.
“He was going to rape you!”
“How do you know?” I hissed back.
“I sensed it!” he roared, his hands fisted at his sides.
I gritted my teeth. “Did you also sense that he was drunk and it would have been impossible for him to rape me, which he wouldn’t have? He’s a nice guy. What you sensed was yourself being an asshole!” I tried to shove him, but it was like trying to push a brick wall. He didn’t budge. Thomas had me reeling, and I hated it. This was my life outside of him, and he had just come in and taken over it.
“I know what I sensed,” he said in a calmer, but still angered tone, maintaining his planted stand.
