Searching (Hidden Truths Book 1)

by Quell T Fox

  But Lenny isn’t wrong. According to the letter, I am a wolf. And not just any wolf, but the daughter of the pack leader. And they want me back. For what reason, I’m not sure.

  “This isn’t good,” Lenny says, shaking his head and finally looking up. He looks at Maddox first and then over to me. His bright, blue eyes look dull and sad. He turns his head towards Callan. “Why would they want her? She has never been with them. No one knows about her being a wolf. For fuck’s sake, she didn’t even know until recently.”

  “They don’t know that, Lenny. And the pack master is probably trying to save his behind. If someone finds out he has a daughter outside of his pack, he’d be shunned. Lose his status and his pack. Maybe even be killed,” Callan answers.

  “So then why do they want her?” Lenny asks, looking up to Callan. After a moment of no answer, he gets it. His face turns from shocked to angry. “No. No fucking way!” He gets to his feet, his hands fisted at his sides.

  “She’s safe here, Lenny. We won’t let anything happen to her. This isn’t our first rodeo, you know,” Callan says, staying as calm as he can. I see the worry in his eyes though. The concern he hides there but won’t vocalize. He knows this is serious. Wolves are not someone you mess around with. I’ve heard stories about them. They’re savages. All of them.

  I sit in my recliner not saying a word, like they aren’t talking about me and my life ending. I’m in shock and I have no idea how to react to this information on top of everything else that has happened to me recently. So I sit there, picking at invisible lint on my shirt to keep myself busy. I haven’t gotten over the fact I’m a shifter that can’t shift, or the fact my best friend was killed. Now I know for sure someone is hunting me down. And they haven’t outright said they want to kill me but depending on what they do want to do with me, death may be a better option. But I’ll take neither.

  As much as I struggle at times, I do want to be here. I want to be with my family and my friends. I want to live.

  “If you and Thorne are getting serious, I think you need to tell him,” Friday says after a bit of silence.

  “They aren’t,” Maddox snaps.

  Friday glares at him. “The more people who can protect her, the better. Don’t go acting all macho again, like you did with Dracula. Remember how that turned out? You aren’t the only person who can protect her.”

  Maddox response is to grunt.

  “She’s right, Mad. Have you seen the size of that kid? Even though he isn’t a Paranormal, the kids got size on him. It would take a lot to take him down. I think we should tell him.” I give Lenny a curious look, about to open my mouth to make a comment but he cuts me off. “But still no dating! And no private parts touching. Like, ever.”

  I roll my eyes and look towards Maddox.

  “You’re going to have to accept it, Maddox, because I refuse to change the way I live my life.” Everyone whips their heads in my direction, not used to me being so forward. “A lot has happened to me over the last couple of weeks. I-I’ve realized a lot and I know life is short. I’m not going to hide away over this. I’ll tell Thorne and he’ll stay with me while I’m not home.”

  “No need. You won’t be going anywhere.”

  “Fuck off, Maddox,” Alec says slowly, his tone dark. “Stop treating her like a baby. If she is a wolf, she’s going to be fine. They may be mutts, but they’re strong.” He winks at me but schools his face, not allowing anyone else to see him take his mask off. Alec has always been like that, low key on my side. He’s quiet most of the time but says what he needs to when it’s most important.

  He’s usually on Maddox’s side for everything that doesn’t involve me, but lately he’s been going against him. Even over silly things. I’m not entirely sure why, but I’m not complaining. It’s nice to have one of the guys on my side when it comes to a boy. They don’t ever count Friday’s opinion because she’s a girl and they say vaginas stick together. We do, but that’s beside the point. Problem is, they’re starting to catch on to us.

  Everyone continues to bicker back and forth. And by everyone, I mean Maddox, Alec, and Lenny. All of them giving valid points, but can’t get their macho, protective, caveman like thoughts out of the way to think rationally.

  “She could die. She can’t go anywhere,” Maddox repeats.

  “She has to go to school, but Callan will be there. Why does she need to tell that kid?” Lenny argues.

  “Kid? You look more like a kid than he does.” Alec turns towards Lenny, now aiming his words at him.

  “Uh, yeah. Isn’t that weird?” Lenny asks.

  “What’s weird is you’re in your thirties and a high school kid could kick your ass,” Maddox says, his tone a little lighter.

  Callan stays out of most arguments, but always listens. Friday stays for the fun of it. I sneak out while everyone is occupied with each other, wanting to go up to my room to be alone. Right about now I wish I had a giant bathtub to relax in, but I only have a shower. I consider asking Friday if I can sneak into their room for a while to have one… I pull out my phone.

  Me: Mind if I use the bathtub?

  She answers almost immediately.

  Friday: Of course not. I’ll keep the guys away.

  After grabbing everything I’ll need from my room, including my robe and cell phone, I go into their room. I slip past the bed and into the bathroom, shutting and locking the door behind me. I turn on the taps to fill the tub and start to undress. They have the biggest bathroom in the house, which makes sense. There are five of them sharing this room. They used to have their own rooms, and technically Alec’s room is still his old room, but the others have been taken over by the kids and me. It’s not the reason they gave up their rooms though, they’d been sharing a room before we came along anyway.

  This tub is amazing. I’ve only used it a few times before, but I should do it more often. Something about being submerged in the hot water relaxes me like nothing else I’ve experienced. Well, not until recently. The only thing that’s come close is when I’m with Thorne.

  The tub is so big it has steps to walk into it. It’s more like an indoor hot tub, really. Before getting in, I pour in a small container of bath salts which smell like eucalyptus. It’s one of my favorite plants and scents. I get into the hot water before it’s filled, needing to feel the warmth on my skin. I settle in and let the water fill around me. I rest my head back and close my eyes. I’m at a point where I feel like I may drift off to sleep, the hot water surrounding me, keeping me warm. It’s rare for me to ever feel cold. I guess I now have an explanation for it, but the last couple of days have been hard. I’ve felt a chill to my bones I haven’t known before. The sloshing of the water filling the tub is soothing, but I remember I need to turn it off before it overflows. I sit myself up and turn the taps, then lean back again so the water is up to my neck. I close my eyes and try to clear my mind. I’m like that for a long while, each second that passes, a layer of stress falls off and disappears.

  My phone dings and I open my eyes, finding it on the counter by my feet. I dry my hands off on the soft, fluffy towel I left on the rack before picking it up. I smile when I see who it’s from.

  Thorne: Hope you’re doing okay. Just wanted you to know I’m thinking of you xoxo

  I answer right away.

  Me: I’m surviving. The bath is helping me to relax.

  Thorne: Bath, you say? *drool emoji*

  I laugh but quickly send my response.

  Me: Yep, bath. Very naked and very wet.

  I instantly regret sending the text. It’s not normal for me to say something so sexual. My cheeks heat with the realization that Thorne is probably reading the text right this second.

  I’m not sure what we are or what direction we are going in. He’s been nothing but sweet to me, but it doesn’t mean he wants to be with me. It just means he’s nice. We’ve only been on the one official date, which could be a bad thing. Does he not want to go on a second one? I think again to what those gi
rls at the theatre said about me and the three of them. Are they really only doing this to get into my pants? Is that what this is? Worry creeps into my gut, but I push it away.

  Those girls are wrong. I can feel it. Something about them… I don’t know what it is, but it’s frustrating. Whatever idea those girls have about them and me, she’s wrong. Besides, this is what Lina would want me to do.

  If it’s a mistake, then it’s a mistake. I learn from them and I’ll only be better after it. But if this isn’t, if this turns out to be a good choice, then it’ll be one of the best ones I’ve made. So I decide I’m going with this, whatever this is.

  My phone dings and I hesitate before looking at it, having no idea what it’s going to say. Is he going to get upset with my text? Or maybe he will be excited. The thought of him liking what I said warms me to my core.

  Thorne: …

  Me: I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that.

  I revert to the old me, apologizing for doing something out of the ordinary because I’m not confident enough in myself.

  Thorne: Oh no. Don’t apologize. In fact, I think you should tell me more.

  More? What does more mean? I begin to panic, thinking I’m going to make a fool of myself. I shouldn’t have answered him at all. I should have waited until I got out of the bath.

  After a few deep breaths, I convince myself he is okay with what I said or he wouldn’t be asking for more. So I say the hell with it. Like I said earlier, life is too short and I’m tired of being timid.

  I’m tired of living in my head.

  Lina is dead. She would be so mad at me if she knew I passed up this opportunity.

  “This one is for you, girl.”

  I snap a photo of my legs, my knees bent and sticking out of the water. I delete it and take another, trying to get it as sexy as possible. It doesn’t look as good as I wanted, but it looks okay. Definitely not IG worthy or anything. I attach it to the text and add tell or show? with the angel emoji. Lina must be with me in spirit because I have no idea where these balls are coming from. I hit send before I can change my mind.

  I hold my breath until the phone dings again.

  When I open the text and see the devil and the eggplant emoji, I let out a quiet laugh. But when my phone starts to ring, I freeze, almost dropping it into the water. My entire body fills with panic. I wasn’t prepared for this. I didn’t expect it to go this far. A photo in return is what I expected, not a phone call!

  I answer the phone with a raspy hello, trying to hide my nerves.

  “Baby,” Thorne groans. “What are you doing to me?” his husky voice asks from the other end of the phone.

  I let out a soft laugh, resting back into the tub. I can do this.

  “I’m not doing anything, just taking a bath.”

  “Oh you’re doing something all right.” His voice is rough, filled with lust. He lets out a deep but quiet moan, and my lower belly fills with heat. I clench the phone in my hand, wild thoughts running through my head.

  “Are you…?” The words come out on their own, laced with shock and also excitement. I think he’s touching himself. And fuck if he is…

  “Can you blame me? Thinking about you naked and dripping wet… that picture. I gotta head out in a bit and I can’t go out with my dick as hard as diamond. There’s no other way around it, baby.”

  I grip my phone, my eyes darting towards the door. I know it’s locked. I know no one will bother me. I know these things, yet still I worry. But… there is another part of me that doesn’t care. A carnal part of me that’s calling for him, for him to touch me. If I were home alone, I’d ask him to come over. Is there a way to sneak him in? Damnit, I know that isn’t an option right now. Or probably ever.

  “Touch yourself for me. Tell me how tight you are. Does knowing I’m stroking my cock turn you on? Does it make you wet?”

  Holy fuck.

  Fuck, fuck, fuck!

  If the thought didn’t, his words definitely do.

  “Yes,” I breath out, gripping the phone with crushing force.

  “Are you touching yourself too?”

  “I…”

  “You what, baby? Tell me.”

  “I’ve never done this before,” I whisper, my thoughts going a mile a minute. The urge to touch myself is overwhelming. There is a heat in my lower belly which needs attention, and I know exactly what I need to do, but…

  “It’s no different than the real thing. Just tell me what you’re doing since I can’t see you.” He groans again. “Tell me every single detail. I want all of it.”

  “No, that’s not… I mean I’ve never—”

  “You’ve never… been touched before?” He lets out a pained groan. “Fuck, if I didn’t have somewhere to be I’d be at your house in seconds. I can’t decide if I want you to do this for me now or wait for me to do it for you.” Another groan leaves his mouth, echoing in my ear. “Tell me what you want, baby. Tell me if you want to touch yourself, or if you want to wait for me.”

  What do I want? I want this throbbing between my legs to go away. I want Thorne to appear here and take care of the ache for me. Hell, I am tempted to do it myself, but something tells me it would be worth the wait.

  “You. I want to wait for you.”

  “Yeah? You want to feel my hands on you? You want my fingers inside you? Inside the place no one has been. You want that from me?”

  “Yes. I do.”

  “Okay. Fuck, okay.” He lets out a long sigh. “I’m stopping.”

  “No,” I say. He doesn’t respond, so I continue. “I want you to finish.”

  “I knew you were perfect.”

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Leona

  After the extra steamy bath I took, I need to do something to cool down. Thankfully I put my hair up and it didn’t get too wet, so I get dressed and go out to the backyard for a walk. I go down to the beach, needing to collect my thoughts on top of lowering my body temperature. There are chairs down here that stay year round for times like this. I pull one a little closer to the water’s edge and sit down, the cool plastic going right through the material of my sweatpants and burning my skin. It’s welcomed. I sit for a while, thinking about everything going on and how my life has taken such an abrupt turn. And I wonder when it’s going to stop. If it ever will. It seems my entire life has been filled with last minute turns on a road to an unknown destination. I thought I knew where I was going in life, but I’ve recently learned nothing is set in stone. Life is not definite.

  I think about the promise I made to Thorne and wonder if I’m ready to take the step or if I was just caught up in the moment. Am I ready for this? Especially with someone I don’t know all that well, someone who has a reputation like his. I push the thought from my mind though; I’m choosing not to dwell on it.

  There is certainly an attraction to Thorne. A strong one. And it isn’t just physical. It’s much, much deeper than that. I’m not the wait until marriage type of girl but I’d rather not lose my virginity to a complete asshole.

  Thorne is not a complete asshole.

  That much I know.

  I don’t want to end up a thirty-year-old virgin. People finding out about it is also bad. It may become a competition or conquest because that’s how pathetic guys can be. What those girls said, it could be true. It makes sense, but I’m choosing to believe in Thorne because what I feel from him is like nothing I’ve ever felt before. Maybe they are right about him though. Maybe that’s who he was, but I’m not so sure it’s who he is now.

  I like Thorne, and keeping on with my new mantra, life is short, I decide I am ready for this. I want this.

  Not that there are any plans in place or anything. I have no idea when we would ever have time to ourselves in a decent enough location. My family is always home and having him over with them home is fine but going up to my room won’t be an option. The guys would have a field day.

  Unless… unless I decide I want to move over to the guest house. It’s been
offered to me on more than one occasion. I could sneak him in easier over there than I could in the main house. But am I ready for that? Being alone with all that space? It’s not like I could move in and expect Thorne to do the same. It’s way too soon. I’d still be alone the majority of the time, and even though the guys and Friday wouldn’t be far, they’d be much further away than they are now.

  They don’t only have the house protected, it’s the land that’s protected. Lenny has spells up and Maddox walks the perimeter of the house daily to see if he smells anything out of the ordinary. I would be safe there, but I’m not sure I could convince them of the same. This is something I need to give more thought to. I can’t decide to move over there just because I want to lose my virginity. There is so much more to it, but if the opportunity arises for Thorne and me to move to the next step, I plan to take it.

  I pull my phone from my pocket and send a text.

  Me: Wish you were here to talk to. Xoxo

  I know Lina won’t answer me back, but I need someone to talk to. And she’s all I have.

  Thorne

  “Nothing yet?”

  “No,” I grunt.

  “You’re not trying hard enough,” Hunter snaps.

  I look up to meet his angry stare, his bright blues that normally look innocent are filled with disgust. There is so much hatred within him, but his beautiful exterior hides it well. He literally is a beautiful disaster. His charming looks mixed with his dark past; he’s the definition of the phrase.

  “I am. I’m doing everything we discussed, and more. It’s not my fault she doesn’t want to tell me anything.” I look away from the guys, staring down at my boots. “Maybe she really doesn’t know,” I add.

  “How is that possible? You know what it’s like having an animal trapped inside of you. Do you think she would be able to ignore something like that?” Hunter scoffs. “Quit being so stupid, Thorne.” He turns towards Castor. “I knew it should have been one of us. It would have been done by now.”