Cowboy's Baby

by S. L. Finlay

  There were so many experiences to have here that I had never had before.

  With time left on my visa, I could stay. But did I want to stay here? Did we want to stay here together?

  I didn't want to bring up these thoughts as they might ruin the moment, they might ruin the fun we were having together, and the love we were sharing. I didn't want to do that. I wanted plenty of things, but none of them was wanting to ruin the time we were having together.

  It was important to me that we had the best time together possible, that we would both leave with the best memories of this place and of one another.

  I was determined.

  That evening at the top of the empire state building, we took an awful long time looking at New York, as if it were a city that we would never see again. There was an audio commentary you could plug into your ear and hear about old New York.

  New York was a pretty wonderful place, and its charm extended a long way. I wanted to hear as much about this old New York as I could, and would plug in to the commentary to listen whenever we moved to a new location.

  Billy wasn't interested in hearing about old New York, or any of her stories, he was too busy making goo-goo eyes at me to think about anything else, which was romantic and sweet but left me feeling a little silly sometimes when I would turn to him all excited to repeat a story then have him shake his head at me and say something like, "That's nice, hold still, you have an eyelash!" before picking the eyelash off my face and blowing it past the cage that surrounded the empire state buildings observation deck to prevent jumpers.

  That night my eyelash flew off into New York, never to be seen again as my heart rested with my boyfriend who was also my daddy and we cuddled, looking at the view and imagining the future we would share together. Both of us quiet, and not sharing our thoughts, our hopes and our dreams.

  What would we do? Would I stay? How could I? Maybe he would follow me back to Australia, but if he did, how would that work? What would we do in Australia?

  I pushed all of these thoughts from my head as I cuddled into him, but I wouldn't get a rest from reality for too long.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

  It was a few days later when we were to do the final thing on my New York bucket list and visit the Statue of Liberty and Cony Island.

  That morning I was buzzing with excitement.

  The statue of liberty is a symbol of America and also a symbol of New York bigger than any other. I had dreamed about seeing it since I was a little girl and now I wouldn't just be seeing it (something I had done several times) but I would also be climbing the statue.

  Climbing up into the old lady and seeing the world through her crown.

  Now that was romantic!

  I got ready for my day by trying on what felt like every pair of shoes I had (or at least the pairs I had taken with me to America) before settling on some black sneakers (as they call them in America, I grew up calling them runners back home in Australia), and a pair of jean-shorts with a little pink tee.

  Daddy liked me wearing my little girl clothes most of the time, but as we were staying with his parents, I had to wear clothes that would satisfy that want and also be clothes that were age appropriate. No Lolita style dresses for me!

  Heading downstairs for breakfast, I threw caution to the wind as I gave Billy a big 'good morning' kiss on the lips before taking his hand over the table and having a wonderful good morning chat. We smiled at one another for some time before I even realised anyone else was in the room.

  This exclusivity and 'coulplyness' must be getting annoying for everyone around us. Billy's parents were good at hiding their annoyance though - if they were even annoyed – and behaving normally, even as we were being a little weird.

  Today was the day we were going to see the statue of liberty and I was excited.

  Waking up in the morning it felt like a special day, as if all the days in America were leading up to this.

  We would take the ferry across and gaze up at the statue from the ground before climbing it. We were also visiting cony island which was also important, but it hadn't caught my imagination as much as the statue had.

  I guess American movies push this idea of America being like this friendly island that will take anyone as long as they will work hard and contribute to its ideals.

  Give us your poor, your tired, your hungry...

  Even as times change and immigration isn't quite what it was – no-one comes by a boat that sails past the statue anymore – the statue still represents that ideal, and that time.

  And I was going to see it.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

  The process of getting here wasn't quite like being here. I had travelled to America all the way from Australia, I had been a crying mess in an airport, I had been picked up from my arriving airport by a grumpy man who later turned out to be the sweetest daddy dom ever. I had been forced to leave where I was living after some bad shit went down but had landed on my feet with my man's family. Then he had come to join me.

  Now we were going to a place that had represented it all for me.

  As the ferry crossed the water I felt a sense of relief wash over me. I had made it, I had done this. I had shown the world how independent and strong I am. I had met someone amazing in the meantime, I was in love. We were both very much in love.

  He gave me a little kiss and I looked out at the statue as it grew closer.

  When it was time for us to disembark we both did so onto the island.

  There were tourists everywhere, but this didn't feel like it was an island full of tourists, it felt like it was our own personal adventure.

  Even as we waited in line and were surrounded by people, it never felt like any of it mattered.

  I had seen so many tourists who looked like your tired and your hungry. They wouldn't look after themselves in the pursuit of seeing everything they could on a holiday and would wind up hungry, tired and grumpy. They would snap at one another and at locals. They would ask dumb questions and run in the pursuit of every photograph they could, ignoring the fact they'd never look at those photos again.

  Billy and I weren't like that, we were so loved up that we didn't mind any inconveniences and we were so busy looking after one another that neither of us had a chance to get grumpy from fatigue or hunger.

  We held hands as we waited, we chatted, we laughed with people around us.

  When it was our turn to climb we did so. And damn, was that statue hard to climb.

  The statue of liberty has a whole lot of stairs and is incredibly narrow, also, after climbing a while you get pretty hot in there.

  Before we had even reached the top I was puffed. When we reached the top, I was relieved at the opportunity to stop but also excited for the view.

  There was nothing like that view. I stared out the windows, excited, then when I turned to Billy, he was no longer standing next to me.

  He was kneeling beside me.

  The cabin at the top of the statue was filled with people but in that moment I saw only him. I heard only him.

  "Baby, I was going to wait longer than this, but I can't wait anymore." He began as my breath caught in my throat.

  "I love you so much, and I couldn't stand loosing you when your visa runs out." He told me, "I am not asking just for that, but because I can't see a life without you after having you here. You are here and you remind me of what I always wanted but never thought I would have."

  I felt tears welling up inside my eyes, even as this didn't feel real. I nodded, because I felt the same way. I had never imagined a relationship as good as this in all my life. Everything felt so perfect, like we were made for one another. I know that's totally cliché, but it's true. It's how I feel about my Billy. It's how I feel about my Daddy.

  "You are so amazing, and I am so lucky to have you, and I am going to do everything I can to keep you here with me. This marriage is only the beginning. I will work for you, I will fight for you. I love you so much!" He told me.

>   I am sure he had more to say, but the other tourists were watching us and I just wanted to hold him, to kiss him, to say I do.

  I cried, "Yes!" Before I could help myself and stuck my hand out like a small child to accept Daddy's ring.

  He placed it on my finger and moved up to kiss me. His kisses were so sweet and soft that we both sighed into one another.

  All around us, people were clapping and cheering.

  "Congratulations!" Strangers cried in our ears as this space was so small that they sort of had to.

  We looked out at the view a little, but I felt like I wasn't really seeing anything anymore. I just couldn't keep my eyes off him.

  When it was our turn to exit we made our way back down the statue and spent the afternoon looking at the museum at Cony Island. I still wasn't completely taking everything in. I was so shocked by that had happened.

  We were getting married.

  I had come here to the other side of the world to explore something different, for a break after university, and now I was getting married.

  How would I tell everyone?

  When it was time to dial a couple numbers and tell everyone that we were getting married, I just couldn't do it fast enough. Everyone had to know, I had to cry it from the rooftops!

  I called my parents at home in Australia, but they already knew he was asking. They knew it was coming because he had made a point of asking my parents if we could marry.

  I guessed that no parents ever said no to that request: if they knew someone made their kid happy, they would have to say yes to marriage, right!?

  I moved on to calling some of my friends back home while Billy was still on the phone to his own family. After about an hour of us calling what felt like everybody we knew, we heard someone downstairs and finishing my phone call, I went out to greet whoever it was, "Hello?" I called down the stairs.

  "Hello!" Called up William. I giggled and told him I'd be down in a moment, I had news.

  When I turned back to the bedroom to grab Billy's hand to drag him downstairs he was already beside me.

  We exchanged a look and a smile and walked downstairs together.

  Billy's parents were pottering around in the kitchen having just returned from the grocery store. Billy started chatting to them and they asked about the statue of liberty and how we'd gone. At that, Billy's eyes met mine and we shared a smile.

  "Really well." He said without taking his eyes off mine, "She said yes."

  His mother, who had been holding some eggs, dropped them before turning to the both of us, "She what?"

  Billy chuckled as he tore his eyes from mine and looked over at his mother, "She said yes mom. We're getting married!"

  Billy's mother and father stared at the two of us for a long moment before everything came out at once. They were both talking loudly about a million different things at once: they were so happy for us, so excited, they had no idea, oh! Had he asked my parents? Where would we live? Were we staying here with them in New York? Where would we get married? How long did I have left on my visa anyway?

  We tried our best to answer every question as it came, but before we both knew it we were being drowned in hugs.

  I was so happy that I was laughing with happiness, rather than laughing because anything was funny. We hugged his parents then recounted the proposal story.

  After a time, William told us that he must take us to dinner that night. To celebrate our engagement.

  Billy and I exchanged a glance, we had already had our own plans and I didn't want to be the one to say no to his father. Billy stepped up so I didn't have to, "That's fine." He said, "You don't have to do that, we are already going out on a date to celebrate." Billy took my hand in his as he mentioned the date.

  Billy held my gaze for a moment then before turning back to his father who was okay with what he had just said. Billy's mother seemed excited for us.

  We accepted more congratulations before escaping upstairs to get ready for our date.

  When we were alone, Billy gave me a soft, sweet kiss on the lips before telling me, "I love you so much. I don't want anything to change."

  I chuckled, "Too bad if you don't want anything to change now, because it will."

  Billy nodded, "Some of it will change, but not what's important."

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

  We hadn't really answered questions from the people around us as to what we would be doing: where we would get married, where we would live, etc.

  Billy wanted to stay in the US and for me, I was happy to stay here for a few years at least before heading back to sunny Australia.

  Billy was hesitant to agree with me but when I pointed out all the benefits of raising a family in Australia: the universal health care, the free education until eighteen then cheap (compared to the US) college with interest free student loans, the clean air and water, the improved standard of living, higher paid jobs, etc. Billy did agree with me in the end that a move back there would be good when we were ready to start our own family.

  "I am happy to live here until we have our children." I told Billy and he agreed with me. Australia would be an easier place to raise children, but the US would have more career opportunities for the both of us right now.

  After we had both had a break in New York for a short while, we were both feeling restless, wanting to get back to work. It's nice to be on holiday, but when you're caught between a rock and a hard place like I was, you want more than a few weeks off, you want to get your career into gear and start doing something with your life.

  I hadn't minded taking care of the ranch's books, but mostly because I had liked the slow pace of work. After discussing it with Billy, we agreed that we would find another ranch where I could manage the books and he could be a rancher.

  Of course I could earn more money in a city like New York but after being here for a while, I had felt the novelty wear off and seen the grit underneath the New York dream. It wasn't all roses and butterflies in the park here, and I didn't want to trade in my beautiful ranch life for this.

  Billy started looking for a ranch that would take the both of us. In a few days' time, he had three offers: two ranches that said they would take both of us but that I would need to do cleaning and cooking (like Mama had) as well.

  Obviously it wasn't just the ranch where we'd met that put doing the books down as a low priority after things like cleaning and cooking.

  The third ranch understood that I was a college graduate and that they would be lucky to have me, they also ran tours of the ranch and took school groups and tourists alike who they would show ranch living to.

  The third ranch too wasn't far from a capital city. We would be able to go into the city a few times a month if we needed to, so this would be the best of both worlds.

  Plus, the pay was higher than we had previously been offered at any of the other places. We would be able to save for our wedding much quicker this way.

  We didn't go back to the original ranch because of how we had left things, and also because they didn't need anyone to look after their books now.

  It wasn't until a few days before we were starting our new job that we heard from the ranch owner of the ranch where we had first met. He called Billy to try and talk him into coming back. Billy wasn't interested after what had happened to me when I left and how dangerous it had been, he said no without hesitation apparently and thanked the owner for his call.

  Over the next few days, the ranch owner called a number of times, each one he would tell Billy that he should come back. Each time Billy said he would not.

  In the end, I answered the phone one day when Billy was in the shower.

  Recognising who it was quickly after telling him I was fine and asking how he was, I told the ranch owner, "I'm sorry, but we have found jobs elsewhere."

  "I know." Said the ranch owners voice down the phone, "But I really need the two of you here, plus, Mama misses you."

  I sighed at the obvious attempt at manipulation. "She might,
" I agreed, "But we can't come back. We have already committed ourselves elsewhere, and it wouldn't be fair on the other ranch."

  "You know I always liked you." The ranch owner said, "Even as no-one else did, I always liked you."

  Rolling my eyes I told him, "It doesn't matter who you like, we are going elsewhere."

  The ranch owner wasn't listening as he went on, "I did get rid of those other guys, too. They won't be gambling away all the money anymore."

  "Huh?" I asked, "They were gambling away money?"

  "Yes sir, that's where it went." He told me.

  I didn't feel so bad reporting them then, and it was good to have things confirmed anyway.

  "But you knew they were gamblers?" I asked.

  "Yes sir, I did. Everyone in the whole town knew." He told me.

  "How did you think they were getting the money then?" I asked as it occurred to me how strange it was that these guys had never been pulled up before, then when they were it was a huge drama and I had to leave the ranch so quickly.

  There was silence down the line. I think the ranch owner knew he was caught in a big old bear trap (as he would say himself).

  "Listen," I started as I realised Billy was finishing up in the shower, "Billy and I really do appreciate your giving us jobs, and your wanting us back, but we really do need to move on to other things now. We're getting married soon, and we need to have permanent jobs to look better to immigration so I can stay here. I'm sorry, but I don't think working for you could ever be permanent after what happened. The boys just wouldn't like or trust us."

  Another silence as the ranch owner thought over what I had said, "Okay." He agreed, "I understand."

  "So you won't call here again?" I asked, my voice firm.

  The ranch owner agreed, "No, I won't. Good luck with your new job." And his voice sounded earnest, which did surprise me a little.

  "Thank you, good luck with everything in the future to you too." I told him as I hung up the phone.