Cracked & Crushed

by A. J. Downey

  Chapter 23

  Reaver…

  The fire crackled warm and bright. I’d spent half the day with the guys throwing knives and talking about hand to hand tactics and the other half with Hayden swimming, which turned into making out like a couple of teenagers which turned into carrying her back to our room, her body twined around mine like a vine so that I could make love to her. Now it was past dinner and past fight night and we were lounging against a fallen log that had been drug over to the beach. I had Hayden on one side, Ashton on the other with Cutter on the other side of Hayden and Trigger on the other side of his girl.

  I had a beer in one hand, Hayden’s head on my shoulder and Ashton’s hand curled around my other one while she cuddled against Trigger. Cutter’s arm was up over Hayden’s shoulder along the back of the log and to see us, you would see exactly what it was. One giant-ass, comfortable as hell cuddle pile in front of the fire. Squick, the prospect under my mentorship was staring thoughtfully into the flames. Lost inside his own head. We’d discovered he wasn’t a half bad shot but he had a hell of a proficiency for knives some time ago. I guess it was fate that he ended up under my mentorship.

  I felt a little bit guilty. Since hooking up with Hayden I’d been a shit mentor. Even if it had only been a gap of a month or so, shit, it felt like an age at this point… He and I had a heavy talk just after dinner about truth, honesty and brotherhood. We all knew the kid was gay but he was fuckin’ terrified. Scared more about how we’d react if he came clean than what he should really be fuckin’ afraid of: lyin’ to his brothers. I’d tried to gently steer him in the direction of coming clean to the club on his own. We were a patient lot, but not infinitely so. If he ever wanted to patch in he would need to learn to fucking trust us. Trust that we had his back in all things, just as we needed to know we could trust him to have ours. I’d planted the seeds but it was up to fucking Squick to make ‘em grow.

  I kissed Hayden on the temple as she stared into the fire. I was slouched low and she was sitting up high, propped against me curled up snug against my side and it was perfect. The back of her head on my shoulder. Basking her slightly sunburned face in the warmth from the flames, she drowsed against me like a sleepy but well fed kitten. Satiated for the time being. I smiled to myself a secret little half smile, I was glad her sexual appetite was just about as ravenous as mine. It was nice to have a woman who could keep up. I shifted slightly, uneasily. That coldness that lived inside me was growing hungry again with the need to do violence, to hurt, to maim, all in the name of giving me my next fix on my real drug of choice: fear.

  “Never met a couple of people I was really gonna miss. It more than kinda sucks y’all live so far away,” Cutter commented. It was our last night at the lake. Time to go home tomorrow. I sighed.

  “I hear you,” I said.

  “You should come visit.” Hayden said with a yawn. Cutter smiled.

  “Hell, if it weren’t for me running my crew I’d consider moving,” he said in a low whisper only meant for us. I smiled.

  “You have your boat,” Hayden protested.

  “Yeah I could get a pretty penny for her. Take up a new project…” He mused aloud but then stopped, “I got people though.” He looked across the fire at a laughing Hossler.

  “You two?” I asked.

  “Yeah and naw. She’s not one to commit and right now neither am I.” He heaved himself to his feet. “Be right back, I gotta piss,” he said and trudged off toward the cabin and the nearest bathroom. Hayden heaved a sigh.

  “You okay Baby?” I asked her, lips against her temple, god her skin and hair were silky soft and I loved the feel against my lips!

  “Mmm I just wish Cutter were happy like us, he seems restless, like he needs something to ground him,” she said and I nodded. I had known the feeling, then this spritely little thing had bounded out of the locker room door behind my best friend’s girl and I was smitten. Bitten by the love bug something fierce. Cupid had me over a barrel when I’d seen Hayden and I can’t say that I was sorry. The monster inside my head had never been quieter than these last few weeks, even if it was rearing its ugly head. Something about Hayden just balanced me out.

  We basked in front of the fire, content to listen to the conversation and laughter around us. My eyes were distant, slightly unfocused as I stared into the hypnotizing flames which is why I felt rather than saw them coming. Like a thunderstorm rolling in across the sky, their energy crackled just the same. Dragon and Dray strode across the sand, expressions grim, eyes smoldering, fury swirling the air around them, a palpable thing, like if you put out your hand you would feel the press of it long before you touched one of them.

  Dragon looked like shit. He and Zander had squared off in the fights a few hours ago and they’d let each other have it. Zander had proven that he wouldn’t or couldn’t back down and had ultimately laid out our Pres. Something that had never happened before. He’d helped Dragon to his feet after the stunner and Dragon had conceded the match proclaiming that getting hit by Zander had been a revelation. Now he strode across the sand, anger crackling around him like a cloud looking like he’d been through the wringer. Both eyes blacked, lips swollen, a cut over his eyebrow that had crusted to a scab, fists with the knuckles all swollen. He looked like he was comin’ straight out of hell but what’s more he looked stone cold sober. Which he never was after a good fight.

  “What the fuck?” Trigger said out loud and I grunted. What the fuck indeed. Hayden’s eyes snapped open as tension radiated through me, my arms locking around her.

  “Reave, Trig, you’re needed at the cabin. Club business. Bring your women,” Dragon said through his swollen lips, and my brows snapped down into a frown. We didn’t involve the women in club business, ever, unless…

  “Come on Baby, up you go.” I thrust Hayden to her feet and scrambled up after her. One of the girls had to be hurt. If it wasn’t Sunshine, and Dray looked pissed but not like he was going to blow a mother fucking gasket… He wouldn’t be here if it were Irish… that left Chandra and… my blood went cold and I picked up my pace.

  “What happened?” I demanded and Dray shot his Pops a look.

  “Told you he’d figure it out,” Dragon said sourly.

  “What the fuck happened to my cousin!?” I demanded again and Hayden gasped. Ashton started running and then we were all running. Cutter was standing outside the front door talking to Tiny who looked grim.

  “Shelly!” I shouted and burst through the front door. She was sitting at the table, Doc was beside her, gently taking her blood pressure. My cousin was staring off into space, eyes glazed on a fixed point somewhere out in the ether. Her lip was busted and bleeding, her tank’s strap torn on one side, a sheet had been draped over her lap. I fisted both hands in my hair. That fucking sheet! That goddamned fucking sheet!

  I punched a wall and screamed. Hayden jumped and stared at me wide eyed and open mouthed. I went to my cousin and knelt on the floor in front of her. Tears welled in her eyes, glistening, turning the blue of her eyes, so like my own, into twin glowing sapphires. They spilled over and tracked crystalline down her cheeks.

  “Shelly, Shelly, Baby, Cuz, who did this?” I asked I took her hands into mine but she remained steadfastly mute. Broken. The screen door slammed closed behind me and jumped twice in the frame but I didn’t turn.

  “Shelly come on, come on Cuz, who did this, please Baby, tell me who I promise I’ll kill him, I promise for you. I’d kill anybody for you. Come on Shells, just a name. Talk to me Shelly, please? Please!?” I stroked my thumbs over the backs of her hands and her eyes flicked to mine.

  “Reaver?” she asked and sounded far away. She broke down in a sob and Irish was suddenly there, and Sunshine.

  “Yeah Cuz, I’m here,” I said and she yanked her hands out of mine and clung to Irish and just, howled. Weeping bitter broken wracking sobs, parts of her soul just pouring out her eyes and simply lost for fucking ever. Someone was gonna fucking die. Slowly, painfully and
in a lot of fucking fear. The switch just flipped in my head, decision made, humanity just fucking gone. I instantly calmed and welcomed the monster, let him rush to the surface, all the anger all the pain suddenly just so much static inside my head. I turned slowly and Trigger looked resigned, so did Dragon and Dray. I smiled at peace and with such serenity now that there was no emotion getting in my way.

  I took in a deep breath, in through my nose and out through my mouth and was fully into that quiet place inside my head where I went when I killed. Question was, who was I killing?

  “I want to know who did it,” I said and my voice was calm, pleasant even.

  “It was Sparks,” a quiet mouse like voice, almost too quiet to hear, from the door way. All my brothers turned as one.

  “Who the fuck are you?” Dray demanded.

  “Tonya?” Hayden asked, “Honey, what do you know?” My woman went to the girl who was bundled down deep into a sweatshirt too many sizes too big.

  “He’s been talking about her all weekend. About how he hasn’t been able to get his mind off her since he first saw her. How he couldn’t wait to…” Tonya sobbed. “I saw him grab her, I followed them into the woods but Sparks, he’s big, he’s mean, and he’d hurt me if he knew I was here!” I saw Tiny and Cutter through the screen. Cutter nodded once to me.

  “You have the Kraken’s backing. We’ll be back,” he said and he and Tiny clattered down the steps. Ashton went to the woman, Tonya, and took her from Hayden. Irish was rocking Shelly making soothing noises.

  “Stay here with Doc,” I told the women coldly and went out front with Trig, Dragon and Dray. Ghost, Zander and Squick were coming up the path.

  “Squick stay with the girls. Shoot anyone not wearing Sacred Hearts or Kraken colors that tries to go in there,” Dragon ordered. Squick nodded and went into the cabin.

  “This is going to start a war,” Dray said coldly.

  “Do I look like I fucking care?” I asked and everyone startled and looked at one another then me.

  “Did I say I did? It’s Shelly in there.” Dray shifted uncomfortably. Shit that’s right, they’d gotten it on a few times back in the day. Before Irish. I sniffed and gave him a nod. He nodded back. Apology accepted now it was time to move the fuck on.

  “Glad we’re unanimous on this one. Reaver, she’s your cousin you do the honors, when we find the son of a bitch we’ll gladly hold him down for you,” Dragon said, there were grunts of agreement all around.

  “What’s the plan?” Trig asked wearily, pinching the bridge of his nose.

  “Find him, separate him, fucking beat the shit out of him?” Zander asked.

  “No, he’s dying my way,” I said.

  “Hate shittin’ where we eat but there’s a lot of woods and water out there. If ever there were a place to do a kill it’s here. Still, too fucking close to home for my tastes,” Dragon said.

  “He dies. Here. Tonight,” Ghost said hollowly and our eyes met. I nodded. Yep, if ever I had an ally in this, Ghost was it.

  “Beggin’ your pardon,” we all twisted and took in Pyro standing at the edge of the path, “Got a present for you boys,” he said coldly. We followed him.

  Sparks was being held in a clearing against a narrow tree by several of the Kraken. Cutter smiled at me and I nodded back a cold thanks.

  “K boys. Our work here is done,” he said to his crew. Dragon went forward and hitched Sparks’ arms behind him around the tree and held him.

  “Dray get over here an’ keep him quiet,” Dragon ordered. Dray brought out a bandanna and wrapped one end around his fist, he stood taller than Dragon; he stood behind his Pops, looping the bandanna through Sparks’ teeth before wrapping the other end around his other fist.

  “See you back at the cabin,” Cutter saluted and the Kraken left the clearing. Trig stood square at my back, arms crossed and Zander mirrored him on my other side. Ghost went up to Sparks and spit in his face.

  “You motherfucker!” he said low and heated and buried his fist in Sparks’ gut but Sparks’ eyes were on me, defiant. I smiled my coldest smile and slipped one of my blades free, flicking the switch, the snick of the blade coming free was loud in the quiet of the clearing.

  “What did you think was going to happen?” I asked him. Dray took the bandana from his teeth so he could answer.

  “Fuck you! What’s it to you anyways? She’s just some mouthy dumb club whore!” Ghost hit him, a stiff right hook and I think I saw a tooth fly. I laughed. Sparked glared at me and I got up into his face.

  “They say the eyes are the window to the soul mother fucker. What do you see in mine?” I demanded and he looked, I mean really looked and blanched. Oh yeah! There it was. He wasn’t so defiant anymore. I drank in the first curling of fear that appeared in his eyes and smiled broader.

  “She your sister or some shit?” he demanded, and the fear coming off of him lightly perfumed the air.

  “Or something,” I said enigmatically, and went to work. I sliced his thin tee down the middle making slow work of slicing the material from his body, out from under his cut.

  “What the fuck you gonna do?” he asked, voice thick with false bravado. They always tried to act tough. It bored me some.

  “I’m gonna do whatever the fuck I wanna do. You’re mine asshole,” I whispered and chuckled.

  “You’re a sick fucker ain’t you?” he demanded with the same false bravado.

  “You have no idea Princess,” Dray grated and I smiled wider. I think our VP was getting the hang of the whole fear factor because Sparks visibly paled, sweat popping out on his brow.

  “So what? You strip me, you beat me, what?” Sparks was way off base.

  “Nope. You touched her, you die slow,” Ghost muttered coldly. Yeah my brothers had my back in this. I let the monster out to play I really did, no holds barred I glutted on Sparks’ fear. First his tee shirt went under my blade.

  “Get his pants,” I said coldly and Sparks began to struggle. I mean really struggle. Dragon had a good hold on him though. He opened his mouth to scream and fight as Ghost undid his belt and I jerked my chin at Dray. He pulled the bandanna tight between Sparks’ teeth and the man’s eyes got wide, real wide showing too much white. I laughed an icy hollow soulless sound and gave myself completely to the darkness inside me. My atonement for not protecting Shelly. It wasn’t enough. It would never be enough but still… Ghost pantsed the Suicide Kings’ President and I stepped in close, bodies nearly touching.

  “First I’m going to carve you up, let everyone know that you’re a rapist piece of shit,” I seethed and he shook his head. I stepped back and started my work, carving into the meat of his chest. It hurt, I know it hurt. He screamed around the bandana in his mouth and thrashed in Dragon’s hold. Ghost and Trig came up on either side and held him back against the tree by his shoulders. Zander acted as a lookout making sure none of his people happened upon us. Retribution would be fucking mine for what he’d done, come Hell or high fucking water and I would not be rushed.

  I carved slowly, deliberately, blood running from the letters down his stomach, damping the nest of curls his shriveled cock was trying to hide in. I’d get there too. Eventually. He slumped halfway through the ‘I’ and my shoulders dropped.

  “Pussy,” Ghost said and he was heated. I had a solution though. I used my blood slicked fingers to pluck an ampule out of my cut and snapped off the top, waving the ammonia stick under his nose. Sparks came to with a jolt and a shout and I smiled.

  “Not done Sweetheart,” I said and resumed carving the word ‘rapist’ in big bold block capital letters. He squirmed and he screamed through the gag and he cried like a little bitch. I wondered, had my cousin cried?

  “Dray!” I barked and he pulled the gag as Sparks threw up. Trigger and Ghost barely dodged in time. Sparks’ head hung limp, lolling back and forth. He moaned and a whimper escaped him. I carved fucking deep. I know I carved muscle. I scraped bone with my blade. I folded the knife and gave it to Ghost who plucked
the bloody offering from my stained fingers. I slipped out my favorite blade and flicked it open. Time for the main event. I didn’t want him to go into shock and die from the word before I had the chance to finish.

  “You’re never going to touch another girl again. You’re gonna die here tonight,” I whispered in his ear and his eyes flared wide. I grabbed him by his junk and he opened his mouth to scream but Dray was too quick. He fought and I squeezed and twisted a little, his eyes rolled back in his head and I eased off, backed off on the twist and grip.

  “No! No no! No. No passing out. Not now, not yet,” I said and I sighed when he stayed with me.

  “Jesus Christ just get it over with Reaver,” Dragon grated. I looked around me and noticed all my brothers were pale, and looking a little sickly. I sliced into Sparks’ ball sack and let his testicles drop free. He screamed muffled by the gag, but still it was this high pitched little girl sound that I found supremely satisfying. The deep woods, night air carried with it the coppery tang of blood as I turned the fucker into a eunuch. Taking off first one ball then the other. Still not fucking satisfied I savagely sawed through his cock and threw it to the ground in a mangled bloody heap. I stepped back and Dragon and Dray let him go, he crumpled to the ground his severed manhood inches from his face and we all stood vigil as he bled to death and died.

  I wiped my bloody hands down the front of my shorts. I hadn’t been wearing a shirt, just my cut and the shorts. I sniffed indifferently down at Spark’s cooling body. It still wasn’t enough. It would never be enough. Fuck.

  Chapter 24

  Hayden…

  They were gone a long time. Everett, Ashton, Chandra and Doc were all in with Shelly. I didn’t know what to do. I wanted to comfort Shelly but she’d flown into a fit when I’d tried to come near and had started screaming at me about how this was partially my fault. How if Reaver hadn’t been so wrapped up in me this wouldn’t have happened to her. It had hurt, it had made me feel bad and I had worried that in some ways, she had been right but I also understood that she was upset and traumatized and... I couldn’t help but sigh. I didn’t know, honestly.