I opened my mouth to reply but my thoughts hadn’t yet formed into anything cohesive so I clamped it closed again. Turning away, I began crunching over the gravel towards my car as I waited for my brain to come up with something. Anything would do!
‘Lexi. Please wait.’
Marco’s longer strides together with the bonus of not having to fight with thin heels on gravel meant that even though I didn’t wait, he was soon beside me. He reached his hand out and caught mine as I laid it on the door handle, ready to pull it open. Keyless entry had its benefits when it came to making quick exits. Beautiful but impractical heels didn’t.
‘I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to surprise you quite that much.’ When I remained silent, he continued, ‘I suppose I wasn’t thinking it would be that much of a surprise. I thought you knew that I’d always wanted to give us a second chance.’
I gave a thoroughly unladylike snort of laughter. ‘Yeah, it was really easy to tell that from the string of women that filtered through the pit garage after we’d split up!’
‘They’re different.’
‘You can say that again.’
‘But that’s why I can’t stop thinking about you. Because you’re not like them at all.’
‘OK, seriously. You need to stop while we’re still friends. All the women you date are ridiculously stunning and although I pride myself on not being vain, being told I’m completely the opposite of gorgeous isn’t what my ego needs to hear right now.’
‘That’s not how I meant it. I loved that I could talk to you about anything, have fun with you, enjoy watching you eat dessert! Do you know how long it is since I dated a woman who ate dessert?’
‘Marco, you can’t enjoy dating women who have amazing figures and then moan that some of them don’t eat as much as you’d like them to!’
‘You have a great figure and still eat.’
‘Flattering as that might be, it’s also complete bollocks. They’re models and actresses and spend half their day working on their bodies. It’s a completely different thing.’
‘I also love the fact that you’re not afraid to tell me when you think I’m talking bollocks. Even when I’m not.’ He grinned and I couldn’t help but smile.
‘Marco, what were you thinking?’ I asked, my voice soft. He tilted his head and gave me a sad look. ‘I was thinking … hoping that you might feel the same way about me as I still do about you.’
I dropped my gaze and shook my head, lifting both to meet Marco’s. ‘I hurt you before and I couldn’t bear to do it again.’
‘Things would be different this time. I know you didn’t enjoy all the same aspects of life but, if you want to know a secret, I’m a little tired of that side of it all too. Perhaps I am finally growing up.’ He gave a wink. Not everyone could pull off a wink. Marco, of course, did it with charm.
‘Marco, I just don’t fit into your world. I never felt like I fitted there.’
‘That’s exactly why you’re so right for me.’
‘But I’m not. We both know that. We’re great together in the good times but not so good in the bad times. It needs to be strong in the good times and the bad.’
I saw his back stiffen as the realisation settled. ‘There is someone else.’
I nodded. ‘Yes. I mean, no …’
Marco frowned at me. ‘You seem confused.’
I sighed.
‘If he doesn’t return your affection then he is an idiot. Believe me, it takes one to know one.’
‘It’s not that. I just can’t risk hurting someone else like I hurt you. And you were never an idiot, Marco.’ I squeezed his arm.
He waggled his head, maybe yes, maybe no. ‘I never should have rushed you. Maybe if I hadn’t …’
‘There’s someone out there much better for you than me – you know that. Someone who likes all the glitz and knows what to do with all those forks at the posh dinners. Someone who fits into your world so much better than me.’
‘You fit fine.’
‘Not really, Marco. We’ve proved that we’re better as friends. And the problems that put our relationship under pressure? They haven’t gone away and I can’t risk losing your friendship, or hurting you like I did before ever again.’
‘I think I’ve learned a lot about myself since you left. I think you taught me a lot about myself. I’m stronger than I was, and I think we could make it work this time.’
‘Marco, please don’t think I don’t care.’
He regarded me for a moment. ‘I have a feeling that whatever I say, you’re not going to change your mind, but will you at least think about it? I promise, it’ll be different this time.’
‘Oh, Marco …’ I sighed sadly, the words sounding thick as I struggled with the emotions tumbling through me.
He gently cupped my face, wiping a rogue tear away with his leather-gloved thumb. ‘Don’t cry,’ he said, pulling me close, ‘I never meant to upset you.’
‘I always promised I’d never hurt you or anyone like this again, and I’ve still managed to do it.’
‘No, no,’ he said, gathering me into him, and rocking me in a gentle motion as if soothing a child. ‘I just had to ask. And you’ve said you’ll think about it. That’s all that can be done. I would never want you to do something that will make you unhappy. I’ve seen you unhappy and it broke my heart. I’ve learned from that, I promise. And I’ve already seen that going home, working in your family’s business, all that has the possibility of making you happier than I’ve ever seen you.’
‘You’ve seen?’ I asked, pulling back to look up at him.
‘I had been thinking about you. And then I saw the Facebook photos.’
‘What photos?’
‘The ones of the Christmas event on your family’s business page. You were dressed up like a little elf. So cute.’ He laughed and cuddled me again. ‘In one, you were talking to a man. Tall, very good-looking.’
I knew getting Mum that camera with the zoom lens was going to come back to bite me one day. Social media wasn’t really my favourite thing, and my brother Matt tended to take care of that for the business, although Mum had rather got into it, and loved adding photos. The one Marco had seen being a case in point.
I tried to be casual about it all. ‘Late-night shopping events can be busy. I spoke to lots of people.’
‘Were they all gazing adoringly at you like he was?’
I snapped my head up. ‘What?’
‘Tall, muscular, dark. There was a child with him in one of the photos. Is he the man you’re not sure if you’ve met or not?’ His mouth was teasing but there was hesitation in his eyes.
‘He is. But he most certainly wasn’t gazing at me, adoringly or otherwise.’
Marco gave me a look that I knew of old. It meant “you can say what you like but I’m sticking my heels in on this one”.
‘Anyway, it’s complicated.’
‘I saw the way he was looking at you. There’s nothing complicated about that.’
‘There really is.’
‘Is he married?’
‘No! Of course not!’
‘Then he’s single.’
‘Yes.’
‘And so are you.’
‘Yes.’
Marco spread his hands. ‘So, where’s complicated?’
I gave him a look under my lashes. ‘You, of all people, know there’s always more to it than that. Anyway, those photos don’t mean anything.’ I blew my fringe up and ran a hand back over my hair. ‘It was just a fun evening. Everyone was smiling and laughing like that.’
Marco leant his forehead against mine. ‘No, Lexi. Not like that. Believe me.’
He released me and opened the door of my car.
‘The other offer still stands. Think about it. Take your time. But really think about it. I know you say you’re happy doing what you’re doing right now, but we both know where your talents lie and that things would be different this time.’
I glanced at my phone to check the time.
‘I ought to get back before I hit too much traffic. Thank you so much for lunch, and it was so wonderful to see you.’ I took his hand for a moment. ‘I promise I will think about it, honestly.’
‘Good.’
Clicking my seatbelt into place, I looked up at him.
‘You know, Lexi, sometimes complicated is worth it. Just remember that.’ With that he closed the door and stood back, allowing me to pull out.
Waving in the mirror as I turned off down the long avenue of the driveway, my mind wanted to start attempting to process everything from the meeting, but as I pulled out of the entrance to the grounds and onto the main road, the weather began to worsen and hail began bouncing off the bodywork and windscreen. My concentration shifted to the road and traffic, with all other thoughts sidelined. For the moment, at least.
Chapter Eighteen
George came barrelling towards me, gave me a big hug, and then charged off into the fray that was my nephew and nieces. The last we saw of him was a blond head bobbing about in a ball of giggling arms and legs. Cal watched for a moment, but as George hadn’t given him a backwards glance as he piled into the game, he seemed to accept that his son was happy and safe and would come and find him if he needed him.
‘Man, they’re loud.’ Cal laughed as we both took a seat on the sofa in the next room.
I gave a chuckle. ‘They can be.’ I held up my hands. ‘Welcome to my world.’
Mum wandered past with a beer in one hand and a tray of canapé-style snacks in the other – a precursor to the party dinner for my youngest brother’s birthday.
‘I’ll take those, Mum,’ I said, beginning to rise from my seat and reach for the tray as she handed Cal a drink.
Mum lifted the tray away from me with the expertise of a waitress in a busy Parisian brasserie.
‘Oh no you don’t. You stay here and talk to Cal. I’m just fine.’
‘He doesn’t mind, Mum. Let me help. Please!’ I fixed her with a private look. I had my pride but there were occasions I wasn’t above begging, if only with my eyes. Now was a prime example.
‘I mind,’ Mum said, completely ignoring my pleading look. ‘Now, do as you’re told and stay put.’ She whipped a paper plate from the stack on a nearby end table, plopped an assortment of nibbles from her tray onto it, and placed it on my lap. ‘Here. Eat. Talk … etc.’ She gave us a wink and glided off, serene and gentle in the midst of the chaos around her, as always. And loving every minute.
‘Right. Good. It’s a good job this isn’t awkward or anything then,’ I mumbled and risked a sideways glance at Cal. He returned it with a small smile before turning away and beginning to make inroads on the food Mum had put in front of him.
Pretending to be distracted from conversation by our food, we watched as Mum stopped by Dad and Dan and they both took some goodies. As she left, Dad tapped her on the bum. Dan looked over at me and we exchanged an eye roll just before George and my nephew Harry launched themselves at Dan and began crawling all over him and battling to be crowned the King of Tickles.
Cal looked over, his face showing some concern. ‘I should get him –’ I put my hand on his arm.
‘He’s fine.’
‘Oh, I know! It’s not George I’m worried about. It’s Dan! It’s all very well my son clambering over me, but he really needs to learn not to do it to others. They might not appreciate it.’
I watched the three for a moment, and my dad looking on, joining in with the laughter emanating from all three of them.
‘Do you think Dan looks like he minds?’
‘Well, no but …’
Claire, who had been nearby, came and leant on the armrest next to me.
‘Hi. You feeling better?’
‘Yeah. Thanks.’
She was still looking a bit peaky at times to me but I let it go. Dan worshipped his wife and if he thought there was anything up, he’d be taking care of it. Claire smiled over at Cal. ‘Please don’t worry. Ever since the children became friends with George, he’s like one of them and Dan treats them all the same, and loves them all the same. As if they were his own. So long as you don’t mind, then I can assure you, being trampled on by small people always brightens his day.’
She gave us a smile and I took her hand briefly.
‘Ooh!’ I squinched up my face. ‘You might have to revise that last comment.’ All three of us looked over to where the two boys were now sat on my dad, one on each knee, watching Dan whose eyes were watering as he sat quietly with his knees drawn together and a pained look on his face.
‘Oh dear.’ She pulled a face but the grin shone through. ‘Silly bugger. I’ve told him he needs to wear a cup.’
‘Please send on my apologies if it turns out to have been my child damaging the family jewels.’
Claire laughed, gave my hand the tiniest of squeezes, and headed over to offer moral support to her husband.
Cal frowned. ‘That looks painful.’
I waved a hand. ‘He’ll get over it.’
We managed to keep things light and friendly between us, if not entirely natural. Although I’d wanted to give him an explanation, I still wasn’t sure how I felt about my outpouring the other night and I was more than a little relieved when Mum called us all to the dining room.
‘Dinner’s ready!’ she hollered in a voice that belied her delicate stature and build. It still amazed me that this slight and very feminine woman had produced men the size of my brothers. I’d got my build from Mum but the grease monkey side of me was all Dad.
Cal was next to me. My family were not only generous, but also had a wide streak of persistence.
With dinner and pudding demolished and the kitchen now looking like a small war had taken place in it, Mum and I returned to the dining room bearing a very large birthday cake. I’d tucked my hair down the back of my dress so that it didn’t dangle in any of the thirty-four candles as we placed it carefully in front of Joe.
‘Make a wish, darling!’ Mum chirped, landing a big kiss on her youngest boy’s temple as she said it.
Joe grinned, and laughed at some of the suggestions being helpfully offered as to what he should wish for. I slanted my eyes to Cal for a moment and saw the joy in his face at being a part of it all. Returning my gaze to Joe, I watched as he cast a glance at Dan and Claire before returning his focus to the cake. With an enormous breath, Joe blew out every single candle. I knew exactly what he’d wished for. I only hoped that it came true.
Despite its size having required two of us to lift it, the cake was nearly now all gone and so was much of the wine, which accounted for the fact the volume had kicked up another notch or two. Looking down the table to where the kids were all sat, George seemed to be thoroughly enjoying himself and as Cal’s deep laugh burst next to me at the conversation he was immersed in with Matt, I guessed Cal was too. Across from me, Joe and Dan had inevitably turned the conversation to cars and racing and having dealt with touring cars and rallying, had now moved on to Formula One.
‘You know it’s a pain in the bum not having any inside gossip any more, Lex.’
I gave them a quick eyebrow raise. ‘Sorry about that.’
‘Don’t you know anything about what’s going on? Who might be the team to back this year?’
‘You should back the team you choose because you support them, not just because they’re winning.’
‘When you’re having a little flutter on the championship that thinking – although noble – isn’t exactly the best strategy.’
‘Oh, Joseph, you know I don’t like you betting.’ Mum frowned at him.
‘It’s just one thing, Mum. I do it every year for a bit of fun. That’s all.’
‘I guess there’s no point betting on Marco Benoit to win the driver’s championship again though,’ Joe said.
I felt Cal’s eyes on me for a moment as I squished up some cake crumbs on my plate with a fork.
‘You don’t reckon he’ll do it again then?’ Dan asked.
‘Bit hard if h
e isn’t even driving.’
‘You think he’s definitely retiring then?’
‘That’s what the rumour mill is saying. Nothing’s actually been announced yet but according to some of the sites, he’s quitting driving and starting up his own team. Been cherry-picking the top staff from other teams to join him.’
Dan looked over. ‘Any of that true, Lex?’
I rolled my eyes. ‘I’ve told Joe before half of the stuff on those sites is just made up.’
‘Which means half of it isn’t,’ he countered. ‘So is it?’
‘What?’
‘True?’
I shrugged.
Dan and Joe each gave me one of those looks that can only ever be exchanged between siblings.
‘So, when you met him for lunch the other day, he didn’t tell you anything or offer you a job?’ Joe asked.
Beside me I felt Cal stiffen. When I didn’t answer, Dan prompted me. ‘Did he then? Offer you a job?’
I took a swig of wine in an effort to stall and seem casual about it all. Which ordinarily I would have done. In fact, ordinarily I would have been doing cartwheels at an opportunity like Marco had offered me. But something had changed since I’d been home, and none of the decisions I was making seemed to feel as right as they should. I’d caught the look on my mum’s face when Joe had asked if Marco had offered me a job. All of which meant that I was now feeling the very opposite of calm and casual. Shit.
The chatter from the adults had now subsided and pretty much everyone was looking at me, waiting for a reply. Everyone except Cal. He had his head down and was studying the pattern on the plate with the intensity of a man memorising it for forgery purposes.
I cleared my throat. ‘As a matter of fact, he did. But I haven’t taken it yet.’
‘But you’re going to?’ Joe said.
‘What did he offer you?’ Dan asked.
I let out a sigh. ‘Chief Race Engineer for his new team. He’s announcing his retirement and the new team in a press conference tomorrow.’
‘Chief Race Engineer,’ Mum echoed. ‘Well, that’s marvellous, dear. It’s what you’ve always wanted, isn’t it?’
The Best Little Christmas Shop Page 22
