‘Are we late? Did we miss it all?’ Giselle rushed into the kitchen, Xander following.
‘No, darlings. We’re just about to take everything through to the dining room. You’re right on time,’ Mum said, giving them a flush-faced squeeze as she bustled about.
‘Oh good,’ Giselle replied, draping her dusky pink wool swing coat over the back of a chair, eyeing the two men flanking me as she did so. ‘Hello, gorgeous,’ she said, hugging me, ‘everything all right?’ Her eye contact was direct and her words were loaded.
‘Yep. Fine, thanks,’ I replied, knowing I wasn’t fooling her for a moment. ‘How are you?’
She flapped a perfectly manicured hand before laying it on her stomach. ‘I’m great. Well, apart from wishing this baby would find somewhere more comfortable to sit than on my bladder. Marco, isn’t it? We met at one of the races.’ Giselle held out her hand and Marco took it, lifting it to his lips instead of shaking it. I made a groaning noise. Marco and Giselle looked at me. Cal and Xander laughed.
‘That was out loud, wasn’t it?’ I pulled a face.
‘’Fraid so, Muppet.’
‘He’s being charming.’ Giselle laughed her tinkly laugh. There was no way she’d ever cheat on Xander but I guess she appreciated – and knew what to do with – charming manners when she came across them.
‘All my charm is, sadly, quite lost on Lexi.’
I rolled my eyes at him and then looked at Giselle. ‘Believe me, he isn’t always that charming. He can actually be a proper diva at times.’
‘Ah! I disagree.’ Marco’s eyes twinkled with amusement. ‘I have been known to be upset … but I have never slid down the slope to divaship. When you have engineers who tell you to stop being such … what is the phrase you favour again?’ He glanced at me, tapping his chin in mock thought, ‘oh yes, “an arse”, it is a little difficult to believe that you are particularly special.’
‘To be fair, I never said it that much.’
‘To be fair, I think I probably deserved it when she did.’ He spoke to the small group we had now formed.
‘Right, everyone! Into the dining room please. Cal, Dan, Xander, can you take these please?’ Mum directed the boys to the last of the items to be taken through and we headed into dining room, mouths watering with the aromas drifting from the dishes in the middle of the table.
***
‘Thanks for sorting this all, Mum. I know it was all a bit of a last-moment thing,’ Dan began once we’d all eaten far too much and were sat lounging in our chairs, vaguely wondering how we’d ever move again. ‘And thanks to you all for coming. Claire and I have something to share, and we wanted to tell everyone we love all at the same time.’
Various murmurs went around the table as glances were exchanged. Marco, next to me leaned in. ‘I feel as though I am intruding.’ I laid my hand on his arm briefly and shook my head. He didn’t say anything more but it was the first time I’d ever seen him not feeling totally at ease.
‘And, Marco –’ Dan smiled at him ‘– you’re just as welcome. Everyone knows you might be about to whisk our Lexi away with a much-deserved promotion.’ He glanced at me as he made this point. ‘But if it makes her happy, then we forgive you.’
Marco smiled and gave an accepting, grateful nod.
‘For the most part,’ Dan finished, winking at me.
I rolled my eyes at him and returned the smile, trying to scrunch down the feelings churning inside of me. I’d made my decision. It was the right one. I knew it was. The sensible one. So why did I have an overwhelming urge to throw myself on the floor and wail like a toddler that I didn’t want to go?
‘You OK?’ Cal, on the other side of me, whispered close to my ear as, momentarily, the others talked around us.
I nodded without turning my head, doing my best to ignore the little rockets of wanting his warm breath on my skin kicked off.
‘So,’ Dan started again, ‘I expect some of you might have already guessed why we’re here. But if you could still act surprised, that’d be great,’ he said, taking his wife’s hand and laughing. She rested her head on his shoulder and he kissed the top of her hair. ‘Claire and I have some news.’ We waited as he reached an arm under the table and produced a small, blue teddy bear, which he then sat in front of him. A moment of silence surrounded us as we took in the meaning, smiles forming, tears spilling, and laughter bubbling as we all shared in a joy that had been so wanted and so deserved, and so long in coming.
Beneath the table, Cal’s hand slid to mine. He leant closer. ‘Are you OK?’ he asked, the noise around us concealing his question from the others.
I turned, grateful for his thoughtfulness, and for a moment forgetting that we were supposed to be keeping our distance, being sensible.
‘Yes! Yes, I am,’ I replied, tears streaming down my cheeks, taking the remnants of the day’s mascara with it. ‘It’s wonderful. Perfect. Oh, Cal, they’ve waited for this for such a long time!’
Cal nodded, smiling. I knew what he was thinking. That I might find the news hard. And I could understand that. But I also knew the struggle that Dan and Claire had had, the pain, the stress, the disappointments, the heartbreak. It had formed a bond between us that strengthened the joys and deepened the heartaches each of us experienced.
‘Do you need this?’ he asked, offering me his napkin.
I giggled through the happy tears. ‘No, I’m OK for now. But thank you.’ He smiled, gave another gentle squeeze of my hand, and then withdrew his own.
‘And everything is … OK?’ Mum asked the question lurking in all our minds.
‘Fingers crossed, yes,’ Dan answered. ‘Claire’s over four months already. We just didn’t want to get our, or anyone else’s hopes up too early, which is why we’ve been a bit sneaky about it – for which I apologise. Had it been summer, Claire hiding underneath big jumpers might not have been such a viable option.’ Dan grinned and gave his wife another kiss, the love and happiness beaming out of them like sunshine on a cold winter’s day.
‘We went for a check-up today and they’re extremely happy with the progress and everything’s looking great. We’re sorry we hid it from you all up to now, but we know you understand. Once we got the news today though, we wanted to tell every special person in our lives as soon as possible,’ Claire said, picking up the thread as Dan’s eyes shone with emotion. He wasn’t the only one. Napkins had turned into handkerchiefs almost without fail around the entire table. Mum had now appropriated Dad’s as well, leaving him to use his sleeve to wipe the tears brimming in his eyes.
‘Congratulations!’ Marco raised his glass, jerking us all into action, and the sentiment echoed loudly in the large dining room as we all toasted the parents to be and the new life that would be with us before we knew it.
‘There’s just one more thing,’ Dan added, placing another bear on the table beside the first, this one soft pink in colour.
‘Twins?’ Mum’s voice was barely a whisper. It was as though the whole room had stopped breathing.
Dan nodded, the brightest, most beautiful smile I’ve ever seen lighting his face. Cal, his own eyes glittering with emotion, turned as I lost it completely and, without a word, held out his napkin to me.
Chapter Twenty-One
The room was so full of happiness, it almost felt tangible. Mum had barely stopped crying and the rest of us weren’t far behind. Cal was standing chatting with my dad, Dan’s arm slung across his shoulder as a bubble of laughter broke from them and I was happy to see him caught up in the joy despite the undercurrent of unhappiness I knew I’d help place in his heart.
‘I should go.’ Marco leaned in to me to make himself heard. ‘Your fabulous weather is getting worse and I have a flight to catch early tomorrow.’
I laughed, turning to him, the outline of his face seeming slightly fuzzier than it had earlier. Having a large family, my dad always believed in having a box of champagne in the house in the event that it might be needed for emergency celebrations.
This definitely constituted an emergency celebration and as such, he had been circling the room topping off glasses on every pass. I had the distinct feeling that mine had been topped off more than I originally thought.
‘You own the plane, Marco. It’s not likely to go without you.’
He made a conciliatory gesture with his hands, lifting his palms. ‘True. But still.’
I studied him for a moment, tilting my head to the side before realising that wasn’t such a great idea for my balance. Marco steadied me and waited.
‘Why did you come?’ I asked. ‘I mean, here. Tonight. Not that I’m complaining. You’re my friend. I love to see you. Obviously …’ I struggled with the “s” for a moment, won and carried on. ‘But why tonight?’
Marco lifted the glass from me, and taking a hand that had until moments ago been happily employed in lifting alcohol, led me away from the others and out to the kitchen. Under-cabinet lights cast a cosy, soft glow into the room kept warm by the Aga. On the far side, a net of white fairy lights like I’d helped Cal put up in his kitchen, twinkled prettily, adding to the comforting feel. Apollo was sprawled out next to the oven, snoring softly. I smiled as we passed him, pausing for a moment and causing Marco to wait too as he kept hold of my hand. Bending, I gave the dog a gentle rub, then leaned forward to plop a kiss on his head. I swayed as I overbalanced, and Marco hauled me up.
‘I don’t think he’d appreciate you flattening him while he’s trying to sleep.’
‘He does it to me all the time.’ I put a finger to my lips. ‘But don’t tell Mum. He’s not supposed to be on the bed.’
Marco let go of my hand, placed his own either side of my face, and kissed my forehead. ‘I’m fairly sure she already knows. I get the feeling she doesn’t miss much.’
I blinked. ‘What did she say to you?’
‘Actually, nothing. Not like you’re implying, anyway.’
‘Look, Marco, I know what I’m doing.’
‘Do you?’
I squinted, the effects of the alcohol suddenly receding a little. ‘Yes.’
‘Which is what?’
I ran a hand back over my hair. ‘You made me two very lovely offers, Marco. Offers anyone in my position would be stupid to turn down.’
‘But you’re going to.’ A statement rather than a question.
‘No.’ I saw the flicker of something behind his eyes. ‘Well, one of them.’
He gave a small smile. ‘I have a feeling I know which one you are turning down.’ There was a resignation to his expression. He’d known the answer before he’d even got here. I could see that.
‘I am sorry, Marco. I just don’t think that’s the right thing for either of us.’
We stood together in silence for a moment before Marco prompted me on. ‘And the other offer?’
‘I’m going to take the job. You and I both know I’m the best person for it.’
‘I agree that for the team you are definitely the best person. You have talent and I trust you. But I have to say – I don’t think this is perhaps the best thing for you. At least not right now.’
‘It is! It’s the perfect thing, and especially right now! Marco, I need this. Don’t you dare change your mind on me.’
‘Lexi …’
‘Is this because I don’t want to get back together with you?’
His perfect teeth showed in a smile, sudden and genuine. ‘You really think I would be that petty?’
I blew out a sigh. ‘No. I don’t even know why I said that. Blame the champagne.’
‘I’m not blaming anyone. Or anything. It was a fair question. Yes, I regret that you feel we couldn’t make things work between us. And yes, I still think you’re beautiful and funny and love that you have no pretensions or airs or –’
‘Legs up to my armpits,’ I added, remembering that aside from me, he tended to have a predilection for such features in his girlfriends.
‘Such legs can sometimes be over-rated.’
‘Oh really.’ My tone was firmly set to “sceptical”.
‘I didn’t say always.’ The boyish grin he gave illustrated how so many of those endless legs had ended up wrapped around him over the years. He was handsome, amusing, intelligent, and fiercely passionate about the world he operated in. It made quite the package. But it wasn’t a package I wanted to open again. I loved Marco; that was true. But not in the way I needed to in order to make things work between us.
I looked up at him. ‘Are you really taking back your offer?’
He studied me for a moment then carefully and gently brushed my overgrown fringe back from my eye with his thumb, his hand resting on my face. ‘You can’t keep running away, Lexi.’
‘I’m not running away from anything!’ I said, pushing his hand away sharply.
‘Aren’t you?’
‘No! And don’t think you can come here, spend a couple of hours with me, and then presume to know everything, because you don’t.’
In contrast to me, Marco remained calm, just as he did on the track. ‘I’m not presuming anything. And you know I know you better than that. We went through a lot together, Lexi. Good and bad. I know when you’re happy and I know when you’re sad, however much you disguise it.’
I looked down at my feet, scrunching my toes back and forth on the end of the rug.
‘I know it drives you crazy to think there are people who see beyond that tough-cookie shell you try and project.’
Lifting my gaze, I gave him a wary look.
‘It’s time to stop running, Lexi. It’s time to let your guard down and risk everything.’
His dark eyes locked on to mine, as he nodded his head back towards the sounds of laughter and chatter drifting out from the dining room. ‘Do you want to talk about it?’
‘Nope.’
‘Well, there’s a surprise.’
My eyes blazed. ‘What’s that supposed to mean?’
Marco shrugged. ‘You never want to talk about it. You prefer to pack it all away and pretend it’s not there, even though it’s eating away at you!’
‘I do talk about things. Sometimes.’
‘So, have you talked about things with Cal?’
‘Plenty of things. And what does this have to do with you offering me a job?’
‘Because I am not going to be responsible for you running away from something that could bring you all the happiness you’ve ever wanted.’
I shook my head and felt my insides twist.
‘I can’t make him happy, Marco.’ My voice felt sore and sounded hoarse. The absolute joy of Claire and Dan’s announcement contrasted with the perfect misery of how things were – had to be – with Cal. Between all of it, I was suddenly exhausted. To my surprise, Marco laughed. I screwed up my face at him, shocked, but before I could say anything – or do anything – he caught my hands and lifted them as one to his lips.
‘Oh, Lexi.’ He smiled. ‘As much as it pains me to say, that guy is crazy about you. You can see it in every glance he steals at you, every word he speaks to you, every touch. I don’t know what’s happened between you exactly but at the moment, you both look thoroughly miserable. And thoroughly in love. Whatever it is, it can be fixed.’
I shook my head. Dan and Claire’s news this evening had broken the careful dam of protection I kept my emotions behind, taking us all by surprise. I hadn’t had time to make sure all the leaks were plugged and now Marco was chipping away at it even more.
‘It can’t, Marco,’ I replied, my voice cracking, ‘not this.’
Marco took my hands. ‘You know he loves you, right?’
I blinked and a tear breached position, sliding down my face and off my chin, landing on the back of Marco’s tanned hand.
‘And you love him.’ It wasn’t a question but I answered anyway.
‘Yes.’
‘Then you have everything you need. I’ll admit I had hopes for us. I’ve been trying to find the right way to ask you about starting over again for a while. And then I saw those
pictures of you on Facebook. I saw the way he was looking at you. And the way you were looking at him.’ He gave me a sheepish glance. ‘I’m not accustomed to losing … I had to try. But I also know when I’m beaten. I know I could never make you as happy as he does, no matter how hard I tried. It’s clear you do the same for him. Don’t waste that, Lexi.’
‘I’m not!’ I cried, giving up on any semblance of pretence now. ‘I mean, I don’t want to! Do you honestly think I’ve not lain awake every night trying to think of a way to change the way things are? Do you think I’d let him go if I had any other choice at all? For God’s sake, Marco, I love him! So much that it makes my chest hurt even to think about it, but I have to let him go. For his sake.’
‘Why?’
I swallowed, my throat raw and uncomfortable. ‘You know why,’ I replied, quieter now.
‘You’ve discussed it?’
‘Yes.’
‘And?’
‘And, like the alpha male he is, he thinks that the normal rules don’t apply to him. That he can beat the odds! Like you did, and look how well that worked out!’
He gave me a look, and the fight went out of me.
‘I saw Cal tonight, just before dinner. He was watching my big, noisy, chaotic family and I could see it in his face – how much that means to him, having that. He’s already said that’s exactly what he wants for George. And I know he wants it too. Needs it. He had a horrible childhood and he’s a wonderful father to George, and would be to any child. I can’t be the one to break those dreams. I won’t.’
‘Lexi, you could never break anyone’s dreams. It’s just not in you.’
‘Marco. This is the way it has to be. I take the job with you, put a permanent distance between us, and give him the chance to find the person he’s really meant to be with.’
‘Listen to me.’ Marco’s voice took on a tone that I’d only ever heard him use when he was really, really mad. During all the time I’d known him, he’d never once used it on me. Until now. ‘You know as well as me that life can be short. We’ve seen it. One day you think you have your whole life ahead of you and then, that’s it. I missed having that moment by inches and you were witness to that.’
The Best Little Christmas Shop Page 25
