I finally headed upstairs and passed the bathroom on the way to my bedroom. It hadn’t taken us long to fall back into our old habits. Cole would use the bathroom first. He always complained that I took way too long in there, so I had always let him go first.
It had been that way for as far back as I could remember. He also used to complain about how all my ‘girly’ stuff took over the sink. Now that he wasn’t home, my girly stuff was everywhere. I had forgotten to remove it.
While I waited for him to finish in the bathroom, I changed into my pajamas. Just in case Cole happened to make good on his promise to wake me up in the morning, I chose a very conservative pair – a flannel top and pants with a tiny snowflake design covering them.
The water was still running in the bathroom, so I flopped onto my bed waiting my turn. I knew I would have trouble sleeping tonight. There was no use denying it. With Cole sleeping nearby, and looking so fuckable, I couldn’t help but think about him. Thinking bad stuff. Forbidden stuff. My body was still tingling from the slight brush up against him in the kitchen.
It was going to be one horny and frustrating night. I wouldn’t even be able to use my vibrator without him hearing. We had a shared wall. That our beds rested against. Why was I such a freak? It was so wrong. I would be so totally humiliated if Cole ever found out what I was thinking.
The water finally stopped running. Cole was done. I waited until I heard his bedroom door close. I rolled off my bed and removed my watch and jewelry. I put everything away in their spots and then headed for the bathroom.
From down the hall, I could see that he had left the bathroom light on. He was always doing that; my Dad used to yell at him all the time. I had started to think that Cole was doing it on purpose just to get a rise out of him. The two of them had an uneasy relationship.
I stepped inside the bathroom and froze in my tracks, my mouth falling open in shock. Cole was still in there. He had his back to me and oh, what a magnificent back. I was practically drooling at the sight.
He had no shirt on; he was just wearing sweatpants. And they were hanging low on his hips. Sinfully low. His shoulders were way broader than I remembered and his muscles were toned and well defined. His back narrowed to a trim waist and I swear if his pants dropped any lower I’d see a hint of butt crack.
My God. I couldn’t rip my eyes off him. I backed away hastily; hoping to sneak out before he saw me gawking at him like a lion stared hungrily at a piece of meat only seconds before pouncing.
In my anxiety to escape, my elbow banged against the doorframe. Cole turned around and I knew that I had been busted.
He saw me standing there. “I’m almost done…”
They say time slows down in moments of crisis. That’s exactly what happened to me. In a matter of milliseconds, my brain processed a lifetime worth of observations, before it cut out on me.
Every inch of Cole’s body was imprinted on my memory. He was take-your-breath-away sexy. And, my traitorous body visibly reacted. It was instantaneous - like a switch to a nuclear reactor was flipped inside of me – causing a chain reaction of epic proportions. It hit me full force, even as I simultaneously felt the fiery red heat of embarrassment stain my cheeks.
That was the millisecond before I saw it.
My body knew exactly what it was, even before my brain caught up with that knowledge.
The ink on his chest…
A rush of feverish heat ignited my body. My insides felt like they were combusting.
The swirls and the flames...
A strange whooshing sound, almost like a freight train barreling down on me, began building in my ears.
The circular pattern on his shoulder…
Black spots began to crowd my vision.
The tiny sword hidden in the twisting flames.
Everything was spinning and spinning. The floor tilted wickedly upwards.
The compass tattoo.
Everything went dark. I crumpled into a heap.
Chapter 15
COLE
There were about a thousand types of soaps and lotions in the bathroom, but all I needed was a damn tube of toothpaste. And I couldn’t find one. Ava’s stuff was everywhere. Now that I was out of the house, it looked like the massive amount of her stuff had quadrupled. Twice over.
It was an old argument of ours that I had never won. I pawed through the overstuffed drawer, but still couldn’t find anything. What the hell did she brush her teeth with?
Sighing, I headed back to my room, hoping that I had one of those small toothpaste tubes in my toiletry bag. I was only staying for one night, so I’d just thrown a few necessities into my gym bag.
My mother kind of forced my hand into staying overnight. I knew I couldn’t avoid Ava forever, but staying overnight had seemed too risky. So far, everything seemed to be going alright… except for when I pressed my dick into her ass like a fucking pervert. Jesus. If she only knew half the things I thought about when I was around her, she certainly wouldn’t want her big brother around anymore.
Growing up, I knew she idolized me. She was always following me around; trying to keep up with me. I kind of liked that she was a tomboy, but fuck - was she ever competitive. She was always trying to out run me, out bike me or even out wrestle me, which was a joke because she was always much smaller than me. And she was stubborn. She’d argue until I’d back down out of sheer exhaustion.
Then one day I noticed that she was wearing a bra. Out of the blue. How I fucking hadn’t noticed that she had tits before that – I had no clue, but it changed everything. I started feeling uneasy around her. That’s when things between us started deteriorating.
I knew it was inappropriate for me to think about her that way. She was my sister; I knew it was wrong, but my dick must not have gotten the memo. It was a shameful secret I tried to bury deep even from myself, but somehow my dick knew that we weren’t actually blood related. I wanted Ava.
This revelation about Ava all coincided right about the time that I started acting out. Normal teenaged rebellion, but it caused a shitload of friction in the house. Her dad was like a drill sergeant, always picking at the littlest things, and I couldn’t seem to stop fucking up. Ava always seemed to be around to witness those fuckups, watching from the sidelines with a disappointed look on her face while her Dad reamed me out for the hundredth time.
Ava was the opposite of me. She got good grades, she had good friends, she never broke curfew, she never snuck out of the house - she never did anything wrong. And I couldn’t hate her for it, because more than that, she was a good person. She was nice to everyone. She never saw the bad in anyone. She was so damn trusting and innocent, it was like she came from a different planet.
There were two things I knew about Ava: one - she could drive me crazy in seconds flat with that stubborn streak of hers, and two – she could give me the biggest hard-on with just one innocent glance. I always thought of her as the angel to my devil. And I would do anything to keep the devil away from her.
I dug through my bag and found a travel tube of toothpaste that looked pretty empty. Hopefully I could squeeze out enough to do the trick. I headed back to the bathroom, passing by Ava’s room. It was quiet in there, but her light was on. I wanted to hurry because I knew she was tired and she was waiting for me to finish up in the bathroom.
Something made a noise that caught my attention, so I turned around. It was Ava. She stared at me for a second, like she’d just seen a ghost, and then suddenly, she just flopped to the ground. It was so fast that I couldn’t even catch her; I just watched her collapse to the ground.
I was completely stunned for a second, but then I sprang into action, dropping to her side.
“Ava, what’s wrong?” I was immediately assessing her, checking to see if she was breathing, if she was conscious.
Her eyes were rolling around in her head. She was conscious, but she was really out of it. I scooped her up – she was as light as a feather – and carried her to her bedroom, my mi
nd racing.
I was so scared; I couldn’t even think straight. She was starting to wiggle around a bit, but her eyes were unfocused and glazed over. It was almost like she had just fainted. She had been perfectly normal at church and then we had gotten home and had milk and cookies. I knew she wasn’t drunk, but she definitely looked woozy.
I placed her gently on her bed and sat beside her. Her eyes were becoming clearer, but she still looked out of it.
Feeling helpless, I rubbed her arms. “Ava, what’s wrong? Are you sick? Should I get Mom?”
Well, that certainly jolted some life back into her.
“No! No, no, no, no, no … Oh God, no.” Her head was thrashing back and forth on the pillow, and by the time she finished answering, she sounded as if she were in the deepest pits of despair.
I didn’t know how to help. I didn’t know what to do. It tore at my gut when I saw tears welling up at the corner of her eyes.
“Ava.” I touched her cheek softly, my thumb gently wiping away her tear.
She turned her head away from my hand. She started mumbling incoherently, “No. It can’t… please. You…”
Ava was staring at me, and if I wasn’t such a cocky bastard, I’d say she was looking at me with a mixture of horror and terror. Then she started shaking - her whole body was trembling uncontrollably.
She seemed so scared and fragile; I just wanted to help her - comfort her. I pulled her up against me, rubbing her arms, trying to get some warmth back into her body.
Honestly, I don’t know what the fuck, because it was like putting a cat in a bathtub - she clawed, she hissed, she pounded at my chest. She was completely hysterical. I tightened my grip on her, smashing her against my chest so she wouldn’t hurt herself, but it only made her wilder. And, Jesus Christ, with all the thrashing she was doing, I was getting a giant boner. She was practically on top of my lap; it was so wrong. I was definitely the devil.
“Don’t touch me.” Her words pierced right through me.
I let her go and she scrambled backward on the bed, away from me. If she’d looked like a sweet angel before, now she looked like an avenging angel ready to reign down hell on earth.
I was alarmed by the revulsion I saw in her eyes. “Ava, what’s wrong? I’m just trying to help.”
Her chest was heaving as she stared at me accusingly. “I think you’ve done enough already.”
My stomach was roiling with unease. “What did I do?”
“For starters, you took my virginity… Sir.”
Chapter 16
AVA
Someone was sitting on my bed, and for a moment, I panicked. My eyes flew open, but it was just Marissa. My racing pulse gradually returned to normal.
“Ava, honey.” Marissa’s hand was gently shaking my shoulder. “It’s ten o’clock. Everyone’s waiting to open presents.”
I groaned in agony. “Is Cole still here?”
Marissa put her cool hand on my forehead, checking my temperature. “Of course, dear. You really don’t look so good. You’re very pale. Are you coming down with something?”
“I’m not feeling that great. I think I’m getting a migraine.” It was half true.
“I’ll get you some headache pills.” I could see the concern in her eyes. “I’d hate for you to miss opening presents. Do you think you can come downstairs and just sit on the couch?”
I didn’t want to ruin Marissa’s Christmas, but how could I ever face Cole again? I just kept picturing his face last night. When I had let him in on our dirty little secret, he was so horrified - he looked like he was going to hurl all over my bed. That was somehow the worst part of it all.
Unfortunately, there was no way I could hide from what had happened between us forever. Maybe it was best just to rip this nasty band aid off the giant gaping wound as soon as possible. Maybe I was just insane.
I put on some clothes – I figured everyone was out of their pajamas by ten o’clock – and ran a brush through my hair. I looked like shit, but I really didn’t care. I headed downstairs for what was going to be the most awkward Christmas morning gift exchange in the history of the world.
Marissa jumped up when she saw me enter the family room. “Oh good dear. Here take these. Come sit over here on the couch.”
She handed me something for my headache along with a glass of water. Cole jumped up from the couch as Marissa led me to it. I noticed how he chose a new seat on the opposite side of the room. We were both being super careful not to make any sort of eye contact- whatsoever.
“Marissa, could you get me a cup of coffee? I think the caffeine would help my headache.” I settled into the couch.
“Sure. Then we can open our presents.” She scurried into the kitchen.
Dad hadn’t even peeked out from behind the newspaper. Cole hadn’t said a word. It was going to be a fun morning.
After Marissa came back with my coffee, she started passing out the gifts that were under the tree with an almost fake kind of cheerfulness. No one else seemed to be in the mood.
Marissa was beaming when Cole tried on his leather jacket. “Oh Cole, you look so handsome in it! It fits perfectly. Ava helped me pick it out.”
I was busy picking at imaginary lint on my sweater, but I was covertly watching the whole scene. Cole thanked his mom with a big smile and a kiss on her cheek, but I could tell his smile was strained. Good.
When Marissa was done handing out all of her presents to the family, she knelt down under the tree. “Okay, two more presents to go. Oh, look Cole, this one’s for you. It’s from Ava.”
If I could have snatched the box out of Marissa’s hand and thrown it into the blazing fireplace without looking like a crazy person, I would have done it. Cole mumbled something and took the box from his mother. I was suddenly feeling extremely nauseous. He took forever opening it. I was sweating like a pig.
I had to watch his face. I couldn’t stop myself. He pulled out the compass keychain and fuck he knew. He may have gone a bit paler. It was hard to tell because I was so mortified I thought I’d be sick right on the spot.
“Thanks, Ava.” His voice sounded weak.
Marissa walked over to him. “Let me see… Oh, how beautiful. What a wonderful gift! That was so thoughtful of you Ava.”
I couldn’t even fake an answer. This was so awful.
“One more present. To Ava, From Cole.” Marissa walked over to the couch with the tiny present.
My hand was shaking as I tried to get it open. Cole wasn’t very good at wrapping and had used lots of tape. My fumbling fingers weren’t helping. Finally, the wrapping paper tore off and I opened the small box.
It was a necklace - a silver angel with the letter ‘A’ on each of its wings and a ‘V’ set slightly lower in the center of the angel’s body. It spelled my name. My hands shook as I stared at the gift.
Marissa was hovering over me. “It’s lovely. An angel! Just like our Ava.”
I dropped it back into the box like it had burned me. I was no angel.
Childishly, I picked up the box and threw it at Cole. “I don’t want it.” I hopped off the couch and headed upstairs as fast as I could my head pounding for real now. I heard Marissa consoling Cole as I hit the stairs, “It was a lovely gift, Cole. She’s not feeling well; she’s…”, but I just kept running.
Chapter 17
COLE
I was surprised when Ava came down for Christmas dinner. My mom went up to talk to her and must have convinced her somehow. She looked like she’d been crying; her eyes were puffy and bloodshot. I’m sure she hadn’t slept a wink the night before.
I know I hadn’t. I had lain awake all night thinking about it, hating myself for fucking up so badly and hating that I’d hurt her even worse. It was the biggest fuck up of my life, and that was saying a lot. And, there was absolutely nothing I could do to fix it.
When I had opened the present she had chosen for me, she’d looked downright nauseous. And it was a compass, just like my fucking tattoo - the one she reco
gnized from the club when I was Master Royce. She had bought it for me before she had known. It seemed significant, but the hell if I knew what it all meant. I had to put that one away to ponder later, because she had started opening up my gift to her. And that hadn’t gone over too well.
I spent the afternoon pretending to watch football with her father, but really, my encounters with ‘April’ at the club were playing over and over in my head. I even questioned if maybe I knew on some level. Even if I hadn’t spent that much time with her in years, how could I not know that was Ava? Sure, she had been wearing a giant mask that had covered half of her face, but still?
Every detail of our time together kept flooding back to me, playing on an endless loop. I couldn’t stop remembering. The sex… The spankings… I knew every last inch of her body. Very intimately. And, after all the hurt I’d caused her, I was still a huge douche, because I kept getting colossal fucking boners just remembering.
Yeah, I knew our relationship was forever ruined, but maybe we could figure out a way to coexist peacefully. I wasn’t so sure. I was beginning to wonder if it was best for her if I just walked away for good. I would visit my mom when I could, but only if I was sure Ava wasn’t around. I had already caused her too much pain. I understood why she hated me.
I watched Ava push the food around her plate without eating a thing. I wasn’t very hungry myself. If Mom noticed the tension in the room, she didn’t let on. She was blathering on and on about mundane things.
Earlier my mom had asked me if I knew what was wrong with my sister. I had the perverse urge to turn to her and say, “Well, Mom – It’s because I fucked her. In fact, I took her virginity and then walked away like the world’s biggest scumbag on the planet. But at least I sent her a letter.” Instead, I had just shrugged.
My Stepbrother the Dom (Stepbrother Romance) Page 8
