Love Me Always (I Hate You...I Think)

by Davis, Anna

  Love Me Always

  By Anna Davis

  Also by Anna Davis

  I HATE YOU…I THINK (Book 1) Coming Soon

  The Ashling Chronicles Series

  Book One: Tomb of the Dragon Book Two: The Frost Prince of Annwyn

  Book Three: Damned to Heaven Book Four: The Dragon Realm Ardent Book Five: Ruler of the Underworld

  Dedicated to Noel, I love you with all my heart. Also to Angie, Taylor, and Lauren three very talented young ladies.

  Reach for the stars and beyond. Hold true to yourself and never stray from what you believe in.

  Published by

  https://www.createspace.com/ ISBN-13: 978-1484184264 This book is a work of fiction. The names, characters, places and incidents are products of the writer’s imagination or have been used fictitiously

  and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, actual events, locales or organizations is entirely coincidental.

  No part of the book may be used or reproduced without permission of the author.

  Text copyright © 2013 by Anna Davis. All rights reserved.

  ~About the Author~

  Anna Davis is a dedicated author. She has spent more than half her life writing

  and broadening her skills. She loves to

  create magical worlds and interesting adventures. Her heroes have an attitude all their own.

  Please visit Anna at

  Annamariedavis.blogspot.com

  to learn more about her background, interests and upcoming books/book tours.

  Also, visit GoodReads.com and read reviews and comments about the book. Feedback is always appreciated!

  “You can love someone with every fiber of your being...But loving them that much only makes missing them that much harder.”

  ~Lost It All~

  ~ Oliver ~ "I don't know, Oliver. It’s been almost a month and she still doesn’t remember. I mean the doc said to surround her with stuff to help her remember so we brought her some of your stuff. Doc thought your smell might trigger her memory but it didn't. She just went into one of her fits about not knowing anything and locked herself in the bathroom again," Jake sighed running a hand threw his messy hair.

  Jake looked worn out. He had not shaved in a while. His clothes were a disheveled mess. Over all he looked about ten years older than he was. "When is the last time you slept?" I muttered looking at my best friend across the room.

  "I slept last night. Did you hear me?" "Yeah," I muttered looking out the barred jail window into the parking lot solemnly. Everlyn still hadn’t been able to get her memories back. If only I was by her side to help her. Maybe then, she would remember.

  "You've been staying at the hospital with her?" "No, not much since she woke up she has only wanted Kimmy with her. She's freaked out about everything. The last thing she even remembers is the night she met you in the nightclub. The day before the semester started."

  I turned to look at Jake then. "So she remembers me."

  Jake shook his head. "She doesn't know you other than some guy she met in the club. It's really screwed up, Oliver." I nodded, sighing. "Jet will testify next week but I don't know if it's enough to send Jason to prison. Ever gets out of the hospital tomorrow but-" Jake dropped his face into his hands.

  Walking over I put my hand on his shoulder. Lifting his head, he huffed in exhaustion. Rubbing his eyes didn’t help the dark circles any. Jake was stressed. I knew that feeling, however being me meant I couldn’t give into it.

  "Go home, Jake. Get some sleep. There is no sense worrying about what can't be helped."

  He looked up at me pulling his eyebrows together.

  "So you just don't care?"

  Pursing my lips, I dropped my hand from his shoulder. "Of course I care. I'm pissed that I can’t be with her. However, stressing about it gets me nowhere. When I get out then I can be there to take care of her. Until then beating myself up mentally isn't going to do anything but give me a headache."

  Jake held up his hands defensively. "Okay. Okay. I'm just,” he sighed, “tired."

  "Go home and sleep."

  Jake stood to leave turning his back on me.

  "Jake?" I questioned.

  He glanced over his shoulder.

  "Take care of her,” I told him. He stared at me a moment . This wasn’t about me being a gang leader and giving him an order. This was me asking my best friend to look after something very important to me. I knew he above anyone else would take care of her.

  Jake gave a small nod, "We all love her Oliver. You're not the only one who is worried. She's family. We look after our own."

  I smiled at that and gave a small laugh. "You've always had a big heart Jake. I hope that one day you'll find someone like I found her. You deserve it."

  He stared at me again for a moment. "Would you shut up? This gooey lovey shit is scaring me. You're not going to kiss me are you? I will punch you in the throat."

  I chuckled, same old Jake.

  "Get lost loser," I told him shoving him out the door. Jake exited the room shaking his head. The guards took me back to my cell where I sat on my bed with a sigh. The heavy door slid shut with a resounding echo reminding me of my fate. Without Ever testifying I would probably end up in prison for years, and Jason would go free. He would no doubt go after Ever again just for the hell of it. With her not remembering anything, she would have no idea how dangerous he is.

  Even if I did get out and Jason went to prison with Jet's testimony the fact remains Ever has no idea who I am.

  “What if she never remembers?” I thought mentally. Clinching my fists and jaw, I set my mind. I would make her remember, and if I can't I'll make her fall in love with me all over again. I won't give up. She wouldn't give up on me. That's not like her to give up on anyone, she's too stubborn for that. I have to help her remember or it could be the very end of us, and I won't let that happen.

  ~ Ever ~

  "Kimmy?" I called from the bathroom door. She popped her head in the doorway quickly.

  "Can you help me? I'm having issues getting this shirt over my shoulder," I muttered.

  "Sure." She entered the bathroom. I faced the mirror as she helped me pull off my dirty shirt. Once it was off, she threw it into the floor and reached for a clean one.

  Standing there, I stared at the girl in the mirror. It was hard to believe it was me. I was so skinny. My collarbones were poking out. I looked sickly and anorexic, even my skin was paler than usual.

  This past month in the hospital had been hell. Infections and wounds breaking back open with the slightest movement. But, I was going stir crazy cramped in this little hospital room with Kimmy, her boyfriend Alex and the other guys. Especially Logan, that boy never stopped eating. Every time I seen him he had some kind of food in his mouth.

  Kimmy told me that they were my friends. They were like my brothers and I have apparently known them for months. The problem is I can't remember ever meeting them in my life.

  The day I woke up, I had no idea where I was or what had happened. Since then Kimmy has told me a story of a boy named Oliver, which I'm supposed to be madly in love with. Then some insane story of a gang war and how I was shot.

  It's too much. I mean why I would believe that! It's insane that so much could have happened to me and I don't remember it. What hurt the most was when Kimmy told me my mom had died. I don't remember that even. Who doesn't remember their own mother funeral? I mean the woman was a horrible excuse for a mother but she was still my mom.

  Kimmy got my shirt ready to put over my head. I cringed. Although my wounds had mostly healed, I had minimal function in my shoulder and leg. The doctor said that some tissue had b
een torn away and that the muscle was weak and needed to be strengthened. It hurt to even put my clothes on by myself.

  It’ s like my arm is partially asleep and millions of ants are crawling all over it and when I move all those angry ants started biting me.

  The deep purple craters the bullets left behind were still visible as well. They would never go away. I had a constant reminder of something I don't even remember happening.

  "Ever?" Kimmy questioned after she got my shirt on.

  "Hmm?"

  "Are you okay?" she asked looking at me in the mirror.

  I just stared at her. What kind of question was that? She laughed. "I mean you have been extra quiet today and haven't yelled at Logan that much for getting crumbs on your bed. Even when Jake threw that stupid squishy ball thing at your head, you didn't really say anything. Are you remembering something?"

  Turning away from her, I gathered up my dirty clothes with my good arm, which was finally out of a cast.

  "No, I haven't remembered anything. I wish you would all stop asking me that."

  "Sorry, I'm just worried."

  "I get it. Everyone is worried. What if I never remember?" I asked annoyed.

  Kimmy looked hurt.

  "I'm sorry Kimmy. I didn't mean to snap at you." Dropping my dirty clothes in a bag, I wrapped my arm around her shoulders and hugged her.

  "I'm just. I don't know. I mean – I feel like something is missing. I just don't know what." Squeezing me tight, she refused to let go. "It's Oliver hunny. That is who you're missing. I just know when you are with him you will remember everything. I just know it."

  "Right –” I muttered. Oliver, the boy she keeps telling me about. The one that I'm in love with, or was supposed to be.

  Maybe Kimmy was right. If I am so in love with this boy maybe when I'm with him then my body will-. I don't know. Maybe it's like a magnetic pull?

  That sounds so stupid. This isn't a movie. This is real life. When I see him, butterflies aren't going to magically appear nor will music start to play as I slow motion run into his arms and we kiss then my memory all comes back. It's stupid even to let a thought like that pass through my head.

  "Alright," I pulled back and opened the bathroom door.

  "Can we get out of here? I'm sick of being trapped in this room with them." As I said that Leon tackled Logan onto the hospital bed and got him in a headlock. I tried to be annoyed but I couldn't. The sight made me want to smile.

  Frowning, I just stood there. Maybe I should try to make new memories with them? I mean if I never get back my old ones why shouldn't I try to make new ones?

  However, the nagging voices in the back of my head kept whispering, but you don't know them. Sighing I stepped out into the room. Maybe I could at least try?

  Finally, after what felt like years I stepped out of the hospital doors into fresh air. Inhaling deeply I just shut my eyes feeling the sun warm my skin. I had never missed it so much in my life.

  "Ever? You okay?" Kimmy questioned linking her arm in mine.

  "Yeah, just missed the sun." She nodded and pulled me along. I could hear all the guys behind us pushing and shoving at each other. I glanced over my shoulder just in time to see Alex dive over Jet's head landing in his lap. Jet grunted and tried to shove him off.

  "Get the hell off fat ass. You're going to break my wheel chair!"

  One good shove and Alex was sprawled in the middle of the parking lot.

  "Alex!" Kimmy snapped. Alex's head shot straight up.

  "That's enough, help Jet in the suburban and knock it off."

  "Whhippshh," Leon imitated a whip sound and in turn got knocked upside the head.

  "Do they act like hyper-active children all the time?" I asked Kimmy quietly. "They have been watching over you sweetie. They usually use up all that energy fighting in the ring but none of them have went to a tournament since you went into the hospital. You're not the only one who was going stir crazy," she smiled knowingly.

  I gave her a look and climbed into the front seat of the suburban. They loaded Jet in the back. I had heard the story of how Jet got paralyzed and that I was there when it happened and even saved his life.

  He looked up at me once he was settled and gave a soft smile. It was a sad smile though. I knew it well everyone had been giving me that smile they felt sorry for me. It made me annoyed all the time but not this time. Jet's look was different and it made me want to hug him.

  Blushing I looked away. I knew Jet and Tyler were Kimmy's brothers I vaguely remember them from my childhood but for some reason I felt I had known him my whole life. Like we were best friends, I felt that way with all the guys even if they annoyed me sometimes.

  Did that mean that I was slowly remembering? It's not really a memory, more a feeling. Does that count?

  When I finally pulled myself out of my thoughts and looked out the window, I realized we were already on the road.

  "Where are we going?" I asked as we headed down near the beach and not to my apartment.

  "Home. Jake is already there he's sleeping," Leon muttered keeping his eyes on the road as he turned.

  "But? I live in apartments. Like on other-"

  "No, no, we mean our home where you have been living."

  "Oh.” I didn't know what to say. Looking back at Kimmy, she was cuddled up with Alex. My stomach curled up unpleasantly. Why did I feel so nervous going to their house?

  Leon pulled us into the driveway and the feeling intensified. Slowly I stepped out of the vehicle with everyone else and followed like a lost puppy. What else am I supposed to do? How else am I supposed to gain back my memory if I don't try to go places I once been?

  The front door looked ominous as I stepped into the house and through to the living room where I came to a stop. While everyone else went about sitting down or wondering off, I just stood there staring at the floor.

  In the middle of the living room carpet, a perfectly circular stain glared up at me. Someone had clearly taken bleach water and scrubbed the tan carpet, but no amount of scrubbing could take the blood out. It was soaked to deep.

  It was as if a sledgehammer hit me in the chest. My heart skipped a beat and almost dropped me to my knees.

  "Ever?" Kimmy frowned glancing over her shoulder at me.

  "I need to lie down," I muttered to Kimmy not taking my eyes off the spot. "Uhhh. Okay, come on. This way," Kimmy ushered me quickly out of the living room and to a set of stairs.

  It hurt my body to walk up the stairs as I using more muscles I hadn't used in a long time. We went to a door at the end of the hall.

  "This is Oliver and your room." Looking around there were posters littering the walls and a couch in the corner as well as a TV stand. Against the far wall sat the most comfortable looking bed in the world.

  "Will you be ok in here?" she asked hesitantly.

  I nodded. After a moment, I heard her shut the door. I couldn’t tell you how long I stood in the middle of the room. I was waiting. Waiting for anything really, any kind of flash of a memory, but nothing came. Deep down, I felt empty. Since I woke up it was like I was a different person. I feel different, I feel like everything inside me is wrong.

  I headed for the closet. Throwing the doors open I looked inside to find guy clothes, as to be expected. However, there were also many of my own as well. Running my hands across one of his black band tees, I shut my eyes.

  Still nothing happened.

  I'm not sure what I was waiting for but it didn't seem like it was going to come.

  Groaning in frustration, I flung myself down on the bed. I felt like scream at the top of my lungs. What is wrong with me? Why do I feel like there is a hole in the middle of my heart?

  That's when I noticed the picture frame. Reaching to the bedside table, I lifted it up and looked at it. Tears sprang to my eyes as I looked over the faces of myself and the boy I assume was Oliver. We were wearing some ridiculous hats. He had his arm around me pressing me to his side. His lips were against the side of my h
ead. The ache in my stomach started again and made it's way to my heart.

  I truly seemed to be in love with him, but if I'm so in love why can't I remember anything about him?

  ~Love Isn’t Always Fair~

  I sat with my eyes clinched shut and my face buried into Oliver's shirt, inhaling deeply tears threatened to spill over. I knew the smell but I couldn't place it. I could see flashing of images but I couldn't grasp a hold of any of them.

  I had been locked in Oliver's room all day. His room was a mess; I needed to clean it up in a little while as I had gone through all of his stuff. I would have laughed if I wasn't so frustrated. I mean what girl ransacks a guy’s room when she doesn't know him.

  However, there were signs all over that I had lived here for a while. My underwear was in his dresser, my clothes in his closet, my purple toothbrush sat next to his blue one in the cup in the bathroom. Hell one of my bras were slung over the towel rack in the bathroom too. Clearly, I had been at home here.

  Inhaling Oliver’s smell again, I let out a sob. Why did I feel so depressed and empty? I had never felt this way before in my life but it was as if a piece of my soul was missing.

  My body ached and it wasn't from my wounds. It was deep down into my very bones type of pain. As my tears soaked into his shirt, I felt a headache coming on as I tried to force myself to remember.

  Taking a deep breath, I went back to the last memories I did have. The last thing I did remember. Maybe I could work my way forward.

  Lifting my head, I clutched his shirt to my chest keeping my eyes shut. I remembered flashing lights, the club maybe. Kimmy and I went to club infinity a lot so the lights I knew for sure.

  ~~~ People were grinding and dancing around me. They swayed to the beat of the music; the rhythm pulsed in my head. I felt as if I was in a dream but I could still feel I was sitting on Oliver's bed too. I remembered hands. They were on my stomach. That wasn't unusual. I danced with lots of people at the club.

  He spun me around so now I was facing him. My heart was suddenly in my throat. It was him. He had messy black hair and was about a foot taller than I was. His muscles rippled as reached up to move the hair from his eyes. My hands were pressed to his chest. I could feel his heart pounding under my fingertips.