Love Me Always (I Hate You...I Think)

by Davis, Anna

  It was as if ever since I woke up this morning my whole body was one fire. I had a deep determination. I was going to get my memories back. I don't care if I hurt Harper's feelings. I don't care at all who I walk on. I will get my memories back. I was dying spitting up blood and I still defied Eien.

  Nevertheless, the shock from everything must have thrown my body into some kind of melt down mode. After I woke up this morning, I have been disgusted in myself. How could I have been so weak these last weeks?

  "Err...are you ready to go?" Harper asked pulling me out of my thoughts. "Yep," I told him grabbing my own black leather jacket and stepping out of my apartment and locking it. I grabbed the helmet and sauntered off to the elevator.

  He followed behind me seemly confused. The elevator ride was short but awkwardly silent. Harper kept side glancing at me. He seemed lost for words. I know I would be. One day I was all shy and beside myself and now here I am cocky. Things were going to change very quickly.

  A lime green and black ninja motorcycle, which I knew for a fact it was the 2014 edition sat in the parking lot. It's all Jet and Jake had blabbed about over breakfast yesterday. They weren't on the market yet. Oliver had promised to buy one as soon as they came out. So I knew that it was Harpers.

  Harper hoped on the bike. I putted my helmet over my ponytail trying not to mess it up. The back seat was a bit higher than Harper so it so a few jumps to get on. As soon as I slid into place, he started it up. The engine roared to life sounding like an angry hornet.

  Placing my hands on Harper's sides I held on as he suddenly jetted us forward. I was startled at first by how fast he was going. I mean he drove recklessly in his car but on a motorcycle, it was much more terrifying.

  I tightened my grip on him as we took a corner much too fast for my liking. I liked adrenaline but this made me want to vomit. The trip into the city was quick. I thought Harper would be heading into the richer part of the city again but instead he turned and headed off toward the harbor and warehouse district.

  The warehouses in the part looked rougher than the ones near Oliver's gang hang out. With the helmet on, I couldn't ask him where we were going either. That's when I heard the reviving of engines and tires spinning out.

  Harper came up on a turn and we were engulfed in people. A guy who must have been look out moved his car and waved us through. The road between the warehouses had been shut down and each side of the asphalt strip was lined with cars and people.

  It was a street race like what Kimmy told me the guys do at the tournaments every weekend. Harper was popular amongst the crowd. People hollered and tried to wave him down but he continued up the line of cars and backed us into an opening between a Shelby cobra and a 1973 corvette. The only reason I knew the cars was my dad loved vintage cars and made models of them a lot while I growing up. I use to help him all time glue the little pieces together.

  Harper pulled off his helmet. I took that as a cue to get off. It took a moment but I got off the bike.

  "Being short sucks," I grumbled pulling off my helmet. Harper chuckled taking it from me and hanging it from the handlebars.

  " You’re not short," he smirked. "You've got beautiful long legs. You just haven't ridden much. It'll take some getting used to, babe."

  I felt the hair on my neck prickle as he called me babe. I didn't like that little pet name. Ignoring it, I looked around. Harper quickly wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me off before I could.

  "Best not to look at anyone unless you're looking to get raped."

  My eyes widened. "This is not my usual hang out, but my father controls the other races and I didn't want to be followed there. Just don't make eye contact with anyone and stay by me at all times. Trust me no one will touch you as long as you're with me," he whispered.

  Harper's hand on my waist at least stayed at a respectable place. He didn't try anything stupid. We headed up to one warehouse in particular that seemed to be busy with people coming and going out of it. We headed up to the doors and Harper greeted a tall black man like a lifelong friend. They fist bumped.

  "Haven't seen you around in a long time Jackson. I was beginning to think rich living spoiled you," the man grinned.

  "Nah, just issues at home. You know how my old man is," Harper smirked. The man turned to look at me, "Well, well, well, where have you been hiding this one?" The man winked at me.

  "Eh, she's been hanging with the bats," Harper laughed. Heat rose up in me. He was making fun of me. I knew that Oliver's gang symbol was a bat. He had it tattooed on his back.

  "Oh, this is Oliver's girl?" the man raised an eyebrow at me.

  "Yes," I said giving Harper a look. Harper frowned but the man laughed. "Better watch this one, Harper. I've known Oliver a long time and he doesn't take women with a grain of salt," the man scolded.

  He looked back at me then, "My home is your home, doll," he gestured for us to come into the warehouse. "I'm Edwin, but you can call me Eddie. Oliver and I go way back. I've heard about what happened to you. Losing your memory is tough."

  "Thank you," I smiled. I liked Eddie. He seemed like a good guy. Harper was put out but I found it amusing.

  "You take care of her Harper," Eddie said thumping Harper on the head before he wandered off.

  Harper grumbled to himself and led me through the hallway into what looked like an arena.

  There were many people gathered around a cage. A few men were walking around taking bids.

  "Who's fighting tonight?" Harper questioned one of the bookies.

  "Monroe Joplin and Freddie Depry, startin up first," the rough looking old man said.

  "Get me 5 on Freddie," Harper told him putting a roll of money and handing it to the man. The guy nodded and headed off.

  "You just handed a random guy 5,000 dollars?" I stated giving him a weird look.

  He laughed. "It's how it works. Don't worry; he's not stupid enough to steal from me."

  "Why is everyone afraid of you?" I asked him.

  Harper looked over at me with a frown, "Well, because of who my dad is," he muttered. I stared at him a moment. He had been somewhat cocky tonight. It was painfully annoying. I don't think that even under different circumstances I could like Harper. He gave off a vibe I couldn't place but sure didn't like.

  ~Fire Inside~

  We took our seats front row on the bleachers. People were still greeting Harper and wanting to sit with him, especially women. Harper kept his left arm secure around my waist though and motioned off everyone.

  In a way, it rather made me feel special that he would rather spend his time with me. I mean what normal guy wants to hang out with an emotionally shattered girl? He was competing with a guy I didn't remember. No, actually, there wasn’t a competition, Oliver already had my heart and would always but Harper didn't know that. Why was he trying so hard?

  "Sorry about all this. I thought we'd have a good night here, but it seems we're getting bothered more than anything."

  "It's ok," I told him not even looking at him. My eyes, at the moment were preoccupied with a trashy looking girl a few rows next to us. She was Latino and beautiful, with sun kissed skin and black wavy hair. However, she was dressed in a tube top and a skirt that barely covered her ass. She was short even with 3-inch heels, but something about her brought my blood to a boil.

  "Do you know that girl?" I asked Harper.

  He leaned around me to look, "The one in the tube top?"

  "Yeah."

  "That's Roxanne. Do you know here?" Harper asked raising an eyebrow at me. "I think so, but can't remember," I muttered glaring at her. I don't know why I had so much hatred for this girl.

  She must have felt me staring at her because her eyes went up and she made eye contact with me. A look crossed her face and she smirked. Waving off the two men who were talking to her, she sauntered over to where we sat.

  "Well, look who it is," she spoke in a high pitched annoying voice. It was like nails on a chalkboard. I just glared at her.


  "Oh, what's wrong sweetheart. You don't remember me," she laughed.

  "No she doesn't," Harper told the girl. "Harper, baby. What are you doing here? I thought you hung out more at the starlight fight ring?" She purred placing her hands on his hips and leaning to the side just enough to notice she had no underwear on and you could see a shaved bikini line. I jerked my eyes away from her in disgust.

  "I thought Ever would be more comfortable here," Harper said squeezing his arm around me. Roxanne laughed again, "So you're with Harper now? I heard you lost your memory but I figured Oli would still keep you. You move pretty fast."

  "How did you know I lost my memory?" I questioned. "Everyone knows about what happened with Oliver and Jason. Word got around pretty quick about Eien's betrayal and Oliver's girl getting shot. Many gangs were thinking that Oliver would step aside from gang leader and were planning to go in and take his spot."

  "Bullshit. Oliver wouldn't step down and he'll beat the living shit outta anyone who tried to take his territory."

  "I thought you didn't remember?" Harper asked darkly.

  "I don't remember a lot but I know Oliver wouldn't back down from anything," I spat at Roxanne.

  "Still as bitchy as Ever," then she grinned and laughed at her own lame joke. "Maybe since you're here with Harper I'll go down and pay Oli a little visit. I'm sure he's lonely know that his only whore isn't around."

  A switch flipped in my brain and before I knew what was happening I had tackled Roxanne to the ground and was punching her in the face.

  She screamed in shock and I heard people cheer about the sudden fight. Roxanne reached out grabbing a handful of my hair and pulling back.

  Ignoring it, I grabbed her head and slammed it into the floor. She released my hair and I punched her repeatedly in the face until she was screaming for someone to get me off. Arms coiled around my waist. They were going to pull me off. Twisting my hand into Roxanne's hair, I held on to her head and continued to beat her. Before long, we were finally separated.

  It had lasted only a second but in that time Roxanne's face was swollen and bloody. Her nose had to have been broken with the amount of blood pouring out. At some point, I clawed my fingernails into her throat and now there were angry red scratches going from her jaw to her chest.

  "Fuck with me again bitch, I'll put you in the ground!" I yelled. I shocked myself at my words. I had never felt so angry toward someone like this before in my entire life. The people around were shocked and excited it seemed by the sudden brawl.

  I could hear them whispering about who I was. About me, being Oliver's girl and my memory lost. They were also talking about how I just fought like Oliver, and he must have taught me. I twisted away from Harper and spun around to look at him.

  His eyes were dark as he glared at me. I don't know why he looked like that but it was annoying.

  "I'm going home," I told him storming off. I didn't need him to get my memories back. I didn't need anyone but Oliver. Eddie appeared next to me then.

  "Hello doll. Would you like a ride home?" he smiled looking back at Harper who had yet to move. He was just standing there. Clearly, he wasn't taking me home.

  "That would be great, Eddie. Thank you," I smiled. I followed him outside, news must have spread quickly about Roxanne and my fight as everyone was staring.

  On the other hand, perhaps it was her blood splattered across my shirt. Either way the whispering continued. Instead of keeping my head bowed and not making eye contact, I glared at everyone. They can all kiss my ass.

  "Hey Eddie," a boy come running up. He was dressed in all black with chains hanging from his pants. The kid had to of been seventeen or so.

  "Ever," the boy greeted. I knew instantly he was part of Oliver's gang. I tried to grasp for his name but didn't know it.

  "I'm Robbie," he offered with a smile.

  "Sorry," I frowned. He shook his head.

  "It's cool." "I was about to take the young lady home but since you're here I think it would be best if you did," Eddie smiled. He looked down at me then.

  "I'd say try to stay out of trouble but I believe you can handle yourself just fine."

  "Thanks," I muttered. He gave me a brief pat on the back and left.

  "Some of us came down here to get in the race so we'll take you home," Robbie told me.

  I followed him over to where some other guys were leaned up with their bikes. "Hey Ever," another guy greeted. I knew him instantly as Marcus, "What are you doing here?"

  "Marcus, right?" I asked. I didn't know how I knew his name I just did. He grinned brightly.

  "You’re getting your memory back."

  I nodded. "Yeah kind of. Do you know a girl named Roxanne?"

  Marcus made a face, as did the other four boys including Robbie.

  "Why?" " I don’t know her either but I just beat her face in. Could you tell me why I hate her so much?"

  Marcus roared with laughter along with the others. "Is that who's blood is all over you? I thought we were all about to get in trouble with Oliver. And Roxanne is a crazy whore. She has wanted Oliver for over a year now but he has never given her the time a day."

  "Why would you get in trouble?" I asked raising my eyebrow, Roxanne completely forgotten. "Well if we bring you home covered in blood he'll eat our faces off," Robby replied. I nodded. Oliver probably would. That is if I went to his house. I thought about it for a moment. I really did need Oliver right now. I shouldn’t have left him in the first place.

  "Sorry about you guys missing out here. I can find someone else to take me home. I'm sure I could call Jake or Leon to come get me."

  "Nah, it's no problem. It's complete shit out here anyways. Not even that much of a challenge really," Marcus frowned looking around. He glared at someone behind me; some people must still be staring.

  "Let's get out of here," he told me pulling off his jacket and handing it to me. I put it on and climbed onto the back of his motorcycle. The others started there’s and we headed out of the race strip.

  “Were you hanging with Harper Jackson?” Marcus asked.

  “Why?” I questioned. Maybe he knew Harper too. “ He’s over there staring at you. I can’t stand the little prick but he’s dangerous as hell. Probably kill all of us with one freakin hand.”

  “Harper?” I asked shocked. “ Yeah, he’s Weasley Jackson’s kid. Oliver use to work for Weasley. Crazy freakin nuts all of them.”

  “Weasley...” I whispered. How do I know that name? We were entering the city when Marcus spoke again, "I know you've been staying at your own place. Do you want me to take you there?"

  "No, I want to stay with Oliver tonight." I saw him smile before he turned his face away. I shook my head. All of Oliver's guys really wanted me to be with him.

  "I think Oliver's over at the courts. He goes over there sometimes."

  "Courts?" I questioned. What courts? My question was answered when we passed Oliver's house and took a turn going up a different road near the club. There was a small park with basketball courts. About fifteen people, was there playing Oliver being one of them.

  "I'm surprised he's here," Robbie mentioned as we parked. The game had stopped and Oliver was coming up to the fence.

  "Why?" I asked Robbie.

  "He hasn't been out here since you two started dating."

  "Hey, what’s going on?" Oliver asked confused leaning against the fence. "Oh, you know. The usual being stupid and beating people’s faces in," I told him shrugging and unzipped Marcus's jacket and handing it back to him.

  "Holy hell who did you murder?" Logan questioned jogging up next to Oliver.

  "She tried to murder Roxanne,” Marcus chuckled. "Where-" Oliver started. "Never mind," he muttered looking away. Walking up to the fence I reached through and grabbing his hair pulling him into the fence. He looked shocked but relaxed and pressed my lips to mine.

  A memory suddenly exploded into view.

  ~~~ Oliver and I were in a room. Maybe a hotel room and we were staring at each
other awkwardly. Like we weren't sure what to do.

  "Have you never been with a girl?"

  "I've had girlfriends...but it never got serious..." he shrugged taking off his shoes.

  "Oh..." So I'm not the only inexperienced one. How would we do this? It was not like in movies were the couple just kisses then starts undressing all romantically. This was awkward because both of us were embarrassed.

  "Would you like to take a shower?" Oliver stood up coming to me.

  "Together?"

  He nodded. I mimicked him by nodding briefly. He chuckled.

  "We are really weird you know that." With that, his hands went to my back where the zipper of my dress was. Slowly he pulled it down. My dress fell around my ankles leaving me in only my bra and underwear. Resisting the urge to cross my arms I looked up at him with a sheepish smile.

  Oliver still held me to his chest as the water ran over us. Both panting and hot we just stood there. My very first time ever doing something like this and I did it with the boy I love. Who I also know loves me more than life it's self as he told me earlier.

  "I love you," I whispered pressing my lips to his again. "I love you too, Bunny," he whispered so gently and sweetly. Holding my face, he rubbed his thumb over my cheeks.

  "I don't ever wanna imagine my life without you."

  ~~~

  I pulled back gasping. "Err...I'd say that was a good memory," Marcus muttered from behind me. Logan had recoiled and was walking backwards quickly.

  "Get a room. Like seriously," he called running away.

  I blushed. Oliver chuckled.

  "Memory?" he questioned.

  "Take me home," I whispered still blushing. He frowned. "Our home," I corrected. His eyes lit up. Pulling his hands back through the fence, he walked around to the opening and quickly picked me up bridal style.

  "Where a condom!" Someone shouted from the court. "We never do!" I yelled back then slapped my hand over my mouth and buried my face into Oliver's shoulder.

  "Wow," I heard a few people mumble. "So that's what you remember?" Oliver smirked as he carried me down the sidewalk back home.

  "Yeah," I told him softly. "Hotel room."