The Change-Up

by Syd Parker

  Chapter Six

  Cody Wilson handed the ball back to Kevin, watching him place his fingers around the seams. “Feel the difference?”

  Kevin held the ball loosely, flicking his wrist back and forth in short strokes, mimicking the release of his change-up.

  “It’s all in the grip. You were holding the ball too tight. The harder you grip it, the more chance you will end up pushing the ball down in your follow through. You have to imagine it’s an egg. Grip it like it’s going to crack if you hold on too tightly. Try it again.”

  Kevin eyed the ball in his hand once more, confident he had the grip right, based on Cody’s advice. Cody was still his favorite. The sophomore was the best pitcher on the Statesmen’s team, and Kevin was eager to learn as much as he could from Cody. Not only was he the strongest hurler, but Cody was quickly becoming a favorite of Kevin’s. Their personalities were similar, and both had like-minded goals for their careers once baseball ended. Cody’s parents had also gone through a nasty divorce that left him quiet and introspective, doubtful of the men in his life until they earned his trust. Kevin nodded his understanding and toed the plate. He made sure his catcher was ready before customarily rolling the ball around in his glove, feeling for the seams and placing his fingers in the circle change position. He loosened his grip before winding up. A second later, his body pitched forward, as his lead leg pulled him down the line. He watched as the ball hung in the air, the seams rotating slowly, then if of a mind of its own, cut right and down, whizzing past the bat of third baseman, Ethan Ball, landing with a thud in the catcher’s glove.

  “Perfect.” Cody swatted Kevin on the butt with his glove. “That was a perfect pitch.”

  Kevin swelled with pride. The pitch he was so accustomed to finally looked as it should. His struggles with grounding the ball seemed like a distant memory. “Thanks, Cody.”

  “Hey, Ball, I still feel the breeze out here.” Cody liked to rattle the cages of his teammates, and Ethan was no different. “Want me to call your mom and have her pinch hit?”

  “Screw you, Wilson.” Ethan threw up his middle finger in Cody’s direction, but his face broke into a good-natured smile. As much as they teased, the guys never fought. It was part of the family atmosphere that Delta worked hard to preserve. “Great pitch, Carter. Let’s see if you have enough up your sleeve to take me down.”

  At that moment, Kevin knew he’d been accepted into this blended family. He didn't have the same connection with the guys at Wake Forest or Tennessee. He liked them, got along just fine, but they were missing that special kinship that made each one of them feel at home. He returned Ethan’s smile with a smirk. “Better sharpen your pencil, Ball. You’re about to get schooled.”

  “Good one.” Cody patted Kevin on the shoulder before jogging off the field.

  Kevin held his open glove toward his catcher, signaling he was ready. He caught the quick throw back and walked to the center of the mound. He kicked the plate then looked down the line for the call. He waved off the first three signals before taking a fastball. He rolled the ball in his hand, settling his fingers in place for another of his favorite pitches, the split finger. Kevin started his wind-up, uncoiled and hurled his arm toward the plate, pulling his wrist down at release. The ball flew toward Ethan, and just as his bat came around to connect, the split dropped just enough to skirt past and into Matt’s outstretched glove.

  Ethan smiled, despite the miss. He knew Kevin’s speed and control meant they would have a good player to fill a void next season. “Come on, Carter, I know you don’t have another strike in you.”

  Kevin smiled and gloved the return throw. “I will if your grandma keeps swinging for you.”

  “Bite it.” Ethan rotated the bat, gripping it tightly with each turn, until he found the exact spot. He tapped it against the plate then pulled it over his right shoulder, making small circles as he eyed Kevin. He quickly learned Kevin’s preference for the change-up, so he anticipated that was the pitch Kevin agreed to. Ethan groaned. He hadn’t been hitting changes very skillfully lately. His timing was slightly off, so the thought of facing down another one didn’t sit so well.

  Kevin said the count silently. He was behind in the count, as his first three pitches found their way out of the strike zone, and Ethan hadn’t jumped on those. He eyed Ethan, a momentary adversary, as his hands found a home on the ball. He knew this last pitch was more than just a strike or a ball. It signified the mark he would make on this team. He knew Ethan had been struggling at the plate, and that meant moving him down in the order. Kevin could slow this last pitch some, take a bit of the movement off of it, giving Ethan a chance to connect and start to build his shaken confidence up again. Kevin had already proven he was a good pitcher, with a promise of becoming a great one given the correct coaching. This was a moment where Kevin knew the right choice wasn’t always the easiest. He could see the hint of defeat in Ethan’s eyes, mingled with hope. It was the hope that got to Kevin, and he knew what to do. He wound up and hurled his arm toward home, flattening his wrist out at release.

  Ethan held his breath. The ball hung in the air between them for a millisecond before he watched it shoot toward him. His body had already tightened, and the bat swung on its own. He exhaled as the bat started over the plate, arching toward the dropping ball. The sound of the crack filled his ears before the reverberations from the wood, meeting the leather, jostled his hands. He pulled the bat around, completing the swing, and watched as the ball stopped before beginning its flight in the opposite direction.

  Kevin turned as the ball sailed over his head, flew toward the fence and cleared it with feet to spare. He spun around and shot Ethan a smile. “Great hit.”

  An unassuming smile broke out on Ethan’s face and spread ear-to-ear. He had missed the sound and the feel of a well hit ball. He held the bat toward Kevin and winked. “Take that to the bank.”

  Hours later, as they sat around Sawyer’s pool, Ethan sauntered over to Kevin and shot him a grateful smile. “I know what you did today. I appreciate it.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “You threw off on that last pitch.”

  Kevin shrugged and stared blankly at Ethan. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  “That change-up was nowhere near as fast as the first one. It was a gimme. I’m not sure anyone else noticed, but I did. It takes a big man to do that.”

  “Listen, man, you had a good poke at it. I threw the best I could. You’re a great bat. Anyone can see that.” Whether Ethan could tell it was on purpose or not, Kevin would never admit to him that he didn’t throw the pitch at a hundred percent. “Looks like your timing is coming back.”

  “Whatever, man. You want to be cool about it, so can I.” Ethan pushed himself up. “I’m glad you made the team, Kevin. You’re a good guy.”

  Kevin watched Ethan join the others. It wasn’t the perfect way to handle his decision, but it was the best. Each knew what had happened and respected the choice not to acknowledge it.

  “Pretty good pitching out there.” Sawyer sat down beside Kevin and dangled her legs in the pool. “You’re getting better at controlling the change.”

  Kevin jumped at her tone, giving her an inquisitive glance. “Yeah, Cody gave me some good pointers.”

  “Really good ones, apparently.” Sawyer shielded her eyes from the sun and held Kevin’s gaze, her demeanor hinting at something.

  “Coach?” Kevin decided playing dumb might be the best route. He wasn’t sure how she would react to him intentionally taking speed off the pitch.

  “I used to fight with my mom all the time. We would argue over what I wore, if I wanted to go to church, doing my homework. You name it, we probably fought about it. In most of our arguments, no one ever won. We went our separate ways, angry and hurt. My dad would always pull me aside and tell me that I needed to pick my battles; that I didn’t need to win all of them to win the war. The funny thing about that is I never really listened. I was yo
ung and stubborn. It seemed easier to fight until one of us gave up. You’re different. You know that you don’t have to win every time. Sometimes life is about doing the right thing, even if it doesn’t benefit you right away. I know you took some heat off that last pitch.”

  “You do?” Kevin groaned and looked away.

  “I’m a coach, and I used to throw that pitch. I know what it looks like when it’s thrown right. For the record, I respect what you did. Ethan’s been off. The new guy striking him out would have shattered his confidence even more.”

  “So, you’re okay with what I did?”

  “I understand why you did it. In this instance, I’m mostly okay with it. You had Ethan’s back, and that’s an admirable thing. I haven’t seen him hold his head that high in a while. Letting him win was the right choice. Listen, Kevin, I know you’ve spent your life looking out for your mom, so it’s natural to want to protect everyone. I want you to remember that there are times when you have to put yourself first. It’s about learning what the situation warrants. You can’t save everyone all the time, especially if it means sacrificing yourself.” Sawyer nudged Kevin with her shoulder. “Just know this, if I catch you doing that in a game, I’ll bench you for a month.”

  Kevin saw the twinkle in her eyes and relaxed a bit, but he believed she would be true to her word. “Thanks, Coach. I got a lot of improving to do before next year, but I’m ready to be part of this team.”

  Sawyer patted Kevin’s leg. “We all have things we can get better on, but that’s part of the beauty of being surrounded by these guys. Everyone here has strengths they can teach you, and vice-versa. Heck, I have things I need to work on. We help each other grow.” Sawyer paused. “So, you’re happy with your choice?”

  Kevin nodded eagerly. “Totally. The guys are great. I’m playing for my favorite coach. I can’t wait for next year.”

  “What about your mom? Think she will be okay with you leaving home?”

  Kevin followed Sawyer’s gaze to his mother. He knew that his mom didn’t have many friends, partly by choice, and partly from the circumstances she lived in. She didn’t trust quickly and rarely let anyone get close to her. He’d watched her keep everyone at arm’s length since his dad left them. He hated that she was alone, and worried that when he left for college, she would keep to herself even more. It seemed like she liked Sawyer, and he hoped that meant they would be friends. “I do feel bad leaving her alone, but she wouldn’t hold me back. My mom wants what is best for me, no matter where that is. Sometimes, I wish she had more friends. Then I wouldn’t feel guilty.”

  Sawyer considered her next words thoughtfully before she voiced them. “One of the things I’ve learned in life is that you can’t sit by and wait for the opportunity to knock on your door. If your mom wants to change her situation, she has to be the engine driving the change. You can’t do it for her. Besides, maybe she is perfectly happy the way she is. Some people can get along without other folks; it's in their nature.”

  “She likes you.”

  “Of course, everyone likes me.” Sawyer teased good-naturedly. “What’s not to like?”

  “You’re friends, right?”

  Sawyer let her gaze travel to Bellamy. The movement caught Bellamy’s eye and she smiled shyly, sending Sawyer’s heart into her throat. She pulled away guiltily, hoping Kevin didn’t sense anything was amiss. “Your mom and I have very different views on things. I’m not sure she would want to keep company with a rabble-rouser like myself.”

  “My mom is a bit reserved at first. It takes her a while to trust people and let her guard down.”

  Sawyer remembered a half a dozen times that Bellamy had almost let her in. She wondered if she were to get inside Bellamy’s walls, would that be enough. Would she be able to stand near the fire and not get consumed? “She’s smart to be that way. Me, I just close my eyes and jump in feet first, ask questions later. I could use some of her caution.”

  “And she could let loose a little bit sometimes. I just don’t want her to be lonely when I’m gone.” Kevin knew his mom wouldn’t change; at least, not easily. She was set in her ways. He didn’t imagine Sawyer could change her, but there seemed to be a flicker in his mom’s eye that hadn’t been there in years. The only change in their lives was Sawyer. He wasn’t sure what the flicker meant, other than when his mom spoke to Sawyer, she smiled a lot more, and that had to mean she liked her and he thought they might be friends.

  “Just because she’s alone, doesn’t mean she is lonely. Kevin, it’s okay to worry about your mom, but don’t let it consume you. If she wants something different out of her life, I reckon it’s a choice she will need to make, and a change she will have to initiate. No amount of fretting will bring about a different outcome.”

  “I know, sometimes I can’t help it. It’s just been us for so long that I don’t know any other reality than that. It will be hard not to worry.” Kevin couldn’t explain how protective he felt of the woman who raised him single-handedly. She was entirely responsible for the man he’d grown up to be. He owed her everything.

  Sawyer patted Kevin on the back. “It’s okay. I understand what you’re saying. Just like you’re fixin’ to fly, you have to let your mom spread her wings. This is going to be a growing year for you both. I’ll try to make it as easy as possible.”

  “Thanks, Coach.”

  “Hey, Kev. Catch.” Kevin looked up and palmed a small basketball, before taking aim and sinking it in the tiny hoop at the end of the pool. He shot Sawyer a questioning look, then jumped in the pool at her nod, joining the rest of the team.

  Sawyer was happy that Kevin fit in as quickly as he did. She pushed herself up with a groan, a quick reminder of her aging knees and hobbled toward the lounger next to Bellamy.

  “Thank you.”

  Sawyer eyed Bellamy curiously. “For?”

  “For being so wonderful. I have worried about this moment since Kevin joined Little League. He always told me he was destined to play in the big leagues. This is just the first step in losing my son. Thank you for making it a little easier to cope with.”

  “That’s me. Part coach, part counselor.”

  “You handle the two hats very well. I hope you don’t mind putting up with me.”

  “It’s my pleasure, Bellamy.”

  Bellamy’s heart tripped in her chest. She loved the way that Sawyer said her name, with just the hint of a southern accent. “I hope I’m not too much trouble.”

  “Never, Ms. Carter.” Sawyer teased. “Reckon I would do just about anything for you and Kevin.”

  “Of course.” Bellamy felt the heat rise in her neck, and she sought refuge in the chill of her iced tea, holding the glass against her cheeks. “He’ll be okay, won’t he?”

  Sawyer studied the boys in the pool, gauging their temperament. “I think he’ll be just fine.” Sawyer turned her gaze to Bellamy, watching her face closely. “What about you?”

  “Me?”

  “Will you be fine?”

  Bellamy opened her mouth to reply then clamped it shut quickly. Before she met Sawyer, she would have said yes. She’d prepared, or at least tried to prepare herself mentally for this day. Meeting Sawyer altered the paradigm. Bellamy already felt the shift in her normal. It wasn’t enough anymore. There was something missing. She knew the empty space Kevin would leave. She'd calculated for that. But not Sawyer. Nothing could have prepared her for the need that filled her body now. She wanted her. Craved her physically. Longed for her emotionally. There was something growing inside Bellamy that had lain dormant so long, she almost forgot it existed, but here she was, forced to admit that what she felt would not rest until it was satisfied. Bellamy finally knew what the Bible meant when it warned against lust. And, oh, did she lust. She tensed and waited for the self-recrimination that she knew would come.

  It was amazing how a simple question could send her mind and body in a hundred different directions. Sawyer had a way of getting her off-kilter. When the passages failed to lo
ad in her mind, she shook her head, trying to clear away the last vestiges of confusion and focused on Sawyer. “I think so.” Bellamy managed to utter the words as her mind screamed no, you won’t. How could she ever be fine again? She no longer knew what fine meant. Content. That was a word that seemed to fit. Nothing was actually wrong, though it felt as if everything was.

  “It gets easier.” Sawyer squeezed Bellamy’s hand, misinterpreting her reaction as a sign that Bellamy was nervous about Kevin leaving home. “I promise.”

  Bellamy’s eyes burned into Sawyer’s hand, her skin tingling at the contact. She wanted to shake her head and tell Sawyer her reaction had nothing to do with Kevin and everything to do with her. She wanted; she wanted…Bellamy struggled to envision what she wanted, before a picture danced in front of her face. She wanted to pin Sawyer to the chair and kiss her senseless. Never in her life had Bellamy’s body burned as intensely as it did right now. She needed to get away from Sawyer – to hide from the desire Bellamy saw mirrored in her eyes. Bellamy pulled her arm away and jumped up awkwardly. “I have…I have to go to the…bathroom.”

  As she escaped Sawyer’s surprised expression, Bellamy finally heard the authoritative voice issuing bits of warnings with each step. Do not desire her beauty in your heart. Flee from sexual immorality. The works of the flesh are sexual immorality. Blessed is the man who remains steadfast. God will judge… she knew there was more, but it never came. Safe within the confines of the bathroom, Bellamy watched Sawyer. She already knew the way her hands moved when she spoke. Or the gentle way her head tilted back when she laughed. She memorized the crinkles around her eyes, the soft curve of her cheeks, the fullness of her lips. The gentle manner in which she spoke to people. The motherly affection she felt for her players. The softness of her skin on Bellamy’s. Bellamy had so many reasons to let her in, and only one to keep her at arm’s length.