The Change-Up

by Syd Parker

  Chapter Seven

  Sawyer handed Bellamy a glass of wine and settled in the lounger beside her. “No matter how many times I tell myself that I’m not getting old, the guys come over and remind me that I’m twice their age.”

  “Cheers to being an adult.” Bellamy held her glass toward Sawyer and clinked them together. “The aches in my body are enough to let me know. When I walk up the steps and it sounds like I’m making popcorn in my knees, that’s all the reminder I need.”

  “Thank God I don’t have stairs.” Sawyer’s laugh filled the yard as she settled backward against the lounger and looked up at the stars.

  “It’s beautiful here. I haven’t seen the Milky Way since I was a kid.”

  “Don’t you ever sit out and stare at the sky?” Sawyer couldn’t imagine not being able to look at the stars every night. It was something that settled her mind and kept her centered. It was her connection to the universe, a reminder that she wasn’t so alone.

  “It’s not that. There’s too much light pollution in the city now. I love being close to everything, but I miss this. When I was a kid, I spent summers with my aunt and uncle in Midland. They worked on a horse farm. At night, my cousins and I would swim in a small pond on their property then lay on the dock and try to count the stars. I think a million-gazillion was the highest we made it.”

  “You’re lucky. I only ever made it to a bajillion. That sounds like fun. You did that every summer?”

  “Yep. Until my grandmother got sick the year I turned fifteen. My uncle packed the family up and left for Tennessee to take care of her. That was the last summer I spent at the farm. Some of my favorite memories as a kid were from my time up there. We still talk about that at family reunions, how nowhere we go now compares to the farm.”

  “Is it still operating? Did you ever go back and visit?”

  “Sadly, we did not. We all talked about it as we got older, but the timing never seemed right.”

  Sawyer set her wine glass down and stood up. She grabbed Bellamy’s hand and tugged it softly. “Come on, I have an idea.”

  Bellamy eyed Sawyer suspiciously. “The last time someone said that to me, I got pregnant with Kevin.”

  Sawyer winked mischievously. “I promise I won’t get you pregnant.”

  Bellamy cut her gaze toward Sawyer and shook her head, refusing to leave the comfort of her chair.

  “Seriously, come on.” Sawyer took the glass from Bellamy’s hand and set it next to hers on the table. She wiggled her pointer finger at Bellamy in her best come on gesture, daring her to refuse. When Bellamy finally stood up, Sawyer led her to the edge of the pool. She grabbed her hand and jumped, pulling Bellamy in with her.

  When their heads broke the surface, Bellamy wiped her eyes and shoved a handful of water in Sawyer’s face. As Sawyer coughed and sputtered, Bellamy laughed wickedly. “Payback. What on earth possessed you to throw me into the water fully clothed?”

  Sawyer wiped the water from her eyes and shrugged innocently. “I’m helping you relive your youth.”

  “Then it’s only fair I do this.” Bellamy lunged at Sawyer and shoved her head under water then darted quickly to the other side of the pool. When Sawyer surfaced, Bellamy stuck out her tongue. “I was the oldest of the cousins. Don’t think I wasn’t a bully.”

  Sawyer wrung her hair out as she slowly narrowed the distance between them. “I grew up with an older brother. Don’t think I don’t know how to hold my own.”

  Bellamy waited until Sawyer was just out of reach before she slipped beneath the water, pushed off the side and gracefully swam the distance to the other side. When she popped out of the water, she shot Sawyer a shit-eating grin. “I’m also a very strong swimmer. Sure you want to keep chasing me?”

  Sawyer’s pulse quickened, and she was immediately thankful the moon wasn’t bright enough that Bellamy could see her eyes. Her immediate response was a sarcastic no, but as her eyes roved over Bellamy’s face, and she recognized the hint of a challenge in her question, Sawyer realized she might never stop chasing her. “Only as long as it takes to catch you.”

  Bellamy’s body shuddered at the raspy tone in Sawyer’s voice. Her meaning was not lost on Bellamy. As easily as Bellamy had issued the defiant challenge, Sawyer had answered it and upped the stakes. What was happening between them was so much more than the simple game of catch. Bellamy recognized the fact that a part of her really wanted to be caught. Her body had never reacted to anyone the way it did to Sawyer; had never ached to feel someone’s skin against hers. If she did let herself get caught, that was the unknown she wasn’t prepared to face yet. “Oh, you think you have a chance of catching me?”

  Sawyer nodded almost imperceptibly and moved silently toward Bellamy.

  Bellamy froze in place. The closer Sawyer came, the more nervous Bellamy became. She tried to pull her gaze away from the wet ringlets that framed Sawyer’s moonlit face. Her breath caught in her throat when Sawyer stopped mere inches from her body, close enough to feel her heat, but far enough away that she felt cheated at the lack of contact. Sawyer licked a drop of water that fell across her lips, and the movement sent chills down Bellamy’s spine. She tried to back away, but the side of the pool blocked her retreat.

  Sawyer's eyes dropped to Bellamy’s lips, giving them a searing once over before returning to Bellamy’s eyes and holding her captive. She lifted her hand toward Bellamy’s face and rubbed her knuckles against her cheek. She reveled in the hunger she saw reflected in Bellamy’s eyes. She closed the distance between them until only millimeters separated their flesh. She leaned her head over and whispered in Bellamy’s ear. “You will come to me when you’re ready to be caught.”

  Electricity vibrated in Bellamy’s body. She wrapped her arms around her body, fighting the urge to pull Sawyer into her arms. She knew if Sawyer didn’t move, any bit of restraint she had left would vanish. As it was, her teeth cut into her lip in an effort not to beg Sawyer to kiss her. Sawyer was right. As much as Bellamy didn’t want to admit it, the more time she spent with Sawyer, the less she wanted to be good. Before Bellamy could forget herself and do something stupid, Sawyer reached around her and pushed off the wall, floating to the other side of the pool.

  Bellamy exhaled and gulped in fresh air. She scrambled out of the pool and hid behind her towel, trying to regain control. She could hear small splashes as Sawyer swam slow laps of the pool, appreciating that Sawyer was giving her the space she knew she needed. Her mind reeled to find a suitable reply, something to clear the air between them. The only thing she knew that would put them on a level playing field was Kevin. “Thanks for talking to Kevin about his pitching.”

  Sawyer crossed her arms on the edge of the pool and rested her chin on top of them. “It was nothing.”

  “I doubt that.” Bellamy wrapped her towel around her body, staving off the chill of the night air against her wet clothes. “I know you figured out he pulled back on that pitch to Ethan. I was going to talk to him about it, but you beat me to it.”

  Sawyer shrugged. “Kevin’s a good kid. I know he feels a sense of duty to protect people. I just let him know that sometimes you have to let go and let things happen. You can’t always control the outcome.”

  “Ha! That’s easy for you to say. Telling a control freak to let go is like telling a bear not to hunt. It goes against nature.”

  Sawyer pulled herself out of the pool and sat down next to Bellamy. She leaned back and stared at the sky. “Relax, Bellamy. Pretend you’re on the dock and all you have to think about is counting stars.”

  Bellamy leaned back, curling her knees up beside her. She stole a glance at Sawyer’s face before she turned her face to the sky. In the back of her mind, a tiny voice started to call out the numbers, and before she knew it, she’d forgotten the cold and the space around her. She was nine years old all over again; her wet hair plastered against her forehead, her head resting in her palms, the soft giggles of her cousins as they whispered the next highest number. She w
asn’t sure how long she lay there, lost in a million twinkling lights, but the touch of Sawyer’s fingers on her arm made her jump.

  “You were pretty far away.”

  “Mm, yes. You reminded me what it was like not to have a worry in the world.”

  “It’s nice, isn’t it?”

  Bellamy sighed. “It isn’t that simple sometimes.”

  “Why not?” Sawyer cocked an eyebrow quizzically. “Life isn’t complicated. We complicate it. We make it messy and then try to figure out how to control it. Take baseball, for example. There are about a dozen different pitches. Multiply that by the number of pitchers out there and figure everybody has a little different take on a particular pitch, and you start to realize how complicated pitching can get, when really it’s pretty simple. It’s getting the ball from point A to point B, without the batter figuring out a way to hit it.”

  Bellamy’s amused chuckle filled the air. “It’s still a control thing.”

  “Okay, for lack of a better analogy, take Kevin’s favorite pitch, the change-up. It walks and talks like a fastball, with one important difference. With the change-up, a pitcher loosens his grip. He throws it the same. It starts toward the plate the same, but that subtle change in pressure from the index and middle finger, and the pitch is totally different. You can throw a great fastball, but sooner or later, every batter will have your number. When you learn not to hold on so tightly, magic happens.”

  “Are we still talking about baseball?”

  “Baseball, life, whatever you want to refer to. Sometimes, it’s okay to loosen up.”

  Bellamy knew she had a tendency to be rigid about things; that was just her personality. Letting go meant giving up the control she valued. It gave her life a sense of normalcy – something she craved. Without it, Bellamy wasn’t sure she could function. For the sake of not arguing with Sawyer, she decided to at least humor her. “Magic, huh?”

  Sawyer smirked. She probably shouldn’t have said magic, but at least Bellamy was intrigued. “Maybe not magic, but freedom. Freedom to let life happen to you, rather than mapping it out.”

  “Isn’t that a rather obtuse vantage point? Are you saying everything you have today is accidental? You just stumbled on it, or rather it stumbled on you.”

  “Mm, I’m not that foolish. I just mean that you can choose a course in life, but there will always be outside factors that are out of your control. Factors you can’t account for. I’m saying that in pursuit of your dreams, try to accept that not everything will go as planned and be okay with that. Be flexible.”

  Bellamy smothered a smile. “Flexible, huh? Wait…are we still talking about life and baseball?”

  This time, Sawyer picked up on her teasing tone, and she smiled abashedly. Despite her bravado in most situations, there was something in Bellamy’s humor that made Sawyer unsure of how to reply. Her timidity won out. “Of course, what else would I be talking about?”

  Bellamy studied Sawyer’s face closely, looking for signs that she meant something entirely different. She was disappointed to see nothing. “I can’t believe the weekend is almost over. It seems like it flew by.”

  “Between practice, twenty loud guys, and trying to tour the campus, three days was gone like that. Did you have fun?”

  “I did. It was nice to just relax for a while. I’m sure I have some fiscal disasters waiting for me. But right now, the only things I can think about are the stars, Kevin’s happiness, and…” Bellamy’s teeth chattered noisily, “…how cold and wet I am.”

  “Oh, shit. I’m sorry.” Sawyer jumped up and pulled Bellamy to her feet. “I’m taking you inside.”

  Bellamy didn’t protest. She followed Sawyer dutifully. Despite the warmth that settled in her belly from the playful teasing, Bellamy finally succumbed to the chill. When Sawyer led her to the bathroom and started a hot shower, Bellamy nodded her thanks.

  Sawyer rubbed her palms up and down Bellamy’s arms, trying to warm her up as the water came to temperature. “Th…thank you. Hard to believe I could be c…cold this time of year.”

  “If someone hadn’t made you jump in the pool fully clothed, you would be okay.”

  “I suppose that I had no say in that. Didn’t your momma ever tell you just because someone else jumps off a bridge, doesn’t mean you gotta do it.”

  “I think there were times my mom would have pushed me off.”

  Bellamy studied Sawyer with consternation. “I certainly hope not.” Bellamy closed her eyes and leaned into Sawyer’s touch, the heat of her hands and the nearness of their bodies started to warm her up. Without realizing it, her body moved toward Sawyer, longing to be near her. She wasn’t sure how long she stayed tucked against Sawyer’s body, reveling in the feel of her hands, before they stilled. Bellamy opened her eyes, immediately seeing raw desire in Sawyer’s. Bellamy couldn’t remember a time when someone had looked at her with such undisguised longing. She felt her body meld into Sawyer’s, searching for something she’d only dreamed of.

  Sawyer’s eyes flicked to Bellamy’s lips, moistened by the tip of her tongue. Her arms slid around Bellamy’s body, their curves fitting together perfectly. She could feel Bellamy’s nipples pressed against hers, and her blood pulsed between her thighs. Sawyer’s mind reeled, trying to focus her hazy thoughts into some sense of prudence, but desire overrode her ability to reason. She hesitated, letting Bellamy make the final move. The moment her lips met Bellamy’s, fireworks danced in her head. She forgot about everything but the woman in her arms.

  Bellamy’s knees nearly buckled, and she linked her hands behind Sawyer’s head to steady herself. She never imagined anyone’s lips could be so soft. When Sawyer’s tongue slipped between her lips and brushed against hers, a fire lit deep in her soul, burning her to her very core. Her tongue danced with Sawyer’s, electricity pulsing through her veins. There was nothing in Bellamy’s sheltered life that could have prepared her for the magic she felt in this one kiss. Everything she imagined about this moment paled in comparison to the feeling of Sawyer’s lips against hers.

  Sawyer slid her hands over Bellamy’s shirt, needing to feel her. She rubbed her palms up and down Bellamy’s back. Her hands moved across her side and rested just beneath the swell of her breasts, her fingers longing for more. She slid her thumb beneath Bellamy’s shirt and pressed it against her abdomen, feeling her muscles harden at her touch.

  “Mm.” Bellamy moaned and deepened the kiss, pressing against Sawyer’s hand. She needed more. Her body, newly awakened, pulsed with energy. She wanted Sawyer’s hands, her mouth on her, something to assuage the ache between her legs. She grabbed Sawyer’s shoulders and pushed her against the sink, sending a small basket of toiletries crashing to the ground. The sound startled them both. Bellamy pulled away, a dazed look on her face.

  Sawyer watched as the glazed look in her eyes gave way to a look of horror. “Bellamy, I…”

  Bellamy shook her head from side-to-side, silencing Sawyer. She touched her fingertips to her now swollen lips as the realization of what she’d done washed over her. She backed as far as she could into the corner, lost and frightened. Her mind fended off the lust that still pulsed in her body. “Please just leave.”

  Sawyer opened her mouth to respond, but the look in Bellamy’s eyes stopped her. She pulled the door open and retreated out of the room, her last vision one of Bellamy sinking to the floor with her head in her hands.

  Chapter Eight

  November 2013

  “That smells delicious!” Kevin reached around his mother and swiped a piece of turkey, popping it in his mouth and dancing away before she could swat him with her towel.

  “Keep your filthy paws off my turkey.” Bellamy flicked her eyes toward the stairs. “You stink. Go take a shower while I set the table.”

  Kevin sniffed his armpit and grinned evilly. “It’s just a little sweat. I’m almost there, though. I’ve been working on the pointers Cody gave me. Coach is gonna love it.”

  At the mere mention o
f Sawyer, Bellamy’s body shivered. The morning after their kiss, Bellamy had been cold and distant. She couldn’t even look Sawyer in the eyes, much less talk about what had happened. The few times Sawyer called and urged Bellamy to at least discuss it, Bellamy shut it down without hesitation. How could she explain to Sawyer that she felt as though she had let everyone down? It was one thing to lust after Sawyer. That, Bellamy felt she could justify. She had been alone for so long that the feeling of being wanted and held by someone had clouded her judgment. But to kiss her, to let her touch her, to want to make love to her – that was a sin Bellamy was certain she couldn’t commit.

  To this day, she hadn’t been able to forget that kiss. She relived the feelings as only someone who hungers for something they can’t have would. The touch, the taste, everything about Sawyer was etched in her brain and burned into her soul. She felt the heat rise in her cheeks, and subconsciously she ran the tips of her fingers over the sensitive skin at the base of her neck.

  Kevin watched his mother closely. He was getting used to these moments when she went someplace else. He suspected it had to do with his coach, but he wasn’t sure, nor would he inquire if it were so. He never knew what happened between them that weekend. He noticed immediately the shift in their budding friendship. He witnessed the awkward good-byes as they’d parted. It saddened him. His mother seemed to genuinely like Sawyer. The past few months had borne witness to the fact that something was wrong, and he surmised it was his mother missing Sawyer. He’d broached the subject of visiting several times, but his mother was always busy. “Coach said they got my letter okay.”

  “Oh good.” Bellamy faxed Kevin’s Letter of Intent last week, but hadn’t heard anything since.