Shattered Lives Mended Hearts

by Lena Nicole

  “Well, in all honesty, no. The thought never really crossed my mind. I just figured…well, I don’t really know what I figured.” Losing my appetite at the thought of Pierce or Colin dating someone else, I push my food aside. I turn my attention to the window and stare out of it.

  Colby places her hand on mine. “Look, I’m not asking because I’m trying to put more stress on your plate,” she assures me.

  I turn my head back toward her, “Then why are you suddenly asking? What sparked your curiosity?” I question. My tone is a bit too harsh, but I need to know why she’s asking this. I can’t help but feel like there’s more then she’s initially leading on.

  “Well, I only ask because the other day when I was meeting a friend from school for lunch, I saw Pierce,” she answers.

  “Okay. Pierce eats out all the time. With me, his family, for business. Did you say hello?” I ask, still not sure where she’s going with this.

  Colby is fidgeting with her fork and biting her lip. She won’t make eye contact with me and I can feel the table shaking from her bouncing leg under it. It suddenly dawns on me why she’s beating around the bush.

  “Colby,” I say, looking at her firmly until she looks up at me. Once she does, I continue, “you said you saw Pierce at lunch. What was he doing?” I ask, not really sure I want to hear the answer. The way Colby is acting is freaking me out a little.

  “Well, I was walking out of the restaurant and when I was leaving, I thought I saw Pierce.”

  Before she can continue, I put up my hand to stop her. “You say you thought you saw Pierce. Was it him or not?”

  “Oh, it was him all right. I was going to go over to say hello, until I saw he wasn’t alone. I don’t know how I didn’t notice her before.”

  Her. Did Colby just say her? Who does she mean by ‘her?’ I’m about to bite Colby’s head off for dragging this on and not getting to the point when she says, “Look, Addison, maybe I shouldn’t say anything. I mean, it could have been nothing.”

  “No, please continue. I want to know what you saw,” I tell her in a stern tone, implying this is not up for argument.

  She nods her head and continues, “Like I said, I saw Pierce and I was about to say hello until I saw that bitch, Samantha, with him.” Colby pauses and I can tell she is trying to see if I want her to continue. I raise one eyebrow out of sheer shock at the mention of Samantha’s name. “As I was about to walk over to say hello, I noticed they were holding hands.”

  I feel like my heart just stopped for a moment. I sit back in the booth and feel my shoulders slump as I soak in what Colby just told me. She starts to speak again, but I hold up my finger, signaling for her that I need a minute. I can’t believe what I’m hearing. Pierce at lunch with Samantha, holding her hand.

  “Wow… just wow,” I say, shaking my head. “I definitely was not expecting you to say that.” I’m still in shock to form anything more.

  “When he saw me glaring at him, he pulled his hand away from her. Did he mention to you that he was seeing her again?”

  “No, why would he? I didn’t even know he was talking to her again, let alone on a hand holding basis with her,” I spew out my words angrily.

  “Are the guys supposed to be exclusive? I mean, when you sat them down and spoke to them, was that issue addressed at all? Were there any rules set in place when you guys made this agreement? Are they allowed to date other people, or are you only allowed to date two people?” she fires off all her questions quickly.

  “Rules,” I say, laughing at her. “Who would have thought I needed rules to date two guys? I was just stupid enough to assume they would both wait for me, while I figured out who the right choice is.” I take money out of my purse and put it on the table. I’m too pissed off right now to just sit here. “Look, Colby, I have to run. I’ll call you later.” Before she can say anything, I’m out the door heading for my car.

  As I’m driving home, I decide I can’t just go and sit at home. I need to be out somewhere. I need… looking at the clock I see it’s three o’clock. I need a drink. Yes, that is what I need. I’m a block away from Docs, so I pull off, park in the lot, and call Colin. By the time he answers, I’m at the door, ready to walk in.

  “Hey, Addy, what’s up?” he answers.

  “Hey, listen. I need to talk. I’m about to go crazy and I need to unload. Can you please meet me at Docs?”

  I hear Colin clear his throat. “Sure, I can meet you, but do you want to go somewhere else? Maybe we can go to the place on the corner of the pier and sit outside, since it’s such a nice day,” Colin suggests. He sounds a little nervous and I can’t imagine why.

  “I’m already at Docs. I’m about to walk through the door and I need a drink. Can you please just meet me here?” I plead.

  “Okay, yeah, sure. I’ll be there in a minute,” he says.

  “Thanks, Colin. I’ll see you soon,” I say, before hitting end and putting my phone away.

  I open the door to Docs and am thrown off by the open windows and the light pouring in. I’m so used to coming here at night. The light illuminating the room gives me a better look at its rustic feel. I make my way to the bar to grab a seat when I see Brooklyn walk out of the back door. Just great. I never really liked her; she always rubbed me the wrong way. She has this skanky look to her, but today, I think I can overlook it, since she is about to serve me my much-needed drink.

  “Well, well, look what the cat dragged in,” Brooklyn says as she rests herself on her arms, shoving her boobs in my line of sight.

  “Hey, Brooklyn, long time, no see. How have you been?” I ask, even though I’m really not interested in small talk with her.

  “Oh, you know, just getting some much needed kinks worked out, if you know what I mean,” she answers and winks at me. Unfortunately, I do know what she means. This whole town knows what she means. She has always been crude, so I’m not shocked by her answer. In fact, she has been working at Docs long enough that nothing she does really shocks me anymore. “So what can I get you? A martini?”

  “Actually, can I get something a little stronger? It’s one of those days,” I tell her.

  As Brooklyn is pouring me a shot, I feel someone come up from behind me and place a kiss on my neck. I spin around on my stool and hug Colin.

  “Hey, thanks for coming. I’m having a rough afternoon,” I say. Hearing a glass hit the bar, I spin around to see that Brooklyn placed a shot down on it for me.

  “I can see that,” he says while eyeing my shot. “I’ll have whatever she’s having,” he tells Brooklyn.

  Brooklyn licks her lips and winks at Colin before walking away. Colin glares at her before turning his attention to me.

  “Let’s grab a table. We will probably have fewer interruptions. I can go up and get our drinks,” he says as Brooklyn is placing his shot in front of him. He looks a little uncomfortable, and I can’t figure out why.

  “I’m good here. Colin, are you okay? You look a little off. Did I pull you away from something?” I ask, noticing his posture is a bit stiff and he’s bouncing his leg anxiously.

  “Yeah, Colin, why are you being so weird?” Brooklyn asks, placing two beers in front of us with a smirk on her face.

  “I’m not being weird. Would you mind giving us a minute to talk? Please?” he asks Brooklyn with an edge to his voice. Brooklyn walks off and leaves us to talk. We talk for a while, filling each other in on everything going on and we even share a few laughs, remembering the fun times we had in this bar. It’s nice to reminisce and has taken my mind off of things. After a couple drinks, Colin brings my attention back to the reason why I asked him here.

  “So, you said you wanted to talk. What’s up? What has you so upset?” he asks while grabbing my hand in his.

  “Are you seeing other people?” I blurt out. I see Colin’s eyes widen slightly as his grip on my hand tightens a little. He starts looking around the bar and I’m not sure what he is looking for.

  Once his gaze lands on me, he a
nswers, “No, why would you even ask that?”

  “I’m sorry. I just had to. I was at lunch with Colby and she saw Pierce holding hands with his ex.” Colin’s eyes get a cold look in them and his nostrils start to flare as he clenches his jaw. Before he can get more worked up, I continue, “Look, if you feel uncomfortable talking about this, I can call Morgan. I just wanted to know if you were dating someone else too.”

  “No, Addison, I’m not dating anyone else. And that asshole shouldn’t be dating anyone else either. If he loves you like he says he does, he would at least wait until you decide who you want to be with before sticking his dick in someone else,” he spits out.

  Before I can say anything else, Brooklyn walks up to our end of the bar. “You look wound up,” she says to Colin, handing him a shot before looking at me with a smug smile on her face. “Why don’t you let Addison go home to her husband? I’m getting off early so we can go back to my place and pick up where we left off. I can get all that pent up frustration out of you real good.”

  Wait...what? Did she just say what I think she said? Surely I must not have heard her right. There is no way Colin would sleep with her. I look away from Brooklyn and turn to Colin. His face is red and he’s glaring at Brooklyn. I can feel all the color draining from my face as I feel my stomach turn, and it isn’t from the alcohol.

  When Colin looks at me, I see guilt written all over his face. I ask the question, even though the answer is pretty clear. “What is she talking about, Colin?” I’m angry as hell, but all I hear is disappointment in my voice as the words come out.

  Brooklyn is looking back and forth between me and Colin. She grabs my left hand where my wedding ring should be. She lets out a laugh as she puts my hand back down after examining it. “Oh my God. Does she remember who you are?” she asks Colin before laughing again. I don’t see what is so funny about this. “I guess I will have to find someone else to keep my bed warm at night.” She’s still laughing as she walks through the door that leads to the kitchen.

  I look at Colin, “Please tell me you didn’t.”

  OH, SHIT.

  That’s the first thing that runs through my head when she asks me if I’ve slept with Brooklyn. I knew coming here was a terrible idea. I guess I was just hoping Brooklyn wouldn’t be here yet, since it’s still pretty early in the day. No such luck. I glance over at her as she walks back out of the kitchen with the smallest grin on her face. What a bitch. She did this on purpose.

  I bring my eyes back to Addison and it crushes me. Her eyes are wide and pleading with me. I want to take that look away and make her feel better, but I know the truth is only going to make this worse. I contemplate for about five seconds on whether or not I should lie and come to a decision.

  “Yes, it happened a couple of times,” I say as I glance down at the bar. It’s too hard to look at her fallen expression.

  “Are you fucking kidding me, Colin? That’s disgusting! I can’t believe you did that!” My eyes snap back up to hers. She’s seething now, and getting louder by the second. This only fuels my anger and residual hurt from the past year.

  “You’ve got a lot of nerve, sitting here judging me. Do I need to remind you that you were getting married to another man?! I was at the goddamn wedding, for Christ sakes! How the hell are you getting mad at me for something you were clearly doing as well? I was just trying to cope with losing you.” I feel the vein in my neck bulging out as I lay it all out there for her. I’m so mad at her, my breaths are coming out heavy, and I feel like I’m staring daggers into her face.

  She stammers for a second before replying, “That’s different.” She looks away from me, and I can tell she’s not that confident with her response and probably knows it’s a bunch of bullshit.

  I hold my hands out and say, “How? Is it different because you were going to marry him, and I was just fucking her?”

  Her eyes go wide and reflect the revulsion she feels from my comment. “No, because you knew who I was. You remembered us this whole time, Colin. That’s the difference. How could you do that while you supposedly had feelings for me, huh?”

  I take a deep breath, trying to hold in my anger. The last thing I need is to blow up on her like I did when I found out she was fucking Pierce. Funny how that knowledge led to me sleeping with Brooklyn in the first place.

  “What was I supposed to do? I waited for you, but you were moving on and pushing me away. You made it perfectly clear from the beginning that you didn’t want me. You called off the engagement, you gave me back my ring, hell, you even gave me the ‘let’s be friends’ speech. And, since we’re all being honest here, why don’t you just admit that you didn’t really care about regaining your memory the moment you met Pierce? It was easier for you to do it that way and leave me behind. So, was I supposed to pine away for you for the rest of my life? Maybe wait ten years from now when we’re really sure that your memories of us are gone forever?”

  I run my hands roughly through my hair as my temper rises. “You got a fucking dog together, for crying out loud! You moved in with him, and let’s not forget that I actually went to the home you shared together in an attempt to maintain a friendship with you. Do you have any idea how hard that was for me? Of course you don’t. Thank God Charlotte was there. And let me remind you, one more time, that you were WALKING DOWN THE FUCKING AISLE!” I’m standing from my stool at this point, leaning into her as I spew out all my pent up resentment. I’m completely frustrated and angry with this entire fucked up situation. How dare she question my actions and cast judgment on me?

  Am I proud of the drinking and screwing I did in an attempt to block out the pain? Definitely not. But, the last thing I need is for Addison to give me her judgmental looks and accuse me of things when she has no right. We weren’t together, and I was always around the happy fucking couple, wishing that things were different and that it was me instead of Pierce.

  I’m still staring at her, waiting for her to reply. My last sentence causes her to visibly flinch and I think she knows that she’s in the wrong to point fingers at me, but it’s too late. She’s already dug up all these raw emotions I’ve been trying to bury since her memory came back.

  I drag my hand over my face and say, “Fuck this. I’m out of here.”

  I throw some money on the bar, turn around, and walk out of the door.

  WATCHING COLIN storm out of Docs pisses me off even more. I guess he has nothing left to say to me, but that doesn’t mean I’m done talking to him. I am so hurt that I feel nothing but anger and disgust right now. I hear something being put down on the bar and turn my attention to see what it is. I see Brooklyn standing there, grinning. She looks like the cat that ate the canary, and I just want to punch that smug smile right off her face.

  “I figure you might need this one for the road. You know, you really shouldn’t be giving Colin a hard time about this. In case you don’t remember, you forgot who he was, not the other way around.”

  I glare at Brooklyn. “I don’t remember asking for your opinion,” I say as I push the still-filled shot toward her. She probably spit in it anyway. She holds up her hands in surrender, but I know her well enough to know she would do anything but.

  “Fine by me. I should head out of here. It looks like my bed won’t be empty tonight after all.” She spins on her boots and whistles a happy tune as she exits the bar. Fucking bitch.

  I no longer want to be in this bar. I push the stool out from under me as I stride toward the exit. I push the door open with a little too much force and it hits the wall before bouncing back closed. I get into my car and slam the door shut. I take a minute to try and calm my nerves before driving home. It is then that I allow myself to let the hurt overcome the anger, and I feel a single tear slowly make its way down my cheek. I wipe the tear away. No, I will not cry. That is what the old Addison would do. Sit in her car and cry her eyes out. I’m going to deal with this Brooklyn problem head-on, even if Colin doesn’t want to. I will give him a day or two to cool off, but
then, we are going to discuss this.

  THE SUN shining through my window wakes me up from the deep sleep I was in. I had a hard time falling asleep and was tossing and turning all night. I called Morgan and Colby, asking if they could come over today and they both said they’d be over in the afternoon. I get up, take a shower and throw on my bathing suit. I grab a cup of coffee and head out to the back deck to lie out for a little. I hear the door slide open and see Morgan. She looks like she’s ready for a photo shoot. She has her bikini on, a big fancy hat on her head, and heels on her feet. I always admire how she can make the simplest things look runway ready.

  “Hey Morgan, what’s up?” I ask, placing my cup on the table.

  “Oh the usual,” she says shrugging her shoulders. “I’d ask how you are, but you look like you haven’t slept in ages.”

  “That’s because I haven’t been sleeping well lately,” I tell her, not wanting to get into the reason behind my sleepless night.

  “That seems to be happening a lot lately. I know I suggested it, but are you sure dating two guys isn’t too much on you? I can’t help but feel like you’re stressed all the time,” she says while eyeing me with concern.

  “I know it seems like I’m stressed all the time, mainly because I am. But I don’t know, I don’t want to make the wrong decision and regret it the rest of my life. I just want everyone to be happy. I know that isn’t going to happen, and someone is going to end up alone. I want to make sure I don’t choose one guy and later on down the line realize it was the wrong choice only to break that guy’s heart too. I know it sounds selfish, but I’m so worried about doing the wrong thing. I don’t want to jump into a decision I’m not one hundred percent sure about.” I lie down in the chair and close my eyes to guard them from the bright sun.

  “I have to say, although I know both men just wish you would pick them, I’m glad you’re taking the time to decide and not jumping the gun on this decision,” she says.