Saving My Submission BN

by Jenna Jacob

  “Enough. I’m going to come down your sinful throat if you don’t stop,” he cautioned with a hoarse cry as he pulled from my mouth. Guiding me onto my back, he snagged my wrists and raised my arms above my head. “Keep them there and open your legs for me, gorgeous.”

  The affection reflecting in his brilliant eyes made me feel more adored than his words. I complied with a wistful sigh, and Joshua fed inch after sweet, burning inch, inside me. My pussy was sore, but I didn’t care. This might be our last time together. I had no intention of refusing him… not for anything in the world.

  With one hand wrapped around my wrist, he feathered the fingers of his other hand over my clit, fully seating himself inside my quivering passage. Locked in his gaze, covered by his rugged body, and filled with his turgid shaft, I ached to stay in this exact moment until the end of time.

  “Remember, Mellie. When you’re across the pond and alone in your bed at night, remember my hunger; remember my claim. You belong to me.” As he ended his declaration with a snarl, I shuddered.

  Dragging his wide crest over my G-spot, demand sizzled and hissed. “Yours… yes,” I murmured, lost in a mist of pure pleasure.

  He issued a roar, half feral and hungry, the other half fraught in something that sounded like torment, then he bent and captured my mouth with his. Devouring and demanding, I yielded to his thrusting tongue and his driving hips. One minute insistent and frenzied, the next so slow and velvety it nearly brought me to tears.

  Swirling in a vapor of emotional highs and lows, I clung to his glistening body, riding each crest as it built and blazed. Blocking out whatever tomorrow might bring, I seized each glorious second he bathed me in sweet, sublime splendor.

  Holding back my release as the pressure built and throbbed, I stared into his fiery gaze watching as he summoned the strength to hold back, one painstaking second at a time. A low grumble vibrated from deep in his chest, and Joshua sucked in a ragged breath. Shaking his head refusing to concede to the blaze within, he kissed my nose and issued a melancholy smile.

  “Come for me, little one,” he whispered in a tone suffused in such reverence it nearly shattered my heart. “Look at me and come undone for me, precious girl.”

  Even as his image blurred I stared at him as the force of my orgasm stole the air from my lungs.

  “Mine,” he declared as he released his hot seed, showering my clutching passage.

  Collapsing onto his elbows, Joshua buried his face against my neck. His thundering heart reverberated against my chest as we clung to one another, panting and sweating. Clutching him in my arms, I felt as if the potent connection we shared was being severed in two with a rusty saw.

  Long minutes passed, and neither of us said a word. We didn’t have to. There was silent understanding as we gazed into each other’s eyes. Begrudgingly he eased off me, then cradled me in his arms and carried me into the bathroom. Joshua started the shower then lowered me beneath the hot, silky spray. As his seed and virile scent washed down the drain, a sense of grief gripped my soul.

  “After we’re all cleaned up, I’ll call us a cab and take you back to Dylan and Nick’s place.”

  I smiled and kissed his soft lips. “I’d like that. Can you spend the day with me… I mean, if you don’t have any other plans?”

  “There’s nothing in my life that can’t be put on hold for a day, Mellie.”

  “Thank you, Josh… err, Sir.”

  He grinned then pulled me in for another toe-curling kiss.

  Sitting in the back of the taxi, I felt like I was taking the ride of shame. Joshua had given me a jacket to wear over my corset, but the short black leather skirt gave me away. As he paid the cabbie, I rushed up and rang the bell.

  Joshua joined me on the porch as Dylan opened the door. Sanna’s Master looked surprised before a smug smile curled on his lips.

  “I’m sorry I didn’t call ahead of time, Dylan. Joshua…err, Stephen, grrrr,” I hissed. Both men smirked. “Master Stephen’s car was vandalized at the club last night, and I got an emergency call from a client. I have to leave tomorrow.”

  Dylan frowned just as Sanna stepped in behind him.

  “Tomorrow?” she cried. “No. You just got here. You can’t go yet, Mel… you just can’t.”

  Tears welled up in her eyes and her chin started to quiver. I was already hanging by an emotional thread, and my sister’s disappointment tugged the fraying fiber. It took several seconds for me to choke down my own sadness.

  “I know. I don’t want to go, but I have to.”

  “What happened to your SUV, man?” Dylan asked, motioning us inside.

  As soon as I hit the foyer, I hugged Sanna tight, grappling with my own bleak sadness.

  “Tires got slashed. Carnation…” Joshua frowned.

  “You’ve got to be shitting me.” Dylan gaped.

  “Nope. She swears she didn’t do it, but she was the only one at the scene. Hell, when it comes to her, who knows what to believe?”

  Wiping the tears from Sanna’s cheeks, I forced a soft smile. “Don’t cry. I hate seeing you sad.”

  “What was she doing there? Mika banned her ass,” Dylan asked darting a glance at his girl before trailing a sympathetic caress down her arm.

  “What’s going on?” Nick joined us in the foyer, his expression lined in concern.

  “Let’s go to the kitchen,” Dylan suggested as he bent and kissed Sanna’s head. “Come on, kitten. No more tears. She’ll be back.”

  “Yes, she will.” Joshua nodded with a confident smile.

  “Who’s going where?” Nick asked in confusion. “And why are you crying, precious?”

  “Come on, bro. We’ll explain it all,” Dylan replied with a jerk of his head. “Who wants a beer?”

  The five of us sat around the kitchen table, filling Nick in on the chain of events. Minutes turned into hours, and by then we’d moved to the deck, laughing and swapping stories. Dylan and Nick decided to grill some chicken, so Sanna and I popped into the kitchen so she could prepare the side dishes.

  “You don’t want to leave him, do you?” she asked, with a probing stare.

  “No. If it weren’t Hayes and Dixie, I’d decline and suggest another designer. But they’ve been with me for years. I couldn’t tell them ‘no’. Besides, it’s a ridiculous amount of money to turn down.”

  “Is it enough money to keep you from missing him? He’s going to miss you. You know that, right?”

  “Yeah, I know. I’m going to miss him too, and you.” I grinned, poking her in the arm.

  “You really need to move up here, Mel.” She pouted. “I don’t mean to harp, but… think about it. I mean, really think about it. Please? For me? And maybe even a little bit for him.”

  I stared out the window just as Joshua threw his head back, laughing at something Dylan had said. I was going to miss Joshua’s laugh and the easy banter we shared. Not to mention the way my body tingled when he looked at me with those decadent green eyes. Sobering, I hoped it might be easier for him to sort out his demons, if he could, without me around.

  As if sensing my stare, he turned and smiled, warming me from the inside out. Yes, I was going to miss him far more than I had a right to. Saying good-bye was going to be brutal, but I wasn’t ready to start shoring up my armor. We had the rest of the day, and hopefully the night to spend together. I could sleep on the plane and mend my heart, and if I got lucky, I’d manage to wrap myself so thoroughly up with work that I wouldn’t miss him.

  Good luck with that, cupcake.

  “Mel?” Sanna jabbed me with her elbow.

  “Huh?”

  “I said your name like five times. Where were you?” she asked, peeking over my shoulder then snorted. “Never mind. I know exactly where your mind was… and you called me a dirty little monkey.”

  “Well, we are cut from the same cloth,” I reminded her with a laugh.

  “That we are, sis. Hey, if you’ll grab the salad dressing, I think we’ll be set.”

&
nbsp; As I bent to retrieve the bottles, the sliding glass door opened and all three men paraded in. Nick set a platter of sizzling chicken on the counter. A mouth-watering aroma of smoke and spices filled the room.

  Joshua stepped up behind me, crowding in close, and leaned his mouth to my ear. “It’s dangerous to bend over like that in front of me, little one. Need any help?”

  I smiled and wiggled my ass against his crotch, then flashed him a lurid smile over my shoulder. “Not with this, but I could sure use some later.”

  “Minx,” he chuckled before gliding his tongue over the shell of my ear. “Believe me. Dylan and Nick won’t mind a bit if I lay you over the kitchen table and spank your ass.”

  “Is that all you want to do to it?” I smirked.

  “Hell, no. I want to sink balls deep inside it.” His expression looked animalistic. “By the way, you’re not leaving until I’ve had that pleasure, little one.”

  The thought of Joshua’s cock buried in my ass made my body tremble so violently I almost dropped the salad dressing.

  “Easy,” he laughed and slid the bottles from my fingers.

  “Okay, no sex in the kitchen,” Sanna called from the table.

  “Why not, precious?” Nick smirked. “We have sex in the kitchen all the time.”

  Sanna’s face turned beet red and she gasped. “Master,” she choked.

  “Well, we wipe the damn table and counters off when we’re through,” Dylan chuckled. “What’s the big deal, kitten?”

  “Oh, my god,” she whispered, utterly mortified.

  “Sanna,” I giggled. “It’s okay, baby sis. I know you have sex… sex with two men at once. I’m not shocked or appalled. It’s all good.”

  I gave her knowing wink as Joshua held a chair for me. Sitting next to me, he grinned.

  “I think it’s safe to say there are no virgins here,” Nick chuckled as he filled his salad bowl.

  “Well, so much for the sacrifice we’d planned for later,” Dylan quipped.

  “And just where were you going to get a virgin?” Sanna laughed.

  “We hadn’t gotten that far yet.” Dylan grinned filling his bowl next. “We’d only gotten to tying you up and pretending you were a virgin.”

  I chuckled as I took a bite of a drumstick. The thought of losing this wonderful family, and the contentment I’d found with Joshua, hurt.

  “I guess I’m going to have to give you a rain check,” Joshua commented as he grazed his knuckles over my thigh beneath the table.

  “Rain check?”

  “Dinner tonight… looks like we’re having it here instead.” He smiled.

  It was hard to believe he’d only asked me out the day before. So much had happened so quickly it suddenly seemed surreal.

  “No worries,” he declared. “We’ll do it when you get back.”

  “You’re coming back?” Sanna asked with elation.

  “Yes, but I’m not sure when… exactly,” I stammered.

  “In three weeks.” Joshua’s statement sounded more like a question.

  “That’s fantastic,” Sanna squealed.

  “I… it might be a little bit longer than three… weeks,” I spluttered.

  “Why?” Joshua pinned me with a wary frown.

  “Well, I’ll need to go back home sometime… pay my bills, check on the house. Do laundry, re-pack... That kind of thing.”

  He issued a nod of understanding as his demeanor turned brittle and cold.

  “I’ll get things taken care of as soon as I can. Trust me. I’d rather be here in Chicago with you all than sitting in front of my computer at home.”

  “You booked your flight already, right?” Sanna asked.

  “Yes. I logged onto my computer a little while ago. I leave for New York at eight in the morning.”

  “Do you need a ride to O’Hare?” Nick asked.

  “No,” Joshua interrupted as I snapped my mouth shut. “I’ll take her.”

  The thought of having to say good-bye to him in a crowded airport full of strangers made my skin crawl. I didn’t like farewells and this one, I feared, would be exceptionally difficult. Instead of challenging the man at the dinner table, I bit my tongue, and stifled my knee-jerk reaction. Later, when we were alone, I’d spill my guts and try to explain why I didn’t want him to take me.

  Suddenly the smell of the food made my stomach swirl. I took a gulp of water, praying no one noticed my hands shaking, but of course Joshua picked up on it right away.

  “If you’ll excuse us?” Joshua smiled as he stood and took my hand. Without another word, he led me out the back door toward the wooden railing overlooking Lake Michigan.

  “What’s wrong?” I asked as he watched a boat off in the distance.

  “That’s my question to you, little one. The minute I offered to take you to the airport you tensed and started shaking. I want to know why?”

  “You didn’t offer. You told me you were going to take me.”

  “Oh, so we’re back to that again? Come on, Mellie, I thought we’d made some headway.”

  The man was nothing, if not direct. I sucked in a deep breath and closed my eyes, aligning my thoughts. Turning to face him, I reached up and ran my fingertips along the crease of his brow.

  “I’m not good at saying good-bye, Joshua.”

  “But we’re not saying good-bye, Mellie. We’re simply saying… see you soon.”

  Maybe. Maybe not.

  “I need to warn you, my job… it goes in spurts. There’s times when I’m flying from one side of the world to the next, not even sure what airport or city I’m landing in. It’s hectic, and stressful. Usually one phone call from a client leads to another. I don’t know for sure that I’ll be able to come back in three weeks.”

  “So based on past experience, you’re anticipating a slew of clients will call and book you up for what? Weeks? Months?”

  “It’s a possibility.” I nodded.

  “I see. Were you going to tell me all this? Were you going to wait and tell me in three weeks… or whenever you got your laundry done?”

  That icy edge was back, and so was the impenetrable wall. There was no way in hell I was going to end this… whatever this was with him… in a nasty fight.

  Pausing, I mentally smoothed my hackles back down and put my temper in time-out.

  “I’d planned to tell you once we were alone, Sir.” My calm demeanor and stress of the honorific took the starch out of him. “I’m sorry you thought I was trying to keep details from you, Master Stephen.”

  A self-loathing smirk curled the side of his mouth and he nodded. The man had a touchy Dom switch. I seemed to flip that sucker nearly every time I opened my mouth.

  “So you’d rather Dylan, Nick, and Savannah take you to the airport in the morning?”

  “No, Sir. I’d rather take a cab.”

  He cocked his head and stared at me. “That seems like a rather cold and impersonal way to leave your family.”

  “Yes, I suppose it is.” I nodded.

  Out of nowhere tears filled my eyes and streamed down my cheeks. I knew I had to explain my visceral reaction, but I wasn’t altogether sure I could speak. Tossing my head back in an attempt to stem the flow, I sniffed.

  “If something should happen to me, and I never come back home, I don’t want my sister’s last memory of me to be waving good-bye in a throng of strange faces. I want her to remember my smile, my hug, the kiss I left on her cheek, and me saying, ‘I’ll see you soon’ before I climb into a cab and drive away.”

  CHAPTER NINE

  Joshua wrapped his arms around me and held me lovingly. “Who did you lose that you never got a chance to say good-bye to, pet?”

  “Our parents,” I choked on a sad sob.

  “Then I’m staying here with you tonight. And in the morning, I’ll stand on the porch, hold you in my arms, savor your kiss, and drink in your beautiful smile, and before you pull away in the cab, I’ll tell you… I’ll see you soon. But make no mistake. I’ll be here w
hen you come back to me.” He kissed my forehead, sealing his vow.

  His acceptance of my fears was all but crushing. He took my hand and led me toward the lake. We walked for what seemed like miles as I told him about the death of my parents, about raising Savannah, and finally confessed the toll Davis Walker had claimed on my self-confidence.

  We touched briefly on the tragic accident that claimed his wife and daughter, but he wasn’t ready to share the hell he’d lived through after his loss. I suspected he was still living it to a degree, but then weren’t we both? You move on and live your life, but the emptiness left behind never goes away.

  When we arrived back at the house, Sanna was wearing a sly little smirk on her lips.

  “Something came for you, Mel.”

  “What?”

  Dragging me by the arm, she pulled me into the family room. “Good job,” she whispered to Joshua.

  “For what?” he asked in confusion.

  Sitting on the coffee table was a massive floral arrangement of yellow and white roses, along with huge day lilies in purples and pinks surrounded in rich green foliage. I blinked, then smiled and turned toward Joshua.

  “Oh my god, they’re gorgeous,” I cried, rushing to his arms. “Thank you so much.”

  “Ah…” he stammered, his body tensed and I pulled away. “I didn’t… I should have, but…”

  “They’re not from you?” I felt a bit awkward, but Joshua looked totally embarrassed.

  “Then who are they from?” Sanna asked, her brow wrinkling in question.

  I peeked through the arrangement and finally found the small envelope. Opening it, I read the card and my stomach pitched. Dropping the printed card on the table, I turned to Sanna. “Toss them out,” I instructed with a wave of my hand.

  Joshua leaned in and plucked up the card. Reading, his features hardened.

  “Who the hell are they from?” Sanna demanded, trying to peek over Joshua’s shoulder.