Switch Him Up & Turn Him On

by Marie Medina

  Christian put his hand on the counter to steady himself. He hadn’t been expecting all of this, yet it gave him hope. If Alec had all these plans for what Christian had to do to be forgiven, didn’t that mean he intended to forgive him? That didn’t guarantee he would take him back, but it certainly made it more likely.

  “Okay. That may take some time, but I can start today.”

  Alec nodded tersely. “Sit. You don’t look so hot. I’ll make breakfast.”

  “No, let me. It was my original plan, as fucked up as it was.”

  Alec almost smiled. Almost. Was he laughing at Christian on some level? Did he think he was pathetic? Christian felt beyond pathetic at that moment.

  Alec waved him toward the table and bent to get a frying pan out. “Yeah, it did have stalkerish overtones. But no, sit. I need something to occupy my mind right now.” He turned and muttered, “Something to do with my hands.”

  Christian obeyed and sat, wondering if he’d heard that right. Something to do with his hands? What would he do with them if they didn’t stay occupied? Far too many erotic images danced in his head, and he turned to look out the window of the small breakfast nook. Alec stood at the stove, and Christian couldn’t stop himself remembering how many mornings he had come up behind Alec and kissed the top of his head before snaking one hand around his waist and leaning over to plant another kiss on his cheek. Alec would blush and then playfully push him back every time. If Christian tried it now, Alec would probably twist around and punch him.

  The smell of cooking food reminded Christian that he hadn’t eaten since lunch the day before. He’d packed up his car and left shortly after noon, driving straight to Alec’s apartment. He’d been so happy when he saw Alec’s car and discovered his name still on the mailbox downstairs. That happiness had been short-lived, and rightly so. He hadn’t thought any of this through properly, even though he’d spent every waking moment thinking of Alec.

  “Don’t mope,” Alec said as he placed a glass of orange juice in front of Christian. “A big guy like you moping just looks … ridiculous.” He turned away as soon as he’d set the glass down and began making coffee.

  Christian studied Alec’s back as he stood watching the coffee brew, and he let his eyes drift appreciatively lower as Alec moved back to flip the bacon and then start scrambling some eggs. He noticed a long white scar running along the underside of Alec’s forearm as he popped bread into the toaster.

  “What happened to your arm?”

  Alec’s ears reddened. “I fell. Broke the glass top on the coffee table. That’s why there isn’t a table in the living room right now.”

  “How did you fall?”

  Alec plated the bacon and eggs and brought them to the table. Christian waited patiently as Alec got two plates and two forks, and then grabbed the toast right after it popped up. When he brought over the butter and a knife, Alec finally said, “I was drunk, and I tripped.”

  “Drunk?” Christian couldn’t hide his surprise because a drunk driver had killed Alec’s parents. He had actually given up alcohol because of the way being around it made Alec feel.

  Alec met his eyes for a moment before moving to the cabinet to get two cups. He did it all so naturally Christian could hardly stand not touching him, not pulling him close and kissing him. He’d missed the everyday parts of their life together so much.

  “You still like lots of sugar?” Alec asked.

  Christian nodded.

  Alec finally sat down and sighed. “I was upset about something, and I wanted to stop thinking for a little while. I didn’t go crazy or anything. I don’t drink, so it took very little to get me to that state. I called Derek, and he came over. I didn’t even need stitches, but I scar so easily it’ll probably never go away.”

  “So you have a permanent reminder of what a shit I am.”

  Alec kept his eyes on the table as he helped himself to the food. “Did I say it had anything to do with you?”

  “You didn’t have to.”

  Alec shifted his eyes to Christian’s empty plate. “Please eat. You’ll feel better.”

  Christian spooned up some eggs and buttered a piece of toast. The bacon was exactly the way he liked it, and the eggs had been scrambled with lots of pepper, even though Alec didn’t like pepper much at all. The silence stretched between them for a bit, until Christian couldn’t take it anymore.

  “I should go apologize to Dr. Frances for running out on him. He’ll probably throw a microscope at me.”

  Alec finally met his gaze. “He’ll probably cry and hug you. He worried a lot. Convinced you’d had an accident. He actually went to all the hospitals and left his card with a picture of you.”

  “What?”

  Alec closed his eyes. “Christian, come on.” He opened them again. “You didn’t tell anyone where you were going. You only took half of your stuff. You made no plans for another assistant to teach your labs. We expected you back in a few days.”

  “At first I thought I would be back in a few days, but I couldn’t make myself forget what I saw.”

  “Christian, you saw what you expected to see. Your jealousy painted something very different from reality. You said last night that I looked ‘drunk on his kiss’, but truth is I was so shocked I could hardly focus on him. That ‘fierce’ embrace was the result of me struggling against him. By the time I turned toward the door you were gone. You said I was kissing him, but he was the one who lunged at me. I know you couldn’t know that, but I told you dozens of times in messages. He came at me, and I was so startled I slipped off the couch. He followed and started kissing and touching me. I was trying to get him off me. You left, and he tried to kiss me again. I threw him off and tried to catch you, but he grabbed me.” He sighed. “And like you, like almost every guy I’ve ever known, he was stronger than I was, and I couldn’t get away. When I finally got rid of him, you weren’t at your place.”

  “Slept in my car, some parking lot. I don’t even remember. I got my stuff early the next day.”

  “I would have stayed there and waited if I’d known you’d skip town.” Alec tensed after he said this, as if he wished he hadn’t. “I need to get to work. Dr. Frances has an early meeting, but I can put you down for an appointment at ten if you want.”

  Christian wanted to talk about the first thing Alex had said, but he bit it back and nodded. “Yes, thank you. Go get ready, and I’ll clean up.”

  Alec nodded and quietly said, “Thanks.” He rose and finished his coffee, and then he unplugged his cell phone and slid it across the table. “Put in your new cell number so I can text you if he’s too busy.”

  Christian slid it back. “My number’s the same. I kept it, even after you stopped calling, just in case.”

  Alec’s mouth fell open. “So you got every message? The whole two months and hundreds of attempts?”

  Christian nodded. “I’m sorry.”

  “You’re a bastard,” Alec muttered as he turned away.

  Christian rose and began doing the dishes. Twenty minutes later Alec bolted past him, slamming the door as he left.

  Chapter 2

  Alec volunteered to stay in the basement and sort through old lecture notes for Dr. Frances. He didn’t want to risk running into Christian when he came by. By now, everyone knew he was back, but they had all been very kind and kept quiet instead of pestering him with questions. Even though he was twenty-six, most of the faculty and administrative staff still saw him as a kid because he’d done his undergraduate and graduate work at the university. He was content assisting Dr. Frances in the summer and teaching Biology 101 labs in the fall and spring semesters. Academic life suited him, though teaching had been hard after Christian first left because the building where the labs were taught held lots of memories. Dr. Frances had introduced them there when Christian started the graduate program, and they’d even shared their first kiss in one of the hallways.

  Checking his watch, he saw that it was almost eleven. Maybe it would be safe to go back
up now. Everyone fell silent as he walked the halls, but no one did anything. He stopped when he saw Dr. Frances standing outside his office. Alec gave him half a smile, and the older man gestured for him to come in. Dr. Frances closed the door and went to sit behind his desk.

  “You okay today, Alec?”

  “Very confused. Definitely not okay.”

  “I’m not surprised. I couldn’t believe it when I saw your note on my planner.”

  “I couldn’t believe it when he showed up last night. He still has a key to my place, and I thought he was a burglar.”

  “I interviewed Christian when he came here for grad school. I thought he was a little eccentric, but I honestly wouldn’t have ever expected him to do something like this.” Dr. Frances paused, straightening a few things on his desk. “He does seem genuinely sorry.”

  “That’s the thing. He actually thinks what he did made sense. He was so surprised we were all worried, that we had to clean up after him.”

  “This is only my opinion, but I think jealousy clouded his judgment. I was worried about it at the time, but I didn’t see it as any of my business.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I think he’d been bottling all of those feelings up, and what happened made them explode. Then he didn’t know how to fix everything, so he simply gave up. I wish Taylor all the best, but I wouldn’t be surprised if he ends up divorced. His issues with his sexuality were working their way to the surface for a long time.”

  Alec had never imagined having this kind of conversation with his mentor, but now he really wanted to know what the other man had to say. “You do?”

  “Yes. And your interest in him was obvious. Then Christian came along, and Taylor noticed the connection you two had. Even though he had never acted on it, he liked having your attention, I think. I can’t prove it, but I think he did lots of things on purpose to get your attention once you were with Christian. You might not have noticed, but Christian did.”

  “I didn’t realize any of that. If Christian had only told me how he felt, I would have made more of an effort not to be around Taylor.”

  “Like I said, it’s only my opinion, but to me it explains his illogical reaction. And to me, it jibes with what he had to say to me today. Perhaps it’s something you two should discuss.”

  “There are lots of things we should discuss.” He rose, knowing Dr. Frances had a class to get to. “Thanks.” He extended his hand, and Dr. Frances shook it warmly.

  “You’re welcome. And let Christian know that, if he stays, I’ll help in any way I can. I told him when he was here, but he seemed very reluctant to accept any help. The Dean wouldn’t let him have his job back here, given what happened, but there are always students who need tutors, and I happen to know the high school may be hiring for the upcoming school year.”

  “Thank you. I’ll reiterate the point.”

  “I’m sure he’s worried about other things at the moment, but I wanted you to know.”

  Alec nodded and left, immediately noticing the increased number of people milling around in the halls. Had his continued friendship with Taylor really frustrated Christian that much? Taylor’s seduction attempt had taken him completely by surprise, but had Christian seen it coming yet kept silent? What had he said the night before? I had good reason to believe he would steal you away from me if he only tried. He tried to imagine Christian spending time with someone he’d once had feelings for, and the surge of negative emotions made Alec stop in his tracks. Shaking himself out of such thoughts, Alec did his best to keep his expression neutral as he made his way to his own office. He’d left his cell phone there, and right about now he wondered if he’d have any messages. Part of him really hoped he’d have at least one.

  Christian pulled up outside the storage unit marked fifty-seven and looked around for Alec’s car. When he didn’t see it, he pulled his phone out and read Alec’s text again. Wanna meet @ 5 to go through your stuff? He’d replied with a yes, and Alec had sent him the address. Not exactly a deep conversation, but the simple connection felt good. Christian had felt so humbled by his talk with Dr. Frances. He still couldn’t fathom how his mentor could be so kind after what he’d done. In addition to feeling humbled by his reaction, Christian had also felt grateful for his understanding. To Christian’s surprise, Dr. Frances seemed to almost empathize with Christian’s irrational behavior to a degree, though he had still leveled several admonitions at him. Before Christian left his office, Dr. Frances had wished him luck and told him he believed Alec would come around. Those words had sustained him through the rest of the day. He’d gone to see Mrs. Connor, his former landlady, who had forced him to sit down and eat not only a big lunch but also two pieces of cake. Her happy attention and obvious relief had humbled him a second time. He’d gone right from her house to find as many of his friends as he could, finally understanding fully how much he had hurt everyone around him. Though most of them had made their anger and frustration clear, all of them had been genuinely happy to see he was all right. He’d always been guilty of doing things others found illogical, but truly seeing the lack of reason in his actions, and the way he’d hurt people by not thinking about their feelings, made him feel even more chastened.

  A knock at his window brought him out of his thoughts. Alec peered down at him, looking frantic and worried. Christian got out of the car quickly to find out what had upset Alec. “What’s wrong?”

  Alec raised his eyebrows, his face smoothing and relaxing a bit. “That’s my line. Are you okay?”

  Christian frowned, but then he felt a drop of moisture fall from his chin. He swiped at it, then at his cheeks. Crying. In front of Alec. He felt his entire body flush, mortified for Alec to see him like this. Christian turned away and wiped his sleeve over his face. “I’m fine. It’s just … everyone has been so understanding today. I guess I got a little overwhelmed there for a sec.”

  Christian stiffened when he felt the warm, gentle hand on his back. “It’s okay, Christian,” Alec whispered. “I’m glad you see how much they care, how concerned they were.”

  “Yeah.” He took a deep breath and turned around. “Sorry.”

  “Don’t be.” Alec pulled out a key and walked toward the door of the storage unit.

  Christian missed Alec’s touch right away, though his soft tone had comforted him a little. He wanted nothing more than to pull Alec to him and kiss the man until he nearly passed out from lack of oxygen right there in Christian’s arms. But he had to control those urges because Alec had made his feelings on anything physical between them very clear.

  Alec opened the door, yanked Christian inside, and shut the door quickly. Christian found himself in the dark pushed up against a pile of boxes with Alec’s mouth locked over his. He kept completely still, not touching Alec and simply letting him do whatever he wanted. One of Alec’s hands slid under Christian’s shirt as the other held him firmly by the neck. Alec gave him a deep, searching kiss that made Christian hard as a rock within seconds. The intense sweeps of Alec’s tongue inside his mouth soon had him moaning. Alec ended the kiss and buried his face against Christian’s neck, panting as he slid his other hand under Christian’s shirt and caressed him.

  “Alec, if you don’t want me to push things, you can’t do stuff like this.” He gasped as Alec’s hands moved over his stomach. “God, I’m ready to come right now.”

  “Are you?”

  The soft whisper sent shivers down Christian’s spine. “Don’t tease me. I know I don’t deserve any mercy, but—”

  Alec’s hand slipped lower to Christian’s cock, silencing him. Alec slowly slid down to his knees. Christian finally reached out to run one hand through Alec’s hair as his lover unhurriedly freed Christian’s cock from his jeans. He gasped when he felt Alec’s tongue tease him.

  “I want to see you,” Christian said. He longed to gaze down at Alec and watch him licking and sucking his cock.

  “No.”

  Alec’s aggressive tone surprised him,
as did the wave of lust that rolled over him. He didn’t protest anymore. Alec’s mouth felt perfect and amazing, and Christian couldn’t remember the shy man ever sucking him so hard. He gave in and let Alec have this bit of control, and in a way it felt so good. The pleasure built, and he felt keenly how long he’d been denying himself. He came quickly, and Alec swallowed all of it, which was almost enough to keep him hard even after he’d spilled.

  Alec stood and turned the light on, wiping his mouth as he came back over to Christian. “I’ve wanted to kiss you since I realized it was you in the living room, but I was still so hurt. Then I saw you with tears running down your face, and I nearly lost it right there.” He stroked Christian’s cheek. “This is the kind of change I meant. Letting go, feeling real emotions, giving up control. God, I loved it when I said no and you didn’t fight me.” Alec crushed his mouth in another kiss.

  Christian wrapped his arms around Alec, baffled but very happy. When Alec pulled away, Christian asked, “What does this mean? Are we together again? I have to know where I stand because I’m still a bit perplexed by what just happened.”

  Alec looked into his eyes. “You just ran, you know. You didn’t break up with me. You’re still mine, Christian. If you’re back, there must not be anyone else.” He raised his eyebrows, seemingly to urge Christian to confirm or deny that statement.

  “Of course not.” He took a breath to steady himself. “But I still have to prove myself? I’m both relieved and confused right now, Alec, and touching you isn’t helping my brain to function properly.”

  Alec smiled and laughed, which warmed Christian more than he would have expected. “Yes, you still have to show me you’re truly sorry, but I want it clear that you’re mine.” He sobered a bit. “And that I’m yours. I did some thinking, and I see where I made mistakes regarding Taylor. I shouldn’t have maintained the same kind of friendship, especially since I told you I had a thing for him like the second day we knew each other. I’m sorry if it made you feel as if you weren’t my number one priority. However, you still should have told me it bothered you.”