Being Zolt

by D. L. Raver

  “Well, shit! Way to go, Hamil,” I said to the now-empty room and hit myself on the forehead with my palm. “Stupid dick!”

  I flung myself on my bed, cringing when the harsh motion pulled the welts on my back. The sores were well on their way to being healed, but I still had some stinging pain, and flinging about didn’t help matters. I buried my face in the pillow on the massive four-poster, oak bed and cried.

  Zolt had a point. I really had no right to be upset. At least he hadn’t slept with the woman. Still, hearing he wanted to screw someone so soon after I left hurt.

  “Stupid twit,” I mumbled into the pillow. Honestly, what did I expect?

  Rufus jumped on the bed, startling me. I hadn’t realized he had followed me in the room.

  “Hi, boy,” I said, turning over so I could stroke his head. “Here we are again. Grieving for Chris. Grieving for Zolt. And grieving for myself.”

  Rufus whined and rolled on his back for a tummy rub. I swear the dog understood English, and I know he still missed Chris.

  “Irelyn,” Brody said through the door. “Can I come in?”

  I let out a long sigh and sat up, wiping my face with the back of my hand.

  Rufus barked and jumped off the bed. He headed for the door and barked again. The damn mutt had dog-handled me again.

  “All right,” I said, giving into Rufus. “You can come in.”

  Brody came in and gave Rufus a pat on the head. He shut the door and put his hands in the pockets of his khaki shorts. His dark hair stood on end as if he’d been running his fingers through it.

  “What did Zolt do now?” His sexy lips, the same as Zolt’s, were curved down in a frown.

  “It’s not his fault.” I pulled my knees to my chest. “I overheard him telling T-bone about the woman he had at his apartment, and I got upset. It’s not fair for me to point fingers and call him out because I have enough of my own shit to be blamed for.”

  “Zolt did what Zolt always does; he acts out when he’s overwhelmed. Sex is his go-to device. So is numbing himself. Calling him on it probably made him defensive.”

  “I just didn’t think he’d sleep with someone else.” I shuddered at the thought.

  “He didn’t, but that doesn’t excuse what he did. We’ve been talking some, and I think he’s ready to start therapy. I truly believe his usage will go down once he deals with his past. But his physical pain is real, and it’s here to stay. He’ll always need some type of pain relief.”

  “I know. He did mention that he’s had some revelations since I left.”

  Brody pulled up a chair and sat alongside the bed. “Irelyn, I hate to push, but I hoped you might want to talk with me. I can understand if you’re not ready to talk to Zolt, but T-bone needs all the information he can get.”

  I exhaled and bit the side of my lip. “It was bad, Brody. Really fucking bad.”

  “I’m sure.” He reached over and squeezed my hand. “Why don’t you make yourself comfortable and tell me about it.”

  “So, lie on your proverbial couch?” I laughed.

  “Something like that.” He grinned back.

  I stretched out on the bed and clutched a pillow to my chest. Brody was right; I needed to tell them what happened, especially if it could help Kenna.

  “Marcus is the king of the mind-fuck,” I began, my hands squeezing and twisting the pillow as I recounted my story. I told him everything, from how he’d fed me all the foods I hated to not giving me any clothes to change into.

  Brody’s brow furrowed, creating a line between his brows. “Wow, what a cocksucker!”

  “Is that your professional opinion?” I laughed, liking that Brody could lighten the situation some.

  “Yes, it is. Cocksucker is a technical term.”

  “Ha.”

  “Marcus used classic torture techniques. He stripped you of your dignity by not giving you clean clothes and by limiting your basic hygiene, then he used light and visual stimuli to further push you off-balance. Quite frankly, I’m surprised you’re not in the fetal position drooling. You, Irelyn, have a strong fortitude of spirit and survival instinct.”

  Brody touched my hand again, stilling my abuse of the pillow. “What he did was terrible, but you survived. You’re here with us and safe. Zolt is here and he’s fine, too.”

  “Is he fine, because I’m not so sure. I think what happened with me just brought everything back to him.” My heart clenched at the thought I’d done something that had brought him pain.

  “Irelyn, Zolt is going to be okay. You both can get past this but not by denying it. My brother is a living example of what happens when you let your past reign over you. Either you deal with it or it deals with you.”

  “I did grief counseling after Chris’s death, and I’ll most likely need to do some more, given my earlier reaction. Keeping it together while I was there was essential. Now that I’m here, I’m finding it harder to do so.”

  “You can talk to me anytime, but try to talk to Zolt, as well. The two of you are in this together. You guys won’t survive as a couple if you don’t, Irelyn. You have to tell him what Marcus did so the both of you can come to terms with it.”

  Brody rose from his chair, leaned over and kissed my cheek. Then, he reached in his pocket and pulled out a prescription bottle. “Here’s your Ambien.”

  “Thanks, Brody.” I got off the bed and kissed his cheek. “Zolt’s lucky to have a brother like you. I’m lucky, too.”

  “My bill is in the mail,” he said as he walked out the door.

  “I’m sure it is,” I said, laughing a little.

  Deciding that Brody might have a point, I went into the bathroom, splashed water on my face and freshened up. Then, I went in search of Zolt.

  I found him in his office working on his laptop. He looked so serious behind his large, maple desk with his forehead crinkled in concentration. I almost hated to bug him, but I knocked on the open door anyway.

  Not waiting for his answer, I walked across the room and our gazes caught. Like that, we were pulled together by the intense connection we shared. I wondered if we would always be like this. I certainly hoped so.

  “Irelyn,” he drawled. The sound of his voice saying my name sent goosies erupting over my skin, and I rubbed my arms.

  “Zolt,” I returned as I sauntered toward him.

  At his chair, I turned it around to face me then climbed on his lap.

  “This is a surprise,” he said as I got comfortable. I linked my arms around his neck.

  “I’m sorry. You were right; I had no place getting upset at what you did. It’s just I can’t stand to think of you with anyone else, which is totally not fair since you thought I’d returned to Marcus. But still—”

  Before I could continue, Zolt’s mouth descended on mine in a possessive kiss. As he claimed me, I responded in turn, needing to be reminded I was his.

  “Irelyn,” he said, pulling back and panting. “I’ve missed you. You have no idea how much. And I’m sorry for being such a dick. I shouldn’t have reacted that way.”

  “We’re both under a lot of stress, and I’ll admit I’m not coping very well. I just talked to Brody, and he convinced me that I should tell you what happened. I’m ready to do that if you’re ready to hear it.”

  “Okay.” He kissed me sweetly on the lips. “If you’re sure you want to tell me.”

  I nodded. “Ready or not, I need to. Do you want to sit on the couch? It might be comfier.”

  “Sure.”

  I removed myself from his lap and went to the couch, making myself comfortable, putting one leg under the other.

  Zolt sat facing me, mirroring my legs.

  “So,” I started, my voice shaking. “After my dress fitting, I had planned to come back here. As you know, Marcus intercepted me. The things he said to me…” I stared down at my knotted hands. I needed to keep control and not fall apart, but I wasn’t sure I could. Removed from the situation, I could see just how crazy and frightening it had been. />
  Zolt put his large hand over my smaller hand. “What did he say?”

  I recounted everything Marcus said. How he’d arranged for Zolt to stay in Boston because he didn’t want him to come here and ruin what he had with me. I continued by telling him about how Dad had promised me to Marcus as some kind of payment for helping him out of a terrible situation.

  “What was the situation?”

  “No idea.” I shrugged one shoulder.

  Zolt squeezed his eyes closed. When he opened them, they were a darker blue. His hand tightened on my mine as his anger grew.

  “He murdered Chris.” My voice broke on my brother’s name. “Killed him in cold blood because Chris refused to let my father get away with giving me to Marcus.”

  Tears welled and broke free, and Zolt brushed them away.

  “Oh, baby, I’m so sorry.” Zolt pulled me to him, draping me across his chest. “He won’t go unpunished; I promise.”

  “He’s demented, Zolt. You have no idea. He scared the shit out of me, and when he threatened you and Kenna, I knew I had to go with him. He’d hurt you again if I didn’t.”

  “I know.” He stroked my hair in long, comforting strokes.

  “It was terrible. He tried his best to mind-fuck me, to break me. But I didn’t break. Even when he flogged me, I didn’t break.”

  Zolt’s squeezed me to him and kissed my hair.

  “I’m so sorry, Irelyn. You don’t have to tell me anymore.”

  “I need to tell you everything so this doesn’t hang between us.”

  “All right.”

  I told him the rest, and as I continued, Zolt shook and seethed with anger.

  When I finished, I sobbed into his chest as he held me, letting me cry.

  “I love you so much, Irelyn.”

  Through my tears and wet lashes, I glanced up at him. “I love you, too.”

  “I swear Marcus will never hurt you again. I’ll kill him first.”

  Zolt kissed me again, but his kiss wasn’t sexual; it was reassuring, expressing his love for me. I knew eventually I’d be okay, but more importantly, I knew we’d be okay, too.

  The next morning, I left before Irelyn woke up. I had some banking business to do, and I had arranged to meet Rachel at a jeweler; the same jeweler I knew Cory had bought an engagement ring he intended to give Rachel. Unfortunately, Kenna’s abduction kept him from asking her. Marcus’s interference jacked up all our lives, and I was getting sick of it.

  Which was why I’d decided to buy a ring. I hadn’t discussed my plans with Brody because it didn’t matter what he thought.

  Irelyn was it for me.

  I’d been with enough women to know that, and our short time apart drove that point home. When I’d ask, I didn’t know, but it would be soon. I wanted Irelyn to be my wife, and I hoped she wanted the same thing.

  When I arrived at Kavanagh’s Jewelers, Rachel waited at the door for me. She looked nice in a red dress that reminded me of something Irelyn might wear. I had to wonder if they picked it out together. The only turn-off was the cigarette hanging from her mouth.

  I frowned, not so much at her, but at the situation. Irelyn mentioned Rachel had tried to quit, and most likely, the stress of the situation had ended her attempts.

  Rachel frowned back at me as she stubbed out her cigarette.

  “I know, I know. I had it under control before Kenna.”

  “No judgment here.” I held up my hands. “The need for vices during times of stress is not foreign to me.”

  “It sucks, too. I thought I had conquered the nasty habit. Fucking Marcus.” She dug in her purse, found some gum, and popped it in her mouth.

  “Fucking Marcus, indeed.”

  I pushed the doorbell and waited for someone to let us in. Kavanagh’s Jewelers didn’t sell to the general public; you had to make an appointment and show proof you had the funds available. The Wilkes, Campbells, and Strausses were old customers, and getting an impromptu appointment hadn’t been hard.

  “So,” Rachel said as we walked in. “You’re sure you’re ready to buy Irelyn a ring?”

  “Yes.” By the tone of her voice, I could tell she thought it was too fast, and I hadn’t earned the right to marry her best friend.

  Maybe she was right.

  “You’re thinking it’s too soon,” I said, reiterating my thoughts out loud. “It might seem that way, but Irelyn is it for me. For six years, I’ve searched for her in the face of every blonde I met, even though I didn’t think she was real.”

  “It’s been the same way for Irelyn,” Rachel admitted, pushing her dark-blonde hair behind her ear. “Marcus shouldn’t have happened.”

  Before I could voice my agreement, a short man with thick black hair approached us with a wide smile on his mustached lips.

  “Mr. Hamil, Ms. Strauss.” Jonathon Kavanagh held out his hand, and I shook it.

  “Please, call me Zolt.”

  “Zolt. I remember you during your playing days. A nasty business that hit.”

  I nodded but didn’t say anything. What could I say? I lived with the aftereffects on a daily basis. The pain in my leg flared as if to make a silent point.

  “So, Mr. Kavanagh,” Rachel said, filling in the awkward silence. “Zolt is here to find an engagement ring for Irelyn Wilkes.”

  “Ms. Wilkes?” Jonathon arched a brow and gave me a confused expression. The entire town thought she and Marcus were together. “But I thought—”

  “She’s not with him anymore.” Rachel growled the word him, and I smiled at her.

  “I see. This is a fortuitous day indeed. I just received a ring that, when I saw it, made me think of her mother, the beautiful Emmeline Wilkes. I think this ring will be perfect for Irelyn. If you’ll excuse me a moment.”

  Jonathon disappeared behind a door, leaving Rachel and me alone.

  “Thanks for cutting off his train of thought. I appreciate it.” I gave Rachel an appreciative smile.

  She squeezed my hand. “No problem. I can’t wait to see this ring. Funny that he thought about Emme when he saw it.”

  “What was funny was the look on his face when you said Irelyn’s name. I bet Marcus had been in here buying her a ring.”

  This time I growled. Just the thought of her wearing his ring made me want to hit something.

  “Yeah, well, that’s not going to happen.”

  Jonathon returned and settled himself at the counter. He set a black velvet tray on the glass. Nestled within the black velvet was the most beautiful ring I’d ever seen.

  Rachel gasped, covered her mouth with her hand and bounced a little in her chair. She glanced at me and nodded enthusiastically, her eyes sparkling with tears.

  “The center diamond is a two-carat, round, brilliant stone, surrounded by sugarloaf-cut emeralds. The band is an intricate Celtic knotwork design in fourteen-carat, yellow gold. I can contact the jeweler who designed it and have him do matching wedding bands for you both.” He pulled the ring from the black velvet and handed it to me.

  The ring was perfect: Irelyn through and through… I could envision it on her hand in perfect detail.

  “She has a cross that’s very similar to this. Both she and Chris had them. She took it off after…” Rachel paused and frowned slightly.

  “Will it be too much for her? Remind her of Chris?” The last thing I wanted was for the ring I gave her to make her sad.

  “I don’t think so. She’ll love it, I’m sure. This ring is Irelyn.”

  “I agree.”

  “According to our files, it happens to be her size,” Jonathon said as I handed him the ring.

  “That settles it. I’ll take it.”

  Holy shit! I’m buying an engagement ring.

  I glanced over at Rachel, and she must have seen the apprehension in my eyes.

  “Bet you never thought you’d do this, did you?”

  “No, I didn’t. But this is the right ring; I can feel it. It’s fate.”

  “Just like the two of you
,” Rachel agreed.

  I smiled at her. “Yeah, like the two of us.”

  That night, I sat on the bed holding the ring box and staring at the diamond. I didn’t know shit about diamonds—or jewelry for that matter—but this ring was perfect. I couldn’t wait to give it to her, but I needed to—needed to make sure we were back on track.

  A knock on the door made me jump. I snapped the box closed and threw it in the bedside table’s drawer, abruptly shutting it.

  “Zolt? Can I come in?” Irelyn’s voice called from behind the door.

  Shit! I thought. That was close.

  “Sure, baby, come in.”

  Irelyn opened the door and came in. She closed the door behind her but didn’t move toward me. Leaning against the door, she stared at me with her bottom lip firmly between her teeth as if she was apprehensive about something.

  My mouth dropped open. The black-lace short set she wore was see-through, and the lace top showed off her gorgeous tits. Through her lace shorts, I could see her sweet pussy.

  I licked my lips, my cock jumping to attention. Fuck me! Was Irelyn trying to kill me?

  Though it had been little more than a week since we’d been together, it felt more like an eternity. Too much shit had gone down in such a short time, and we were both different people.

  “Irelyn, please tell me Brody didn’t see you in that,” I said, my eyes hungrily taking in her body.

  “No, Zolt. This is for your eyes only.” She pulled on the bottom of her top. It stretched against her tits, and her pink nipples peeked through…

  I nodded and watched her walk toward the bed, her hips swaying provocatively. I noticed she had two bottles in her hands. She set one bottle on the bedside table, then handed me the other. I recognized the medicine bottle as her Ambien and my heart started racing. That she’d come in here dressed like that with her sleep medication in hand meant only one thing.

  Irelyn was ready to come back to my bed.

  “I need help,” she said as she climbed on the bed.

  In her lace, with her blonde waves loose, she looked beyond beautiful on my black, silk sheets.