by J. D. Rivera
I could tell he was let down by his forced smile. “I’m sorry. I really like you as a person, but I just got out of a relationship, and I have some, um, personal things going on right now. Friendship is all I have to offer.” I hoped he would see that I was telling him the truth.
“If friendship is all you can offer, then friendship it is. How about Friday? We can go to a movie.”
“That sounds great.”
He walked me down the hallway, through the double doors that led outside. When we got outside, he turned toward me and pulled out his cell phone. “Can I get your phone number? That way we can work out some details for Friday?”
“Oh, sure.” I told him my number.
He plugged it into his phone, and my phone pinged, letting me know that I had a text. I pulled my phone out of my pocket and looked at the screen.
Ben: Looking forward to Friday night.
I looked up at his handsome, smiling face. “Me too.”
After parting ways with Ben, I walked around campus, heading for Jen’s apartment. I looked up to see Cooper running towards me and stopped in my tracks. He loves to run, for stress relief and exercise.
He was wearing athletic shorts and nothing else. I could see the cursive “E” tattoo he has on his left triceps and the other one on his chest. Damn, he is gorgeous. I couldn’t believe I’d gotten to touch that body for so many years, but now anyone could, and that thought made me sick.
I pushed the thought away and focused on the fact that he was running toward me with a grin on his face.
He slowed down to a jog and then to a walk, stopping right in front of me, catching his breath. “Haven’t seen you in a while. How are you feeling?”
“I’m feeling okay. I’m getting back some of my energy, and I’m not nauseous anymore. In fact, I’m starting to crave different foods.” I answered back. “I haven’t been for a run in a while. I guess you’ve been keeping up your same schedule.” Our gazes met.
“Yeah, I guess. I think the best when I run.”
I could get lost looking into his eyes.
I finally broke the stare and cleared my throat, “Um, do you mind if I go change and maybe run with you? I’m supposed to exercise while I’m pregnant.”
He broke out into a huge smile. “I’d love for you to run with me.”
We turned and walked toward Jen’s apartment.
“I had a doctor appointment today.” I grabbed the ultrasound pictures out of my purse.
“That’s great. Everything okay?”
“Yep, everything was great. I got to hear the baby’s heartbeat and see the baby. It was incredible!” I handed him the pictures.
He took the pictures from me and stopped for a minute and just stared, obviously amazed. Eventually, he started walking again, still looking at the pictures.
“Wow. I bet that was wonderful!” He smiled at me, but I could tell by his face he was trying to hide some sadness.
“I didn’t invite you because I didn’t think anything like that would happen. Apparently, they check the heartbeat at every appointment, and right now an ultrasound is the only way to hear it because I’m not very far along—”
He doesn’t let me finish before asking, “Can I go to the other appointments?”
“If you would like to come, yes. And you can keep one of those pictures, although I can’t tell what part of them is the baby. It all just looks like a blob to me.”
“You know I would love to come to anything that has to do with you or our baby. I love our baby.”
I finally looked up at our surroundings and noticed we had made it to the apartment. I wasn’t really feeling up to running anymore after walking. “Look, I’m kind of tired already. I hear I’ll get my full energy back the next trimester. Sorry for making you walk all the way over here, but I think I’m going to call off the run.” I said while unlocking the door.
He turned me around to face him. “Don’t be sorry. I loved getting to spend time with you. If walking you home means I get to spend time with you; I’ll take it.” Then he kissed my lips and left a trail of tiny kisses all the way to my ear, which he bit, making me close my eyes. He whispered, “Bye.”
I could feel him looking at me, but I couldn’t open my eyes.
I finally opened my eyes to see him walking away.
It took me a while to recover from Cooper’s kisses. I finally turned around to enter the apartment and checked the clock on the wall above the couch; it was four o’clock. I was getting a little hungry, and Mexican food sounded really good. There would be a Thunder game on that night, and chips and dip would be great to eat while watching the game.
I drove over to a local Mexican food place that had amazing food. Cooper and I went there all the time, as did every other college student. It is always packed. I walked up to the counter, placed my to-go order of chicken quesadillas, and waited. I was watching a commercial on the TV mounted on the wall when I felt an arm drape around my neck.
“I should have known I’d run into you here. This is turning out to be my lucky day.” Cooper’s smile was so infectious, I couldn’t help but smile too.
His smile was also breathtaking. He could’ve probably gotten any girl he wanted with just that smile alone. It had always baffled me why he chose me.
“I guess I should have guessed the same about you,” I said back while turning toward him and effectively removing his arm. He put his hands on the counter, and we just stared at each other for a few moments.
“Have you placed your order yet? If you haven’t, we could share an order of chips and dip and take it back to our apartment to watch the game. No pressure. We could just hang out.”
I knew that I probably shouldn’t go to his apartment and ‘hang out’, since all I had been trying to do the last few weeks was create space between us. Even with all that going through my head, I blurted, “Okay but I still want an order of my own. I’m extra hungry tonight, and I want the leftovers for tomorrow.”
The smile that broke out on his face was dazzling. It was one of the biggest smiles I’d seen on Cooper in a long time and I knew I had just made a mistake.
We got our orders and headed to his apartment. He parked first, and when I pulled up at the apartment complex, he jumped out of his SUV and was at my door within seconds. He opened my door and grabbed my hand to help me out of the car.
I laughed. “I’m not that pregnant yet. Give me a few months before my belly gets in the way and I’m too tired to do anything.”
“I’ll help you then, too. My plan is to help you through this entire pregnancy and afterwards.” He took the takeout bag out of my hands, and we made our way up the sidewalk to the door in complete silence. I hoped we could get past the awkwardness and have fun.
He opened the door and waved for me to go in first. I entered the apartment, and everything was the same. I wasn’t sure if he had moved anything, not even the mail.
I went into the kitchen and stopped, staring at the refrigerator. In the middle of all the pictures of us that I’d put there was the ultrasound picture I had given him earlier. He was that excited about our baby. It made me happy.
He set the bags down and turned to me. “Would you mind getting the plates? I’m going to make us something to drink.” He went to the refrigerator and opened the freezer drawer.
He was going to make my favorite drink: frozen lemonade from concentrate.
“Sure.” I grabbed two plates from the cabinet and returned to the takeout bags on the counter. I put his order of enchiladas on one plate and my quesadillas on the other. I took the plates along with the two orders of chips and queso that were still in the bag, into the living room and placed them on the coffee table.
A short while later, he came out with a beer in one hand and a lemonade in the other. He held the lemonade out for me to take. “Here you go. I figured this is what you would want. Maybe I should have asked?”
I took the glass and beer out of his hand and placed them on the table while he set
down on the couch.
“Of course this is what I would want, but you didn’t need to make anything special for me. Water is just fine.”
His chip, loaded with queso, stopped before making it to his mouth, and he placed it back down on his plate. “Of course I needed to make you something special. You are special. And if that wasn’t enough, you are making my child. I think I can make you some lemonade.”
Oh my gosh. That was why I loved him so much. He always thought of me first. Well, except for when he wants to get high. He really was amazing, though, and he would make some girl very happy one day. I just wasn’t that girl. I couldn’t put up with the pot.
I tried not to think about him making some other girl happy one day. It made me want to start crying, and tears were starting to form in my eyes.
“Hey, are you okay? Did I say something wrong?” Cooper brushed his thumb across my cheek to remove the tear that had slipped out, and for some reason, that made me want to cry more.
“No! You didn’t say anything wrong. You always say the sweetest things; that’s all. These pregnancy hormones make me cry about everything. Sorry. This isn’t a fun time, watching me cry like a crazy person. Let’s change the subject.” I rubbed my cheeks and forced myself to stop crying.
Cooper watched me sadly. “Okay. How are your classes? Are you ready for finals?”
I was so relieved that he easily changed the subject.
We talked a lot during the game, about our classes, favorite TV shows, my brother Chris and our other friends. Cooper made fun of different people and told me stories about some of our idiot friends. I’d really missed his sense of humor. He could make anyone laugh during the most awful situations. The evening was going by without a hitch.
By half time, I was yawning like crazy. I decided to just lay my head down on the arm of the couch. I probably should’ve gone home, but I really didn’t want to.
I still stood behind my decision to end the relationship, but I loved being around him. I knew I was probably playing with fire, but I’d always been the type that had to get burned before I learned.
I was so comfortable, I didn’t want to wake up. Jen’s spare bed felt so much more comfortable than it did yesterday.
I started hearing a popping noise, but I couldn’t place it. Did I also smell bacon?
I opened my eyes, only to realize I wasn’t in Jen’s spare bed. I was on Cooper’s couch. I should’ve known; it was so comfortable, I used to fall asleep on it all the time.
I got up, and the comforter slid off. I looked behind me to see Cooper working hard on making breakfast in the kitchen. I had to admit I loved every second of spending time with him the previous night.
I picked up the comforter and took it back to the bedroom, which was exactly the way I had left it. The picture of us was still on my nightstand and the ‘Always Kiss Me Goodnight’ plaque was still hung above the bed.
The only difference was my pillow, which lay vertical in the middle of the bed. Maybe it was hard for him to sleep without me, like the way it was hard for me to sleep without him? The long pregnancy body pillow he bought me would help when I got farther along, but for now, I used the pillow as a pretend Cooper. Yep, I was pathetic.
I made my way back out into the kitchen.
He looked over at me with a smile. “Good morning. I didn’t see you get up.”
I met his stare. “I just woke up and put the comforter back on the bed. Thanks for not waking me up. The couch is so comfortable. I needed that.”
The urge to pee suddenly hit me. I always needed to pee these days, but mornings were the worst. “Um, I’m going to go to the bathroom real quick.” I shrugged. “Pregnancy bladder.”
“Okay. Breakfast should be ready when you’re done.” He winked at me—I love when he does that—and turned around to do something at the other counter.
I ran to the restroom. When I was finished, I noticed a small amount of blood on the toilet paper. My pregnancy book I had been reading warned me that could happen. I decided I wouldn’t worry about it, and I’d see if it was any worse when I was home.
I came back out into the dining area where he had set up the dining table. He had cooked a feast. Biscuits and gravy, sausage, bacon, and pancakes. I looked up at him. “Where are the eggs? You love eggs!”
He shrugged. “The smell made you sick, earlier. I didn’t want to take any chances.”
“That’s really sweet of you.” I sat down.
We both started putting food on our plates and eating. We were too wrapped up in enjoying the food to chat.
Finally, I broke the silence with, “This is really delicious. Thank you so much.”
He smiled weakly. “You’re welcome. I love doing things for you.” He seemed scared he might cross a line and send me running at any second. “So… I have an idea. I hope you won’t freak out or anything—it’s just an idea.”
“Okay, what is it?” I asked as I popped a piece of sausage in my mouth.
“I had a lot of fun just being with you last night. I’ll just say, it’s not what I really want, and you know that, but I’ll take what I can get, right now. Anyway, I was thinking that maybe every Friday night we could rent a movie, make some popcorn, and just hang out together,” he said cautiously.
I stopped chewing, looked at him, and thought his idea over. I knew I had been trying to put distance between us but the night before had been really fun. Plus, once the baby got here, I was going to have to hang out with him sometimes.
I finally replied, “I would like that, but I have plans tonight. We could start this little movie night next Friday, though.”
“That sounds perfect. By the way, the Thunder won last night.”
“I can’t believe I fell asleep. Wait, yes I can. I’ve been doing that a lot lately.”
He laughed. “Don’t blame your sleepiness on the pregnancy. You can’t fool me. Every time you sit on that couch, you pass out.” He took his last bite.
I finished the food on my plate and helped him clean up the kitchen mess and then decided it was time to go. I stepped toward the door. “Hey, I need to take off. I have some studying to do, and then I have to shower and change for tonight.”
He walked me to the door and cocked an eyebrow at me. “Oh? Hot date?”
It wasn’t a date, but Ben had wanted it to be a date. I was silent while I tried to figure out what to say, and Cooper grabbed my hand.
“You’re really going on a date? I thought we had something special. How could you move on so quickly?” he whispered.
I didn’t remove his hand. He was hurting and my delayed response had given him the wrong idea. “It’s not a date,” I said, looking into his saddened eyes. “I’m just going to a movie with a guy from one of my classes. He wants it to be a date, but I let him know it couldn’t be one. I’m not over you.”
“I know you’re probably going to get mad at me for this.” He pressed me into the door, closing all of the space between us, and leaned his head down. His lips were a mere inch from mine. “But I can’t let you forget about us when you’re about to go out with another man.”
He softly pressed his lips against mine.
I didn’t resist. In fact, I kissed him back. I’d been dreaming about kissing him again, and I wanted to so badly, though I knew I should pull away and leave.
After I kissed him back, his kisses became harder, rougher, and his tongue found its way into my mouth. He snaked his arm around my waist and down my butt. He pulled me up, and I had to wrap my legs around him.
I had no idea how long we had been kissing before I remembered we shouldn’t have been doing it. I didn’t want to lead him on; we had just talked about being friends not even an hour before. I finally put my hands on his shoulders and pushed back. His gaze bored into mine, and we were both breathing heavily.
I finally broke the silence. “You don’t have to worry about me forgetting about us. We just… We can’t do that again. I don’t want to lead you on.”
; He lowered me to the ground. “You aren’t leading me on. I’m sorry. Can we still try the friends thing?” he asked hopefully.
“Of course we can still be friends. I’ll see you next Friday.” I opened the door and rushed out of his apartment.
I ran to my car and climbed inside. I tried to calm my breathing but couldn’t. All I wanted was to go back into his apartment and finish kissing him. That might have been the best kiss he had ever given me. Maybe it was due to the fact that it had been weeks since I had been kissed, but that was an amazing kiss.
Since going back into his apartment wasn’t an option, I started my car and headed to Jen’s apartment. When I walked in, she was sitting on the couch, watching some reality TV show. I placed myself next to her on the couch.
“Where have you been? I know you didn’t come home last night.” She had an all-knowing smile on her face.
“I went over to Cooper’s and watched the game. I wound up falling asleep on his couch.”
“Your couch,” she corrected.
“No, it’s not. He owned the couch before I moved in. I don’t live there anymore, so it’s not my couch.”
She started laughing a little. “Well, if you went over there to watch the game with him, does this mean you’re thinking about taking him back?”
“No. It means that we have decided to start hanging out as friends. We have a baby to raise together, so we need to get along.” I focused on the show she was watching.
“Hmm. You know I love you, right?” she asked.
I looked back at her. “Yep. So what is it that you want to tell me?”
“You haven’t asked for my opinion, and I haven’t given you one. Until now,” she stated. “I think you need to work this out with him, and I’m not talking friendship. He made a mistake. Everyone messes up sometimes. He also made that mistake before he knew you were pregnant. Becoming a parent changes people; most people, it matures almost instantly. Why not see if he has matured?”
