by J. D. Rivera
I wasn’t sure what to say. I wanted to take him back, but I couldn’t trust that he wouldn’t mess up again, before or after the baby came. If that happened, he wouldn’t just be hurting me. He’d be hurting the baby too. I didn’t want that for my baby.
Cooper’s mom left her family when he was only five years old. She got tired of being a mom and left Cooper’s dad for some guy in a rock band. The rock band never took off, and nobody knew what had happened to her.
Maybe that is what scares me the most? I can’t trust that he doesn’t have part of his moms partying ways in him? That sounded crazy, especially since she was the reason Cooper would never cheat on me. He saw the pain his mom caused his dad, and he would never want to cause that type of pain on anyone.
I realized I was still staring at Jen, and she was staring right back, waiting for me to answer. My thoughts were too jumbled to respond.
I finally stood up. “I will keep that in mind. Thanks.” I went to the spare bedroom I’d been staying in and closed the door behind me.
I spent the next thirty minutes taking the hottest shower on record. I needed to get Cooper and his amazing kiss out of my head. I couldn’t let it happen again. I wanted us to be friends while raising our baby together, not making out every time we were around each other.
I hopped out of the shower and started getting dressed. I had every piece of my wardrobe there, thanks to Chris, who had picked all of it up for me a few days after I moved out, but I still couldn’t find anything to wear. I wasn’t starting to show yet, so that wasn’t the problem. My problem was that I wanted to dress up and not look like a slob for a while, but I also didn’t want to give Ben the wrong impression, because I was still only looking for a friend.
After what seemed like forever, I decided on some jeans with a dressy black top and some Toms black wedge heels. I chose to put my hair in a loose ponytail, with a few strands loose in the front. After pairing all of that with some big black chandelier earrings, I was pretty sure I didn’t look hot, but I thought I looked cute. Cute was good.
I got into my car and drove to the theater where I had agreed to meet Ben. We had decided to meet early and grab some dinner at the diner located inside. I parked in the crowded parking lot and checked my phone.
He had texted me.
Ben: Inside the diner.
Good. He arrived first. I hate waiting on people. It’s not that I’m always in a rush; it’s that I’ve always hated standing by myself looking as though I had no friends. I know that sounds pathetic, but that is just the way I am.
I walked in and spotted Ben by the entrance. He was letting his shaggy blond hair look as if he just had major sex. It looked really good on him. Really good.
“Hey, have you been here long?” I asked as I approached.
“Only about five minutes.” Looking me up and down, he added, “You look amazing. I mean you always look good, but tonight you’re glowing.”
My cheeks heated. My first thought was Oh crap. He can tell I’m pregnant, but then I realized how he was looking at me and the way he said it; he had no clue. I should probably change that tonight.
I looked into his eyes and pushed a strand of loose hair behind my ear. “Thanks. Look, there is something I need to tell you.” I needed to get this over with.
His forehead creased. “What would that be?”
We walked over to a table and sat down. My nerves were jumping like crazy. I didn’t know why. I’d already told him we could only be friends.
I picked up the napkin and started fidgeting with it. I cleared my throat and told him, “The reason I told you that I am only looking for friendship is because I’m, um. I’m pregnant.” I looked up at him.
His eyes had widened a little, but he didn’t look as shocked as I thought he would be. “But you’re single right? You told me you just got out of a relationship.”
“I’m single. We didn’t break up over the baby, if that’s what you are thinking. He is still going to be actively involved in my pregnancy and the baby’s life. We broke up over…other things.”
He smiled a little, “I’m glad it was something else. Otherwise, I might have to beat his ass.”
I laughed a little, because there was no way he could kick Cooper’s ass. “You’re really funny, Ben. I’m glad to have that out of the way.”
We chatted easily while eating our food. It turned out we have the same major, education. It was weird that we had never noticed each other in classes before now. Especially since he was extremely attractive, with his shaggy blond hair, green eyes, and great body. If I hadn’t been completely in love with Cooper, I would have had a major crush on Ben.
We finally finished our food and walked toward the theater, where we were seeing some action film, which I had picked since I wasn’t in the mood to see a romance movie or even a comedy.
After the movie, which was good, he walked me to my car. As I was getting ready to open the door, he took my arm, twirling me around.
“I had a really great time tonight. A really great time. I’m glad you told me you’re pregnant, but that doesn’t really change anything for me. I’m still really attracted to you and would like to give this a chance.” He swallowed hard and continued, “I know you probably still feel something for your ex, but I would like to see where this thing can go between us.”
He leaned down and gave me a sweet, gentle kiss on my lips and added, “Don’t say anything right now. Just think about it. I’ll call or text you in the morning.”
I wasn’t really stunned, but I hadn’t expected him to say all that. I looked up into his sweet eyes. All I could choke out was, “Okay.”
I got in my car and drove around, as I tend to do when I have a lot to think about. Maybe I should try dating him and see where it goes between us. After what had happened that morning, I knew it was going to be hard to be friends with Cooper. I also wanted to know if I could develop feelings for someone besides Cooper. I didn’t want to look at it as using Ben, because that sounded wrong, but I really liked the idea of trying to date him.
Ben might think that he’s okay with me being pregnant right now because I don’t look pregnant. Once I started getting big, he would realize I had another man’s baby growing inside of me and that he wasn’t that attracted to me. When I looked at it like that, knowing that I would eventually get dumped, it didn’t sound so bad to use Ben to get over Cooper.
I pulled up to Jen’s place, which was completely dark. I didn’t think she was home. Probably out finding some loser. I went into “my” bedroom and lay down on the bed. I started to drift off when I was woken by the sound of an incoming text message.
I checked my phone.
Jen: I won’t be coming home tonight
She must have found her a really hot loser. Normally, she always made sure she came home. I’d always respected that about her. She had never slept over at any guy’s house. I could only hope that maybe she had found a nice guy.
Since I was awake, I decided to let Ben know that I had decided to give dating him a chance. I texted him.
Me: Thought about what you said and I’d like to try.
Ben must’ve still been up, because he promptly responded.
Ben: Wonderful. I’m looking forward to it.
The next morning, I woke up to the sound of my brother’s voice floating through the apartment. I guessed Jen had come home early and let him in. I pushed the covers back and noticed I was still dressed in the clothes I had on last night. I must have been really tired. My brother would have to wait; I needed to take a shower and put on some fresh clothes.
About fifteen minutes later, I was dressed, starving, and entering the living room. I noticed that Jen and Chris were laughing about something. “What are you two laughing about this early in the morning?”
They simultaneously looked up, expressions shocked. Well, that was weird.
“Nothing,” they said in unison.
“Okay. I won’t ask any more questions.” I made my way t
o the kitchen and asked my brother, “Why are you here so early?” I pulled a box of cereal out of the cabinet.
“I came to see if you wanted to have breakfast with me.” He grabbed the cereal box from my hands.
I tried to get it back. “Hey, I wanted to eat some of that! I’m starving!”
He put the cereal away. “I want to take you out for breakfast. You don’t need this.”
I could have eaten the cereal and the breakfast at the restaurant, too. “Okay. You’re paying, though.” I looked over at Jen, “Bye, I’ll see you in a couple of hours.”
I went to wait for him by the door. I didn’t care what I looked like; I just wanted food.
Chris and I drove to IHOP in silence, listening to the radio. A Kenny Chesney song was playing, so I turned up the volume. My brother knew not to talk to me when my favorite artist was playing.
We arrived at the restaurant. I still had no clue why Chris wanted to have breakfast with me.
After being seated and placing our orders, I looked up at him. He was staring at me. What the hell was this about? “What do you want to talk about? You never just show up and take me to breakfast without Cooper.”
He cleared his throat. “Have you told Mom and Dad your news yet?”
“No. Not yet. I figured I needed to plan things out first. They will have a lot of questions, and I want to be able to answer them.”
“I didn’t think you had, since they didn’t mention anything to me when they called.” He raised an eyebrow. “Have you made any plans yet?”
“Not really. My next move is to figure out where I will be living over the summer. I need to take a summer class if I want to graduate next year.”
“Why can’t you stay with Jen, or I don’t know. Take Cooper back and raise the baby as a family?” He sipped his orange juice.
“I can’t. I’m kind of dating someone else.”
Orange juice spewed everywhere, and Chris started choking. After collecting himself, he asked, “You’re kidding, right? I thought you actually loved Cooper. I guess you had everyone fooled, if you can just move on like this.”
“I haven’t moved on. I’m just trying to move on. I am not taking him back.” I took a drink and waited for him to lecture me. He didn’t, to my surprise.
We sat in awkward silence until the food came.
Finally, after what seemed like forever, he said, “Tell them Saturday. My graduation will keep them from acting too crazy.”
“No. That’s your day.” He really was the best brother to have.
“It’s okay. I think doing it in person is better, and I don’t want you telling them when you are already showing. They deserve to know, now. I really don’t mind.”
“Okay. Thanks, Chris.”
Our food arrived. I’d ordered an appetizer of onion rings, chicken strips, and mozzarella sticks along with my meal of sausage, bacon, and eggs with strawberry stuffed French toast.
Chris looked at my food, then me, then back to the food, finally resting on my face. His eyes were huge. “Um, Sis, are you really going to eat all of that?”
“No. I hate eggs. You can have them if you want.” I said, straight-faced. I knew I’d ordered a huge meal, but damn it, I was hungry.
“That’s okay. I ordered my own.” He forked a piece of sausage and egg from his own plate.
After we finished eating, we rode back to Jen’s apartment, listening to an alternative rock station. Chris was belting out the lyrics, trying to make me laugh. He never normally acts like that, so I knew it was for my benefit.
After we arrived at the apartment. I asked him to come inside so I could show him the ultrasound picture.
We walked in, and I needed to pee. “Be right back. I have to pee. Sorry.” I ran to the bathroom.
After peeing, I noticed blood on the paper. It wasn’t a ton, but it was definitely more than before and enough to scare me.
I finished up and returned to the living room, “Hey Chris, could you drive me over to labor and delivery. I’m, um, bleeding.”
His eyes widened, and he jumped up off the couch. “Sure. Come on.”
We got in his car, and he sped to the hospital even though I asked him not to. Even though I was going crazy worrying, I knew if I was having a miscarriage, speeding to the hospital wouldn’t prevent it.
When we arrived at the check-in counter, he pulled out his phone.
“Who are you calling?” I asked.
“Cooper,” he said in a tone that suggested I should have known.
“No! I mean, please don’t. We don’t know what’s going on, and I’d rather wait until we know something.”
“Really, Emily?” he practically yelled. “You don’t want me to call Cooper?”
“No. There is no need to worry him when we don’t know what’s going on.”
“Fine.” He huffed and placed his phone in his pocket.
A nurse took me to a small room and hooked me up to various machines. She was immediately able to find the baby’s heartbeat. She said it was a little high, but that was probably because I was worried.
A doctor came in and did a vaginal exam, then let me know that everything seemed okay. I peed in a cup and waited for the test results. I was glad they let Chris come into the room and wait with me.
Thirty minutes later, the nurse came back in and gave me the diagnosis of a urinary tract infection.
I checked out and told Chris. “See? No big deal, no need to worry Cooper over a urinary tract infection.”
“Fine. Let’s get you out of here and go get your meds.”
He drove me to the pharmacy and back home. He promised he wouldn’t mention it to Cooper, since it wasn’t a big deal. Even so, I was grateful he’d stayed by my side and I wasn’t alone.
I was leaving from my one final on Monday when my phone buzzed with a text message. I grabbed it out of my purse and checked it.
Ben: If you aren’t busy with finals, do you want to come hang out and swim?
It sounded like fun. I probably should get to know him a little better. Relaxing by the pool did sound nice. I texted back.
Me: Sure. Let me run home and change.
I walked home and changed into a bikini, putting shorts and a tank top over it. I grabbed my car keys and was soon out of my apartment quickly and driving to his house. I rolled the windows down and cranked the radio up. I was going to be carefree and enjoy the beautiful day.
I arrived at the address he gave me and was shocked that three college guys lived in such a nice family neighborhood. Most college students lived in apartments or houses near campus.
I walked up to the door and rang the doorbell.
Ben opened the door a short time later. “Hey, you found the place. You look really nice.”
“Thanks.” I stepped in and turned around to face him, “I wasn’t expecting you to live in a neighborhood like this. Why don’t you live by campus?”
“Oh, this isn’t my place. It’s a buddy’s. He’s out of town and said I could use his pool.”
“That explains it.”
“So, do you want to go out to the pool? I’ll get us some drinks.”
“Sure.” I walked through the living space and stepped out the patio doors into a gorgeous backyard with a tropical feel.
The pool was amazing, complete with a waterfall. Several lounge chairs were lined up around the pool, and I picked one in the shade to sit on.
I was applying sunscreen when Ben came outside carrying two glasses of iced tea. “Thank you. Please tell me this is sweet tea.”
“Yeah, it is. Unsweetened is nasty.” He placed his drink on one of the tables. “Here, let me help you with your back.”
“Oh, thanks.” I said handing him the bottle of sunscreen.
He sat down behind me and started applying the lotion to my shoulders first in what could’ve been described as an amazing massage. Then he worked his way down my back. He went below the string of my bikini and made sure he applied the sunscreen to every inch of my
back until he was at the top of my bikini bottom. He then worked his way back up.
Just as he was about to untie my top, I rose up from the chair. This was getting way uncomfortable for me. “I think that’s good. I’m getting hot, so I’m going to get in the water now.” I hurried to the steps of the pool.
The water felt nice. Since it was only May, I assumed the water was heated. Ben took off his shirt, which only left him wearing his swim trunks. Oh. My. Word. His chest was amazingly sculpted. It reminded me of Cooper’s, but it was different.
“Do you like the view?” he asked while stepping into the pool. Crap, he had caught me staring.
“Um. I guess I do. Do you surf? You look like you would surf.”
“Yeah, all my life. I’m from southern California.”
“Oh, wow. Why are you here, in the middle of nowhere?”
“Just wanted a change of scenery, and my brother came here, so my parents kind of forced me to come here if I wasn’t going to stay back home.”
“Oh. Why did your brother come here?”
“For a girl, but they broke up not long after school started their freshman year.”
“That had to suck.” I blurted without thinking.
“I guess.” He went under the water.
What was he doing?
All of a sudden, he came out of the water, holding me by my legs. He lifted me high out of the water and held me, staring at me. “You’re a beautiful girl, Emily.”
“Thanks. Can you put me down now? I feel like I’m going to fall any second.”
He gently put me down, his gaze skimming my body the entire time. I was beginning to think that coming might not have been such a good idea, after all. I wanted to take things extra slow with him, and the way he was looking at me, I didn’t think he wanted that at all. I pulled away and swam to a floating chair and climbed on.
We wound up talking and hanging out in the pool for a while longer. Just easy conversation.
After a while, I decided I was thirsty, so I climbed out of the pool and walked to a lounge chair. I was lounging in one of the chairs with my eyes closed, trying to relax, when he asked, “What is the ‘C’ tattoo on your hip about?
