Consume

by Jessica Prince

  “Oh, it’s not just you, sweetheart,” Tate breathed, her heart in her eyes as she watched Declan croon the lyrics. She looked like she was about to spontaneously combust or orgasm at any moment.

  “They’re amazing,” I called out. “I could work for them for decades and I’d never get tired of watching this.”

  Gwen shifted on her feet, placing her hand on the tiny swell of her belly. “I swear to God, this baby’s sucking up all the fluids in my body. I’m thirsty all the damn time.”

  I spun to face her and asked, “You need a bottle of water?”

  “Oh no! I don’t want to put you out. Just because you do that kinda stuff for the guys doesn’t mean you need to start doing it for us.”

  “I don’t mind. It’s just a bottle of water, Gwen. It’ll take like two seconds.” She looked hopeful and guilty all at the same time. “Oh my god. You’re ridiculous,” I laughed with a roll of my eyes. “I’m getting it. Be right back.”

  “Hurry up!” Tate shouted as her man sang just for her. “You’ll miss the best song!”

  I moved from backstage to the hall leading to the guys’ dressing rooms. I knew Killian’s room had a mini fridge that had been stocked with all kinds of stuff, so I headed in there to grab one. I’d just slammed the fridge closed and spun to head out when the door to the private bathroom swung open and Seductive Snow White came waltzing out.

  “What the fuck?”

  Her big blue eyes came to me, wide with surprise. “Oh. Uh… I’m sorry. I didn’t know anyone would be in here.”

  I was too shocked by the sight of her to take in a single word she’d said. “What. The. Fuck?”

  “I was just….” She looked around like a deer caught in the headlights. “I was waiting on Kill. I’m an old friend.”

  Did this bitch really just say that?

  “I know exactly who you are,” I snapped. “And I know for a freaking fact that you’re no friend of Killian’s. You’ve got no business being in here. Get the hell out.”

  She actually had the nerve to slap her hands on her hips and scowl like I’d just crossed a line. “Excuse me? Who the hell do you think you are? You have no right to speak to me like that.”

  “Oh, I have every right,” I hissed, gnashing my teeth like a rabid animal about to rip her face off, “seeing as you’ve snuck your way into my boyfriend’s dressing room to catch him off guard because you know he doesn’t want a damn thing to do with you.”

  “Your what?”

  “Look, I’ve already told you once to get the hell out. Don’t make me repeat myself. You won’t like what’ll happen if I do.”

  “Hey, G. What took so long? You missed the end of the sho—” Gwen and Tate came to a screeching halt just inside the door, and Gwen’s eyes grew hard and flinty as she took Cara in suspiciously. “Who are you? And how did you get back here?” She was kind of the mama bear of the group ever since Tate and Declan’s whole debacle. And that protective instinct had come rushing up to the surface.

  “Gwen, meet Cara, Killian’s ex-fiancée. Long story that we’ll get into later, but she’s basically been stalking him to the point of showing up in Spain like a freaking psycho. He wants nothing to do with her, but apparently she’s too dense to get a clue. Where are the guys? I don’t want them walking in on—”

  “What the fuck?”

  Too late.

  “Bitch, have you lost your fuckin’ mind, showin’ up here?” Declan continued to growl. Tate put a hand on his chest in an attempt to calm him. It didn’t work one bit.

  Garrett asked, “What’s goin’ on? Why’s everyone crowded in the doorwa—oh fuck.”

  The rest of the posse came barreling in: Mace and Lyla, Ian, Corrie, and a couple of his other guards, and Killian bringing up the rear, like one big fucking party.

  “No goddamn way,” Kill growled. “This isn’t fucking happening.”

  “Baby, please. If we could just have a moment in private—”

  “No,” I answered before Killian had a chance to. “You don’t get to speak to him in private or public or at all. Not anymore. Nothing you have to say to him matters.”

  “Why don’t you let him speak for himself,” she snapped at me, her face twisting in a way that showed the true ugliness inside her.

  Killian came up beside me and crossed his arms over his chest with a smug grin. “I don’t know. She’s off to a pretty good start. Might as well let her finish.”

  “Kill, honey—”

  “I’m sorry,” I broke in, looking back to my girls who’d crowded close to my back for support. “Did she just call my man honey right in front of me?”

  “I think she did,” Tate replied.

  “Yep,” Lyla said with a fierce scowl.

  “You need me to cut a bitch?” Corrine asked.

  “What?” Gwen yelped.

  “Wait,” Mace said over all of them. “Her man?”

  Well, the cat’s out of the bag, I guess. It wasn’t how we’d planned on telling them, but there was no going back now.

  Lyla turned around and patted his arm. “I’ll fill you in later. Be quiet and enjoy the show. Gina might be tiny, but she’s got some serious claws.”

  Garrett spoke up again. “I’m still trying to wrap my brain around the fact that Gina and Kill’ve been knockin’ boots. How long has this been going on?”

  Ignoring my friends’ ridiculousness, I glared back at Cara, realizing then, with that nasty, entitled expression on her face, that she wasn’t nearly as pretty as I’d initially thought.

  I took a step in her direction. “You lost the right to talk to him, look at him, or even breathe the same air as him when you cheated on him. And with Luther Ross?”

  “Oh gross!” Gwen yelped.

  “Think he sang ‘Booty Sweat’ while he was giving her the business?” Corrine asked in a not-so-quiet whisper.

  “You were stupid enough to throw him away, that’s on you. I won’t make the same mistake. I know what I have, and I don’t take it for granted. I love him. He’s important to me, and part of taking care of someone important to me means protecting him from anything that could cause him even the slightest bit of pain.” I made sure to smile as I added, “Even stuck-up, opportunistic bitches hedging their bets for the biggest payday.”

  “You don’t know what you’re talking about,” she spat ignorantly, continuing to fight even though she didn’t have a leg to stand on.

  “Oh, sweetheart, but I do. Now you can either leave on your own two feet, or I’m gonna have that big mountain of a man over there drag you out by your hair.” I pointed at Ian, whose lips were curled up in a tiny smirk. “So what’s it gonna be?”

  “And word to the wise,” Mace chimed in, “I suggest you make the right choice, ’cause Ian’s not the only one who’d be happy to throw your skank ass out after what you did to our brother.”

  She tried to hide her fear behind false bravado, but it was easy to see right through it. Our friends cleared a path as she stomped toward the door on her fancy heels.”

  “Oh, and Cara?” She stopped and looked over her shoulder when I said her name. “Don’t come back. Next time, it won’t be Ian dealing with you. I’ll take care of it myself. And trust me, you don’t want that.”

  “Holy shit,” Garrett mumbled under his breath. “You weren’t kidding. She’s a scary little thing.”

  “Everybody out.”

  My head shot to the side in surprise at Killian’s harsh tone. “Kill—”

  “Out!” he barked. “Now.”

  The room quickly cleared, and Gwen made sure to close the door behind her. The second the latch clicked, he grabbed my hand and spun me around.

  “Don’t you dare be mad at me,” I snapped, moving backward. “I was only doing what any good girlfriend would do, and I’d do it all over again. I won’t apologize for being protective of you.”

  His face remained fierce as he stalked toward me predatorily. “I’m not mad.”

  “Really? Because you
look it.”

  “Oh yeah. I’m not mad. At all.”

  I kept shuffling until the backs of my knees collided with the couch against the wall. “Then why do you look like you’re about to tear into me?”

  “Because I am, Thumbelina,” he replied with a wicked grin. “But trust me, you’ll enjoy every fuckin’ minute of it.”

  My mouth dropped open on a surprised gasp. “You—you’re turned on?”

  “You kidding me?” he asked as he pushed me onto the couch and lowered to hover over me. “That was the hottest goddamn thing I’d ever seen. No one’s ever defended me the way you just did.”

  “Well, that’s what you do when you love someone.”

  His voice softened in a way I’d never heard before. “I’m starting to figure that out.”

  A shiver worked its way down my back, and I don’t think I could’ve swooned any harder if I’d tried.

  “Now get undressed.”

  That time I shivered for a totally different reason.

  Killian

  I went to sleep that night thinking that my life was perfect. I’d finally gotten over the shit that had been holding me back. I had a girl I worshipped. And I was happy. There wasn’t a thing that could hold me down or lessen the high I was riding.

  Or so I thought… until a call in the middle of the night pulled the rug out from under the both of us.

  Chapter Thirty-Three

  Gina

  The thick antiseptic smell burned my nose. The incessant beeping of the machines pounded inside my skull until my head ached so bad it hurt to blink. And my heart… well, I wasn’t sure it would ever beat properly again.

  My eyes were dry and scratchy, and my throat was raw from constantly swallowing down my emotions. I was a wreck, and I wasn’t sure if or when I’d come out of it.

  “Baby, please. You have to eat something.”

  I turned my face away from the sandwich Killian held in front of me. The thought of eating anything made my stomach revolt.

  “I’m not hungry,” I said, and even to my own ears my voice sounded flat and emotionless.

  Grabbing the stool across the room, he rolled it to the side of the hospital bed and sat down beside me. “You’ve had nothing but coffee for the past three days, sweetness. You can’t keep goin’ like this. You’ll make yourself sick.”

  Three days. Had it really only been three days since Lucille called to tell me my mom had been rushed to the hospital by ambulance? Had it really been three days since Kill and I had flown back to Seattle so I could get to the hospital, only for the doctor to tell me she’d had another stroke in her sleep and wasn’t waking up? It felt like it had been so much longer, like an eternity had passed.

  Killian had taken care of everything, packing up all my stuff and organizing the plane to fly us home in the middle of the night. I vaguely recalled telling him to stay and finish the last two shows, but he’d refused. The rest of the guys backed his call. The bass player for Usual Suspects covered for Kill in his absence, and the last two shows went as scheduled while Killian stuck by my side as I sank into a black pit of despair.

  “If I eat, I’ll get sick,” I muttered, crossing my arms on the bed and resting my chin on top of them. I stared up at my mom, praying for her to open her eyes. She looked so peaceful, like she was just sleeping, waiting for a prince to come along and kiss her so she could wake up.

  But that wasn’t going to happen.

  “The doctor came in while you were gone,” I said, tears rolling from my eyes unchecked. “There’s nothing they can do. It’s up to me now.”

  He set the Styrofoam carton on the floor at his feet and rested his hand on my back, rubbing soothing circles. “What about the tests they were running? The EEG?”

  “No activity.” Those two words were the hardest I’d ever spoken. My breath hitched in an effort to keep from breaking down. “She’s not in there anymore, Kill. This time she really is gone.”

  “Christ,” he grunted, rolling closer so he could wrap his arms around me without dislodging my grip on my mom’s hand. “I’m so sorry, baby. I’m so goddamn sorry.”

  “The only thing keeping her body here are these fucking machines,” I bit out. “I know it’s the right thing to do, that it’s selfish to keep her here like this, but how do I make myself actually say the words? How do I tell them—” My words cracked as the sob I’d been fighting back broke free.

  We stayed like that until I’d cried so long and so hard that there was nothing left. The tears dried on my cheeks, making my skin tight and uncomfortable.

  “How do I do this, Kill?”

  “I don’t know,” he answered in a pained voice. “I wish I had an answer for you, Thumbelina. All I can say is you should take as much time as you need. Wait until you’re ready.”

  “You don’t think that’s selfish?”

  “No,” he answered resolutely. “Because I know you. You don’t have a selfish bone in your body, baby. You’ll do the right thing at the right time, because that’s just how you are. But think of this—no matter what, she’s at peace. There’s no more pain.”

  “At peace,” I repeated on a barely there whisper. “I like the sound of that.”

  “Then that’s what you should concentrate on. Forget all the rest.”

  We sat like that for another hour, the silence punctuated with the steady digital beeps as I thought over everything Killian had said. When I finally felt like I was ready, I pulled from his embrace and sat up, turning in my chair to face him. “I think—” My throat bobbed on a swallow. “I think I’ll be ready soon. But… would it be okay if I had a few minutes alone with her before we do it?”

  His hand came up, those callused fingers brushing my skin as he tucked strands of hair behind my ear. “Whatever you need. I’ll be right outside. You let me know the minute you want me and I’m here.”

  Wrapping my fingers around his wrist, I closed my eyes and gave it a squeeze. “Thank you. Thank you for everything. I couldn’t have done this without you.”

  “You could have,” he murmured, leaning in to place his lips against my forehead. “I don’t have a single doubt about that. But it doesn’t mean you should have to.”

  Killian

  I paced the hall like a caged animal. I was desperate to get back in there with her, but I knew she needed this time with her mom without an audience, and I had to give it to her no matter how much I wanted to rush back into that room.

  My phone had been going off like crazy all day long with calls from our friends wanting to check on Gina, wanting to be there for her. I’d done my best to keep them up to date, but I knew they were growing restless, especially the girls. They wanted to be here for her and were currently going as stir-crazy as I was.

  Pulling my phone from my pocket, I scrolled through to answer as many calls and texts as I could before Gina needed me again. I was just about to swipe the screen when it vibrated with an incoming call. From my old man.

  I answered and put the phone to my ear. “Hey, Dad. Now’s not really a good time. Can I call you ba—?”

  “I just saw on the TV that you bailed on the last two shows of your tour. What the hell’s goin’ on in your head, boy? You walk out on your fans for that girl?”

  The stress and turmoil of the past few days had already taken its toll, and I snapped. “Stop. I told you not to talk about her like that. I won’t repeat myself, understand?”

  “I knew it,” he snarled through the line. “I knew you’d let another gold digger lead you around by the dick. When are you gonna learn, boy!”

  “Jesus Christ!” I bellowed, my voice reverberating off the cold beige walls of the hospital corridor. “When the hell are you gonna stop being such a miserable fuckin’ bastard, huh? Do you have any idea where the fuck I am right now, old man?”

  “Don’t you take that tone—”

  “I’m at the hospital! That woman you so lovingly refer to as a gold digger is in a room right fuckin’ now trying to build up the
courage to take her mother off life support. That’s why I missed the last two shows. My girl’s in there right now saying goodbye. It’s never been about the money, you ignorant bastard. And even if it had been, I’d have gladly given her every goddamn dime I had if it meant I could’ve stopped this in some way. Because that’s what you do when you love someone. You fight for them. You protect them. You try your damnedest to take away their pain, because when they hurt, you hurt. Gina’s the one who taught me that, so don’t you dare sit here and talk down about her. She’s a hundred times the person you could ever be, because no matter how many times life knocked her down, she got back up and kept fighting. What the fuck did you ever do but roll over and give up?”

  “I-I didn’t,” he stumbled over his words. “I didn’t know, son.”

  “Of course you didn’t. Because you never bothered to ask. You were too busy ripping her to shreds without even knowing her. That’s on you. Now, I’ve given you all the time you’re gonna get. You decide to pull your head outta your ass and give her a chance, then maybe I’ll let you near her, but not until she’s good and ready. And word to the wise, I wouldn’t hold your breath on that happening any time soon, not with how your last conversation went.”

  I hung up the phone and stuffed it back in my pocket, my temples pulsing with a storm of so many emotions that I couldn’t separate one from another.

  The door to Tricia’s room creaked open, and I jerked around to find a puffy-faced, cried-out Gina peeking her head out. “I-I’m ready,” she whispered, biting on her bottom lip. “Will you stay with me?”

  I headed to her, leading us both back into the room and pulling her against me. “I’m not going anywhere, baby. Ever.”

  Gina

  He stayed through every excruciating minute that ticked by while we waited for my mother to finally pass. He held me while I sobbed, pouring out all my pain and sorrow, drenching his shirt with my heartache. He was my rock when it was finally time to go home. I never thought the day would come when I’d want to stay in a place like that, so sterile and sad, but leaving that hospital was like ripping my own heart out.