Till Death Us Do Part

by V, Krissy

  "You are welcome anywhere I go Tasha, anywhere" he smiles and gets out of the car and comes round to my side to open the door for me. When he helps me out of the car, he doesn't move away from me, he pushes me against the car and kisses me like his life depends on it to breathe "I wanted to do that at your house, but knew I had to wait. I could kiss you all day and I wouldn't get bored, you are so beautiful Tasha" he takes my hand and pulls me into the house. "Come on lets go make some dinner" he says smiling.

  We go into the kitchen and I jump up on the stool by the work surface, I can see he's been home this afternoon because the fire was on in the lounge when we passed through and there were dishes with food already prepared and cut up ready to cook. "I see you’ve been busy today Caleb" I say looking around me.

  He smiles, "Yeah I was hoping I was going to see you tonight so I bought some food and drink. I was surprised, but delighted when you asked to stay. I didn't think you would, to me it means that you trust me and that makes me so happy" all the time he is talking he is preparing and cooking the food. "I hope you're hungry Tasha"

  "I am Caleb, and I wanted to stay with you, we have a few things to talk about if we are going to make a go of this. I know that sounds serious and so soon into our relationship but I feel like we need to be honest and open with each other. I've been through too much from not being honest and I want this to last." I know I'm waffling but I need him to understand.

  "I promise I will always be open with you Tasha, I don't intend to piss you off, but if I do then I hope you will tell me so that we can talk it through" he walks over and kisses me on the forehead. He then walks over to the fridge and opens it "Is white wine ok?" I say yes and watch him open a bottle and pour two glasses. I can see his muscles in his forearms flex as he pulls the cork out. He hands me my glass and gives me a quick kiss on the lips. "Dinner will be about half an hour so will we sit in the lounge by the fire and talk?" he asks as he holds out his hand for me to take and follow him. I do as he wants.

  "Come on then lets see how nice this fire is" I say following behind him. When we get into the lounge there is low music playing and we sit in front of the fire, with him leaning up against the sofa and I sit in between his legs leaning back onto his chest. It feels very familiar and very comfortable. It feels like this is where I belong.

  "It is where you belong Angel" he chuckles.

  "Oh crap did I just say that out loud" I laugh too because I'm embarrassed.

  "You did and I'm delighted you think that" he pulls me closer and kisses me on the top of my head and wraps one arm around me "I'd love to sit like this all night Tasha, just having you here in my house, sitting with me like this is a dream come true for me. I’m so glad you came into my life, it has been so much better since you did.” I lean into him and we both sit there looking at the fire in complete silence, a comfortable silence.

  After about 10 minutes of silence, Caleb says “I don’t want to move you because I like sitting here with you like this, but dinner is ready and I don’t want to serve you up burnt dinner Tasha" he slowly moves me so that he can stand up and then pulls me up his body and gives me a steamy kiss. I take his hand and we go into the kitchen and I help to bring the dishes to the dining table. This is a stunning area over looking the decking and the sea. It's beautiful, I could sit and look at this view all night, it's so peaceful.

  We enjoy a lovely dinner and talk about ourselves, we get to know each other better. We laugh and ask questions about our lives before meeting. I don't talk about Felix and Caleb doesn't ask.

  After we have finished dinner and cleared away the dishes we go back into the lounge and sit in front of the fire again, although this time Caleb sits on the sofa and pulls me down to sit on his lap. This is comfortable too, however, I start to panic a little because I can feel the mood changing and Celeb is kissing me deeper and more urgently now.

  "Caleb as much as I enjoy what you're doing right now, I think we need to talk about sex" I say looking at the floor.

  "Ok if that's what you want, we don't need to yet Angel I can control myself, honestly" he says putting his finger under my chin and lifting it up so he can kiss me.

  "I know you can Caleb, but I'd like to talk about it so it doesn't become the white elephant in the room, is that ok?"

  He nods and takes hold of my hand "You start Tasha and you decide on the pace"

  "Ok, I'm embarrassed but I need to get this off my chest, I am really attracted to you physically Caleb and I want to take our relationship to the next stage but I'm worried how I'll react after the last time I was intimate. I think to do that I need to tell you what happened between Felix and me, you need to understand why I might react in a certain way. Is that ok? Do you mind me telling you?"

  I turn to face him because I'm scared he's going to say no! This is too much for anyone to deal with, I start to move off his lap to stand up. He reaches out and grabs my hand "Sit down Tasha, I'm not hesitating because I don't want to hear it or because I can't cope with what you're going to say, I'm hesitating because I don't want you to have to go through it all again, I don't want to see you suffer. If you want to tell me, then I'll listen but I can't promise that I won't get angry - not at you but at Him!" he pulls me back onto his lap and wraps his arms around me.

  "I need to do this Caleb or I won't be able to move on. It all started on our wedding day or at least that's when I realised something was different" I sit on his lap and tell him the whole story including Felix pushing me down the stairs, the night of the ball and how he assaulted me and the last night, the night I got the job offers and went through the contracts and what happened in the bedroom that night. I had tears running down my face, I couldn't help it, I can't believe I went through all of that.

  "Can I touch you Angel, I want to comfort you, but I don't want to upset you" he says as he reaches out to touch my face. I nod my head and he slowly touches my cheeks "Tasha I can't believe that anyone could put you through all of that. I won't push you into anything, honestly. I just want to protect you and look after you"

  I look up at him and I can see he has tears in his eyes "Caleb, don't get upset, it happened and I've moved on, I need to forget it so that I can have a proper relationship with you, I have so many feelings for you and it scares me because I don't want to disappoint you Caleb, I'm falling hard for you" I look up into his eyes and see the surprise there "I want everything with you" I move so that I'm straddling him and facing him, I lean into him and kiss him on the lips "I want to be worth it for you Caleb" I kiss him again and force my tongue into his mouth, he kisses me back, the kiss is so emotional for both of us.

  "Tasha you are so amazing, to be able to go through all of that and come out the other side and be such a wonderful person. I promise you I won't ask you to do anything you don't want to do ok Angel, I promise" we sit on the couch with me facing him and him holding me to his chest for quite a while.

  "Tasha will you take a walk with me on the beach, I feel like some fresh air" I lean back and tell him that I would, so I get off him and then he takes my hands, stands up, we grab our coats and walk out onto the decking.

  "Caleb this is so beautiful, I can't believe you actually live here"

  "Not as often as I would like Tasha, but if I had someone to share it with someday then I'd gladly drive to work everyday from here" he pulls me in close and puts his arm around my shoulder.

  “I wanted to show you how it looked at night! It’s really special at night!” We walk along the beach for about half an hour "It's getting cold we need to go back home, I want to get you in bed so I can snuggle up to you all night"

  I didn't think about staying over and sleeping in a bed next to him, I'm sure I can do this, but I find him so attractive, maybe we can try something and see how we go.

  "Come on then Caleb let's go back, let's go to bed" I say.

  "I've been waiting a long time to hear you say that Angel" he laughs. We go back to the house and then Caleb locks the house down and we go up to his
room. It really is huge, and beautiful but so masculine.

  I start to get my things out of my bag and I can feel Caleb looking at me "Is everything ok Caleb?" I ask as I turn to find him staring at me with his mouth open.

  "Tasha you are so beautiful I'm so lucky you fell into my life" he walks towards me and kisses me so tenderly on the mouth. He stands back and starts to take off his clothes but leaves his boxers on, although they don't leave anything to the imagination as they are tight fitting to his gorgeous body. I know I'm staring as I gulp a breath I look up and see him watching me with laughter in his eyes. I can feel a blush coming over my face and he smiles.

  "Are you wearing just that in bed?" I ask.

  "Does it make you uncomfortable Tasha" he asks smiling.

  "Not really just preparing myself, back in a minute" I turn and walk into the bathroom. When I walk out he is already in bed waiting for me, I climb in beside him and he pulls me to him. I’m facing him and he pushes me slowly onto my back and while he kisses me, his hands start to rub up and down my body, feeling their way around. When his hand moves between my legs I start panicking, I jump back and jump off the bed. I start screaming and sit in the corner of the room just rocking back and forth.

  I don’t know how long I’m like that but my throat feels hoarse and my clothes are wet. Caleb is sat in front of me as white as a ghost “Tasha tell me you’re ok, I want to comfort you but I don’t want to scare you”. I slowly look up at him to see he has tears on his face too, he knows I’ve seen them “Tasha I’m so worried that you’ll hate me for touching you like that, I’m sorry, I wasn’t going to go any further I promise. I would never do anything to hurt you. I promise” I know he is telling the truth.

  “Hold me Caleb, please” I say and he takes me and lifts me onto his lap and he rests against the wall as he wraps his arms around me and makes me feel comfortable again. I must have fallen asleep on his lap because when I open my eyes I am in the bed and it’s morning.

  Chapter 61

  I START MOVING TO turn and look at Caleb when he says “Good Morning Tasha, come here” and he pulls me closer to him. I feel safe when I am this close to him.

  After breakfast we drive to Mum and Dad’s for dinner, it was strange just the four of us, but they made Caleb feel really welcome and I can’t thank them enough for that.

  Before I know it it’s Wednesday and I'm meeting Kammie in our favourite pub after work. She's already there when I enter and waves me over. She has already ordered a cocktail and I smile at her. We haven't done this for so long I give her a big hug and tell her I love her.

  She smiles and says "love you too bitch" and then she laughs.

  We sit and pass the time with general chit chat, my health, my job, her job and then we talk about Luca.

  "How are things going with Luca, Kammie?" I ask because I want all the juicy details.

  She smiles and says "Great absolutely great, I can't believe there was a time when he wasn't there for me. He stays at my place most nights and I love it!"

  "That's great Kammie you deserve to be happy"

  "So Tasha tell me about Caleb, what's going on with you two?"

  I signal for the waiter to bring us more cocktails and then I say "Everything is going so well, he makes me feel like the most beautiful person on earth, he is always doing things for me, it feels like we are two parts molded together, I never thought it would feel this good, what I had with Felix was nowhere near as intense as my feelings for Caleb. Does that mean that I didn't really love Felix? Then again I had agreed to spend the rest of my life with him so I know I loved him. I think I'm just confused that's all"

  The waiter puts our drinks down and we lift them in the air for a toast "Here's to new love" Kammie says.

  We both take a sip of our drinks and then I carry on "Kammie I need to talk to you about something, I'm a little bit embarrassed and don't know what to do."

  She leans in towards me "Sounds intriguing carry on"

  I take a deep breath "I want to talk about sex" I look around me because I'm getting embarrassed "I don't know if I can have sex with Caleb, Kammie" I can feel the tears welling up. "We talked about it and he's happy for me to lead the way, which I'm not used to doing. I really fancy him and love when his body is touching mine, but I’m so scared"

  "Tell me exactly what you're scared of Tasha" she says taking my hand and rubbing it.

  "I'm scared he won't stick around and help me get past the barriers I've got about sex, what if he gets bored of waiting Kammie? I don't know what I'd do. We were in bed the other night and we were cuddling and he was rubbing his hand up and down my body, when we started getting more intimate, I screamed and dived out of the bed and went to the corner of the room, slid down the wall onto my honkers and just rocked back and forth. It was so embarrassing!”

  “Oh god Tasha, I didn’t think about how you would cope with being intimate again. I’m sorry for everything that has happened to you and I will do whatever I can to help you move on from Felix. Tell me what did Caleb do when you went into the corner?” she asked.

  I wipe my eyes and try to talk, but it’s hard so I take another few sips of my drink. I’ve had quite a few already and I know I won’t be able to drive home. “He flew out of the bed, came over to the corner, he sat in front of me and asked could he hug me, when I said yes he moved behind me, put me onto his lap and held me, he rocked me too and fro and we sat like that for about half an hour, I must have fallen asleep. Then he lifted me into his arms and took me to bed and cuddled me all night. I felt really bad though, he doesn’t need to put up with that, there must be other women out there who can make him happy and have sex with him Kammie, it’s just not fair”

  “Tasha from what I know about Caleb, something like that isn’t going to stop him from getting what he wants and he wants you. He will wait until you’re ready, he is in this for the long term he told Luca that you know. I think he’s fallen in love with you, he can’t take his eyes off you whenever you are in the room. You deserve his love and don’t you dare think anything else”

  “Thanks Kammie, but I’m sure he would be happier without me around to make his life miserable. My body wants him, but somehow I can’t get passed what happened. I told him all about Felix and what happened since I met him in the nightclub, I felt that he needed to know so that he could understand any issues that I had. However, I don’t think its fair to him” I am crying again because the thought of giving Caleb up makes me so upset.

  “Tasha don’t be silly you can’t just give up on someone like Caleb, he won’t let you for one and you both have something so special that only comes along once in your life, you need to keep him Tasha, you know that though. Don’t give up at the first hurdle Tasha, he’s worth more than that”

  We sit quietly for a few minutes then Kammie says to me “Tasha, I know you don’t want to talk about this but just in case you forgot. Luca reminded me last night that he still has Felix’s suicide note that he left for you. Do you think if you read it you might feel better?”

  “Oh god Kammie, I forgot all about that. I don’t want to read it, it’ll bring it all up again and I don’t think I can deal with that.” I say while swirling my drink around in my glass.

  “Look Luca just text me and he’s around the corner with Caleb, they met up because Caleb was worried about you after the other night, do you mind them coming in here. I think Caleb needs to see how worried you are and maybe we can all talk about things to try and help you” she says sheepishly. “If you don’t want them to come here then that’s fine, but Luca really needs to talk to you about this Tasha”

  I think about this for a while and then say “I don’t mind Kammie, it might help” and I sit back in my chair drinking more of my cocktail while she texts Luca to let him know that they should both come into the pub.

  It takes them about ten minutes and Kammie and me don’t talk to each other, we just stare into our drinks.

  “Hey girls” Luca says coming over to us
, he leans over and kisses me on the forehead and then kisses Kammie on the mouth and sits next to her.

  “Hey” Caleb says nodding to Kammie and coming over to me and kissing me on the lips and then sitting next to me and takes my hand.

  “Hey guys” Kammie says “Can’t last a night out without us huh?” she says laughing.

  “No we can’t, we missed you terribly” Caleb says laughing, his thumb is rubbing my hand, to make sure I am ok.

  I smile up at him and lean across and kiss him on the lips “It’s good to see you guys, glad you decided to come and join us”

  We sit and talk for a while and then I say “Luca I understand you have something you want to give me”

  He finishes taking a sip of his drink, which has arrived while we were all chatting “Yeah am I ok to talk about it with you Tasha?” I nod my head and so he continues “That afternoon that I came to the house when you rang me, I found a note in the bedroom, leaning up on your bedside table. It had your name on it so I took it, I didn’t think you wanted the police to find it and read it. I still have it Tasha and I think you should read it, I know he was a sadistic bastard at the end, but he loved you and I don’t think you can move on without reading it Tasha” he looks up at me and sees that I have a couple of tears running down my face.