Because of You

by Maria E. Monteiro

  I tell her everything, from him breaking my heart when I was ten years old to the way he asked me to homecoming. The whole time Trisha sits next to me rubbing her belly with an amused smile across her face.

  “Wow. He’s so romantic. I love how he asked you to homecoming. All my boyfriend in high school did was ask me if we were going to go or not. He was a real jerk.” We both start laughing.

  “I thought I heard laughter coming from here,” my father says, entering clean shaved in a gray T-shirt and jeans. He looks so happy. I want to believe he was happy with us, but I don’t remember him looking like this. He was always upset about something. “What’s so funny?”

  “Nothing. Just talking about boys,” Trisha says, getting up from her chair and giving my father a kiss on the cheek. “I’ll make breakfast.” She turns to me with a glow in her eyes and asks, “Is there anything you’re in the mood for?”

  The part of me that needs to hate her wants to say nothing, but the part of me that just enjoyed talking to her says, “Blueberry pancakes.”

  “You got it.” She begins to pull out bowls and pans.

  “Here I’ll help,” I say taking the pancake mix from her. I’m not sure if this means I’m ready to like her, but I am ready to make things a little less tense when I’m over here.

  “Stewart did you know Jade is going to her homecoming dance next week?” Trisha asks as we start eating.

  “No I didn’t. Are you going with Austin?”

  “Yes,” I reply, hoping his reaction is not like my mother’s. She just shook her head and told me she liked Garret better.

  “That’s great. I like him. So what does your dress look like?”

  “I don’t have one yet.”

  “What? You don’t have a dress yet?” Trisha asks acting like it’s most horrible thing she’s ever heard.

  “I haven’t had time to get one. Farrah wanted to go today but my mom is busy.”

  “How about if Trisha takes you? She’s great with fashion,” my father says.

  “It’s just...” I want to say okay, but all I can think about is how my mother will feel when she learns I went with Trisha.

  “It’s okay. I know that’s something you do with your mom. Can you just send me a picture of your dress when you get it? I’m a big sap when it comes to all of this stuff.” Trisha smiles but I can see the pain in her blue eyes. “Well I better go get dress.” She walks out of the kitchen before her face can fall any further.

  “I don’t understand why Trisha can’t take you?” my dad asks looking upset again.

  “Dad?! Are you serious? Look, I’m being nice ok, but don’t push me to do something I don’t want to.” I get up from the table and head to my room as a storm of emotions are flood my stomach. I hate feeling like I’m betraying my mom, at the same time I feel bad for hurting Trisha’s feelings. I wonder if this will ever get easier.

  By the middle of the week I begin to wish I would’ve taken Trisha up on her offer. Between my sister’s wedding and Tony my mother has had no time to take me shopping. I can’t even go by myself since I don’t have a car.

  I would ask Austin if he could take me, but his father has him on lock down to make sure he’s ready for the game on Friday. I only get to see him in the morning and at school. We mange to talk on the phone at night, but it’s not the same. I can’t wait until this week is over. I miss him so much.

  Farrah is also out as an option. As a trade off for getting the very expensive dress she wanted she has to babysit all her sisters all week long. She doesn’t even have time to talk on the phone.

  “Mom? Do you think you can take me dress shopping tonight? The dance is in three days and I still...”

  “I’m sorry Jade, but I can’t. I have a huge weddings this weekend and...”

  “Forget it!” I can’t believe she’s being like this. Last year she bugged me for weeks to go dress shopping and this year she can care less.

  “Here take my car and credit card and go pick out any dress you want.” She hands me her keys and Visa card. This sucks! I actually wanted to do this with her. I wanted us to bond the same way I did with Trisha the other day.

  “Thanks.” I try my best not to sound sad.

  I jump into her car but instead of driving to the mall I drive straight to my father’s house. I’m going to ask Trisha to help me.

  25

  Falling Deep

  My father was right when he said Trisha has a great sense of fashion. She helped me pick out the cutest cobalt blue strapless satin dress. It has a sweetheart neckline and comes out at the waist and ends half way down my thighs. I love it. I can’t wait for Austin to see me in it tonight.

  “Well, don’t you look beautiful,” my mother says walking into my room.

  “Thank you. I didn’t think you were gonna make it home in time to see me.”

  “I know I haven’t been here for you, but I want you...”

  “It’s cool.” I’m not really in the mood to have some sentimental moment with her right now. The truth is I’m still upset she didn’t want to go dress shopping with me. I think that’s why I’m about to say something I might regret later. “Oh, by the way Dad and Trisha are coming by to take pictures.”

  Her brown eyes pop open. “What? Why?”

  “Because I invited them. I just thought since Trisha helped me pick out this dress and Dad paid for it, it’s only fair they get to come over to take pictures.”

  “What are you talking about? I gave you my credit card to get your dress. You even told me you spent three hundred dollars on your dress and shoes.”

  “No. You asked me how much I spent and I told you. I never said I paid with your card. You can check your statement when it comes.”

  “You know Jade, sometimes you can be a real brat,” my mom says no longer looking at me with endearment in her eyes. “Then why didn’t you just get ready at your father’s house?”

  “Because it’s not his weekend,” I answer, applying sunset lip-gloss on. I put the wand back into the bottle and give her a tight lip smile. I don’t want to fight with her but at the same time I’m feel she deserves everything I’m throwing at her right now.

  “Well then hurry up and get outside for pictures. I don’t want your father or that woman in my house.” She turns around and storms out of my room.

  Now I really do feel like shit. Why did I invite them over? I text Austin and ask him to meet me outside as soon as possible. I just want to get out of here.

  I walk out to the perfect fall night sky where each star is shining bright and find Austin standing next to Tony and his mother. He must be telling them about the game, because he pretends to catch the ball and look everywhere as he runs in place. I only got to watch half the game, but the half I did get to watch Austin did amazing. Even his father had nothing to complain about.

  He looks so good. I’m so used of seeing him in jeans or sweatpants, he looks different dressed up in black dress pants and black button down shirt, which makes his pin striped emerald green tie stand out. He looks up at me with his big brown eyes and stops speaking as he takes me in.

  His dimples appear making my heart flutter as fast as the butterflies in my stomach are. All the anger and shame I was just feeling fades away.

  “You look so beautiful,” Austin says, stepping away from Tony and his mother. He takes my hand to help me step down.

  “You don’t look so bad yourself.” He leans in and gives me a soft kiss on my cheek.

  My dad and Trisha pull up just in time. Trisha jumps out of the car with her belly sticking out a little more. I still can’t believe there’s something growing in there.

  “You look so beautiful!” She takes me in her arms and gives me a tight hug. I pull away quickly before my mother walks outside and gets even more upset with me.

  “You really do look beautiful,” Austin’s mother says.

  “Thank you.”

  “I can’t believe my baby girl is all grown up,” my father adds taking his turn
to give me a hug. I swear if it continues like this my dress is going to be all wrinkled by the time I get to the dance.

  “Oh, hello Stewart,” my mother says, acting surprised to see him. She doesn’t acknowledge Trisha’s presences at all. I don’t think the air around us can get any thicker. “Tony, honey can you bring me my camera.” I know this is her way of letting my father know she’s moved on too.

  Both of parents and Austin’s mother begin to snap pictures as Austin stands behind me allowing me to breath him in. I love his choice of cologne. I have to fight every muscle in my body not to turn around and start kissing him.

  “If they’re taking these many pictures for the homecoming dance can you imagine how many they’ll take for prom?” he whispers in my ear.

  “Is this your way of asking me to prom?”

  Austin chuckles, “Maybe.”

  “What makes you think I’ll still be with you by then?” I tease while I try to hold on to my picture ready smile.

  “I just know.”

  “Who would have thought our kids would end up going out,” Mr. Evens says stepping out of his house offering my dad a beer.

  “I know. Right?” My dad takes the beer and takes a long sip.

  “I sure didn’t!” My mother calls out ending her photo shoot. “I never thought my daughter would end up dating a boy who used to torment her. Or a boy whose parents helped my lousy husband hide his affair.”

  Everyone stops taking pictures and turns to face my mother now. She laughs it off taking a sip of her wine. My mother, her anger, and wine do not mix well.

  “Well, this crazy couple has to get to the dance and celebrate our win. See you guys later,” Austin says, pulling me by the hand and leading me to his car.

  I jump in as fast as I can. Austin starts his car and zooms off. I’m so happy we got out of there before the air could get any thicker.

  We pick up Farrah and Josh and head straight to the dance. Our plan is stay there for a little while and then head to the after party at Derek’s house.

  We walk into the gym and see everyone out on the dance floor dancing to the latest radio hit. We walk around saying hi to everyone we know.

  “Austade!” Someone yells as we walk past the refreshment table. Austin looks at me and smiles. He likes our nickname just as much as I do.

  I lean in and whisper in Farrah’s ear, “Do you know if Logan was coming?” I haven’t spoken to him in so long. I’ve tried texting him, but he never responds back. I was hoping I’d see him here and maybe find out what girl he’s supposedly dating.

  “I have no idea. Logan’s not talking to me either.”

  Sooner or later Logan and I are going to have a talk and determine if this friendship is worth saving or not. I’m hoping it is, but I can’t force him to be my friend. I have to push Logan out of my head for tonight and have a good time. This might be the only homecoming I get to go with Austin.

  It doesn’t take us long for us to join everyone on the dance floor. I get lost in the music. We dance one song after the other. Most of the time I find myself enveloped in Austin’s arms.

  The DJ slows things down and plays Run by Snow Patrol. It’s one of my favorite songs. I played it a lot during my parent’s separation. I glance over at Farrah, who is holding on tightly to Josh. She looks up and gives me a shinning smile. I know it’s her who requested for me. I nod and smile right back at her.

  I wrap my arms around Austin’s neck as he firmly holds my waist and we begin to sway to the rhythm of the music. We stare into each other’s eyes forgetting there’s anyone else in the room. Right when the tempo begins to pick up he brings me in tighter and begins to kiss me. Every inch of me tingles, and I realize I am no longer falling for Austin, I’ve already fallen.

  “I’m sorry I couldn’t contain myself,” Austin says pulling away with his eyes still closed when the song ends.

  “No need to apologize. I felt the same way.”

  He strokes my bare arms with his warm hands. Even his callous feel soft tonight. “I can’t wait to have you all to myself.”

  “Me too.”

  We continue to dance and finally the time comes to announce the Homecoming King and Queen. Josh and his ex girlfriend Julie win, which doesn’t surprise anybody. I can feel Farrah’s body stiffen as we watch them dance together. I hate to admit that he is holding her extra tight. His hands keep stroking her back while Julie digs her face into his neck.

  “I can’t watch this any longer,” Farrah says, and walks off to the bathroom. I follow right behind. I don’t blame her. I don’t think I could stand it if I had to watch Austin dance with any other girl, especially his ex-girlfriend

  “Did I tell you how hot you look in your dress tonight?” I ask, trying to get her to smile. I’m not lying to her. She really does look beautiful in her short black and white dress with her dark blond long hair in loose curls.

  “Thank you. You look hot too.” She’s smiling but her eyes are full of fear. I give her a quick hug hoping her heart doesn’t’ get broken.

  I open the door and stop right as Garret walks by. He looks at me and smiles. I haven’t spoken to him since the night he tried to kiss me. I think we both been trying to keep our distance from each other.

  “How are you?” he asks me.

  “Good. And you?”

  “Better. You look beautiful.”

  “Thank you.” All I keep thinking is I have to get away from him before Austin walks out here.

  “Hey, Garret do you know if Logan came to the dance?” Farrah asks. I never told her what happened the other night.

  “Nah, he didn’t come. He went to visit Jesse after the game. Well I’ll see you guys later.” He walks away and joins Cara, who’s talking to some other girls. I guess they’re back together.

  “Do you think Logan will ever start acting like our friend again?” Farrah asks.

  “I don’t know. I hope so, because I really do miss him.” I pull out my phone from my silver clutch and text him, Miss U.

  Twenty minutes later I sit in Austin’s car heading to Derek’s house still checking my phone, but Logan hasn’t text me back. I guess it’s okay as long as he knows how I feel.

  Farrah and Josh sit in the back seat making out. I’m happy she’s over his dance with Julia. I’m so happy for her. This night really is turning out perfect.

  There are twice as many people at Derek’s house that were at the dance. Farrah and I squeeze through the crowd and run upstairs to change into more comfortable clothes.

  Farrah is not smiling like she was just a couple of minutes ago. “Are you okay?” I ask her getting into my jeans.

  “I don’t know.”

  “Are you still thinking about Josh and Julia dancing together?”

  “A little.” She falls back onto the bed with her eyes full of fear. “Oh Jade, I think Julia really wants him back.”

  “Because they danced together?” I sit next to her on the bed.

  “Yes. I mean I don’t know. She’s been around a lot lately. Every time I look he’s talking to her. What am I going to do if she does want him back?”

  “I don’t think you have anything to worry about. He came with you tonight. Besides weren’t you just making out with him?”

  “Yeah, but it felt different. Like he was doing it because he thought that’s what I wanted.”

  “It didn’t look like he wasn’t having fun. Farrah, Josh is with you. Like I said before, you can’t worry about Julia. You just have to enjoy being with him. And if she does go after him we’ll kick her ass,” I say, trying to make her laugh.

  It works. Farrah begins to laugh. “Thanks. I love you.” She leans in and gives me a hug. I really hope I’m right.

  We walk back downstairs and join Austin and Josh who are in a heated discussion with some of the other football players over who has a better defense the New York Giants or New England Patriots.

  Austin drapes his arm around my shoulder holding a red plastic cup in his hand. He says
his point and then looks at me. “Do you wanna get out of here?”

  I love when he asks me that. I nod.

  He takes my hand and leads me toward the back of the house. I know exactly where he’s taking me.

  Minutes later we are sitting on the same stairs we almost shared our first kiss on. The cold ocean air makes it hard to breathe. Austin tucks me into him trying his best to shield me from the cold salty wind.

  “I would say lets go for a walk but it’s way too cold,” he says, planting a kiss on the top of my head.

  “I know.”

  “Maybe this wasn’t a good idea.”

  “No. It was a perfect idea. I’m glad we’re finally alone.”

  He strokes a piece of my hair off my face. “You are so beautiful,” he whispers right before he places his soft lips upon mine. Thank God, I’m sitting because I don’t think my legs would be able to hold me up right now.

  Austin scoops me up and sits me on his lap never allowing his lips to come off mine. He brings his lips down to my neck making me release a loud sigh from the back of my throat.

  “You smell so good,” he says bringing his soft lips back to my mouth.

  Our kissing becomes more intense with each minute that passes. I swear if we were not sitting on the steps we would be laying on the ground. His hand strokes my leg and every so often squeezes my thigh as our tongues wander in and out of each other’s mouth. My body no longer feels cold.

  He pulls away with a bright smile. “You wanna go for that walk on the beach now?” I know this is his way of saying lets go lie down on the sand.

  “How about we visit one of Derek’s bedroom?”

  His grin widens, “Even better.”

  I stand up and give him my hand to help him up.

  “Jade!” Someone screams. I look up and see Farrah standing at the top of stairs crying uncontrollably.

  I run up the stairs with Austin right behind me. “What happened?”

  “Josh.” Sobs “Dumped.” Louder sobs. “Me!”

  “What?! Why?”

  “He’s getting back together with Julia. I told you this was going to happen.”