Because of You

by Maria E. Monteiro

  He reaches over and grabs a condom out of his wallet. I’m so glad I don’t have to search for the one Farrah gave me. I watch him rip the foil open and put it on. My heart pounds like a hammer inside my chest knowing in seconds we will become one.

  He slides himself all the way inside of me making all the love I have for him five times more intense. He looks into my eyes and says, “Baby, I love you so much.”

  “I love you too.”

  After I lay in his arms feeling complete. He kisses the top of my head sending little vibration throughout my body. Even though this was not my first time or even my second it felt like it was.

  I close my eyes and fall asleep tangled in his arms.

  The smell of bacon and eggs wakes both Austin and me. We both look at each other and smile. “Good morning again,” he say placing his lips on mine.

  “Good morning. What smells so good?”

  “I think my brother is cooking.”

  Panic rushes through my body as I try to remember if my moaning or his was too loud. “Was he home...I mean...”

  Austin chuckles. “No. I heard him come in twenty minutes ago.

  “You know you’re really cute when you get embarrassed.”

  “Shut up.” I hit him on the chest.

  “We better get up.” I sit up with the blankets wrapped tightly around my body. I know it was only an hour ago since he seen me naked, but I’m not ready to reveal my body to him.

  “Not yet. Lets stay in bed a couple more minutes.” He wraps his arms around my waist and pulls me close to the warmth of his body. “I just wanna hold you for a little while longer.”

  I reach up and kiss the tip of his nose. A beautiful smile comes across his face.

  “Hey kiddies breakfast is ready,” Blake announces, knocking on the door. “Get your asses out of bed.”

  Austin groans as I pull away from him taking the sheet with me. I grab my bag and enter the bathroom before he can coax me back into bed.

  I take a quick shower, brush my teeth and throw on some clothes in less than ten minutes. Sometimes I even shock myself how fast I can do that.

  I walk into the kitchen to find Austin, Blake, and some girl I’ve never seen before sitting at the table. Is she Blake’s conquest from last night? I would never take Blake for the type of guy who makes breakfast for a girl the next day.

  “Good morning,” I say sitting at the table. I look up at the girl and all of the sudden recognize her.

  She’s the red haired girl they were holding upside down on the keg last night. The last time I saw her she was on the floor laughing her head off as beer dripped down her chin. I have to say she cleans up nicely.

  “Hi I’m Maddy,” she says with a smile that lights up here whole face. She’s one of those girls who are naturally beautiful. Where she can just put her hair up in a messy bun, walk around in sloppy sweatpants, and still manage to look good.

  “Hi. I’m Jade.”

  “Yes, I know. Your boyfriend has been telling me all about you.”

  “I hope they were all good things.” I want to ask her what’s her roll here. Is she Blake’s friend or his last night hook up?”

  “Are you kidding me,” Blake says, getting up and standing behind Maddy. “I don’t know what you’ve done to my brother, but I’ve never seen him like this. The boy is actually in love.” I can’t help but produce a gigantic smile. I love that others can tell how much we love each other.

  “Maybe it’s the same thing Maddy’s done to you,” Austin says smiling exactly the same way I am.

  “Then you are a lucky man.” Blake leans forward just as Maddy looks up and places a kiss on her lips. She’s his girlfriend?

  “They are lucky to have women like us in their lives,” Maddy affirms giving me a wink.

  “So what’s going on in Cisco Beach?” Blake asks taking a bite of his bacon.

  “Same old same old,” Austin answers.

  “I’m really going to miss that place,” Blake states taking a bite of his toast.

  “Why? Are you not planning to come home?” I ask confused.

  Austin opens his eyes wide giving Blake a warning look as he explains, “He means he might not come home for the holidays, because he’s going to Maddy’s.”

  “Yeah,” Maddy quickly adds. “His parents are not too happy I’m taking him with me this holiday.” She leans over, wraps her arms around his neck and gives him a loud kiss on the cheek.

  “Oh,” I say not really sure if I believe them, but then again why would they lie to me? I decided to shrug it off as long as Austin’s in Cisco Beach I’m a happy girl.

  For the next hour we continue to share stories. I learn that Blake and Maddy actually live together. They’ve been dating for two years.

  It’s nice to see another couple who feels the same way Austin and I do. At the same time it makes me sad to think we will never even make it a year before he has to leave.

  Could we make this relationship work with him being so far? I look at him and realize I am going to do everything I can to make it work.

  I’ll fly out to Texas at least once a month if I have to. I have money saved up and I’ll use every penny of it to be with him. This doesn’t have to end. I’m not going to let this end.

  Before I know it we are back on the road heading home. This time the ride is not as fun as the ride to Braden University. We both know when we arrive at Cisco Beach this weekend will be over. I hold his hand the whole way home feeling so much closer to him. After spending the night with Austin I don’t think I can sleep in my bed alone again.

  “I can’t say goodbye to you,” Austin says, pulling up in front of Farrah’s house

  “Me either.”

  “I love you so much it hurts.”

  “What? It hurts?” I’m confused by his words.

  “It hurts to have to be away from you. I mean you’re not even out of my car yet and I already miss you.”

  Tears appear at the rim of my eyes waiting for me to blink. Austin is everything I’ve ever wanted and now he’s making me feel like I’m everything he’s ever wanted too.

  I lean forward and begin to kiss him. There’s no way I’m getting out of this car now. We continue to kiss acting like we are the only ones in the world until we hear tapping on the window. We both stop and see Farrah at my window. She has a gigantic smile on her face as she jumps up and down to keep warm from the brisk winter air.

  I roll down the window. “Sorry to interrupt you guys but my parents are on their way home, and we need to get you home before that,” she says reminding me this weekend is officially over.

  “I better go,” I say looking at Austin and knowing exactly what he meant when he said ‘loving you is painful.’

  “Yeah. I’m gonna go to Derek’s for a while, and then I’ll go home. Do you think I can come over?” he asks with those dimples I love so much.

  “Of course.” I lean in and kiss him one more time before getting out of his car.

  Farrah and I quickly put my things into her car and head to my house.

  “I’m gonna guess you had a good weekend,” Farrah says.

  “It was magical. I never thought I could love someone this much.”

  “Awww. I love to see you this happy.”

  “Thank you. So did anything happen this weekend that I should know about?”

  “Beside Josh and Julia breaking up again.”

  “What?”

  “Yup. And can you believe he had the nerve to call me. He wanted to hang out,” she says with her voice rising with anger.

  “You didn’t. Did you?”

  “Of course not. That asshole blew his chance with me. I will never be anyone’s second choice.” A wicked smile comes across her face. “Instead I hung out with Jesse.”

  “What?” Now I really am shocked.

  “He came down to see Logan and I hung out with them and that girl Becky. We all went out to eat and a movie. It was actually a lot of fun.”

  “Logan went
out with Becky?”

  “Yeah. It was weird to see them together. Logan’s actually a nice guy when he’s not being controlling. We had a really good time. I never knew Jesse was so funny.”

  “So, what’s going on with you two?”

  “Nothing. He’s becoming a good friend. Besides his heart is already taken, and when Logan finds out his best friend is in love with his younger sister all hell is going to break loose.”

  “I know. But then again Logan might understand now that he’s seeing one of her friends,” I say hoping he doesn’t flip out on Summer the way he did on me. I forgave him and I’m glad he’s back in life again, but something is still missing. Hopefully one day we’ll have that friendship again.

  “Anyway tell me about your weekend.”

  Farrah takes the long way to my house so I can fill her in on my entire weekend. I skip the part of our love making, but that’s it. Sharing each detail with her sends me right back to the moment and makes me miss Austin fiercely. It’s crazy how it’s only been a few minutes since I left his side and how much I already miss him. I feel like I haven’t seen him for days.

  As Farrah pulls up in front of my house I spot Mr. and Mrs. Evans speaking to my mother. My heart begins to race so fast I swear it’s going explode. “Did my mom call your house or talk to your parents at all?” I ask Farrah, not taking my eyes off them.

  “Not that I know of.”

  “Oh God, what if they know?”

  “What do you want me to do?”

  “Nothing. You better get out of here. I don’t wanna get you into any trouble,” I tell her right before I step out of her car to face my doom.

  30

  Accepted

  I get out of Farrah’s car afraid to say anything. My legs are shaking so badly it’s hard to take each step. They’re all looking at me with the same angry eyes. “Hey,” I say hoping this isn’t going to be so bad.

  “Get in the house now!” My mom orders without a smile or anything. I’m in so much trouble. Austin’s parents won’t even look my way.

  “Is there something wrong?” I ask pretending I’m not scared to death.

  “I said get in the house now!” I lower my head and walk straight into my house. I don’t think I’ve ever seen my mother this angry.

  I begin to run up to my room. I have to call Austin and warn him. But before I can get half way up the stairs I hear the front door slam. My body freezes right on the eighth step. I can’t move if my life depended on it.

  “That man is a major asshole!” She blurts out in rage. What man is she talking about? Does she know where I spent the weekend or not?

  I slowly pivot around. She has her arms crossed under her chest as her face contours in anger. “What man?” I ask her.

  “Your boyfriend’s father. You know I never liked that man. He’s a controlling asshole. Even when we first met them I told your father I didn’t like him, but your father insisted we all become friends.” She shakes her head in disgust. “And then you had that falling out with their kid and I thought this is a great chance to get them out of our lives, but now you’re dating their son and he...”

  “Mom.” I begin to walk back down the stairs feeling relived this not about my weekend. “What are you talking about? Did Mr. Evans do something to you?”

  “He came over here to basically ask me, no let me correct that, he came over to order me to keep you away from Austin.”

  “What?” My heart comes crashing down onto the ceramic foyer floor. “But why?”

  “Austin got some appetence letters this weekend and he doesn’t want his relationship with you to influence his decisions.”

  “What did you tell him?”

  “I told him I don’t control you like that. And as long as Austin treats you right I will not get involved in your relationship. Lets just say he’s not too happy.” She steps closer and cups her hand on my shoulder. “Jade, are you sure you wanna be with him?”

  “Of course I do. Why would you even ask me that?”

  “It’s just he is going to go away next year, and I’m afraid you’re really going to get hurt.”

  “I’m not gonna get hurt. We’re gonna make it work.”

  “But he’s planning to move to Texas.”

  “Yeah, and?” Why is she trying to ruin this for me?

  “Yeah and? Jade, Texas is not an hour away or even five hours away. It’s across the country.”

  “I know where Texas is. We’ll make it work. And then I’ll be off to school and...”

  “Jade, please do not tell me you’re thinking of going to UT.”

  I don’t answer. I hate to admit that’s exactly what I’m planning. I don’t want her to lecture me on how that might be a mistake, because I really don’t care. All I care about is being with Austin and if I have to follow him to Texas I will.

  “I’m starting to think that maybe Austin’s father is right.”

  “Mom. What? No! I’m not following Austin anywhere. I just wanna enjoy being with him ‘til he leaves. That’s it.” I try my best not to go into a hysteria.

  “Jade, I’m just looking out for your well being. I don’t want you to go through what I went through.”

  “Austin is not dad! He’s not gonna cheat on me!”

  “I’m not saying he will. I just don’t want you to put your dreams aside for him. I did that for your father and look how we ended.”

  “I’m sorry your life is so bad, but that’s not gonna happen to me!”

  “That’s not what I meant!” She takes a deep breath in trying to hold her anger in. “Just do me a favor. Don’t tell Austin his father came to talk to me. You don’t need to give them anymore reason to fuel their fire against you.”

  The only thing I want to do is tell him. I want to warn him about what his father is trying to do, but she’s right. All that’s going to do is cause more unneeded drama. I rather enjoy every minute I have with him. I have to make sure his father does not succeed in tearing us apart.

  Austin stands at my door with a big envelop in his hands and huge smile on his face. “Guess what?”

  I try my best to pretend I don’t know what he’s holding. “What?”

  “Baby, I got in!” He takes me in his arms before I can respond and spins me around making even dizzy.

  “That’s great. Congratulation! I’m so proud of you.” I reach over and give him another hug. I really am proud of him. I know how much this means to him and I won’t ruin this for him with my insecurities.

  “The University of Texas is lucky to get you.”

  “Yeah I guess, but I’m not going there.”

  “What?!” Did he really just say that?

  “I also got accepted to North State. I’ve decided that’s where I wanna go next year.”

  “What!? But babe, all you ever wanted to do is go to UT. Like your brother said you’re first word was longhorns. You can’t go to North State.”

  “Yes I can. I really did like the school. I’m gonna get an education no matter what school I go to, and I wanna go to North State.”

  “But UT is your dream school.” I can’t believe I’m trying to force him to choose Texas.

  “Don’t you see that dream was just a dream without meaning? My only dream now is you and only you. I don’t want what we have to be over.”

  “But it won’t be over if you go to Texas. I’ll wait for you. And I promise I’ll go visit you and when you come home...”

  “That’s just it, I won’t be coming home here.” His gaze falls.

  My stomach clenches with terror. “What do you mean?”

  “My parents are selling the house.”

  “What?” This can’t be happening.

  “My dad’s new job is in Chicago. He’s there all week and comes home on the weekends. My mom decided to stay behind so I could finish my senior year. As soon as I graduate my parents are putting the house up for sale.”

  Every heart valve tightens pulling my heart apart. “How long have you known
?”

  “A couple of weeks.”

  “Why didn’t you tell me?”

  He shakes his head. “I don’t know. I guess I was afraid you would begin to pull away. I’m so scared to lose you again.”

  Tears slip out of my eyes. I’ve been so scared to lose him I never thought he felt the same way about me. “You’re not going to lose me.” I throw my arms around his neck and begin to kiss him. I feel so happy and guilty he’s chosen to stay near me next year.

  I have officially been dating Austin for eight months and they have been the best eight months ever. He makes everything better. Each day with him is like a getting a big gift you’ve been waiting for all your life.

  Ever since our weekend away we haven’t gone one day without seeing each other. My favorite weekends have become the ones I spent at my dads, because Austin comes over while my dad and Trisha are asleep and spends the night. It feels so good to fall asleep in his arms.

  He hasn’t said anything to his parents about going to North State. He said he wants to wait until the last possible minute. If it were up to me he wouldn’t tell them until he was on his way to college.

  Not everything in my life has been perfect. My dad and Trisha officially got married this weekend. I didn’t attended nor did Carrie. I couldn’t. They were upset, but also understood. It’s not that I didn’t really want to be there, it’s more like I didn’t want to betray my mother.

  As much as she wants to prove she’s over everything that day was very hard for her. Everything made her cry. Carrie, my mother, and I instead locked ourselves in the house watching old eighties movies and eating tons of junk food.

  The very next day we all got up, dusted our sorrows away, and pretended everything was fine again.