A Life Without Fear (Life #2)

by C. S. Jacobs

  “I’m not at work, I have a feeling you already knew that, though.”

  “Well, your granddad thought you might’ve taken the day after the news this morning.”

  “Blake convinced me to stay home,” I respond. “He was right, I was a mess, Betty. I thought that I was finally over it all, but I had a serious breakdown.”

  Blake is rubbing small circles on my back as I aimlessly pick up a bottle of wine and claw at the label.

  “I’m glad he was there for you, Angelica. I wish we were closer.” She sounds so sad.

  “Don’t be sad, Betty. I have Blake and Joey here, I’m never alone. Plus, Joey and I will be there with you guys in about three weeks, we can’t wait!” I say excitedly into the phone.

  “Oh darlin’, I can’t hardly wait for you two to get down here.”

  “I can’t wait to get down there either Betty.”

  “Well darlin’ I’ll let you be, I just wanted to check on you. Give me a call soon and let me know what days y’all will be comin’ down here all right?”

  “Of course, I’ll talk to Joey this week about it and I’ll let you know by the weekend. I love you, Betty.”

  “I love you, sweet girl.”

  With that, we hang up. I look over and see Blake’s staring sadly at me.

  “What’s the matter?” I ask him.

  “Nothing.”

  “Nothing my ass. What’s wrong?” I say a little more assertively this time.

  “I was just thinking that I’ll miss you for Christmas. Can you and I celebrate before you leave at least?” he asks hesitantly.

  “Of course, Blake,” I say a little too loudly. “Don’t be ridiculous. We can celebrate right before I leave, we won’t be gone for more than a week.”

  Smiling he kisses me tenderly then we get back to the task at hand. An employee walks up to us promptly and asks us if he could help us in any way. I explain to him we’re shopping for Thanksgiving wines and he leads us around the store picking out what goes best with every course. After thirty minutes, our cart is nearly full of wine. Once again Blake pays for everything and we make our way out the door.

  “Can I take you out to eat?” he asks me.

  “Of course, I’m starving.”

  Without telling me where we’re going, he starts to drive south. The traffic isn’t too bad right now, so the ride is rather smooth. I find myself always getting lost staring at the sea of bodies and yellow cabs outside. New York is a city constantly on the go, always in a hurry; people are out with a purpose. It’s very rare to find a real New Yorker just out walking for a stroll. People tend to forget to slow down and enjoy this beautiful city that we live in. I feel the car stop and look up to see we’re in Rockefeller Plaza. I’ve never been to the restaurant we’ve pulled up in front of, not that it’s a shocking fact. I once read an article that said there were over thirty thousand restaurants in NYC alone. A valet opens my door for me, stepping out into the cold air while I wait for Blake to come around the car and take my hand.

  Brasserie Ruhlmann is a French restaurant with a very welcoming décor. Once Blake requests a table we are immediately taken back, the tables are lined with white table cloths and the chairs are lined with soft red fabric. The walls are lit with small dim lanterns, giving the restaurant a nice soft glow. Once seated a waiter is immediately at our table asking for our drink order. I simply request water as does Blake.

  “I’ve never been here before, what do you recommend?” I ask looking over the menu.

  “For starters I’d recommend the poached artichoke. It’s my favorite thing here,” he says.

  “Oh, I love artichoke. What else?”

  “Their tuna tartare is my mom’s favorite and my dad loves the short ribs.”

  “I love it when you take me places you go with your family. I don’t know why it makes me feel special, but it does.”

  “You are special. I shouldn’t have to take you anywhere for you to feel that way. If, in fact, that’s the only time you feel special around me, I’m clearly doing something wrong,” he states bluntly.

  “Wow. Wow. Wow. Easy tiger.” I wink at him. “You continually make me feel special, Blake.”

  “Good.” He smiles back.

  “I think I’m going to order the salmon that sounds good.”

  “Good choice.”

  “What about you?” I ask curiously.

  “I think I’ll get the short ribs.”

  “Yum, will you let me try your meat?” I ask with a smile.

  “Oh Angelica, you can have my meat whenever you want,” he says in a very deep sexy voice.

  Just then the waiter returns with our water and proceeds to take our order. Once he leaves, we talk some more about Thanksgiving dinner and what I’ll be making.

  “Do you like yams?” Blake asks me.

  “Meh, I don’t hate them, but I don’t love them either. Why do you ask?”

  “My mother used to make these yams with marshmallows on top. For a while, it was only made for Thanksgiving and Christmas, but when she realized how much I loved them, she started making them more often. Once I sat with her from start to finish watching her make it all from scratch if you don’t mind I’d love to make that on Thursday?”

  “Oh my gosh, Blake I’d love that, so sweet. What else did you learn to cook from your mom?” I ask, tilting my head slightly, eager to learn more about him.

  “French toast. She made the best French toast ever. Although, I will say she made her bread from scratch the day before. I mastered the recipe, but I don’t bake my own bread.”

  “Wow, baking her own bread, now that’s truly making it from scratch.”

  “Yeah, her mom was big on making bread so she was a natural. I’d wake up extra early on Sunday mornings and sit with her while she made it. It’s weird because it is such a simple recipe, but I’ve had some pretty bad French toast. She made it special, though, something about the way she cooked it. Anyway, I like to make French toast every now and then.”

  “Will you make it for me one day?” I ask.

  “I would love to. Maybe I’ll even ask my mom to bake a loaf of bread so it can be authentic like.”

  “That would be amazing. I’ve never wanted French toast more in my life.”

  Our food arrives a short time later and we dig right in. The food is amazing, not that I was expecting anything less from Blake’s choice. My salmon is cooked perfectly and the artichoke Blake ordered is to die for. We spend the meal chatting about nothing and everything. I ask Blake about his work and any impending work travels. He informs me in January he’s going to Dubai to work on a business deal. We talk about the ranch in Texas. I try my best to explain it all to Blake, but it’s hard to get every detail into him. I tell him about the horses and the oil. I try my best to explain the handmade wooden sign to him and I promise that I’ll take my camera with me this time and document it all for him.

  After Blake pays the bill we head out to the valet to get the car. While we wait for them to pull his car around, Blake wraps me up in his arms shielding me from the cool wind that’s now blowing through the air. As we stand in one another’s arms, I hear a loud squeal coming from behind Blake. We both turn in time to see an extremely gorgeous blonde heading straight toward us.

  “Oh my God, Blake Thomas Harper is that you?” the blonde asks.

  “Hello Madison, how are you?” Blake responds in a very casual manner, never letting go of me.

  “I’m much better now that I see you.” She stops too close for my liking when she’s in front of us. “Oh, hello,” she says, clearly annoyed.

  “Hello,” I respond politely. I can hear Betty in my ear telling me to kill her with kindness.

  “Madison, this is Angelica, my girlfriend. Angelica this is Madison, she used to date, Jon.”

  “Ah, it’s a pleasure to meet you, Madison,” I respond sweetly, gripping Blake’s side a little tighter.

  “Likewise. Although I’m more than Jon’s ex, we all used to be a ve
ry tight group,” she says with a wink.

  “Well, it was nice seeing you Madison. Have a great day.” Blake places his arm around my waist and pulls me away.

  “Bye Madison!” I yell over my shoulder as we walk to the waiting SUV. “What was that about?” I ask once we’re driving away.

  “Madison is a typical city girl. She grew up rich and acted it. Anywhere Jon and I went when we were younger she’d always be there. When I started becoming well-known, she was all over me, when Jon opened the club she was all over him. She goes where she thinks the money is, I never gave her the time of day so Jon was her target. They dated for a while until Jon was over her. Every now and then she pops up at an event wanting to get together, but I have no interest in her, never have. She knows that, but it doesn’t stop her from trying to play nice.”

  “Ugh, yuck. I knew many Madison’s growing up, only talking to men with money. My mom still is a Madison so to speak. Growing up she’d drag me around to charity ball after charity ball. It was like a game to my mother, we’d spend the whole day at the spa prepping me for an event. I can’t lie, it was my favorite part of growing up, only because that was when we spent the most time together. But once we got to the event I hated it. She would parade me around introducing me to man after man. I knew she wanted me to meet a rich man and marry well, once I told her I just want a nice man, not a rich one and she laughed at me. I learned early on, she and I were two entirely different people. When I wanted to go to college and get a job, she lost her mind. If it wasn’t for my grandfather, I don’t think I would’ve been able to go.” I look up and see we’re in the parking garage. “Enough about her, anyway, shall we go up and organize all the food?” I ask without waiting for a response. I hop out of the car and head to the elevator. Blake is right behind me.

  “Are you okay, Angelica?”

  “Yeah, I just need to shake it off. Talking about my mother always puts me in a mood,” I say honestly.

  “I’ve noticed, how about we never talk about her again?” he asks.

  “In a perfect world we wouldn’t.”

  The rest of the ride up is quiet. I need to shake this off now before it ruins my day. Walking into the kitchen, I notice that the food is all lined up on the counter, everything that needed to be refrigerated is already in the fridge. Jesus, now that’s service.

  “Man, they’re good,” I say to Blake as I open the fridge and notice everything put away nicely.

  “Yeah, they are.”

  Together we work putting stuff in the cupboards. I double check my list to make sure everything is ready.

  “I think we are set, I’m so excited to cook in this amazing kitchen! Tomorrow, I’ll need you to defrost the turkey. Just put it in the fridge. Then Wednesday I’ll come over and put it in a brine and defrost the ham.”

  “Wow, there’s a lot of prep that goes into Thanksgiving dinner, isn’t there?”

  “Oh yeah,” I respond. “I know we’ve been go-go-go all day, but think you could give me a ride home? I should really try and get some work from home done today.”

  “Of course I will, Angelica.” He grabs his keys off the counter. “Let’s get you home.”

  We walk hand-in-hand to the elevator. Once in the parking garage we walk to one of his two-seater sports cars.

  “This car is very manly.”

  “Why, thank you,” he says as he opens the door for me.

  Once we are on the road, I play with his radio stations a little until I find a country song playing. Blake Shelton’s ‘God Gave Me You’ is on. I find it funny how every song I listen to I can relate it to my life. In this case, I relate it to Blake, per usual. Not the singer but the man sitting right next to me. Talk about ups and downs, this man has seen so much of my downs it’s depressing. My life was going so smoothly for so long, then one thing after another and boom here we are now. I am grateful for this man sitting next to me, he’ll never know how much he has mentally and emotionally helped me get through everything. When we turn onto my street, a girl crosses the road in front of us with her dog in tow. Sweet Jesus can this day please stop being so emotional. I haven’t thought about Rodger in a while and now I’m reminded that I’m about to be dropped off at a very empty house. I miss my dog.

  “Don’t be sad, Angelica. Be glad of the years that you had with Rodger,” Blake says from his seat.

  “How did you know I was thinking about him?” I ask curiously.

  “You saw that girl and looked like you were about to cry,” he states.

  “I’m just lonely in my big empty house. I know he was only a dog, but he helped to keep me company.”

  “I understand that.”

  He pulls his car in front of my house and kills the engine.

  “You don’t have to walk me, I’ll be fine. Thank you for the great day, Blake. It was the perfect distraction.”

  “Any time baby.”

  I give him one last kiss on the lips then make my way to my brownstone. Once inside I drop all my stuff on the hall table then head upstairs to change into pajamas spending the rest of the day in my library responding to emails. I love having five days off, but I get anxiety about the work that could’ve been done, so I want to do as much as possible before Wednesday. My phone vibrates next to me and I see it’s a text.

  Blake: Goodnight baby, have a good night. xoxo

  Goodnight? I look at the clock and its 11:00 p.m. Shit, how did that happen? Finishing up an email, I send it off then shut down my computer and start heading up the stairs.

  Me: Goodnight Sugar Plum (still my favorite). Dream of me. xoxo

  I laugh to myself and toss my phone on my bed making my way to the bathroom to brush my teeth and wash my face. When I hop in bed there’s a text waiting.

  Blake: You’re my dream come true Angelica. I don’t need to dream about you when I have the real thing. xoxo

  Me: Ugh Blake, you’re so fucking sweet, I could just eat you up.

  Blake: I’d prefer to be the one doing the eating…

  Me: You sick fucker, go to bed! Night Blake!

  Blake: Good Night, Angelica.

  I know I’ll be having sweet dreams of Blake and the wonderful man that he is.

  Tuesday morning comes with a light sprinkling of snow. It’s very rare that we get snow in November. It will melt away within the hour, but it’s very pretty to watch. Changing quickly into running clothes, I put my hair up in a tight bun then pull on a beanie. Locking my door, and putting on my headphones, I hit the pavement hard. I have all this energy coursing through my body this morning, I want to get good use out of it and have a good run. The sidewalks are a little busier than usual; perhaps people are coming out to take in the light snowfall. An hour later I’m back home and in the shower. I decide on a crème colored pencil skirt with a white top and long dark brown trench coat. A matching pair of crème colored Louis Vuitton’s round out the outfit. Heading out of the front door I spot Adam waiting outside.

  “Good morning Adam,” I call as I near him.

  “Good morning, Angelica,” he answers. Once I’m seated, he closes my door and hurries to the driver’s seat. “Any stops before work this morning?” he asks.

  “Just Starbucks by the office, please.”

  “Of course.”

  During the drive to work, I stare in awe at the city around me. It never gets old, watching the people hustle through the streets, the vendors setting up shop. The snow is already starting to melt from this morning. We arrive a short time later. Adam pulls the car to the curb in front of Starbucks.

  “No need to get out, Adam, I’ve got my door. Thanks for the ride.” I hop out of the car and close the door before he can get a word in. The line this morning is particularly long; the winter will do that to coffee shops. I patiently wait in line and check some emails while I wait. I’ve had my head down the whole time reading an email from Bill, that I didn’t realize I was up to the counter until the barista clears her throat.

  “Oops.” I laugh looking up a
t a girl I’ve never met before. “Sorry.”

  “Yeah,” she responds harshly. Geez, someone is in a bitchy mood. “What can I get you?”

  “Venti skinny vanilla latte with an added shot please.”

  “Five-fifty-five,” she says flatly.

  I hand her my Starbucks gold card, she swipes it then hands in back to me. My drink is ready a short time later, grabbing it I hurriedly make my way across the street and inside the building.

  “Hey Charlie,” I call excitedly while entering, heading straight for the elevators.

  “Good morning Angelica, have a great day up there,” he calls back.

  “I’ll try,” I reply with a smile.

  The office is busy this morning and the low hum of people working is exciting. It means there’s a lot going on. I love it when we have a lot of work. Bill deserves it with the amount of effort he puts into everything that he does. Walking into my office, I place my stuff away then get to work immediately. I’m lost in research for a new company when my phone rings.

  “Hello?” I answer without looking at the caller ID.

  “Hey A.P. meet me for lunch today?” Joey asks solemnly.

  “Of course, is everything okay?”

  “Yeah, it’s fine, I’ll see you soon. Love you.” With that, the line goes dead.

  Odd, something’s definitely up with him. I’ll be dissecting him in a few hours.

  The morning goes by fast, I’ve researched the company enough to write a brief report and have responded to various emails. I’ve met with Alan to go over a current project and I’m feeling great. Yesterday was just another bump in the road of my life lately. But like everything else it’s in the past. My work helps me to focus on what’s important, it makes me happy. At noon, I’m walking out of the building heading over to the restaurant Joey texted me to meet him at. I walk into the small Bistro only a few blocks from my work and spot him right as I enter, sitting at a table smack in the middle of the little restaurant.

  “Hey.”

  “Hey, baby girl,” he responds.