My Own Nightmare (Shattered Lives Book 1)

by Barb Shuler

  “How would everyone like to go home?” he said as he signed a paper on his clipboard.

  “Yes, please.” Derek and I both said and chuckled as I was handed a clipboard with papers to sign. I hurried through them and handed them back. I was beyond ready to go home. I wanted to forget the last two weeks and get ready for the next term of my life. In six months or so we would be having a baby. That was my focus now, making sure our baby was brought into the world. And, stopping the nightmares. But I was afraid I’d have them for a while longer.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

  Whispers all around

  Dani Lynn

  ~ Six Months Later ~

  EVERY DAY THAT has passed since I was kidnapped and subsequently rescued has gotten easier to face. Nightmares and panic attacks notwithstanding, that is. They are getting better. Fewer incidents are occurring, mainly happening at night. I wake up screaming, covered in sweat and completely freaked out. Drew, bless his heart, has been a godsend. He is there every time I need him. Poor Derek, who joined our family after everything that had happened, was equally entrusted in taking care of the crazy, hormonal and very pregnant nutcase.

  Drew got pissy whenever I said I was crazy, but really, it is a symptom of many things. Nicole haunts me every time I close my eyes. I had started seeing Doctor Emily Crandall once a week since I returned home. It was more than worth the time to be able to talk to someone who had no idea who I was. She got to know me from the beginning until now. She was a great cloaked and hidden superwoman amongst us common folk. She made me see so much about myself that I had missed before. After I had been rescued, things continued to unfold that turned our lives upside down. We had no idea how deep the rabbit hole truly went.

  Stephen’s proclamations caused Daddy to have Derek and some dude named Hatcher do some digging into Stephen’s life. The things they found on Stephen… my God. What they found caused poor Carole to pack a bag and leave town. Literally. Within a day of the news of what was discovered, she was on a plane to some island somewhere. Hell, I don’t blame her for that. It’s not every day that you find out your husband of thirty-something years is a psychopath. Seems Stephen had an apartment across the border in Arkansas under another name... And the things they found there… it makes me sick to think about it.

  Apparently he was being paid off by many people to help clear their names, lose files, and to get “not guilty” judgements. Not only that, but he was running a sex ring. Yes, a frigging sex ring. Nicole had been one of the girls he pimped out to the highest bidder. Nothing was off limits! Even crazy ass Nicole didn’t deserve that. He plied the girls with drugs, and that kept them coming back for more. Every dirty little secret that man had was found in that apartment. Names, dates, locations… everything. There was no aspect of the Landry’s lives that was not almost destroyed by what that man had done.

  Katie decided to join her mama after a week of being in town, trying to ignore the stares and whispers. Life in a small town sucks ass. Everyone thinks they have all the answers and know everything. Every new piece of information that came out made its way around the gossip ring like it was the Sunday service collection plate being passed around.

  I, for one, wasn’t having it. The Landry family did not deserve the negative attention they were getting. I let them whisper about me. I could care less, thanks to Doc C. I was the victim, the one done wrong. I would not let my issues now cloud my mind. If I saw them whispering, I went up to them and asked if they needed clarity on something. Usually I got back blank stares, blushed faces, or the best one, the shocked, open mouth gasps followed by “why I never” before they walked away. It made me roll my eyes or crack up. Old gossiping hags. They really need a hobby.

  Today was no different. I hadn’t slept much last night, my dreams making it impossible to close my eyes and not have a complete melt down. So, what did I do when I couldn’t sleep? My pregnant belly and I moved to the living room. I either ate rocky road ice cream and watched TV, or I used the time to write. I wasn’t sure if some of the things I had written over the last few months would ever be published. Seems my ordeal has done things to make my writing, my inner thoughts turn dark - twisted even. It’s sort of scary. I can’t lie. I’d even gone as far as to send the final copy of the last book I finished off to a publishing house. I wasn’t sure if I wanted it to come back with an acceptance letter or not. The darker thoughts that swirl in my head cause me to panic as the memories flow through me of my time with Nicole. She tainted the muse within me. Now, I had to deal with the aftermath in all ways.

  My biggest fear was wondering what I would do if was never able to write like I did before. My suspense writing - which I loved - has turned into something that would rival the best horror movies around. Is that normal? I wasn’t sure, but I knew deep down, I’d never be the same. I was hoping that I could maybe change that. Being out in the spotlight was even further down on my list of things to do. I hated it before, but after Nicole… I never wanted it again honestly.

  But here I was - full on grumpiness, emotions all over the place, and feeling like I was going to puke at any moment - standing in the Principal's office at the school so I could pick up Derek, who apparently was in a fight. Before I jumped to conclusions or decided his fate - at my hands - I wanted the facts. Though in reality, the call from the school had pulled me from my last minute Christmas shopping, which I was grateful for. I hated shopping.

  When Derek and Connor Jacobs walked in I narrowed my eyes at them both. They both had bloody lips and black eyes forming. Derek may be a little nerdy, but the boy could take care of himself. I smirked as the Jacobs boy held his side as he walked in and sat down. This kid, and his whole family, really, were nothing but bullies. His uncle went to school with me, and I swear, he was just hateful. Must be in their blood. Ignorance begets ignorance, I guess.

  “Dani Lynn, I can explain. Honest,” Derek’s eyes pleaded with me as I held up a hand to silence him. One thing was apparent here, Derek would never start a fight. I’d bet my ice cream supply - which was substantial - on that. After all, I did know my kid. Six months teaches you a lot about a person. I knew his personality. Ergo, I repeat, I knew my kid. I moved to give him the once over. His poor face. I shook my head and glared at the Jacobs boy.

  “What has happened here is not only a disgrace to the school, but to the community. We can’t have heathens in our schools causing problems like this. We have a no tolerance rule for a reason, Mrs. Landry.”

  “Excuse me?” I hissed as I turned to glare at their principal, Courtney Jennings. She was a former classmate of mine, who even then, I couldn’t stand. The snotty little heffa really thought she was big shit around here. Well, guess what? She was nothing more than the Mayor’s little lap dog. One that seemed to be in heat anytime he was around. A town this size didn’t need her attitude or that stupid ass Mayor as it was. I took a deep breath to calm myself just as she spoke again.

  “Derek will not be able to return to school for ten days after we return from Christmas break. I could suspend him for the rest of the year, but seeing as there could be extenuating circumstances, we feel it’s best just to teach him that this behavior isn’t allowed.” Her lip curled up at me as she spoke. It took all that I had in me not to slap that look off of her face. Oh, to not be the size of a whale. I’d snatch her baldheaded and choke her with her own hair.

  “Dani Lynn, he hit me first. I swear it. Him and his goons cornered me in the locker room. I’m sure one of them had his phone out, but she won’t check for a video or pictures,” Derek whispered to me. His eyes once again pleaded with me to believe him.

  My ire rose and I took a step closer to the desk this hussy sat behind. I gritted my teeth to keep myself from cursing her out as I spoke. “It seems we need to call the Sheriff’s office.” Her face blanched and I smirked. “I will not have my kid harassed by the biggest asshole in this school. His family may not teach him manners, but I know Derek knows better. He also has our
permission to defend himself when someone twice his size threatens him.”

  “There is no proof of such an act!” she sneered. Oh, you wanna play, lady? Okay. Game on, let’s play.

  “Well then, Miss “I have a stick up my ass” Jennings, what in the hell are you going to do about this?” She went to speak and I cut her off. “No, I’m not done yet. I’ll make it easy for ya, I’ll tell ya what you’ll do. You will either get that bully right there…” I said as I jerked my thumb back at the Jacobs kid, “out of this school, so that my kid isn’t being assaulted, or I will own this school. And you. You have cameras all around. I’m sure if I look hard enough I can find all kinds of things that get ignored while you’re on your knees in Mayor Nash’s office.”

  I raised a brow as her face brightened. Oh, did that hurt her little feelings? My lips curled into a grin. She forgot the people in this town talk shit about everyone. The tint of her skin skipped pink and went straight to red. Yep, I’d hit a button.

  “Ya hear me, lady? If not, I will call my daddy, husband, and brother-in-law to come out and take care of this.”

  “YOU HAVE NO RIGHT!” She jumped up and stalked around her desk, her hand raised.

  I was on the ready. I was not backing down from her skinny little ass. After what happened with Nicole I promised myself that would never happen again. If I was confronted I was fighting my way out, nine months pregnant or not. I’d lay her out like an apple pie on the fourth of July.

  My thoughts were cut off when the office door flew open. She stepped back and straightened her skirt as my father, Sheriff Cartwright, walked in. The scowl on his face made him look like an angry bear. In a way he was, when his cub was in danger, that is.

  “Princess,” he said. His voice held a tinge of anger as he nodded my way. I took a deep breath as I rubbed my belly. The baby was not happy that mama was ready for a WWE kind of smack down. I gave Derek a sideways glance and saw him grinning. That sneaky little shit must have sent Daddy a message. A minute later Jackson came into the room and stood at the door, his arms crossed over his chest. His angry glare matched Daddy’s.

  “Where’s D?” I mouthed to him. He just looked at Daddy and I raised a brow at them both.

  “Sorry to barge in like this, Miss Jennings, but my grandson sent me a message saying he was in trouble at school. I wasn’t sure if my daughter could get here, so I came. Now, can you imagine my surprise when I arrive here I can hear my daughter’s voice all the way outside. Then your raised voice? It sounded like it was getting heated, so we made our way in. Is there a problem here?”

  “Yes, your daughter needs to learn her place,” she muttered as she moved to sit her skinny ass back at her desk. Her attitude only made me want to smack her more. Ugh, maybe I could plead my hormones made me do it? I took a deep breath to calm myself.

  “Gramps, like I told Miss Jennings, Connor and his friends cornered me. He hit me first. Just ask Jake, he had his phone out. I bet he took a pic or video. They do that all the time so they can brag when they hurt someone. He wasn’t expecting me to fight back. Or to know how to fight, I guess,” Derek said shrugging. He then turned to glare at the Jacobs boy.

  “You lying faggot!” Conner snarled as he jumped up, pushing me back so he could get to Derek. Shit happened too fast. Jackson had Connor on the ground, cuffs clinking, and I was grabbed by Daddy. Thank God the old man was fast. I was off balance with all of this belly on a good day. If he hadn’t have grabbed me I would have been on my ass. I took another breath to get my shit together. It was at that moment that Drew walked in, nodding to two kids behind him. His eyes met mine and I smiled a little.

  “You okay, darlin’?” His voice was on edge as he glanced down at the boy Jackson had pinned to the floor.

  I nodded and rubbed my belly. “Fucking peachy.”

  “Princess, language.”

  “Let me go! I didn’t do anything!” Conner snarled as he tried to pull away from Jackson’s grip.

  “Corey, Jake, do you have anything to add to this story?” Miss Jennings walked around in front of her desk and glared at them both.

  “Yes, Ma’am.” They both stuttered out the words and I moved to lean up against the wall. It was time to get down to the truth.

  <><><><>

  By six o’clock I was restless and in need of chocolate. Derek and I headed for the corner grocery store. It was a cold night, but not too bad. There were small patches of snow on the ground but it was starting to dissipate. I was glad. That shit was slippery, and for someone the size of a whale, it was no fun. I rubbed my face with my glove covered hands and sighed.

  “You okay, Dani Lynn?” Derek’s voice sounded worried.

  “Yeah, just frigging tired. I didn’t sleep last night…”

  “I know…” his voice was soft as he pulled the door open for me and we headed into the grocery.

  I made my way to the back of the store where I stared at the pints of ice cream, trying to decide what I wanted. I closed my eyes for a moment only to snap them open when I heard her voice. No, she was not here. She was in a nut house somewhere. God, please no. I looked into the glass of the door and saw her. Her eyes bored into mine. I jerked and screamed. As I tried to turn, I slipped on the wet floor and went down. My heart was racing, and my breathing was ragged as I tried to crawl backwards from the woman before me. She just stood there, staring at me. I closed my eyes as the tears rolled down my cheeks.

  “Please, not again. God, keep me and my baby safe.”

  “Dani Lynn? What? What is it?” Derek’s panicked eyes met mine and I pointed. When I looked up again there was no one there. The aisle was empty. It was then that a sharp pain slammed into me.

  “Son of a fucking bitch…” It felt like the ones I had been having off and on since the meeting in the Principal's office. My stress level had been kicked up again. God. Was I losing the baby?

  “Dani Lynn, you’re… you’re bleeding or something…”

  I looked down and my dark grey sweats were darkening. I cursed as the shaking started again. I was shaking my head. This could not be happening here. Not now. For fuck’s sake. I gripped the side of my belly as I tried to get up. “D-Derek.. c-call… Drew... Baby… coming...”

  I screamed as pain hit me hard. My body jerked. Fucking hell. I was trying to remember the breathing techniques I had learned in Lamaze, but fuck you very much, that was not happening. Deep breath in, let it out. I could feel a pressure down there. My hoo-ha felt like it was being ripped in two. No, no, no!

  “Drew’s coming. He’s still at the station,” Derek said as he took my hand. “You can squeeze my hand. I can take it.”

  My heart squeezed as I reached up and brushed my fingers against his cheek. “You’re gonna be a kick ass big brother.” I said trying to breathe through the next contraction.

  “Damn straight!” he said.

  I heard the grocery store’s door open and I heard Drew’s voice. “Dani Lynn!”

  “Drew, we’re back here!” Derek yelled.

  “Oh God, baby. What happened?” Drew said as he fell to my side. I grabbed his shirt and tried to sit up more.

  “Get me to Doc G’s now. This baby is coming. I think I need to push….”

  “Shit. Derek, go get the door for me,” Drew spoke to him as he moved to scoop me up. I whimpered as I buried my face in his neck. “Hold on, darlin’, I got ya.”

  “You’re gonna throw your back out... “I laughed a little through the pain.

  “Shut it, woman.”

  I took a deep breath as he moved us out to his patrol car. I saw lights down the road and whispered, “Daddy’s coming.”

  “You thought he was gonna miss this?” Drew said as he sat me down in the seat and ran around to get in the driver side. With Derek in the back, we headed down to Doc G’s, on the opposite side of town. I heard Drew on the phone with him, but I was trying to concentrate on the breathing part… this really sucked.

  CHA
PTER TWENTY-SIX

  And Baby Makes Four

  Drew

  GETTING A CALL from a very freaked out Derek was not how I planned on ending my twelve hour shift tonight. I wanted to go home, eat, and curl up with my girl so we could watch some TV. It was a routine we were still perfecting since some nights she still had trouble sleeping. Or when she did get to sleep, she woke up screaming and freaking out. It broke my heart. Every tear she shed ripped a new hole in my heart. But, she was healing. We’d gotten her in to see a counselor or therapist, whatever the title, the job was the same. She was working Dani Lynn through her fears, and helping to make her life a bit easier. Do I wish I could do that? Hell yes, but I was too close to it.

  Thank God, I already had the next few days off to prepare for the baby’s birth. It seems the baby got tired of waiting, though. I had called Gabe before I left the station so he would know what was going on. He said he’d meet us at the Doc’s house. I wasn’t truly prepared to find my girl on the floor, her pants darkening from what I later found out was her water breaking. I knew when she said the baby was coming that she was serious. The wide eyed look I got made me jump into action. I was scared. I am man enough to admit that. I literally had my world in my arms as I carried her and our soon-to-be-here baby to the car.

  We made it to the Doctor’s house, which was also his office, in the nick of time. Gabe helped me get her inside and into the exam room. Doc G had no sooner gotten her up on the table and covered with a sheet before she was crying out and he was telling her to push as hard as she could. The baby had already started to crown. Ten minutes later we had a beautiful baby girl laying against Dani Lynn’s chest. We let her rest a bit and get cleaned up while the Doc did everything he needed to… and let me just say, I learned a lot about childbirth that no amount of research or books can tell you. And the blood, and just gross stuff… I may never be the same again.