My Own Nightmare (Shattered Lives Book 1)

by Barb Shuler

  After Doc examined both my girls again, he gave us the all clear to take them home. Dani Lynn had been so exhausted that I’m not even sure she realized we were home. I woke her a few hours later because our princess was hungry. Dani Lynn had decided that breast feeding - no matter how tedious the task would be - would be best for the baby. I told her as she held our baby to her that Gabe was staying with us for the next day or so. I already knew that day or so would be longer, even though his house was only two blocks away. I couldn’t say I blamed him. My girls would have a constant vigil of helpers ready to do their bidding between Derek, Gabe and myself.

  Dani Lynn and I had already picked out names for our daughter, as a tribute to the man who was always there for both of us and my sister. Why them? Well, as I said, Gabe had always been there for both of us. By giving our daughter his middle name, we hoped to honor the man who had done so much for both of us. Without Katie’s pushing we’d never have taken that first step. Then again, maybe we would have, but there is no leaving her out.

  I had always loved Dani Lynn, but I didn’t think I was good enough for her. When things between us started to become more than friendship and we got to talk uninterrupted we learned a lot about each other. Crazy how that works. You can grow up around someone, but you never truly know them until you take that step. Get in their business and make it your business. I know her secrets and she now knows mine. No one’s life is perfect, after all.

  “Y’all come in here. I know we are all tired and ready to crash…” I said as I sat beside Dani Lynn on the edge of the bed. “Gabe, Derek, we would like you to officially meet Tyler Katherine Landry. Tyler, this is your gramps and your bubba.” I took her from Dani Lynn and held the pink bundle out to Gabe who was sitting in the chair beside the bed.

  “Tyler, huh?” he whispered as he kissed her little pink cheeks. “I like it. It’s a strong name for a strong girl.” His lips curled into a smile and I couldn’t help but wink at Dani Lynn, who had tears rolling down her cheek. “You look just like your mama.”

  I squeezed Dani Lynn’s hand as we watched both, Gabe and Derek fawn over our newest arrival. All was well in the Landry house tonight.

  <><><><>

  It was a new day, and our first official day as parents. I’d helped Dani Lynn get cleaned up and while she fed the baby I made a few phone calls. Ma and Katie were still at the family home in Hawaii. They’d been making the island house their home since everything happened here. I didn’t blame them. We all handled things differently. Though I suspected they’d be home sooner now since the baby was here. When I hung up with them - Katie’s shrieks still had my ears ringing - I was all smiles as I walked into the kitchen. My nose followed the smell of bacon and coffee until I stopped in the doorway and grinned. Derek was manning the stove as Gabe sat and drank from a mug that said “Gramps on Duty”. I could not hold back the snort that came out.

  “Gramps on Duty, huh?” I raised a brow and he gave me a shit eatin’ grin.

  “My new grandson loves his gramps, what can I say? I am kind of a bad-ass, ya know.”

  I just shook my head at him, and made quick work of getting myself a cup of coffee. I stole a piece of bacon from the plate and moved to sit at the table. “Damn, that’s good.” My stomach growled - loudly - at that moment and we all chuckled. “You two were a big help last night. Thank you,” I said, before finishing off the piece of bacon.

  “You didn’t think I was going to miss my grandbaby being born, did ya?” Gabe’s eyebrow cocked up and I shook my head.

  “No, but it’s still nice to know there was someone there with a level head. Dani Lynn was acting weird at first. She looked... scared but it wasn’t just the baby. I think something else was on her mind.” My eyes flicked to Derek’s as he stayed unusually quiet. I glanced back at Gabe as he turned to look at Derek then back at me. I took another sip of coffee before I spoke again.

  “D? You got something on your mind, kid?” I hated to make him close up more - which he’d only done a few times before - but I needed to find out what was going on.

  I saw his shoulders slump and when he turned to face us he was pale. His eyes were glassy and I could see he was trying to form the right words. Gabe got up and moved to wrap an arm around his shoulder and when Derek curled into his Gramps I knew this was going to be bad. By the age of sixteen this kid had been through so much. I felt my heart clinch. He was a good kid; no, correction, he was a great young man. He was smart, with more talent in one finger than most of the people in this town - myself included - but he was broken too. I think that is why he and Dani Lynn got along so well. They just understood each other.

  I sat my mug down and laid my hands on the table. “It’s my fault,” Derek sobbed. “She was so stressed out. She…” he took a deep breath and rubbed at the tears on his face, brushing them off. “I’m sorry. I didn’t see it happening until she was freaking out. I tried to keep her from falling, but... but... the darkness got her again. I saw the look on her face in that glass. She- she saw her again. She looked so scared. I’m so sorry...”

  I got up and moved to him. When Gabe stepped aside I took Derek by the shoulders and made him look at me. “You listen to me, kid, this was not your fault. Not one damn thing has been your fault. You’ve been a godsend to us all.” I pulled him into me for a bear hug and clapped a hand on his back before stepping back. “Remember, kid, none of this is your fault. No matter what happens.”

  “My fight had her out of sorts….”

  “Derek, that was not your damn fault either. She was only pissed that your principal has the brain capacity of a turtle.” I gave him a look. “She is proud of you for standing up for yourself, so am I.”

  “Me too,” Gabe said as he sat and watched us.

  “But, that being said, I couldn’t tell you yesterday how proud of you I was. You didn’t let that asshole back you into a corner without a fight.” I smirked as Gabe chuckled. “We’ll work more on your jabbing though, that was kind of sad…” I chuckled as he pushed me back. “Hey, gotta make sure you hold up to that Landry name, kid.”

  “How about we don’t corrupt my grandson. You and your brother did enough of that shit to last a lifetime,” Gabe said, glaring at me.

  “Yeah, sure old man, anything you say,” I teased.

  “He has a point, you know?” My head jerked up as I heard Dani Lynn’s soft voice coming from behind me. I was moving to her before she could stop me.

  “Woman, you are supposed to be resting, not up and stalking around the house,” I made a face at her as I spoke.

  “Andrew, don’t start your woman shit. I had to pee and I need coffee. Like, a gallon of it. Maybe two,” she said as she gingerly moved to the table and sat down. “And bacon, good God, I’m starving.”

  “Seems someone is still moody,” Gabe said under his breath. I smirked as she glared at him.

  “Old man, I love ya, but I just pushed-”

  “Princess, do not finish that sentence.” His face went fierce and I snorted when Dani Lynn winked at me. “I don’t know where you get that sass from.”

  “She gets it from you, Gramps. Here Dani Lynn, I got your coffee, bacon is coming right up. You want eggs, too?” Derek asked her as he sat the mug in front of her. “You can only have a couple of cups. I googled it last night to make sure.”

  I cracked up at the look on her face and quickly kissed her cheek. “I just fed her. We should have a few hours, so a couple is good for now. I guess.” She grumbled but went on to drink from her mug.

  “Come on, let’s get breakfast moving faster. Need help, kid?”

  “Nope, I’m done,” Derek said, turning to set two plates on the table, then grabbed two more.

  When he was seated we all held hands and said grace. Then it was every man, or woman for him or herself. As we ate I looked over at my wife and saw her looking towards Derek. When she reached out and took his hand I smiled. She really was an angel. “What happened yesterd
ay, that wasn’t your fault in any way. Okay?”

  He nodded and gave her a little smile. “Okay.”

  “Now, Andrew Landry, you will not encourage Derek to be a troublemaker like you and Jackson were. He’s a good boy, can we keep him that way?”

  I choked as I tried to laugh and swallow at the same time. “Who are you and what have you done with my wife?” I cocked a brow and she poked me in the arm with her fork.

  “Don’t be an ass. If he learns to fight, that will just encourage him to fight the assholes of this world,.” she said, huffing at me.

  “Oh, this coming from the woman who was ready to throw down in the principal's office yesterday morning?” I went wide eyed and tried to keep from laughing when her cheeks pinked.

  “That was different,” she snarked.

  “How?”

  “Cause my kid was being bullied. I may not have given birth to him, but Derek is mine. Come hell or high water, no dumbass, bigoted or plain ole asshole is gonna treat him like garbage. Or call him fucking names. I wanted to slap the taste out of that little shit’s mouth. Stupid fucking rednecks. None of them have any goddamn manners. Or common sense. They give all rednecks a bad name.” I stared at her as she ranted and the silence around us when she stopped to take a breath was... odd to say the least. “What?”

  It was then that Derek busted out laughing. Gabe and I followed right behind him. Oh, my girl. She was a force to be reckoned with lately. I truly hoped that emotion and passion stayed with her. She had overcome so much, it was like a new side of Dani Lynn was born. One that was a tiger, compared to the shy little kitten she had been. I leaned over and kissed her softly, my smile so wide my cheeks hurt. “I love you, Mrs. Landry.”

  “I love you, too, Mr. Landry,” she grinned and looked around the table. “I’m buying the old retirement home at the edge of town. I’m opening a center there… a crisis center. No matter the trouble people will be able to come there for help. No one will be turned down. There is too much hate going on in this world today. It’s time for someone to stand up for the little people. So to speak.” She blurted out. We all exchanged a look as she continued.

  “I’ve got it all set up, sponsors lined up… that is, if me pissing off that skank didn’t turn a few of them away. Not that I give a shit. I’m tired of stupid people. I want to help, and I am going to do what I can. Doc Crandall is coming aboard to do what she can,” she gave us all a look and I nodded. That was unexpected but, the look in her eyes said it all. She needed this. I’d always give her what she needed.

  “You need anything, you let me know, Princess, I’ve got your six. I’m sure Drew and Jackson do as well,” Gabe said grinning.

  “Ten-four on that,” I said grinning.

  “Can I set up the electronics?” Derek said, wide eyes glued on Dani Lynn. The excitement was written all over his face. He was like a kid at Christmas.

  “Well, duh, kiddo. It’s you and me in a few weeks. I will walk you through it all. The what goes where and all of that. There will be a helluva lot of wires and boxes and we all know I am not as adept with that as I should be.”

  “I’m proud of you, Princess.”

  “Me too, baby. I always knew you were an angel in the making,” my gaze met hers as I held her hand and winked.

  “To a new beginning,” Gabe said holding up his mug. We clinked glasses and went back to breakfast. Seemed today was a new start for more than us as a family. Today was a new beginning for so many people. We knew they were out there, and now they had a place to come to. No judgement. No turning them away. A place of hope, love and a new way to start over.

  Epilogue

  ~ One Year Later ~

  I WALKED INTO the house and was greeted with a broad smile from the man I love more than air. The man I married while dealing with the after effects of being kidnapped, tortured and held prisoner for twelve days. He asked me months before that, but I was scared he’d change his mind with how messed up I was. But, like usual, he proved he was the only man for me. The thoughts I’ve been fighting all day set my heart to flutter at the sight of him. He was wearing a pair of loose fitting jeans that hung low on his hips and a tight black t-shirt. Yes, Deputy Andrew Landry looked like he had just walked off the runway at a GQ fashion show. His smoldering brown eyes met mine as I let the bags in my hand drop and ran to him. Strong arms wrapped around my body as our lips crashed together in a fiery embrace.

  Drew was the one I had always longed for. Since that day I first saw him in leathers, I knew he was going to be my undoing. In a good way, of course. I mean, come on, the way he filled out the leather jacket and those pants that night. That leather been tugged around his muscled body. God, that was a memory that would make my thighs rub together every day. Talk about an “Oh my God”... no, wait, and “Oh, my lady bits may explode” moment. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve always had a thing for him. He’s always been one deliciously sexy man but, damn, it was leather. It was worse than the reaction I used to have to him in his football jersey. Put him in a jersey and I was hot under the collar, but put him in leather… and I lose all brain function.

  He made my body betray my good common sense no matter how hard I tried. I could not escape the torment of his seduction. It was a drug. I craved it and without it I would curl up and die. His lips encased mine harder as he turned me and pressed me against the wall. He was breathing heavily, as was I. He pulled away from me and grinned. Eight hours away from him was too fucking long.

  “What was that for, Darlin’?” His eyes met mine as I tried to catch my breath. I was speechless at first. It wasn’t until his hand came up and caressed my cheek that I was able to blink and answer him.

  “I missed you is all. I needed to feel your arms around me.”

  I was rewarded with that award winning grin that made me weak in the knees. How had I gotten so damn lucky? That would be something that I was going to be asking myself for years to come. Our bond had been forged under the worst of circumstances, but that had turned into our saving grace. As he lowered me to the floor I took a shaky breath and ran my hands down his chiseled chest. What was it that had me unable to say no to him? Oh, well, that was simple. He loved me for me. No matter how broken I was. No matter how I was mentally. My bad days would test the willpower of a saint, yet he was the one and only person that could calm me from a nightmare. He was the one that could break the moods that tainted my sanity. It was him. He was my savior in so many ways. I wasn’t even sure he saw it most days.

  It had been two years since the day my life started to change. And I thanked God every day that he had been there. Without him it would not have turned out the same way. I looked up at him through my lashes and grinned, nuzzling my cheek into his open palm. His thumb trailed along the blush spreading over my skin.

  “How was your day? Any new... recruits at the center?” he asked, his voice low.

  “It was... busy.” I said nodding, not sure I wanted to answer the rest of that. We had new “recruits” as he called them, at the center… but these ladies trusted me to keep their secrets. It was Drew, I knew he’d never say a word, but I took what I did seriously. One of the new recruits… well, she was a woman on the wrong side of something bad. It wasn’t my place to say who or what. I only hoped we could help her stay safe.

  This was the best thing I could have done with my life after being kidnapped, tortured and almost killed by a psycho. No, I’m not crazy. I know that sounds like I said I was glad that shit happened to me. I hated it, but at least something good did come out of it. I opened a crisis center on the outskirts of town, for anyone who needed it. No matter the situation, no one was turned down. It was my way of working through my issues - like PTSD, which, by the way, sucks ass - and I was able to share my own story with others that would get it from my point of view. Doctor Emily Crandall was not only the best psychotherapist money could buy, but she was a woman with a heart of gold. She listened to the women that came in. She helped them a
dapt and as a family -which is what it felt like - we could all make a difference to each other. “A few new faces, but that is all I can say, baby. How was your day?”

  He sighed and kissed my cheek. His lips brushed my skin as he spoke. “Fine.”

  “Just fine?” I said as I tilted my head.

  He looked down at me with a slight frown, like he was thinking before he spoke.

  “Well, it seems our daughter has a fever, again. Doc G said it wasn’t anything bad, possibly a cold. So I’ve had a cranky girl in my arms almost all day.”

  “Why didn’t you call me? Where is Derek?” I huffed at him. “You should be used to having a cranky girl in your arms daily, Drew,” I teased. He looked at me and shook his head.

  “Dani Lynn, don’t tease about that. You’re needed at the center, and I had it all under control.” He leaned in and kissed my nose. “You’re not cranky all the time.” He leaned back a bit from me. “As for Derek, he’s at the station, geeking out over the new computer system Gabe agreed to let him install…”

  “I’m sorry, baby, but you know it’s the truth. I’m sure she will be fine. I trust Doctor Grant. He is a great man and doctor. He might be old as shit, but we can’t be picky, right?” I blinked as the last part hit me. “You mean Daddy actually agreed to buy that system?”

  “New computers too,” he chuckled. “I know Doc G is a good man, baby. He nursed us both through so many illnesses and broken bones. It’s like the man is part of the family.” Drew’s voice was wistful as he looked down at me.

  “So true. And, let’s not forget he is the one that brought Tyler into the world.” I said, giggling at the look of horror on his face.

  “Thank God. I am ever so grateful I was able to get you to his office that day. I don’t know nothin’ ‘bout birthin’ no babies.”