More

by Lisa Shelby

  After Emily gets Ireland set up in her room with all of her new presents and a movie, Cami pours some wine and Cheryl asks if I would rather she leave. I tell her that I’d like her to stay. She’s like a second mom to me and she deserves to know my secret.

  Two hours later and it’s all out there. The three of them now know everything about my childhood, my time with Kevin and my friendship with Mick. There were tears. There were angry words. Most of that anger was towards my father and a little towards my mother for staying. There were also words of anger for not trusting my best friends with the truth. I know that they think they could have helped, but I really don’t think that’s true. There wasn’t anything that anybody could have done without a public scandal. There was also some anger towards Mick, too. Emily is pissed that he never told her about the night of my dad’s stroke or about his bad vibes about Kevin.

  In the end, it feels good to get everything out. No more secrets from those that matter most to me. The only thing that they haven’t made too many comments about is Mick. Emily doesn’t seem mad but she does seem concerned. Cami…well, she seems shocked.

  “So, what you’re saying is that Mickey Jacobs…lifelong playboy…king of the one-night stand…wants a relationship…with you? No offense to you, Alex and Cheryl, I know that he’s your son but I’m just keeping it real.”

  “I understand, Cami. It’s true that my son has never been in a relationship and has never thought that he wanted to commit. The thing to remember is he is a good man, and I’ve always known it would take the right woman to help him find his way.” Cheryl sends a small smile and a wink my way.

  “You’re right, Cheryl. Mick is a good man. Look how he’s stepped up for Emily and Ireland, and he’d do anything for any of us. The thing is, I don’t want Alex to be an experiment. Alex deserves more than to be something that Mick tries out.”

  Emily speaks up and says, “Cami, you do realize that Alex is sitting right here. Why don’t you ask her how she feels about Mick?”

  Cami’s startled for some reason when Emily calls her out, but she recovers and says, “Sorry, chica. I didn’t mean to talk about you like you’re not here or to hurt you. You just deserve the best, and I would hate to have to kick Mick’s ass if he hurt you. Tell us how you feel.”

  How do I feel?

  Looking Cami straight in the eye, I continue telling my truth. I feel safe here and it means a lot to me that she cares, that they all care. “The truth is…I don’t know, Cami. I’ve been in love with Mickey since we were kids. He was always my secret crush. When he showed up that night at my house, I was mortified. But not only did he stay with me the whole night, he kept my secret. The night I spent with him a year later was one of the best nights of my life. Sorry, Em. Sorry, Cheryl. I know you don’t want to hear about that, but it’s the truth.”

  Emily and Cheryl look like their heads are about to explode listening to my confession.

  “Now, years later, he’s become one of my best friends. I was so afraid of ruining that friendship by taking things to the next level that I let Kevin take over my life. Then, just like before, Mick is there to rescue me. Not only does he rescue me, but without knowing it, he tells me that he wants to make all my childhood dreams come true. He wants to be with me. That dream becoming reality…it scares me almost more than anything my dad or Kevin have done to me. I don’t want that dream to end in heartbreak. It’s not worth it. He’s too important to me now. I don’t think I can take that risk. He may not know it but he already has my heart. I just want him to keep it in one piece.”

  Because I haven’t taken my eyes off of Cami during my little confession I don’t realize that Emily’s eyes still look like they are about to pop out of her head until I look over to see why everybody is so quiet.

  Emily and Cheryl stare over my head in stunned silence. Slowly, I turn my head and much to my dismay…Mickey and Jonathan stand behind me. Mick has a mixture of emotions crossing his face. One of those emotions surprisingly, is smugness.

  Without missing a beat, he says, “Sorry to interrupt, ladies. Alex, I hope you don’t mind but I packed you a bag. You’re not going home tonight. We need to be sure that we get a security system installed at your place. Because of the holiday it’s going to be a day or two before that can happen. I texted you but didn’t get a reply so I took it upon myself and asked your neighbor Jean, to take Blazer for you. I hope that’s okay? I wasn’t sure how he would get along with Frank. Might be a little safer with Jean.”

  I can’t believe he’s letting what he overheard slide. Since when does Mick not have something to say? And why does he look so smug. It’s actually starting to piss me off.

  “Sorry, I didn’t see your texts. Thank you for doing all of that. I’ll call Jean and make sure that she’s fine with taking Blazer.”

  “No problem. I’m gonna put your stuff in Em’s room for now and we’ll figure the rest out later.”

  Now that it’s all out there I don’t have to be afraid of everybody hearing Mick’s answer when I ask him what happened at my place.

  “Alex, I don’t think he’s going to bother you again. He’s in custody, but we’re gonna get that security system installed just to be safe. You should have had it all along. That goes for you too, Cami. If you don’t have it, we’re getting it installed. I would think after what happened to Ireland’s room we all would have been smart enough to make sure that all of you girls were protected. We didn’t do that and that’s my bad. We’ll have this remedied by the new year though. That, you can count on.”

  “Mick, what did Kevin want?”

  “Don’t you worry about it. Kevin won’t be a problem in the future.”

  “Mick! I’m not a child! What did Kevin want?” I yell, as I push my way up from the table and stand in front of him.

  With his arms crossed in front of him he says quietly. “You don’t want to know, Alex.”

  “Mick…” I start but am interrupted by Emily.

  “Mick, you need to tell her. After everything she’s told us today…” Emily stands beside me and grabs my hand and gives it a squeeze. “She can handle it.”

  I can see him warring with himself and just when he’s about to speak Ireland comes running out of her room. “You’re back! Yea! Mommy, can I have a snack?”

  Jonathan scoops her up and says, “Let’s get you back in your room. I’ll get you some fishies to tide you over before dinner and then we’ll play with your new toys. Deal?”

  “Deal, Jonafon.”

  “Okay, Princess. I’ll be right there. You go get ready for me.” As he passes by Jonathan gives me a look that says he’s sorry and that I’m not going to like what I’m about to hear.

  “Thanks, baby,” Emily says to Jonathan still holding my hand.

  “Why don’t we sit down?” Mick says.

  “I don’t want to sit, Mick,” I say indignantly.

  Cami and Cheryl are now standing and Cami takes my other hand.

  “Well, I need to sit down.” He sits down on the couch and puts his hands together and drops his head between his shoulders and lets out a heavy exhale. He brings his head up and looks me in the eye and says, “Alex, that fucker was going to try to take you and God knows what else.”

  “What do you mean take her?” Emily asks, so I don’t have to.

  “He was wearing gloves, which wouldn’t be odd in December except…we found things…in his trunk.” He puts his head down and then on a growl he pushes himself up. With venom in his voice he says, “Duct tape, zip ties, large garbage bags and chloroform. We know he was planning on drugging you with the chloroform and we can only guess what his plan was from there with what he had in his trunk. Needless to say, I think we might just owe your life to Jean. If she hadn’t reached out…fuck…I don’t even want to think about it.” Not caring that Cami and Emily are holding my hands he barrels into me and takes me in his arms and hugs me with everything he’s got.

  The girls step aside and I wrap my arms around his st
rong back.

  He’s trembling.

  My superhero is trembling.

  I try to step back to look at him but he won’t let me. He just holds on even tighter.

  “Hey, it’s okay, Mick. I’m here. I’m safe.” I squeeze him back and repeat. “I’m here.”

  He finally steps back and his eyes are red and full of unshed tears. The moment he sees my shocked expression at seeing his emotions. His tears seem to evaporate and the stoic man I have come to know is back. “You okay?”

  “What? Yeah…at least I think so. I don’t think it’s quite sunk in yet. I don’t know how I can ever thank Jean enough.”

  Emily approaches and asks. “Do you need a minute to take this in? What can I do for you, Alex?”

  Feeling the strength from the four people surrounding me with love, I say, “You know what, I don’t need a minute. I wanna know what I can do to help with dinner. I know that I’ve thrown a monkey wrench in everything and I want to help in any way that I can.”

  Emily looks at her brother with a small smile and says, “See, I told you she could handle it.”

  Cheryl steps up, puts her arm around my shoulder, gives me a motherly look and says, “Alex, honey. I’ve been working on dinner all day. There isn’t much to do. We do need to eat sooner, rather than later though so Jonathan and the girls can head to Devon and Gabby’s for dessert. Come with me. You can help set the table.”

  With that we set the table and have an enjoyable meal with no mention of abductions, abusive fathers or being an experiment to Mick. After we eat, Emily, Ireland and Jonathan leave for Devon’s and Cami and Cheryl both head home. Cami says that I can come stay with her but Mick shuts that down real fast. He blames her lack of security but I know better. He wants some time alone after our crazy day. I wouldn’t mind that right about now either.

  After saying goodbye to his mom he shuts the front door, locks it and then turns around with his back pressed to the door. His gaze penetrates right to my heart as he speaks a thousand words without saying a single thing. He’s glad we’re alone. He needs to decompress after everything that happened with Kevin and I see a fire. A fire that says he knows exactly how he’d like to decompress.

  From his spot against the door he lets out a one-word growl. “Alex.”

  As soon as my name crosses his lips he pushes off of the door and with an intensity I have never seen from him before he crosses the room. One hand goes around my waist and pulls my body flush with his as his other hand gently cups the back of my head. “I know we aren’t on the same page but I need this for me. I’m asking you to please let me take this right now. Please Alex?”

  “What do you need, Mick?”

  “You. In my arms. I don’t need sex, but I do need you in my arms and if you don’t mind…I’m going to kiss you right now.”

  “Mick…”

  I don’t get to finish my sentence as the softest, gentlest kiss I have ever felt touches my lips. I can feel all of his emotion in this kiss. It feels like he’s worshiping me as his lips caress mine. He’s gentle, careful and slow. He now holds my head with both of his hands tangled in my hair as he ever so lightly bites on my bottom lip. I hear myself let out a small whimper and this fuels his fire. His tongue seeks entry as it traces my upper lip and I part for him. Our tongues find one another and are in a beautiful dance of passion. A dance that is filling me with everything I never knew I needed. I know, that in this moment, I am experiencing the most perfect kiss of my life.

  He brings one of his hands to my face, strokes my jaw with his thumb and then slowly drags his hand down my neck and to my chest. He stops his hand over my heart and then much to my dismay removes his lips from mine. I’m relieved when his lips continue their journey down my neck. He stops his kisses and is almost nuzzling my neck when I hear him moan. “Still my favorite spot.”

  His favorite spot?

  His lips find my collarbone and his tongue outlines it and then he drags his lips back up my neck and to my ear. “Sweet Thing, I want nothing more than to make love to you all night long, but I know now is not the time. I know today has been emotional for both of us and I have no intention of taking advantage of that. Thank you for giving me this. You have no idea how much I needed it.” I start to pull away so that we can continue the conversation but he doesn’t let me. Instead he pulls me tighter and buries himself deeper into my neck and says, “Not yet, baby. Just let me have this moment.”

  I don’t even know what to say. No matter how many times he tries to tell me, I still cannot believe that he feels this way about me. All I can do is hold on as long as he needs me to. I need this moment just as much as he does. If only I was strong enough to admit to him that I need this too. Hell, I wish I could admit it to myself. It’s so easy for him to just put it all out there. A man who has never done this before. Why can’t I?

  CHAPTER

  FIFTEEN

  King of the World

  Alex

  “Oh, Auntie Alex, I can’t wait for you to see my new room! It’s the most bootiful room you’ll ever see!” Ireland says as I help Emily pack up her room.

  I couldn’t be happier for Emily and Ireland. Watching the two of them with Jonathan melts my heart. The three of them were meant to be together and I’m so glad that Jonathan has asked them to move in. He didn’t just ask them to move in but he made a room fit for a princess for Ireland. He also redecorated his bedroom and office just for Emily and has done all he can to make his house their home. Now all he needs is the two of them home with him and that’s just what’s happening today. Nobody deserves this more than they do, and I must say Jonathan is a great addition to our little family that we’ve put together over the years.

  “I can’t wait to see it, Ireland! You’ll have to give me a tour when we take your things over there. Are you excited to move?”

  “So excited! I’ll miss Frank and Uncle Mickey, but I will see them lots still. Plus, I get to live with Frances! Frances and Frank are best friends so we’ll have to have play dates. I love Frances, I hope she gets to sleep with me!”

  Emily walks into the room with more boxes and says, “No dogs in the bed, baby girl.”

  She turns to leave to get more boxes and Jonathan pops his head in. With a wink he says, “There’s a dog bed in your room too, Princess. We’ll have to wait and see about bedtime.”

  And with that he’s gone. I hear a little giggle come from the other side of the room and when I get a look at the smile on her adorable little face, it’s clear that Ireland is just as head over heels as her momma is. Too cute.

  It’s Monday, and I’m still at Mick’s. Christmas was on Saturday, so we had to wait until today to get the security system installed. Mick is at my place with the contractors that are doing the install, and I’m here helping Emily and Ireland get packed up and moved.

  The last couple of days have been pure bliss. I know it’s not reality but I’ll take it while I’ve got it.

  After Mick took his ‘moment’ on Christmas night he lightened the mood and gave me my presents. He saw them on my kitchen table when he went into my place to pack me a bag. He didn’t do a great job packing my bag and we had to go back on Sunday to get a few more things, but it’s the thought that counts.

  Saturday night we sat in front of his Christmas tree and he gave me my presents, but not before he put his Santa hat on.

  Damn, he is one hot Santa.

  With the glow of the tree lights in his eyes, his red and white hat slightly askew on his blonde head and the glee-full smile on his face, I am a goner.

  No gifts required. My heart is his. Just. Like. That.

  With the excitement of a five-year-old on Christmas morning he pushes a perfectly wrapped box in my direction and says, “Go ahead and open it.”

  “Mick, I feel so bad. I don’t have your present. This isn’t fair.”

  “Don’t even sweat it. I’m excited for you to open your gifts. I don’t need anything. Now get to it!”

  Before di
gging into the beautiful paper, I burn this memory of Mick into my heart. I don’t ever want to forget the way he looks at this moment.

  Happy.

  He looks happy.

  To think that any of that happy shining back in my direction is because of me warms my heart. I don’t ever want to forget how I feel right here in this moment.

  “Wow, this wrap job is pretty nice. You do this?”

  “As a matter of fact I did, smart ass.”

  “I must say I’m impressed. You have mad skills,”

  “Oh, you have no idea, sweet thing.”

  I set myself up for that one, and I feel the warmth of my embarrassment as well as the lust I have for this man on my cheeks. I would love nothing more than to throw these gifts to the side and have him show me his ‘mad skills’ right here in front of the tree. He sees my blush and throws a wink in my direction.

  The moment I peel the paper back the laughter that tumbles out of me is surprising but welcome. I feel like I haven’t laughed in years. Leave it to Mick to break that cycle. After I catch my breath I say, “You know me so well!”

  Not serious enough to change the mood but with levity he says, “I do.”

  He really does. And the fact that I am holding a full-size JC Chasez doll in my hands is proof. “How did you find this? They haven’t made these for years! You really are a superhero!”

  “No cape necessary. Being that it’s 2015 and all there is this thing called the internet and it is quite a magical thing. It’s amazing the things you can find on there.” He wags his eyebrows up and down and I just roll my eyes at him. “Nah, he was easy to find and I know he was your favorite. I’m sure a love as strong as yours was for *NSYNC and JC never dies.”

  “I love it, Mick! And you’re right. A love that strong never dies and let’s face it…Justin got all the attention so I’m proud to be the new owner of this JC doll. I can’t believe you bought me a doll though.”