Where Does My Heart Belong?

by Libby Kingsley

  Once Manny gets back, we all join Isabel in her room. She says to me, “Libby, I want you to hear this since Tony and Angie are living with you.” Then she lays into them.

  “Ricardo told me something interesting last night. Apparently, he’s been asked to be the best man at a wedding. It seems that Angelita and Diego are planning nuptials. What is this all about? Do either one of you know what your children are up to?”

  Tony groans and Manuel is grinning. “That’s my boy,” he exclaims.

  “I don’t need to tell you what your father is going to do when he hears about this and he’s not going to hear about it if I can help it. I’m going to put the kibosh on this thing right now. I’ve never told you how to raise your children but this kind of goings on is not going to happen in my house.”

  “Geez, Mom, they’re just kids, 6 and 8 years old. What’s the big deal? They’re just play acting for Christ’s sake,” Manny tells her.

  “Do not take the Lord’s name in vain.”

  “I’m sorry,” he mutters.

  “The big deal is that they’re cousins, not blood related as you well know, but if they blab this around I’m afraid people will think we’re encouraging some sort of incest here. I won’t have it. People outside of the family don’t know that Tony isn’t Angie’s biological father.”

  “I’m sorry, Mama, I don’t know anything about any wedding plans but I did notice that they were getting pretty chummy yesterday. We’ll take Angie back to the city with us,” Tony says.

  “No, leave her here for the rest of the summer, just like you planned. Carmen is staying too. They’ll be a big comfort to me. Besides, I think you have other matters you should be dealing with. I’ll handle this. I’m going to separate those kids. Manuel, I think Diego needs a job. I want to put him to work in the poultry barn, with pay. Bring him over at 8:00 every morning. When he’s done there, he can stay with the Ramirez family until you pick him up. Alma Ramirez rules that brood of hers with an iron fist. She won’t let him get away with a thing. If we can keep these kids apart then I hope this whole nonsense will blow over. Are you with me on this, Manuel?”

  “Yes, ma’am, whatever you say.”

  “Now, I’m going to call the hospital and see how your father is doing. I hope he can come home today. Luis will drive me and I’d like to take Ricardo and Diego along. The rest of you can get that shed roof repaired and plan tonight’s supper. Tony if you and Libby will excuse me please, I’d like to talk to Manuel alone now.” She gets up and hugs each of us, and tells us she loves us.

  Oh my, what a woman. Tony and I go out to the living room. “Let’s sit down,” he says. “Is it okay with you if we stay another night here? I’d like to spend some time with my father.”

  “Of course, we can stay as long as you want. Your family is terrific. Your mother is the most wonderful woman I have ever met. I love her. You’re so lucky to have a mother like her. Oh, here she comes. I wonder what the hospital said.”

  “José will be released at noon. Manuel, take those kids home and get them cleaned up. Where’s Luis?”

  “Relax, Mama, I’ll go find him. Can I get you something to drink or eat?”

  “No thank you, Tony, just go and get Luis. I can’t wait to have the love of my life back home with me.”

  Once Luis and Isabel have left, Tony and I plan the supper. We decide on roasted chickens, potato salad, bar-b-que beans, cole slaw, and biscuits.

  “We can cook the chickens and potato salad here. We’re going to have to go into town later to get roofing supplies so we can stop at a KFC and buy the beans and cole slaw. Let’s make this as easy as possible. I’ll get the chickens thawing out and the girls can get the potato salad started.”

  “Great, but what can I do?”

  “Just watch. I know you don’t cook but Carmen is a whiz. Luis is a gourmet, if you can believe that, and he’s taught Carmen everything he knows. That young girl could whip a dinner for twenty people in a moments notice if she had to.”

  “Wow. Your Mom told me she taught all of you to cook.”

  “Yep, but that’s not the only thing. She taught us how to wash and iron our own clothes, how to sew, how to clean house and do the yard work. By the time she was done with us we could all manage a household as well as she could.”

  “I’m more impressed with her by the minute. I think I’ll just stay here forever. You and Angie can live at Sea Cliff house,” I tease.

  “Not without you, we can’t.”

  After Isabel gets home with José, the house is in an uproar. I watch as they all crowd around him, giving him hugs, and telling him that they love him. Isabel sits him down in his recliner and then he looks up and sees me.

  "Libby, come over here and give an old man a hug. I'm glad you're here. Isabel told me what you did for her last night. Thank you for being there for her."

  "I'm so glad you're okay, José," I say while giving him a hug. "I loved being with her last night. Your wife is the greatest woman that I know."

  "I think so too, but tell me, what's going on between you and that youngest son of mine?"

  "Not now, José," Isabel interrupts. "Supper is ready. Let's eat."

  After supper, we all gather in the living room and I watch the family interact with each another. They're all so happy and loving. I start to feel like I'm going to cry so I get up and go to the bathroom. I've only been in there a short time when someone knocks on the door. When I open it, it’s Isabel.

  "Libby, you've been crying. What's wrong, dear, did something happen to upset you?"

  "No, I've just never been around a loving family like yours before and it got to me. I didn't have a nice family life." She puts her arms around me and now it's me sobbing in her arms the way she did in mine last night.

  "Listen to me, Libby. I want you to think of us as your second family and this house as your second home. No matter what happens between you and Tony, we'll be here for you. I want you to come out here more often. Girl, I can't teach you how to cook if you're all the way down there in San Francisco. Now, fix your face and come back out. Luis and Manuel are going to entertain us with some guitar playing and probably some of their dirty songs."

  The rest of the night is fun. I enjoy the guitar playing and the songs, even though they're all in Spanish and I can't understand all the words. Tony sits with me on the couch and drapes his arm over the back of it, not touching me, but I can tell he wants to. At one point, I see him and Isabel wink at each other and wonder what that's all about.

  The next afternoon we go back to San Francisco but not until José and Isabel make me promise that I'll come back again before the summer is over.

  CHAPTER 48

  August 1974

  A week after we get back from the farm, Tony asks me if I would like to go on a little jaunt with him.

  “A jaunt, what kind of a jaunt?” I ask him.

  “A surprise jaunt, just for the day. You’ll find out when we get there.”

  “Well, what do I wear? Is this dress-up or casual?”

  “Casual dress-up. Come on, show me what you’ve got in your closet, I’ll help you pick.”

  “I don’t think there’s any such thing as casual dress-up. Besides, I’m too fat. Nothing in there is going to fit. I need to go shopping for some maternity clothes. I can’t keep running around in sweats and muu-muus.”

  “Let’s go shopping then.”

  He takes me to a maternity store, where I buy several outfits. He chooses one with light green linen pants, a lemon colored blouse and adds a straw hat to it for me to wear on our ‘jaunt’. “You’ll need comfortable shoes too. We’re probably going to be doing some walking. I’ve got it scheduled for day after tomorrow so get plenty to sleep tomorrow night, a car will pick us up at 8:00 Friday morning.”

  “Oh, please Tony, tell me where we’re going. I don’t like surprises.”

  “I’ll tell you once we get on our way so you can’t change your mind.”

  Friday morning a l
imo is here waiting for us. I recognize it as Fred’s but he’s not in it. “Where’s Fred, isn’t he going too?”

  “Nope, I borrowed his limo. This trip is just for you and me.”

  The limo takes us to the airport where there’s a jet similar to mine waiting for us. Good, lord, he’s leased a jet. This must be costing him a fortune. We board the jet, and after we’re airborne, I start badgering him.

  “Come on; tell me, its Reno isn’t it.” He shakes his head no. “Vegas, then, its Vegas.” Another shake of his head. “Tell me, tell me, tell me. I’m going to find out in a little while anyways.”

  “Nope, you’re just going to have to wait.”

  “Well, I know we’re headed south because that’s the Pacific Ocean on my right side.”

  The flight takes about an hour and I still don’t know where we are when we land. “Okay, now tell me, where are we at?”

  “We’re not there yet,” and he leads me over to where a helicopter is waiting. We get in the chopper and head out over the Pacific. Oh, my God, now I think I know where we’re going, Santa Catalina Island.

  “Come on, give me one little hint.”

  He starts humming The Four Preps song, 26 Miles, and then says, “So how does Catalina for the afternoon sound?”

  I can feel my jaw drop. He was referring me to that night when he said he had fallen head over heels for some woman. He’s taken my dating suggestion on how to woe her and acted on it.

  “It was me you were talking about that night?”

  “Yes, Libby, it was you. I’ve been crazy about you since that first day we met on the loading dock at the food bank. Let’s not talk about it now though, let’s just enjoy this beautiful day together.”

  After we land, a taxi takes us to a hotel where he’s rented a room for the day so we’ll have some place comfortable to relax. Next, he’s booked us on a tour to see the island. After that, we have lunch and then take a nature walk on our own. While we’re walking, I find a pretty rock. “Oh, look, look at this,” I say.

  “Oh, my goodness, it looks like a rock,” he teases.

  “I know it’s a rock, but it’s a special rock. Look at it, look at all the colorizations. Here, I want you to have it.”

  “A rock, oh, honey, you shouldn’t have.”

  “Just take it, you goof, and every time you look at it, think of me and this wonderful day.”

  “From now on, this rock will be my lucky charm,” he says and puts it in his pocket.

  After our walk, we go back to the hotel and I confront him about his feelings for me.

  “So, what does all this mean? Where are you coming from with all of this?”

  “Oh, Libby, I know I’ve never told you how I feel about you. I didn’t know how. Jessie said you didn’t want anything more to do with men. So I just tried to be your friend. Do you remember the first day we met? I knew right then and there, that you were the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. Most people spend all of their time looking for that someone special. The day I met you was the day I stopped looking. I love you. I want to marry you. I want us to be a family, you, Angie, and me, and I’ll love this baby you’re carrying as if it was my own. I know that you’re probably not in love me, that you still have feelings for Red, but I promise you, if you marry me, I will do everything I can to make you the happiest woman on earth. ”

  “That’s where you’re wrong, Tony, I do love you, not in the same way I loved Red, but in a better way, a more meaningful way. The feelings I had for Red are gone. They’re dead. I’ve never told you how I feel about you either. I flipped out for you too that day at the food bank. I never thought you’d be interested in someone like me. I was coming off a bad relationship and I didn’t want to get hurt again.”

  He gets down on the floor on one knee and pulls a jewelers box from his pocket. When he opens it, I see the most precious white gold ring with a little diamond that’s about a quarter of a carat, set in a beveled diamond shaped setting, which makes it look larger than it really is. Its dome shape mounting is filigreed down the shoulders and all the way around the gallery.

  “This was my Grandmother’s. Mama gave it to me that day she had a talk with me back at the farm. I know it’s not much and if you don’t like it I’ll get you anything you want when we get back to Frisco. Will you marry me, Libby? Will you make me the happiest man alive?”

  “Oh, my God, it’s beautiful, I don’t want anything else.” Then it hits me, the baby, I'm going to be able to keep my baby. I start to cry and whisper under my breath, "I can keep him, oh my God, I can keep him."

  "What's wrong, sweetheart, why are you crying and keep who? What are you talking about?"

  "The baby, I was thinking about giving it up for adoption because I didn't think I could raise it by myself."

  "I know. I saw those pamphlets you brought home from the doctor's the night of the earthquake. Of course, you can keep your baby; there’s no way I would want you to give it up. And you won't be raising it alone, I'll be right there with you. But, you haven't answered my question yet, will you marry me?"

  “Yes, I’ll marry you, Tony, yes, I’ll marry you.”

  “Woo hoo, when? Don’t make it too far off. I’ve waited long enough already.” He takes the rock I gave him out of his pocket. “I told you this was going to be my lucky charm, didn’t I?”

  “Just as soon after the honeymoon as we can.”

  “So, you want the honeymoon first, huh?”

  “Don’t you? Just to make sure we’re compatible.”

  “I’ll go along with whatever you want, but honey, I think we should do it the old fashioned way. Let’s get married first and then have the honeymoon.”

  “Okay, but if you end up not liking what you get you’re going to be stuck with me.”

  “Oh, I think I’ll like what I get and I can’t wait to be stuck with you, babe.”

  EPILOGUE

  Three Years Later

  Relaxing in my chaise lounge, I gaze out over the sparkling blue of the Mediterranean Sea and then turn my head to watch my wonderful family play on the beach. We’ve been spending the summer in beautiful Majorca, Spain.

  My husband, Tony, whom I have come to love more than life itself, is playing fetch with a stray dog that wandered up. It’s taken me a long time to learn to trust a man again but with Tony’s unconditional love and patience, I no longer feel paranoid that I’m going to be dumped on. He has given me the most splendacious life and a love that I could never have dreamed possible.

  Beautiful Angelita, 9 years old, joyous, and full of life, is busy building pyramids in the sand. She’s growing up to be such a wonderful human being, so kind and loving, always thinking of others, before herself.

  Then there’s two and a half years old Michael, my little green-eyed gremlin, with his daddy’s curly red hair, mischievous grin and jovial personality. He’s gleefully destroying one of Angie’s pyramids, jumping up and down on it. He is Red’s best and last gift to me. I wish Red could have known that he had a son, but he didn’t and he never will. He passed away eight months ago. After he left Eagle Valley, no one ever heard from him again until his parents got word that he died from a car accident in Colorado. Barb sent me his obituary but it didn’t say what caused the crash. It only stated that his car struck a guardrail, crossed the centerline, and collided head on with another vehicle. His death hit me hard. He was my first love and even though I’ve hated what he did to me, I will always love him. I wish I could have seen him or talked to him one last time. I'd tell him about his son and that I forgive him, but now the only way I can see him is when I’m asleep. Once again, he occasionally haunts my dreams.

  Tony comes over, kisses me, and rubs my swollen belly. In three months, I will give him the thing that he’s always wanted, children of his own. I’m pregnant with twins, a boy, and a girl.

  Later today, we’ll be going back to San Francisco, cutting our summer vacation short by a month. My doctor here wants me on bed rest because I�
��m having occasional contractions, and Tony doesn’t want to take the chance of me going into premature labor while we’re away from home. He picks me up and carries me in his arms up the pathway that leads to our vacation rental. The children and their nanny follow us into the house. The housekeeper tells us that the pilot just called, the jet is ready and waiting to fly us home. Tony sets me down on the couch and the kids gather around, patting, and kissing my belly. I kiss them both and say, “It hurts a little.”

  “What hurts, the babies?” Tony says in alarm.

  “No,” I tell him. “Happiness.”

  RECIPES

  CROCK POT BEANS AND HOT DOGS

  (Kids love this.)

  3 cans (16 ounces each) pork and beans

  1-pound hot dogs, cut into 1-inch pieces

  1/2 cup ketchup

  1 small onion, chopped

  1/4 cup molasses

  1 tablespoon prepared mustard

  In crockpot, combine beans, hot dogs, ketchup, onion, molasses, and mustard. Cover and cook on LOW for 6 to 8 hours.

  Makes 6 Servings

  ISABEL’S FAMOUS CARROT PINEAPPLE CAKE

  2 cups flour

  2 teaspoons baking soda

  2 teaspoons cinnamon

  ½ teaspoon salt

  3 eggs

  ¾ cup vegetable oil

  ¾ cup buttermilk

  2 cups sugar

  2 teaspoons vanilla

  1 (8-ounce) can crushed pineapple, drained

  2 cups grated carrots

  3½ ounces shredded coconut

  1 cup walnuts, coarsely chopped.

  Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Grease a 13-by9-inch pan or two 9-inch cake pans. Sift flour, baking soda, cinnamon and salt together; set aside. In a large bowl, beat eggs. Add oil, buttermilk, sugar and vanilla; mix well. Add flour mixture, pineapple, carrots, coconut and walnuts. Stir well. Pour into prepared pans. Bake 55 minutes or until wooden pick inserted in center comes out clean. While cake is baking, prepare Buttermilk Glaze.