Love Me ~ Through the Storm

by Renee Kennedy

  “Please stay with me, I don’t want to be alone tonight.” She doesn’t open her eyes, but she keeps a firm grip on me.

  “Oakley.” I breathe out slowly. I know this could be my demise.

  “Please, Kane, just one night, I need to know someone’ll be here for me.”

  “I need to change into some sleep pants or shorts, I’ll be right back.” I can’t sleep in jeans; they’re too stiff.

  Oakley tightens her grip, not letting go.

  “Okay, Oakley. I guess boxers will have to do. Is that okay?” I will not allow anything to happen tonight, no matter how hard my cock may become. I walk to the other side of the bed and let my jeans fall to the floor before I slip in bed behind her.

  Oakley scoots over until her back is cradled against my front. My little spoon. I can feel her ass pressed firmly against my growing erection. She reaches for my arm and pulls it around her body. “Thank you, Kane. I think I’ll be able to sleep now.”

  I’m glad one of us will. It sure as hell won’t be me.

  8

  Oakley

  Waking up in Kane’s arms was like Heaven on Earth. There’s no other place I’d rather be. Being in Quinn’s arms doesn’t even come close. Too bad the feelings are one sided. I wish Kane could see what I see; he’s really a great guy. I know what he and the rest of the band think he’s like, but they don’t see the side of him I do. Problem is he only sees me as a little girl in need of rescuing. I have to get control of my anxiety attacks or whatever they are then, maybe he could finally see me as the grown woman I am. Perhaps, he would see the love in my eyes isn’t the love of a little girl for a big brother, but the love of a woman for a man. What happened last night at the frat party is the last time that I’m allowing panic to control me. I am strong. I am brave.

  I hate to get up, leaving him in this warm cozy bed, but I have to meet Quinn soon and break things off with him. I need to say my piece in person. I don’t want the next several years of my life to be a long distance relationship with only phone calls, letters, and the occasional visit. Maybe I never loved him at all if I can give him up so easily. Last night, his text proved to me he could easily give me up. It’s a real eye opener to learn that I never meant that much to him, but it’ll make moving on so much easier.

  The cab I called pulls up in front of Kane’s condo, and I rush out before they blow their horn. I don’t know why I’m sneaking out without leaving a note, nothing happened between us.

  I’m meeting Quinn in the student center. I guess he wanted somewhere public so I wouldn’t freak out on him. I have to admit sometimes I really do have a hard time keeping my emotions under control. But today, for some reason, I’m not emotional, in fact, I feel ready for this. Truly, I think I’m really okay with this, with him leaving. Who knows, this might even open up some opportunities for me. Maybe I can meet someone who really is for me. You never know, one of the guys from last night might be interested in me. If my crazy from last night didn’t scare them off.

  The cab takes me straight to the student center. I really don’t care how I look for this. It’ll be over with quick and then I can go back to my dorm to face the girls.

  I’m a few minutes late, so I immediately scan the student center looking for Quinn as I open the door. I see him standing with a bouquet of roses and a huge smile on his face. He is sorta dressed up in slacks and a button down shirt, which makes me wish I had at least changed clothes. No, Oakley, you don’t need to change; you don’t care, besides you’re here to end it with him. You can do this.

  “Hey.” I say, giving him a hug.

  “How’s my sweet pea?” He puts the roses down on the table then picks me up and swings me around in a giant hug. Still holding me firmly against his body, he slowly lets me slide down his improved body inch by slow inch. He leans in and gives me a kiss that shows me exactly how much he missed me over these last ten weeks.

  Through his shirt, I can feel what the physical training has done for him. He is hard and tight, gone is every ounce of fat that he had. Shit, all I can think about is seeing him without his shirt on and glistening with sweat. I take a deep breath to calm myself. He’s standing taller and with more confidence and damn, now he looks like…like, a fine ass man. He’s no longer a boy. He really looks good, but I’m over him, I’m moving on.

  I’m proud of him for serving our country, and I’m going to miss him, but I’m honestly feeling good about this, realizing all of this sooner rather than later in our relationship when we’re both really attached.

  “I missed you so much, Oakley. I’m so sorry I’ve disappointed you. I do have a plan for us, if you’re willing to give this situation a chance. I love you, Oakley, you’re my whole world.” Quinn hands me the flowers, then pulls me over to one of the sofas. He sits and taps the seat beside him.

  I sit next to him and lay the flowers to my other side. “Quinn, I missed you, too, probably a lot more than you realize. It’s hard on me being all alone. I don’t do well without you, Q. That’s what I wanted to talk to you about.”

  “See, that’s just it, I don’t want you to be without me,” he says.

  I feel a tightness in my chest, “What are you talking about?” I narrow my eyes slightly because I can’t imagine what he is thinking; he’s going to be gone forever.

  Quinn stands from the couch and then bends on one knee in front of me.

  Holy shit, this is not happening!

  He reaches in his pocket and pulls out a little black velvet box.

  Oh! My! Goodness! Is this for real?

  Quinn reaches for my left hand.

  My right hand covers my open mouth.

  “Oakley, I know we haven’t known each other long, but I do know what I feel for you is true. Nothing in this world could ever make me any happier than you do. I love you, Oakley. Will you marry me?”

  “We’re eighteen years old.” I shake my head. He’s lost his mind.

  “I know that and that’s the legal age here.”

  “What about school? I want to get my degree.” I can’t do this.

  “You can. Not a problem. I’ll make whatever you want happen. Anything you want, Oakley, if it’s within my reach. I want to make all of your dreams come true.”

  His eyes are full of joy and hope.

  I look around. We’re drawing a lot of attention.

  “Oakley?”

  “Quinn…”

  He stands. “You’re not ready yet, I get that. We don’t have to go today to get married. I have three months of AIT and then I’ll have a break. The way I figure it, you’ll be about done with your first semester of school. Maybe we could get married then and you could go with me wherever I get stationed. Just think, Oakley, we could see the world,” he says, standing taller.

  “Quinn, we are so young. I don’t know… I can’t be sure…” I’m so freaking confused. “I came here to end things with you today. I don’t want a long distant relationship. Now…” Tell him. Get this over with right here and now.

  “You don’t have to make your mind up right now.” He pushes the ring onto my finger. “Wear my ring, please, take some time and think about this. It’s a lifelong commitment. It’s one I want to make to you. I want to spend the rest of my life, making you the happiest girl in the world.”

  “I don’t know, Quinn,” I don’t think I’m in love with him any longer.

  “Just wear it and think about it, you know how much I love you.” He is begging me with his eyes, making it hard to say no.

  “Okay, I’ll wear your ring and when you come back after your training, I’ll give you my answer.” I let out a long breath. “But, I’m not sure you’re going to like my answer. I’m in disarray, and my head is all over the place.”

  “That makes me almost as happy as if you’d said a real yes.” Quinn wraps his strong arms around me.

  All he must have heard was the okay. I’d hoped to get through to him without being harsh. I’m suffocating, but I refuse to let the panic consume me. I
t’s ironic that his arms have always brought me comfort but today they’re restricting me.

  Everyone in the room claps. They all think we got engaged and why shouldn’t they? I have on the ring, he’s happy, and we’re embracing like we can’t get enough of each other. Why do I still feel a weight pressing down on the middle of my chest? This should be a happy time for me, too.

  Quinn pulls away, running his hand down my hair. “Okay, let me buy my fiancée breakfast.” He holds out his hand for mine and gives me that smile of his that has melted my heart and filled my dreams in the past. He’s sexy, charming, loves me and he wants me. Why do I feel so different today?

  He’s the one person who really wants me, but do I want him? I had thought I did, why am I so unsure now? God, is everything in college going to be so confusing? Growing up kinda sucks right now. I thought during the college years you were supposed to sow your wild oats. Really live. Not become an instant adult and play house. Now, he’s already considering me his fiancée? I need to talk this out with someone. I wish Lizzie and Bailey were here.

  Raelynn, who’s at the University of Alabama, is so busy already. She auditioned back in April and will proudly be marching as a Crimsonette during football season. She goes non-stop between classes and practices. She doesn’t have time for long conversations, and the one I need to have about Q will be lengthy.

  9

  Kane

  Falling asleep with Oakley in my arms was fantastic; waking up without her there was disappointing. But when I realized she had not only left me in bed but my house without even leaving a note, well, in my book that was just evil. This isn’t something I expected of Oakley, and it isn’t like we did anything, I just held her while she slept. I should have known something like this would happen. This is one of the reasons I stay away from these young girls, emphasis on girl.

  I should’ve listened to my gut last night and taken her to GG’s house or at least I should have slept in my own room. My heart is already involved more than I can afford it to be. She’s taboo to me, a delectable forbidden fruit that my mouth waters for. For my own sanity, I should cut all ties.

  Who am I kidding? I’m hooked and there is no way to get loose. I know I’ll go running to her the next time she calls. Since we met, I have been at her beck and call, especially over this last year. I wonder if she’s figured out that she has me by the balls and could get me to do anything for her. God, why the hell did she leave without waking me or at least leaving a note?

  Against my better judgment, I send her a text.

  Kane:Are you okay?

  That’s just me looking after her like a little sister. No sexual intentions there, I’m still safe. Yeah, right!

  I make myself a glass of juice and a bowl of oatmeal then take my breakfast outside to the patio. I enjoy sitting outside early in the mornings. I always bring my laptop with me and catch up on emails or social media. Today, I use it as a distraction.

  While scanning the online issue of the Tennessean, I see a small talent fair this afternoon. I need to go to this because I’m looking for some new talent. Maybe I can find a stunner who’d be willing to start her career in the erotic film industry. SugarKane Productions is low budget, online, sexually explicit art. While actual theatrical content is lacking, it’s still heavily sexual without being pornographic. Would anyone in my personal life respect that I write, direct, and produce these short films? No, but I know they’ve had a good time watching them. More than once, one of the guys has mentioned watching one of my films. I always had an extremely hard time keeping a straight face during one of those conversations.

  I pick up the phone to call CJ, my talent and business manager. He has a good eye for the certain gifts and dexterity we are always looking for. At these type of events, a lone guy going up and talking to the girls, will get him labeled as a creeper, so we search for talent together. CJ has a more polished business look, where I have the longer hair and tattoos. I’m the creative and he is the managerial side of the company. For the most part, I just let him handle the shit I don’t want to take care of.

  “Hey, man, what are you doing?” I say as he picks up the phone.

  “Sleeping, bye,” he grunts.

  “Wake your lazy ass up. We need to go down to the Ryman at noon.”

  “You have to be out of your mind if you think I’m giving up my day off to go listen to music with you today.”

  “Why? What’s today?” I ask him.

  “My fucking day off, Luther. That’s what today is, goodbye.”

  “Okay, I understand if you would rather sleep another couple of hours. I was just letting you know about the talent fair, where there will be a lot of ready, willing, and able female bodies. I’ll try to pick out some good ones, you go on and go back to sleep.” I wait for it, I know it’s coming, the moaning and groaning. He’ll be bitching and complaining until we get there. Then he’ll be in full-on ready mode and I’ll be the one wanting to leave.

  “When are you picking me the hell up?” He lets out a deep sigh.

  We make arrangements then I get ready for my day full of possibilities.

  The Ryman Auditorium is legendary. Whoever made the arrangements to have the talent fair in such a prestigious location has class. The auditorium opened as the Union Gospel Tabernacle in 1892 and got its nickname "The Mother Church of Country Music" after the Grand Ole Opry began broadcasting its radio show there in 1943. It still holds that nickname, even though the Opry was moved from there in the early seventies. Experts even say it has some of the best acoustics in the world and events for singers and acts are still held there.

  We arrive downtown and, as usual, parking is hard to find, but we still make it to the auditorium in plenty of time. Looking around at the people gathered, I’m beginning to wonder if I have just wasted our time. The article led me to believe that we would be seeing and hearing some of today's best and brightest, but what I’m seeing is something between karaoke and your standard high school talent show. Great.

  “This’s what you call talent? Man, I’ve seen more talent at my grandma’s nursing home.” CJ shakes his head. “You got me out of bed for this?”

  “Quit grumbling. You can’t sleep half of your life away,” I tell him.

  “I know I can’t because you won’t let me sleep on my days off!” he spouts off.

  I laugh at him. “You pussy.”

  He rolls his eyes toward the ceiling and replaces his shades. “Don’t talk to me, not until after you feed me. I want GG’s tonight.”

  “Well, maybe we’ll get lucky. You never know who will show up and maybe there will be something we can work with here, so keep your eyes and ears open.”

  We find seats near the stage. I look over at CJ who has his arms crossed and his mouth drawn into a hard line. He either needs a vacation or a good fuck. Maybe a good fucking vacation. Hell, we could all use that.

  We listen to the theatrical poetry readings and the five-minute original skits, deciding there isn’t anything here worth our time. Then I see my girl with her acoustic guitar, and she’s with that boy, the one who broke her heart just last night.

  So, I guess that is where she was off to in such a hurry this morning. She wants to spend as much time with him as possible before he leaves her. Can’t she remember how upset she was last night? He is just going to break her heart again tomorrow.

  Since there aren’t regular intermissions between the different types of talent being presented, we are waiting for the skit acts to gather all their stuff and leave the stage before the next group of artist can proceed to torture us for their allotted time. The row of seats in front of us clears and Oakley notices me.

  She waves at me as she walks over. “Hey, I didn’t know you were coming today.”

  CJ perks up a little, sitting up straighter, “Hello, I’m CJ Hightower, managing partner of SugarKane Productions.”

  I turn and give him a slight shake of my head. Oakley is a beautiful girl, but she isn’t going to be worki
ng for us, ever.

  “What’s SugarKane Productions? Kane, you own a candy company and you’re holding out on me?” Oakley extends her hand to CJ. “Hello, I’m Oakley. You’ve probably heard Kane refer to me as baby sister.” She laughs, and points a thumb over at Quinn. “This is Q, my…” She looks at her left hand.

  I notice a small square diamond on her ring finger. “Looks like congratulations are in order.” I say rather stiffly, but try to offer a smile anyway.

  Quinn comes over. “Hey, I’m Quinn, Oakley’s fiancé. It’s nice to finally meet you, Kane. Thanks for keeping my lady here company while I was away.” He sticks out his hand for me to shake.

  I just stare at Oakley… His fiancée? I reluctantly take his hand.

  Like he does to all of the beautiful girls we meet at functions like this, CJ starts to explain about the business. “Yes, we run a small production company—”

  “She’s not interested in our company,” I tell him, not taking my eyes off Oakley, his fiancée.

  Oakley avoids looking at me. In fact, she has her eyes completely closed and she’s taking deep breaths. I could be mistaken, but she doesn’t seem that happy.

  “Congratulations, Oakley, I’m sure the two of you will be very happy together,” I say.

  Their engagement is a good thing. I’m so glad I didn’t give into temptation last night because what a fucking mess this would all be right now if I had. Fate intervened at the right time and it’s telling me once again, ‘You can’t have her, buddy. I was just fucking around with you.’ Yeah, that asshole, fate, is laughing its ugly head off right now.

  “Thanks, Kane, I’ll be needing you to watch out for her a while longer, man. I’ll be in training for another three months before I can come back for her.” Quinn loops his arm around Oakley’s shoulder, pulling her over and giving her a kiss on her temple.

  Me? He can’t tell how much I want Oakley for myself, and only by sheer will power have I not acted on it. I need to get away. “Yeah, well, I guess we better let you guys get ready for Oakley’s set. We need to go around and talk to a few of the wannabe models, gotta find some new talent.”