Powerless

by Catherine Johnson

  “It didnae look as though we’d lost any.”

  “No, overall it’s a young pack, so no issues there. No one’s needed to move on for work or family. Since Daniel is very definitely in charge, there haven’t been any challenges.”

  Becca’s the first one ontae ma train o’ thought. “That’s five that don’t know anything about you. Apart from Daniel and Bryn and us, the rest don’t know anything other than the basics?” She looks at Donna for confirmation o’ what she was assured o’ a week ago.

  “That’s right. All they know is that you were attacked and that Callum turned himself in and was sent down for it.”

  Becca looks me in the eye. “Maybe it’s time to start putting the record straight?”

  “Aye lass. If I’m tae take Daniel on, it does no good for me tae do it without any o’ the pack behind me. I doona run things like that. I want them tae want me tae be their Alpha.”

  “Then they need to get to know you.” Damn, but that direct stare o’ hers is disturbin’.

  “Aye, but it’s how tae do it that’s the thing.”

  She drops her eyes as she goes back to her food. She’s nearly finished before she looks up at Donna.

  “It’s your birthday in November. You should have a party.”

  I’m intrigued by this turn. “What are you thinkin’ lass?”

  “Donna’s birthday is the fourth of November. We usually do something with the kids and fireworks since it’s close to Bonfire Night. I’m thinking this year we should do it at my flat, make a pack thing of it. The kids can come and hopefully stay over. We should be able to get behind the flats to set the fireworks. Everyone can watch from inside in the warm or from the balcony if they want to. It’d give everyone a chance to connect with you.”

  “What about the next full moon?” Michael asks me.

  “I’ll just keep my head down like last time, if Bryn’ll let me. If no’ it’ll be him makin’ the arse o’ himself. The pack’ll only see him comin’ at me, I’m no’ goin’ tae rise tae the bait.”

  Donna’s lookin’ worried, but no’ about me. “Bex, getting the pack behind Callum means telling them that it was Bryn that attacked you. Are you going to be okay with that?”

  For a moment the lass seems to shrink into herself, but then she straightens up and I can see the resolve in her. “I’m going to have to be. I’m not thrilled about having so many people know what’s been going on, but it’s only fair to the pack that they know the truth so that they can make their decision. I don’t think I’ll be putting posters up. Do you think it’ll be enough to begin with if people just see that I’m happy for Callum to be in my home?”

  “Aye lass, it’ll be enough to start. There’s no need for you tae make a speech tae ‘em all.”

  “What about Rob?” Donna’s still in mother-hen mode.

  “What about him?” Becca just shrugs.

  “Are you going to invite him? Are you happy about everyone knowing you two aren’t together any more?”

  “I think it’ll be blindingly obvious at the next full moon anyway that we aren’t together anymore. It’ll save me putting up some posters about that as well.”

  We get tae clearin’ all the dishes and such now that everyone’s finished eatin’. Donna’s adamant about leavin’ them ‘til the mornin’, probably because she’s openin’ another bottle o’ wine for herself and Becca. We settle down on the sofas in the living room. Donna and Michael are curled up with each other on one. I doona mind admittin’ tae bein’ envious, and it’s no’ as if I’m shy, I just doona want an audience if I get Becca that close tae me again.

  Donna lets Michael pick a film, since me and him will most likely see more o’ it than the lasses will. Becca’s lookin’ thoughtful again. I’m wonderin’ what cogs are turnin’ in that head o’ hers, and I ask as much.

  “I’m wondering what’s in this for Daniel. I mean, I get that he doesn’t want to give up being Alpha. He’s strong, but he’d probably still struggle taking over another pack, and I assume he doesn’t want to play second fiddle to anyone any more than you do. But why not kill Bryn like he promised? He had the pack. He could have taken you out of the equation before the full moon. He didn’t need to go to all this trouble, unless he really wanted to keep Bryan alive for some reason. What’s that reason?”

  The silence is deafenin’. “You know lass, I havenae got a clue why Bryn’s so important to him.”

  Michael and Donna are both listenin; and payin’ no heed tae the film now. They both look concerned, but it’s Michael who speaks first.

  “You need to know that reason. You need how hard he’s going to fight to protect that secret on top of fighting to keep the pack. Becca’s right, he could have just gotten rid of Bryn ages ago if he wasn’t important in some way. He was obviously betting on you being crazed when you got out, which would have solved the problem of what to do with you. It’ll have really thrown him that you’re not. So now he has to keep Bryn’s dirty little secret and he has to get rid of you.”

  Donna speaks, but it’s barely more than a whisper. “Keeping Bryn’s dirty little secret could well mean getting rid of all of us.”

  Chapter Fourteen

  Today is going to be one of those days, I just know it is. It’s Saturday, and it’s early, early enough that I’m making sure I get to drink this cup of coffee before I go anywhere. Rob was generally quite civil about making arrangements for me to pick the bunk beds up, but he did stipulate that it had to be today and since he has plans to keep, it had to be early. I haven’t asked what his plans are, they are none of my business and I’m just not that nosey.

  Michael decided that it would be a good idea if I were there when he and Callum take the van up to Rob’s house. I’m not entirely sure about his reasoning, since it isn’t as if Rob doesn’t know him; but on the other hand, Michael and Callum are not my gofers. There isn’t enough room in the van for the three of us, so I’m going to drive up and, hopefully, get there before the boys.

  I gulp down the rest of my coffee. I can feel the caffeine hit my system as I grab my car keys. I just hope everything goes smoothly, although I don’t know where my nagging feeling of unease is coming from. Granted, I’m not exactly looking forward to seeing Rob; who does like dealing with their exes? It’s something I’m going to have to get used to, though, so I better suck it up.

  It feels strange to have to knock on my old front door. My keys are in my hand before it registers that the door key isn’t amongst them any more. I check my watch; the boys should be here any minute. I can see a shape moving behind the glass panel, but I’m not prepared for it to be Claire that opens the door.

  “Hi Becca.” There’s something about the way she’s dressed, maybe it’s the lack of shoes, I’m not sure, but I’ll swear she didn’t turn up here five minutes before me.

  Okay, my voice is around here somewhere. “Hi, Claire. Did Rob mention I was coming for some furniture today?”

  “Yeah, sure. He’ll be down in a minute. Come in. Do you want a brew?”

  I follow her into what used to be my home. This is surreal in its politeness. I’m angry at Rob for putting me in this position. He knew damn well what time we’d arranged, so either he really doesn’t care that I’m going to find out that Claire’s stayed overnight, or he’s deliberately letting me know whilst not having the balls to just tell me. Whichever it is, I’m just going to bite my tongue for now.

  “No, I’m fine thanks. Michael and Callum should be here any minute.”

  I swear she actually turns pale. “Callum’s coming?”

  “Yep, I’ve persuaded the two of them to do all the lifting, and they’ve got the van. Is it a problem?”

  “No, it’s just... aren’t you bothered about that?”

  I can see why she’d be surprised. I had mentioned to Rob that Michael and Callum would be helping me. He didn’t comment on the fact that Callum would be involved at all, and he obviously neglected to tell Claire anything about it. I lose a bit m
ore respect for him for this wimping out of dealing with the harder topics.

  “It’s a long story Claire. Let’s just keep it to Callum not being what I thought he was for now.”

  “Oh, okay.”

  She’s still not recovered her full colour and she actually jumps a little when there’s another knock on the door.

  “Don’t worry love.” I assure her. “He doesn’t bite.”

  She really doesn’t look like she believes me. I’m trying not to laugh at how scared she still looks. She opens the door and lets the boys in about the same time that I hear Rob begin to make his way downstairs. At least he’s not going to hide away and let her deal with everyone on her own.

  “Hi Bex, Michael, Callum. The beds are still upstairs if you want to get started. Anyone want a brew?”

  Claire has retreated to the other end of the living room, as far from Callum as she can get without actually running away. If this is the general view of him that all the newbies have, winning them over is going to be harder than we thought. I can see from the look on their faces that both men have come to the same conclusion that I did about Claire’s presence.

  It’s Callum that answers Rob. “Nay, it’s alright. We’ll just get what we’re here for and get out o’ your way.”

  Rob seems surprised that Callum has spoken. I’m not; I’ve noticed that generally Michael defers to Callum when they’re together. I think it must be part of the Alpha thing, even though Callum isn’t technically one at the moment.

  “Okay, this way then.” It’s interesting that it automatically seems to work on Rob as well, whether he’s aware of it or not. Of course, Michael knows exactly where the bedroom with the bunk beds is.

  Callum hands me the keys to the van as he passes. “That’s your job, lass; you can open the van when we bring all the kit down.”

  It’s a perfectly innocent request, and a perfectly innocent gesture; but something about it feels decidedly less than innocent. Something about the brush of his fingers on mine as he drops the keys into my palm makes my breath catch. Irritatingly, that leaves me without a smart remark to throw at him because I’m trying to keep my face straight for the benefit of everyone else.

  The living room is full of uncomfortable quiet whilst we listen to the sounds of the beds being dismantled upstairs. Claire has practically wedged herself into a corner and is hugging herself. I try to look at things from her point of view. As far as she knows, Callum is the man who viciously attacked me and spent nearly six years behind bars for his crime; but she’s never seen even a hint of aggression from him, and more to the point, she’s never seen me show fear around him. I can’t figure out why she should be so terrified if I’m so obviously not. I wonder if it’s just one more example of how I really am the hard-shelled bitch that Rob appeared to think he was living with.

  As is usually the case, dismantling something is a lot quicker than the reassembly is going to be. It’s not long before I hear the boys start to bring the beds downstairs. There’s no point even trying to say anything to Claire, so I let myself out and leave the door open. Michael and Callum have parked on the road, almost directly outside the house. The front door leads directly into the living room; it’s the tight staircase inside that’s going to make this a difficult job. I’m sure I’m going to get some grief as well for the trek through the building to my flat at the other end.

  It only takes Michael and Callum a couple of trips to bring all the pieces down. It’s far easier for the two of them to manhandle the remaining mattress down the stairs and into the van than it was for me on my own to get it into the back of my three-door car.

  “Go on lass, get the kettle on.” Callum’s grinning as he takes the keys back from me.

  “Do I look like your maid or something?” My indignation would be more substantial if I wasn’t grinning too.

  “Nay lass, but I wouldnae mind seein’ you in the outfit.” He’s dropped his voice so that only the two of us can hear what he says. Not that it matters, just imagining that little scenario has me blushing like a neon sign. I can hear Michael laughing from his spot by the van door.

  My voice has gone AWOL again. I have to remind myself that I actually have to move my limbs to turn and walk towards my car. I have to concentrate to make sure I don’t fumble the keys and once I’m in I have to take a couple of deep breaths before I’m fit to drive. For a start I have to remember where the ignition is.

  When we get back to my building, I’m kept busy holding the numerous doors open, and Callum’s too occupied concentrating on manoeuvring the various bits up and down stairs and around corners to make any more remarks. Not that he needs to. Once the various pieces are all in the main room and I’m in the kitchenette filling the kettle, he pulls his coat and then his sweatshirt off, leaving him in a plain black t-shirt and dark blue jeans. I would like to be able to say that I wasn’t staring as his t-shirt rode up, but that would be lying.

  I wasn’t looking at him on the night of his first full moon after returning to the pack; I was concentrating on getting myself changed whilst flashing as little flesh as possible. I saw quite a bit more on the night we went for a run a couple of weeks ago; but this close to what promises to be a fairly cold winter is not the time to be standing around ogling naked men at around sixteen hundred feet above sea level. Plus, the whole being the dark thing, even if I do have superb night vision. But now it’s daylight and I have the central heating on and, oh my. Hello biceps! The sound of Michael laughing again brings me back to the present and I realise that the water is overflowing from the kettle and that it’s time I shut the tap off.

  I can hear more laughing which is swiftly replaced by a colourful variety of expletives as I get three cups of tea ready. I think about going in and reminding them that it’s only bunk beds, not the disarmament of a nuclear missile, but I decide not to since I really don’t want them to both walk out and leave all the reassembly to me. Eventually they re-emerge; it doesn’t look like they’ve stabbed each other with the screwdrivers.

  “Thanks love.” Michael accepts his brew with a wink and I am suddenly certain that Donna is going to hear all about the blushing and staring before nightfall.

  Callum doesn’t say anything as he accepts his brew, as his phone has started ringing and he’s busy trying to fish it out of the back pocket of his jeans and answer it one-handed. He heads off to the other side of the room to take the call. I’m about to start asking Michael about Jacob and Jonathan, but I realise his attention is focussed on Callum so I wait.

  “Was that Cooper?” He asks when Callum turns, pushing his phone back into its pocket.

  “Aye. It’s all set. I’ll head down tonight.”

  “Donna starts at seven. I can drop you at Piccadilly for about half four, five o’clock at the latest.”

  “That’d be grand.”

  “I’ll check what time the trains are and I’ll book the ticket online when I get home, it’ll be quicker than queuing at the station.”

  “Thanks, fella. The quicker I get down there, the quicker we can find out what the fuck’s going on.” Callum turns to me, obviously seeing that I’m about to ask what’s going on. “I’m heading down tae London, goin’ tae speak tae Bryn’s old pack, see if I can find out anythin’ useful.”

  “Bryn joined our pack whilst you were Alpha, right?” I glance at Michael, who nods. He and Donna filled me in on a lot of pack history years ago.

  “Aye, it’s no’ the best decision I ever made, but I know now that they didnae exactly give me all o’ the facts when we were discussin’ the transfer. They made out havin’ space tae run was causin’ the issues. I want tae know why they didn’t deal with him properly themselves.”

  There’s only one way to deal with a wolf who can’t control himself and who risks bringing too much attention to themselves or the pack. Generally speaking, it doesn’t involve shifting him around the country; the solution is usually somewhat more permanent.

  “Right, well I’ll be getting bac
k then. Donna’s been muttering something about shopping for Halloween outfits for the kids.”

  “Do you want a hand with the trick or treating?” Taking the kids round the estate is definitely a highlight of my year. Me leaving them full of sugar with their parents whilst I get to disappear home is not the highlight of Donna’s or Michael’s year, but it gets them out of having to dress up. The kids insist on their responsible adult being in costume too.

  “If you’re going to twist my arm. That’d be great.” He grabs his jacket from the arm of the sofa. “You okay to make your own way back then?” He asks Callum, who doesn’t seem to be showing any signs of getting ready to leave.

  “Aye, I think I can find ma way.”

  “Hmmmmm,” is Michael’s only answer until he gets to the door. “Can’t wait to see your costume, Becca. The devil one was a good ‘un.” Fortunately his grinning face disappears before I decide to throw one of the mugs after him.