Powerless

by Catherine Johnson

  “We’ve been over that.”

  “Aye, but I need tae know when you’re in danger, lass. I cannae rest easy as it is when I’m away from you.”

  I shrug and pull back a little. “I can manage.”

  “Manage is no’ the point, darlin’. You don’t have tae manage. You’re no’ on your own.”

  “Please Callum, if the fact that I don’t come running to you to solve all my problems is going to be an issue, for fuck’s sake say so now. I’m not going through all that bullshit again; someone telling me that they feel something for me then having a problem with the fact that I can stand on my on two feet.”

  This time his anger is very definitely aimed at me.

  “Are you jokin’, lass? You think I’m spinnin’ you a fuckin’ line?”

  I feel tiredness sweep over me again.

  “I don’t know. I don’t know what I think anymore. I haven’t got a fucking clue about anything any more, about what I can do, where I fit in to anything. I just don’t know.” I sound as defeated as I feel.

  He runs his palms from my back to my upper arms. For a moment, I think he might actually shake me. I’m not expecting it when he gently cradles my face, running his thumbs over my cheekbones. His voice, when he speaks, is low but intent.

  “You think I’m goin’ tae have a problem with that, lass? You think I’m going tae end up feelin’ threatened by you. Well you’re fucking wrong. I woudnae wish for different, couldnae wish for better than an alpha wolf tae call my mate. I doona like bein’ underestimated like that, lass.”

  I can’t move because of the way he’s holding my face and because of the kitchen counter I behind me. I think I’d like to take a step back in surprise.

  “What? Your mate? An alpha? Me?”

  “Donna and Michael didnae share their little theory with you either, lass? There was more tae runnin’ with the Belfast wolves last night than just makin’ maself known. They’ve got more mated pairs than our pack. I had some questions I needed answerin’ that were nothin’ tae do with Bryn or Daniel.”

  I feel like my head is full of cotton wool. “I’m your mate?”

  “Aye you are. D’you no’ feel it, lass?”

  “I don’t know. I don’t know anything about it. Donna and Michael describe it so intensely.”

  I can feel him stiffen, but his hands don’t leave my face.

  “You doona feel that way, lass?”

  I think back, really think back, about the week he’s been gone and before. I think about our run, about the kiss we shared before he left for London, about the way his scent calmed me the night I found out that it wasn’t Callum responsible for my turning into a werewolf, about the ease I feel with him, the attraction. Some of the cotton wool starts to clear.

  “I missed you. Really missed you. When you’re not here it’s like a piece of me is lost. When you are here, I need to be near you. I realised last night that I don’t recognise Daniel as my Alpha, because it’s you. Everything that happened last night was worse because you weren’t there. Not to protect me, but just to stand beside me.”

  “Aye lass, we’re stronger when we’re together. I’m no’ intimidated by you. I’m so fucking proud o’ you. You figured out that there was more we needed to know about Bryn and Daniel. The way you helped Donna. You’ve held it all together whilst I’ve been gone, even if I do wish I’d have known what you were up against. Jesus, lass, just the way you’ve taken to bein’ a wolf at all after the start you had. Uppin’ and leavin’ that wanker instead o’ stayin’ and bein his doormat. I’ll no’ turn on you like he did. I want you that strong, sweetheart. I want someone confident who’s a match for me, who’ll keep me on ma toes.”

  He’s looking at me so intently, his eyes are burning. With one hand he runs his fingers through my hair so gently. His other palm is still cradling my face.

  I’m stunned by his declaration. I don’t know how to tell him how I feel, how to explain fully what he’s come to mean to me. I follow the impulse that I wanted to give into the moment he walked into Donna and Michael’s house. My hands close, clutching fistfuls of his jumper as I steady myself. I’m so much shorter in my Converse that I have to rise up onto my toes to brush my lips against his.

  His beard is ever so slightly rough. I remember the comment I made the other night about it tickling me. Remembering the visual that went with the comment causes heat to flood trough me and I press my body against his in a futile attempt to quench the fire. His lips part and I don’t wait to be invited; I run my tongue along his. His hold on me tightens and he kisses me back fiercely. The world could end and we wouldn’t pay it any heed.

  When I lower myself back to my feet I’m breathless and he’s smiling broadly.

  “No’ tae mention lass that I think you’re the sexiest thing on four paws that I’ve ever come across.”

  I arch an eyebrow at him. “You want me furry?”

  “I’ll take you anyway I can get you, lass, but no’ tonight. Tonight I want you.” His voice drops to that low register that’s like a caress against my skin.

  I want another kiss, but he drops his hands from my face and the next thing I know, I’m in his arms.

  “That countertop’s for another night, lass.” His smile promises wicked things that do nothing to help me maintain any composure.

  He puts me down in the bedroom, cradles my face again and kisses me. There isn’t the room to fit a breath of wind between us. His fingers are light; I can barely feel them as they skim down my arms, down to the hem of the hoodie I’m wearing. He grasps the material and I lift my arms obligingly as he lifts it up and over my head, before tossing it in a corner. I mirror his action; I want to feel his skin on mine. He lets me tug his jumper off and then he’s kissing me again. I arch against him, clutching his arms, I need to press as much of my skin as possible against his. His palms are warm and dry as they roam over my back.

  Callum drops to his knees and gently grasps my calf, squeezing lightly to encourage me to lift my foot. I do so and he pulls my trainer off, repeating the process with my other leg. I’m looking down at him as he starts to undo my jeans.

  “Callum...”

  “Shhh, lass.”

  He pushes the denim over my hips and down my legs. I step out of my jeans and they fly across the room, following the other clothes. I’m stood before him in black lace. His desire is naked on his face. Between that, and the vision that is him clad only in jeans and boots and on his knees before me, my knees are weak. Callum seems to sense the tremble in my legs, but it doesn’t distract him. He runs his fingers up my thighs and over my hips, holding me steady as he leans forward. He nuzzles at my stomach, licking and nipping as he works his way lower.

  Any words I might have spoken dry to nothing as his mouth moves over the lace of my underwear. He hooks his thumbs into the waistband of my thong and slides it down, slowly. I have to steady myself with a hand on his shoulder to step out of it, but feeling muscle flex beneath my fingers doesn’t help. Neither does the fact that he returns to kiss my body. I’m sure I’m about to fall when he stands, running his hands up my body as he does, until he can unhook my bra. I let him help it fall from my shoulders and down my arms. I’m completely naked and he isn’t, but I don’t feel the least bit vulnerable; impatient and frustrated yes, but not vulnerable. I give my own hands free rein over his back and chest as I press myself to him, desperate to feel his body against mine. His jeans are rough against my skin, the metal in them a cold shock, an ice cube being dropped into a volcano.

  He kisses me deeply, then trails his mouth along my jaw to my neck. He nips his way down the side of my neck to my collar bone and quickly licks the first of the scars on my shoulder. The skin is sensitive there and I feel his tongue in places that it hasn’t been yet. My patience has just about run out. Enough of this. As pleasurable as it is, I need him. I step back, away from his hands. His brows draw in confusion until I climb onto the bed and lie down. The look he gives me could light a fire in t
he rain. He strips and joins me on the bed. The sight of his cock springing from his jeans, hard and hungry for me, causes my body to weep for his.

  I want everything that look promises me, but I don’t want to wait any longer. Being dominant as he is, he automatically lies over me. As we lose ourselves in another kiss I raise my leg¸ bent at the knee, and tilt my hips, my core seeking him. I need him in me. I need that solid heat that I can feel against my aching flesh. He breaks the kiss so that he can watch my expression as he catches my lead. I feel him nudging at my entrance, the feel of that hot silk makes me writhe, enough that he grips my hip to keep me still. The strength in that touch makes me moan, more so as he slides slowly into me, filling me. I match his dark-eyed stare as he begins to move in me. This is everything I had imagined and more. I tilt my head back, governed by the instinct to submit, to give him my neck. He takes my throat between his teeth and bites down lightly.

  I am overwhelmed by the feel of our bodies sliding against each other, by the feel of that beautiful cock of his filling me and stretching me. When he releases my neck and I meet his eyes again, he thrusts harder, faster. We’re surging against each other, struggling to hold on, slick with sweat. I can feel the orgasm growing, nearing. Callum cradles my face again; I don’t break his stare. I feel as though I’m staring into his soul as my world breaks apart at the seams.

  I return slowly to this consciousness. He’s still hard in me, still thrusting gently. I’m not done yet, and neither is he. I push his shoulder gently and he rolls over, taking me with him without slipping out of me. I settle myself on my knees and start to move. The penetration is deeper from this angle, which feels wonderful in itself, especially when he grasps my hips so that he can match my movements with upward thrusts of his own. I trace my hands over the solid wall of his chest, following the scars that litter his body; signs of a past spent fighting for his place in this life. I lean forward to kiss him and my hair falls around us, trapping us in a world of our own making.

  He growls against my lips and rolls us again, holding himself on straightened arms as he pushes into my body over and over. His own hair is escaping from its tie. I feed my fingers into it, bringing his mouth down to mine again. I can feel him speed up, lose control and then there it is; together we burst into flame. His yell of pleasure is brutal in its primacy.

  He drops onto his elbows, but is careful not to crush me. We both need to catch our breath. He’s still inside me, my body clenches instinctively, wringing a groan from us both. He flexes once, twice, and then rolls over, slipping from me. My body feels lost without his. I turn onto my side, lay my head in his chest, and listen to the steady, thick thump of his heart. His arms encircle me, holding me to him.

  I feel at peace. This is my home, here with him. Houses are nothing but bricks and mortar, dust given shape. Nothing matters except being able to hold each other. He is my centre, my strength, my Alpha and my mate.

  Chapter Twenty Four

  I wake with a feelin’ o’ completeness that I doona think I’ve ever felt. I’ve no idea what time it is, seems like she doesnae bother with any sort o’ clock in here. It’s still dark out, but since neither o’ us got around tae drawin’ the curtains last night, I can see clearly enough. My lass, my mate is layin’ on her side, between the window and me. What little light there is from window gilds the edges o’ her face and arm with silver. She’s still deeply asleep and I’ve no wish tae wake her; for now I’m happy just tae watch.

  I could never have imagined the pleasure I felt last night. The smell o’ her, the taste o’ her, that smooth skin, but even all o’ that was nothin’ compared tae finally bein’ with my mate. As I watch her in innocent sleep, those full lips parted a little, that mass o’ hair the colour o’ chocolate strewn over her pillow, I vow tae myself that I’ll kill anyone who even dares think tae hurt her. I know I’m goin’ tae wake her, but I need tae touch her, it’s no’ enough anymore tae patiently watch. I shift closer so that I can slip my arms around her and bring her against ma chest. Ma soul is at peace.

  I feel it when she starts tae wake. She murmurs and slips her arm around ma chest, holdin’ me. It makes me feel like a naive kid tae admit how good that feels. I smooth ma hand over her back, bein’ careful not tae catch what’s left o’ her injury from the other night. Anger for the one who hurt her returns, but it’s swiftly chased away when I feel her leg slip over mine. The sight o’ her lookin’ up at me from ma chest with those big eyes o’ hers and her hair all mussed is one that’ll stay with me ‘til I’m in ma grave.

  “Mornin’ lass.”

  “Morning.”

  It’s a good job she didnae know me when I was eighteen, or she wouldnae have been leavin’ this bed for a week. If she keeps movin’ her leg like that, though, she’ll no be leavin’ it any time soon.

  “D’you no’ feel like ringin’ in sick, darlin’?”

  “Hmmmmm, yes. But don’t you have a job to go to too?”

  “No’ today. Lee got back from that stag do on Saturday, but they were out on the piss again all weekend. We’re no’ startin’ back ‘til tomorrow.”

  Those wee fingers tracin’ over ma chest are mightily distractin’. She slides her body up mine tae reach me for a kiss. With no clock I cannae be sure, but if she’s no’ plannin’ on phonin’ in, she’s probably goin’ tae be late. For ma part I doona care.

  I was ready for her before I’d woken. I’d be concerned about the wee lass bein’ sore after last night, except she’s kissin’ her way down may neck and chest and that’s even more distractin’ than her fingers. I want tae taste her mouth again, and more o’ her. There’s so many ways I want tae explore this beautiful body o’ hers, but she seems intent on a little exploration o’ her own. I feel those pretty lips close around me and I cannae help but moan.

  As lovely as this is, I want more. I’m about tae tell her as much when she releases me and moves up over me. She leans down tae kiss me, I run ma fingers intae that hair o’ hers as she does; but I feel her grasp me in her fist tae hold me steady and then she’s sinkin’ down ontae me, ownin’ me, welcomin’ all o’ me intae her. Ahhh, ma mate’s no’ shy about takin’ what she wants from me.

  I let her move at her own pace a while, it’s a sight to behold, watchin’ her rise and fall on me. It’s no’ long before I need to be masterin’ her, though, and I roll us over until she’s under me. We doona speak. There’s only the sound o’ our breathin’ in the room. It’s still dark and it feels like we’re the only two people alive on the earth.

  When I feel her body start tae tighten around mine I know she’s close. I drive harder intae her wee body, I cannae control maself. I look her in the eyes, willin’ her tae meet ma gaze and let me in as the pleasure takes her. She complies, and witnessin’ that undoes me. Our eyes stay fixed on each other as I release inside her.

  I’m careful no’ tae lay all o’ ma weight on the lass, but it’s a sorry thing when I have tae slip free o’ her. She’s about tae curl intae my side again when music starts playin’ from some random corner o’ the room. She scrambles outae the bed until she finds her jeans, and in findin’ them, her phone, which is playin’ the music.

  “Who’s callin’ at this time, lass?”

  “It’s not, it’s my alarm.”

  “You goin’ tae go in?”

  I think I’m goin’ tae come tae love that wicked smile o’ hers.

  “No. I’ll call in about an hour; let them know they won’t be seeing me today.”

  “Best get yourself back in bed sweetheart before you catch your death o’ cold then.”

  “Tempting, but I’m starving. I’m going to grab a shower, then I’ll cook breakfast.”

  She disappears out the bedroom door. Mate or no’, I might be in love with this lass, especially when she leans back around the door frame about five minutes later with a saucy smile.

  “Aren’t you joining me then?”

  After I get tae live out ma fantasy o’ takin’ her in the shower, which
is better than any fantasy I might have dreamt up, we dress so we can eat in comfort. She calls intae work first, tellin’ them a tale about a stomach bug she caught at weekend and is still recoverin’ from. She starts puttin’ together scrambled eggs, sausages and toast. There’s no’ much room in the little kitchen area, but that makes it more fun as I sort out the brews whilst she’s cookin’.

  We’re comfortable together in a way I welcome. I know now that that’s no’ a part o’ the mate bond, we’re just lucky that way. The bond is no’ like some sort o’ hypnosis that forces couples together, it’s more o’ an addition tae a relationship, an added bonus. Unfortunately for some, that doesnae mean that their lives together with their mates are always smooth sailin’. Personalities can still clash, even in mates that have been together for years, but they tell me the feelin’ o’ connection makes it all worthwhile.

  When we’re done eatin’, we share the clearin’ away and sort out another couple o’ mugs o’ coffee. We sit on the rug in front o’ the window as we drink them, watchin’ the day happen on the other side o’ the valley, buses and cars jockeyin’ for space on the road, kids bein’ walked tae school and the like.