Belonging

by Karen Ann Hopkins

  She pulled the phone out and began to hand it to the bishop, but Rose stopped her and said, “You’ll need to start it for him.”

  “Oh, yeah,” Summer said. She pressed a few places and slid her fingers along the screen.

  She held up the phone close to his face.

  Martha had risen from her seat and was now peeking around Abram to view the video for herself. I watched as both of their eyes lit up in surprise, either from the technology or Levi’s words and actions. By the end, Abram was shaking his head and pulling his beard.

  “A disgrace, that boy is,” Abram said, pushing his wife, whose face was as pale as vanilla ice cream, in the direction of her former seat. The bishop ordered Summer to show the video to each of the other men, with Mervin being the last to view it. By the time Mervin sat down, he’d clearly changed his mind on the matter.

  Abram motioned for Rose and Summer to return to the couch. A minute later he pulled the kitchen chair that Marcus had brought to him up close to their knees. The girls looked more confident now that the ministers had seen with their own eyes what had happened.

  Marcus sat on the chair closest to me, and Father remained standing, pretending to search out the window. There was still tension in the air, and I knew that we were just beginning.

  “Your mother drives Amish, doesn’t she?” Abram asked Summer.

  “Yes, but I don’t see...” Summer’s voice was clear and collected as she began, only to be cut off by the bishop right quick.

  “It doesn’t matter whether you understand my questions—just that you answer them,” he said, leaning back into the chair and sighing. He definitely wasn’t used to dealing with English girls.

  He continued to grill Summer.

  “And you occasionally spend time with the young women of our community?”

  “Ah, yes, sometimes.” Summer wasn’t giving more information than she had to.

  “Which girls?” Abram asked.

  I didn’t know if Abram picked up on it or not, but the girl was beginning to seem amused, her lips pressed together, although she was trying hard to contain it.

  Abram grew impatient, and he motioned in quick hand jerks for her to continue.

  “Which girls?” She repeated the question to herself and glanced at Rose before saying, “Well, I’ve been real busy lately, and I don’t guess I’ve been around anyone recently.”

  Abram’s words grew louder with his irritation. “When you do come around here, girl, who do you spend time with? Please just answer me.”

  She stalled, not wanting to speak, but I saw Rose poke softly at Summer’s thigh to get the girl talking.

  “Usually, Suzanna and Miranda, but I’ve hung out with Sarah, too—and, of course, Rose.” She smiled, probably trying to throw the bishop off the trail.

  “And why were you in that lower barn today?” Abram’s voice was low and steady again.

  Maybe even he realized that he’d get further with honey than vinegar with these girls.

  As if it were a rehearsed speech, Summer said, “Well, you see, I met up with Rose at the wagons and she told me all about how she loved being Amish and all, but that she missed talking to one of her old girlfriends. A girl named Amanda. Well, Rose was wondering how she was doing and how the school year was going for her...”

  Here, Abram began flapping his hand again to encourage Summer to get to the point.

  “...and stuff like that. So, I suggested that Rose use my phone to give her friend a call, but Rose didn’t want to. She was afraid that she’d be going against your rules, and she did not want to do that.”

  Abram had it with Summer, and his tone showed it. “Yes, I understand all that, but, why...why were you in that barn?”

  Summer became more animated, saying, “Oh, it was my idea that we go find a place where she could make the call in private. The little barn at the back of the property was the perfect place.”

  “To sneak off and get into trouble,” Mervin threw in unexpectedly.

  “That will be enough, Mervin,” Abram told the other man as if he were talking to a child.

  Mervin’s red face and tight lip indicated that he wasn’t happy about the rebuff.

  Abram went on talking to Summer. “Now let me get this straight. You went down to the barn to meet Rose so that she could use your phone to make a call, is that correct?”

  “Yep,” Summer nodded.

  “And, at some point, before Rose had the chance to use your phone, Levi showed up?”

  “Uh-huh.”

  “And you were hiding behind a bale of hay and decided to videotape your friend being harassed, instead of going to her aid?” Abram said in a quiet, but very confident voice.

  Summer’s face faltered for a second, then she recovered. “Well, it was a total shock ’n’ all, but...well, I never did like Levi Zook. He always gave me the jitters, staring at me when I’d be visiting with Miranda...and I was kind of afraid of him.”

  She glanced at Rose who looked away—Summer was on her own with this one.

  “Honest, I would’ve helped her out if Noah hadn’t shown up.” She paused to gauge where Abram’s mindset was. She must have realized she hadn’t convinced him, so she blurted out, “It’s just what English kids like me do nowadays, we videotape stuff that happens. You know...things that are really interesting, like car wrecks, catfights...a kid being picked on....”

  Summer would have rattled on forever if the bishop’s hand hadn’t come out to silence her.

  Headlights shone through the window as a vehicle pulled into the driveway, and Abram said to Summer, “Is that your ride?”

  “Yeah, probably my mom’s here,” she replied.

  Abram breathed deeply and said, “Young lady, you will need to take a break from your visits with the girls in our community.”

  “But...” Summer’s face dropped, and I felt sorry for her.

  Abram cut her off again. “Our young people have enough to deal with, without the type of temptations that an English girl like you brings to the table.”

  “For how long?” Summer asked. Her voice was deflated.

  Before Abram could answer, Martha cleared her voice and said, “Since this is the child’s first offense, and she’s never been a problem before, maybe you could find it in your heart, Abram, to be lenient with her.”

  I was shocked that Martha had spoken. The other three men in the room were also staring at the bishop’s wife, disbelieving looks on their faces.

  Abram glanced from Martha to Summer and then back to Martha, who smiled at him in one of those wifely “do what I ask or I’m going to make your life miserable” kind of ways.

  Abram was a pain in the backside most of the time, but he was a smart man.

  He said to Summer, “Two months will be sufficient—this time.”

  Summer’s phone went off, making everyone jump, except for Rose, who was still overly subdued despite everything going on.

  Summer glanced at the screen and announced to the room, “My mom wants me to hurry.”

  “All right, you’re dismissed,” Abram said to Summer, although she was already rising to leave.

  As she walked by I heard her mumble, “Mom won’t be happy about this.”

  I wondered if anyone else heard.

  Everyone’s attention turned now to Rose.

  She waited patiently, her hands folded on her lap, as if she didn’t have a care in the world. The picture was completely out of character for a girl who was one of the most anxious people I knew.

  “Now...what do we do about you?” Abram said thoughtfully, staring at Rose.

  “I think you ought to be more concerned with Levi than with me,” she said, sitting up straighter. “What kind of punishment is he going to get?”

  My father joined the conversation.

  “Yes, Abram, the girl is right. What are your plans for Levi?” he asked.

  Abram sighed, sinking back in his chair. At that moment he seemed as old as he was for a change.


  “Obviously, Levi’s actions were terrible—he will be dealt with accordingly.” His eyes met Father’s. “Don’t worry on that account.”

  Mervin’s voice shot though the room. “But this girl was with our community on the trial basis of her being well behaved—and she’s caused this ruckus with her actions.”

  Martha, with a disapproving frown, said to Mervin, “Don’t you go accusing this poor girl of starting it up with Levi. That video clearly showed that she was the victim of Levi’s disgusting appetites.”

  “That’s not what I’m saying, Martha. If she were where she was supposed to be, nothing would have happened.”

  “There’s no excuse in the world for Levi to have behaved the way he did with this girl, or any other one,” she said with finality, leaving no room for an argument.

  “You still aren’t getting my point, Martha.” Mervin settled back into his side of the sofa, resigned to let the woman win if his weaker voice were any indication.

  “It seems that we have two matters here that are separate and not connected,” Abram said as he stood up and took his preaching stance. “First, Levi was completely in the wrong, and it worries me to think that if the redheaded English girl hadn’t taped the incident, we might have been inclined to believe Levi’s rapt denials. But as it worked out, modern technology was beneficial to us and we were given a window into the truth.” He paused to look everyone in the eye before he went on to say, “And Levi will face the consequences of his actions toward this girl.” He pointed to Rose, and I wondered if he’d forgotten her name.

  “The second issue is that Rose disobeyed our rules by attempting to use a cell phone in secret.” He stopped to think and smoothed down his white beard. “Honestly, such an indiscretion by any of the youth in our community, especially the first time, would not be a serious matter.” The bishop looked with resolve directly at Mervin as he finished his thought. “So it would be unfair to Rose to treat her more severely, because she was not born into our ways.”

  I swiveled in my seat to see Mervin’s reaction. He frowned but held his tongue.

  Father spoke, “So this incident will not be held against Rose?”

  Abram shook his head and answered, “It’s not as if she went out and purchased a phone for her own use. I think it is up to James to punish her as he sees fit for this violation.”

  James had remained quiet the entire time, sitting in a chair in the corner. I’d forgotten about him. But now he had something to say, and he said it with surety.

  “I wasn’t the happiest fellow in the community when I learned that an English girl was joining our family—and all because she fancied one of our handsome young bucks.” He smiled at Rose and continued. “But I have discovered over the past two months that this young lady is a hard worker. She’s proven to be dedicated, polite and resourceful. Above all else, she has impressed me with her willingness to listen and learn.” He nodded his head and faced Abram. “I believe Rose would make a fine addition to our church and I request that she’s allowed to join with the others in a couple of weeks.”

  Rose’s eyes bugged out, and her mouth opened—finally, some reaction from her. My own heart beat heavily in my chest.

  We were almost there, almost together.

  Mervin stood up and said loudly, “But she hasn’t even had time for all the training. And then there’s the matter of her boots.”

  James snorted, showing some fire in his blood. I wondered myself what the hell Mervin was talking about—boots?

  Rose had the look of opening her mouth to speak, but Martha, seeing that Rose was getting worked up, rescued my girl by explaining, “You see, Rose, it was brought to our attention by one of the young women in our community—” her eyes had strayed just long enough to Mervin that I knew it must be Ella “—that you wear special boots when riding your horse, boots that normally wouldn’t be allowed for us.” Martha sounded almost apologetic.

  Rose couldn’t hold it in any longer. She blurted out a “Huh?” with a confused face.

  Abram must have been itching to get out of there, because his impatience was spilling over again. “The boots you wear—the boots. They’re unacceptable—much too flashy for our girls.”

  “But, they’re just old brown lace-ups,” Rose argued. I wished that I could move invisibly and place my hand over her mouth.

  “Again, it doesn’t matter what you think, young lady, as long as you obey,” Abram said. The man’s frustration was obvious.

  To my relief, Rose held her tongue.

  It seemed that at this sign of obedience from Rose, the bishop had made his decision. He said to the other adults in the room, “James Hershberger is an honorable and wise man. If he believes that this young woman is ready to join our people, then I will support him. After all, I’ve been keeping an extra close eye on her, and she has, for the most part, behaved admirably.” He eyed Rose seriously before continuing. “The fact that the girl is still among us after two months of living our ways shows that she has the type of resiliency that might make her a good woman in the eyes of the Lord.”

  For dramatic effect, Abram spread his arms and asked the room, “Who are we to keep a person who is so determined and has proven herself fit for our Plain ways from reaching that goal?”

  The question seemed to settle over the room. Glancing at Rose, I could see that she, like me, was holding her breath.

  Father said, “I support James’s request wholeheartedly.” But he was still stoic, not celebrating just yet.

  Marcus’s voice came out more firmly than I expected when he said, “I accept this girl into our church.” He looked relieved that he’d spoken and gotten it over with.

  We all turned to Mervin, who coughed out, “So be it, then.”

  My gut was on fire. Rose had done it. Somehow, my little English girl had worked her charms on the ministers. Except for Mervin, who—because of Ella—no amount of charm would have swayed.

  I focused my sight on Rose, and my heart hammered loudly enough for everyone to hear. She smiled softly, almost shyly at me.

  “I guess it’s official, then. Rose, you’ll be one of us now,” Martha said, crossing the room and embracing Rose tightly.

  Rose’s eyes met mine briefly, and my blood slowed. Her mouth could lie, but those beautiful eyes couldn’t.

  She was terrified.

  15

  Rose

  I closed my eyes, thinking back to a trip we took to Walt Disney World a few years earlier. Life had been easier then—and very different. Mom had been healthy and full of energy, going on all the rides with me, Sam and Justin. Dad didn’t enjoy the amusement park attractions, so she’d always been the one on the roller coasters, screaming with her hands up.

  It was funny to think that I hadn’t even known that Noah existed back then. I certainly had never given a thought that there were people in the middle of the country who lived their lives as if they were stuck in a time warp. Buggies, caps and three-hour church services hadn’t even occurred to me in those days.

  Everything had changed.

  Listening to Bishop Lambright drone on and on, my mind had completely fogged over. The soft press of Suzanna and Miranda’s bodies on either side of me was the only thing that told me that I wasn’t dreaming. Yes, I really was sitting in a small room, adjacent to the schoolhouse, receiving my final lecture from the bishop.

  The classes that I’d attended the previous weeks had been pretty much the same. Bishop Lambright had spent hours cementing into each of our skulls the ways of the Amish people, which were governed by the community’s Ordnung. He’d taken special care to impart onto us the seriousness of the vows we were taking to the Amish church.

  Now here I was, within an hour of becoming officially an Amish woman. I’d agreed to obey a doctrine that I didn’t understand, and to be honest, really didn’t believe in. I felt as if I was a fraud. And to make matters worse, the seriousness of what I was about to do had been weighing heavily on me for several days. I’d barely
been able to keep food in my queasy belly, and, at the moment, I wasn’t feeling any better. Butterflies raced around inside of me in a chaotic frenzy, and I rubbed my sweaty palms together in an attempt to erase the wetness.

  Lifting my head, I glanced around to see how the others were holding up. Timothy looked calm and resigned. He was leaning back in his chair, staring into thin air with his eyes glazed over. John, who sat to his left, had his head resting on the palms of his hands. Occasionally he tapped his fingers, but otherwise he appeared resolute. Joshua, on the other hand, sat slouched with his feet fidgeting to the point of annoyance. When Josh’s gaze rose, he quickly looked away when he saw me watching him. The kid was always a nervous wreck, and if I paid too much attention to him, I’d absorb his constant agitation, making me even more uptight than usual.

  Suzanna must have felt it, too. She placed her steady hand on my knee and squeezed. Her reassuring touch made me feel a little better, if not more confused. The rambunctious girl whom I’d gone running through the woods with the first week that I was with the Amish was still in there—as I could tell from her sparkling eyes—but that girl was now hidden most of the time. Ever since Suzanna had announced that she would join the church, she was a changed person. I’d watched in disbelief as she began to spend more time with the other women on Sundays. She was careful not to be seen talking to Timothy by his buggy on Sunday mornings or at the nets after the singings. Somehow, she’d managed to control her barking laughter, which now seldom erupted from her mouth. If it did, she’d quickly bring herself under control after glancing around worriedly.

  Even though Suzanna appeared to have had her body snatched by an alien, Miranda was the one who’d shocked me the most. When she’d told me that she was joining the church, I’d felt a mixture of happiness for her that she’d chosen to be with Matthew and utter disgust that she’d given in so easily. She was the one whom I’d thought would hold out longer, be the quiet warrior that I’d imagined that she was.

  Miranda’s behavior hadn’t changed as dramatically as Suzanna’s had, though. She’d always been as silent as a church mouse, blending in with her surroundings. I shifted my eyes and studied her next. She sat perfectly straight and still. Her eyes were fixed on a point on the opposite wall, and I followed the path of her gaze to see the cross on the wall.