Insolita Luna

by M. J. O'Shea

  Monday morning, on the other hand, reminded me it probably wasn’t a good idea to get too comfortable too fast.

  “You can’t go to class.” PC’s voice was a little panicky, but I figured he was mostly kidding.

  “It’ll be fine, I think. We talked about it yesterday. Our bond shouldn’t freak out if it knows we’re going to come back to each other soon.”

  “Yeah, but it already hurts a little. I don’t like it.”

  “Are you serious?” He gave me a petulant look, reminiscent of one of the ones I’d gotten the day before. “PC, I’ve gotta go to class. I can’t flunk out.”

  “Why does that matter? If you’re going to eventually be a lycan and live like I do, then why it’s so important that you go to college?”

  “It’s important to me! And my mother, by the way. Like hunting is important to you. Why are you acting so weird?”

  He harrumphed and flopped back on the pillow. “I hate this. I’m acting weird because I’m feeling weird… and insecure and not like myself. Like Zack said at the bookstore. I want to run like hell from this whole situation, but I can’t stand to let you go long enough to do it. I feel like I’m getting ripped into two pieces. I’m talking about my feelings.” He punched a pillow. “It’s enough to make me want to scream.”

  I didn’t understand his problem. Despite the drama of the day before, my whole body wanted to be with him, no questions asked. There was no way I was going to give up going to college, though. He was going to live with that whether he wanted to or not.

  “You’re going to have to let me go, PC. For a few hours, at least.”

  The petulant look returned to his face. “And if it starts to hurt worse?”

  “Then I’ll come back. Okay?”

  He looked unsure and agitated, probably neither one of them familiar emotions until I came into his life. I doubted he appreciated the fact that I made him feel that way or really feel anything at all.

  We finally settled on me trying to go to school and him doing whatever it was he usually did during the day; which turned out to be sleeping. He said it was unusual for him to be up during the day, since lycans tended to be fairly nocturnal, and him even more so since he spent most of his time with vampires. I told him to try to go back to sleep, then got ready for class, hoping I was right and the crippling pain wouldn’t start the second I was more than a few feet away.

  The look he gave me when I went to leave made my heart thump painfully.

  “I want to kiss you,” he said quietly, nearly a whisper.

  “Me too, PC,” You have no idea how much more I want to do than just kiss. “But kissing’s off limits, along with everything else that feels good.” I stopped myself before I made it any worse. “Hey, I’ll let you know when I’m on my way home, okay? Try to go back to bed.”

  “Yeah, I’ll try.” He growled lowly and flopped back against my pillows. It looked like he was trying not to pout, which was actually kind of adorable. I smiled to myself as I waved to him one last time and left my dorm for the short but chilly walk to my first class.

  By the time I reached class, it seemed likely that my theory was going to be right. The bond didn’t want for me to be away from him, and my body was uncomfortable at best, but so far, as long as we both knew it was temporary and we were still coming back to each other, it wasn’t excruciating.

  I sat in my three classes twitching nervously. Even though I wasn’t moving, I felt like I was being drawn back to my apartment, my bed, and PC. Just the thought of him lying in a cocoon of covers, shirtless and velvety warm, was enough to make my stomach curl into little slivers of heat. It was close to impossible to pay attention to my professor droning on about Joseph Conrad and symbolism in Heart of Darkness.

  Oh God, was I supposed to read that last week?

  I vaguely remembered the novel sitting on my pile of secondhand textbooks. Seeing as though most of the other students had their copy on top of their notebooks, the answer was probably yes.

  Get it together, Miles. I hadn’t come all the way to New York to fail out of school. No, you came to find PC; you just didn’t know it yet. But I still had to produce some kind of diploma eventually so my mother didn’t have a heart attack.

  Finally, my morning classes were over and I trudged to the library, hoping they had a copy of the book in. If not, I was going to have to run to my room to get mine—and deal with the temptation that was there. I needed to get it at least mostly read by class the next day, which meant before work that evening. I hated being unprepared and realistically knew I had about zero chance of getting any reading done when I was with PC. At least not with the thoughts I’d been having about him all morning. None of them included staying clothed, let alone doing anything that remotely resembled homework.

  Luckily, the library had one raggedy old copy, which I gratefully checked out. I was about to curl into my customary seat way in the back when I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. I pulled it out and flipped it open, smiling at the message inside.

  This sucks. I can’t sleep without you. Come home… please. It hurts.

  He was right. The ache in my stomach had been growing. I was already so used to it that I hadn’t really paid it much attention until he’d said it. As soon as I noticed it, I couldn’t concentrate on anything else. I needed to get my reading done, but suddenly it was the last thing on my mind.

  I have to work tonight, remember? I’m at the library trying to get my reading for class done. Where are you?

  I’m still at your place, of course. I’ll let you do your reading, I promise… please, please, please. We can cheat a little :)

  A flash of heat swept through me. It was a bad idea. I didn’t think we’d stop at a little. Besides, if I caved every time he wanted me near him, I might as well say “Walk all over me, I don’t mind.”

  I should do my classwork at the library where I can concentrate. And we can’t cheat. You know that.

  I needed to be stubborn; I needed to stand my ground, but Jesus, my body hurt. Just the thought of touching him, even a little bit, made shivers race over my skin that healed the ache to a point but at the same time made it that much more unbearable. It was inevitable that I’d cave.

  Arrggh! Fine. This is a bad idea, you know. I’m on my way.

  A minute later his reply beeped in. I could almost see the grin in his words.

  I’m waiting for you. Hurry!

  I shoved the book into my backpack and scurried out of the library into the afternoon glow. I was so intent on getting back to my apartment that I ran smack into someone at the bottom of the library stairs, nearly knocking them over.

  “Jesus, Miles. Where’s the fire?”

  Thank God it was only Lisa.

  I grinned sheepishly. “Sorry. I was rushing home to get some stuff done before work.”

  She gave me a long contemplative look. “You seem awfully happy. What happened yesterday? You know, I was waiting for news.”

  “It can’t be broken.”

  “Like ever?”

  “Yeah, like ever. PC’s mother said they wouldn’t even if they could because it’s so rare. And they’re going to change me, Lis. I’m going to be one of them.”

  “Oh, you suck.” She punched me in the arm.

  “What?”

  “I’m stuck being boring me and in one weekend, look what happened to you!”

  I laughed. “I’ll see if they can put in a petition to change you too.” She looked at me serenely. “Lisa, you know I was kidding, right? You don’t really want to become a―” I didn’t want to say it aloud on a crowded stairwell.

  “Says who?”

  I chuckled and shoved at her gently.

  “So how’s lover boy handling the news? He seemed like he really wanted it to be broken.”

  I sighed. “He did. And ‘not well’ is the answer to your question. It’s better today, but yesterday was major drama. Then he realized I wouldn’t let him touch me if I was mad. And he wants to touch me; the
bond takes care of that. So he’s started being, uh, nicer.” I colored and she laughed out loud.

  “Well, then, maybe I should let you go and, uh, get stuff done before work.”

  I shoved her jokingly again. “Shut up! You know, I think you should meet Leila. You two have an awful lot in common.”

  “The vampire chick?” she whispered after looking around. “I’d love to meet a vampire!”

  “You already have. Zack, remember? But I’ll bring you next time we’re all hanging out. That is, if PC and I don’t get in another fight and kill each other before that happens.”

  Lisa rolled her eyes. “You’ll be fine. And, yeah, you better invite me next time. I feel left out!”

  “I will. You’ll have fun with everyone. Plus, you still haven’t seen Noah.” I smirked knowingly.

  “I’m drooling already.”

  I snickered and started to head down the stairs but waved before I walked away toward my building.

  “WHERE WERE you? I’ve been waiting forever,” PC groaned as he impatiently pulled me into my apartment and slammed the door behind me. The crappy old place looked a ton better with him in it.

  “Ran into Lisa, but only for a few―”

  He crushed my lips with his. My books were dropped, forgotten, and I hungrily pulled at his shirt, trying to get to his skin.

  “Just a little cheating, okay? Kissing and stuff.”

  I made a happy mumbling noise against his mouth.

  “We shouldn’t.” I tried, I really did. But all of a sudden I couldn’t talk anymore with his lips plastered to mine.

  “I know.” PC broke away panting and gave me a helpless grin. “Just a few kisses. Nothing else. I couldn’t take it anymore.”

  “It hasn’t even been… oh…. Mmmm.”

  He went for the hem of my shirt. It was such a relief to feel his fingertips on my skin. Even though it had only been a few hours, I felt like I’d been craving his touch for a lifetime.

  “This sucks. I want you so bad,” he ground out before suctioning his lips to my neck.

  “Don’t say that unless you’re planning on doing something about it.” I growled and cupped my hands around his round butt, pulling him as close as I could.

  It didn’t take us long at all to be on my bed, shirts hitched up, legs tangled, breathing hard and rubbing against each other. Any thought of protesting had fled my mind the second his lean, solid body was on top of mine.

  “Oh God.”

  “Yeah, that’s… uhhh,” I had to hold my breath for a second. Then I grabbed his hips to hold him still. “PC, you gotta stop. I’m going to―” It was too late. I’d tried to hold it back, but the waves of sensation wouldn’t be contained. I came with a shuddering sob, holding on to him and arching my body into his, riding it all the way until I was panting and silent… not to mention totally embarrassed.

  “Um, damn. That was more than kissing,” PC mumbled against my neck.

  I snorted and hid my red face against his neck. “You started it.”

  “I know. I’m not very good at rules, I guess. Hey, at least we didn’t―”

  I raised my eyebrows. “We didn’t?”

  He shrugged it off. “It was definitely cheating, and we shouldn’t do it again, but I doubt it’ll be major trouble.”

  “Almost, though. And if you’d started that….”

  He chuckled softly. “Maybe being apart for long stretches isn’t the best idea. It doesn’t seem to lead to us controlling ourselves.” There was no missing the irony in his voice.

  “No kidding.” I pulled his arm tighter around my waist, tangling our fingers together and smiling quietly. I tried to be sorry, but I couldn’t muster up the emotion. My body was loose-limbed and happy to be in the place it had longed for all day. I stroked my thumb along PC’s wrist. I think I could easily fall for you.

  The thought slipped so easily into my mind. Even in my blissed-out state, I knew it was nothing but trouble. Keep that one to yourself, Miles.

  PC was nowhere near ready to hear it.

  Chapter 9: The Non-Hunt

  I WAS more glad for Saturday than I’d ever remembered being in my life. The past five days of class had been excruciating. Our bodies could, and did, stand being apart for the time it took me to go to school every day but it was hard. Really hard. I was mostly just taking up space in class, barely paying attention, cursorily taking notes. My brain, my mind, every conscious cell I had stayed with PC, waiting for the moment we could be touching again. It was really inconvenient, physically annoying, and it didn’t seem to be getting much better.

  I guessed that my body was still unsure of PC’s feelings. That was the only explanation for why it wasn’t getting any easier to be away from him. It was hard to be unconcerned about someone leaving you when you looked at them and could swear by their halfway-to-freaked-out face that they’re about to take off sprinting. He wasn’t like that all the time. On the two days I had writing class, he nearly pawed me at the classroom door when he met me so he could walk with me to work. But other times? Pure panic. I sincerely hoped I didn’t have years and years ahead of me waiting for him to bolt at any second.

  To be honest, I got it sometimes. As much as the bond made me want him, as much as I myself was starting to want him… the thought of forever was scary. It was. Didn’t mean I liked it when he looked like he wanted to take off.

  Saturday had been blissful so far. I supposed it was probably hard for us to mess it up when one of us was still asleep. I didn’t have to go anywhere until work later that afternoon, and I was mostly awake but lounging, floating peacefully with the still-sleeping PC cuddled in front of me. We’d gotten into the habit of sleeping most nights with bottoms on, but no shirts. It hadn’t taken us long to realize it was more irritating than anything else to have fabric between our skin―much easier to sleep without.

  He wiggled in my arms, waking slowly and turning to brush a soft kiss across my collarbone.

  “Morning,” he mumbled against my skin.

  I chuckled. “Morning? It’s nearly noon, you know.”

  “Yeah, but what time did we get home from my apartment? Wasn’t it almost four?”

  “Yeah. I feel bad for Lisa. She’s gotta drive all the way to Connecticut today for her brother’s birthday party.”

  PC groaned. “A bunch of screaming kids? And she’s probably hung over. We had a lot of those hurricane things last night.”

  “I feel fine, so she probably does too―and no, not screaming kids. Her brother’s sixteen. I think they’re going to the Cheesecake Factory or something.”

  PC perked up. “Really? Text her and tell her to bring me back a slice of Oreo cheesecake. I love that stuff.”

  “You live in New York and you want a piece of cheesecake from―” I chuckled. “Never mind. I’ll ask.”

  “Thanks.” He bounded out of bed. “I gotta take a shower. How long till we need to be at the bookstore?”

  “Two hours.”

  “Sweet. Then I’m taking you out for breakfast. I need an omelet from The Sunriser if I’m going to face the rest of the day.”

  “Do you ever think about anything other than food?”

  He cocked his head and gave me a sly grin. “Yeah.”

  I threw a pillow at him. “Why you gotta say stuff like that when you’re not going to do anything about it?”

  “I didn’t even say anything!” he protested.

  “You implied it.” I shoved at him. “Go get a shower before I decide I’m going to get in there with you.”

  PC’s eyes rolled back in his head. “I wish.”

  MY BODY felt like it was going to explode from the agony coursing through it. I’d never experienced anything even close to its equal, not at the beginning when I didn’t know where he was, not when we’d been fighting. The pain was unparalleled.

  PC had just gotten off the phone with Zack, who’d called while I was closing the bookstore to tell him the crew had gotten notice of some wild shape-shifting
monster thing that had taken residence in an apartment building in Chinatown. He was looking at me, face excited, eyes hopeful, having explained what the creature was and exactly why he totally needed to go help his friends stop it.

  “PC, I don’t think you should go. I don’t have a good feeling about this.”

  He looked at me, his eyes flashing between rage and pain. The excited happiness I’d seen just moments before was gone.

  “And you can go to class? What the hell―your life goes on as planned and everything I live for is too dangerous?”

  Here we go again. “It is dangerous, PC! And don’t try to tell me that going out looking for some murderous banshee—”

  “Bakemono.”

  “Whatever. I don’t care what the thing is—it’s obviously major bad news if I’m reacting like this. Don’t tell me that this is anything like me going to English classes for a few hours. You could die out there—and if you die, I’m pretty sure I’d die too. Do you want that on your conscience?”

  “I thought I was very clear about who I was when we started this.” His voice had gone all quiet, which to me was way scarier than the blustery shouting. “I’m a hunter and I’m a lycan. I’ve never wanted to be anything else.”

  I took a deep breath. “I know. If I could change all of this right now, I would. It’s not me that wants you to stay away from the hunt, it’s this.” I gestured at my body wildly, trying to get him to understand. “It’s your body too. I can tell by the look on your face that it hurts. A lot.”

  I had him on that one. His face screwed up and started to turn red. “Fuck! Fuck the bond, fuck the lycans, and fuck you!”

  “The bond and the lycans I’ll take, but it’s not fair to blame me! You’ve said yourself that none of this is my fault.”

  He gave me a mutinous glare. “I don’t care what my mom says, this bond has to go. My friends need me.”