Insolita Luna

by M. J. O'Shea

  “Do they need you, or do you need the hunt?” Looking back, it probably wasn’t the smartest choice of questions.

  “I need to live my own life. I need to be at my place hanging out with my friends, walking around the streets in the middle of the night actually being a damn lycan, not tied to you like some pathetic jerk who somehow lost his own balls.”

  That one got to me. I was done reasoning. “You know what you can do with your balls? Screw yourself. I’m going home, and unless you want to die from us being separated for too long, I think you should come with me. God, I’m so tired of listening to you bitch about something neither one of us can control.”

  I’d never blown up like that at anyone, but PC was a master at pushing my buttons. Maybe because the biggest button I had, the biggest button I’d ever had in my life, was the one that lit up every time I thought about the fact that PC didn’t really want me. It made me angry enough to scream.

  He growled. Actually growled, not a half growl or an irritated noise in the back of his throat, but a full on “I hate you” rumble.

  “I’m talking to the council tomorrow. I refuse to do this for the rest of my life; I don’t care about their stupid fucking traditions.”

  He stomped out the door to the sidewalk, where he sank down to his haunches on the damp cement. Part of me wanted to chase after him and throw it in his face that the council couldn’t change us even if they wanted to, but my insides twitched nauseatingly at the idea of making the argument worse than it already was. So instead, I did a half-assed job of cleaning the store, made sure my register was closed, then gathered my jacket and keys, every part of me sick and hurting the entire time.

  When we got home, he undressed silently and laid down in the tiniest corner of the bed with his back to me. I wanted so desperately to crawl over and wrap myself around him, but his body language was saying “don’t touch.” I felt bad about the argument and about the way I’d reacted to the idea of him hunting. Maybe that much would be better when I got turned and could hunt with him. I really wanted to make things work between us. I sighed and closed my eyes, trying to will my unhappy body into sleep, but it wasn’t happening—not for me or PC. I could hear him breathing on the far side of the bed. He was definitely still awake. He grunted and scooted close, until the heat of his body surrounded me and I could finally breathe.

  “I’m really sorry about all of this,” I whispered.

  He didn’t answer.

  When I woke up in the morning, PC was gone. I could feel his absence on my skin, but it wasn’t agony. The discomfort was bearable. He’s going to come back. I breathed a sigh of relief and turned over, squishing my face into his pillow and inhaling until I fell back into an uneasy rest. When he eventually came back, he was a bit shamefaced, but he smiled at me tentatively and sat down on the edge of the bed.

  “I’m sorry about last night… again. I keep taking my irritation out on you.”

  “What’d the council say?”

  He huffed out a small humorless laugh. “You know what they said.”

  I nodded. I’d figured as much. “Come lie down. We’ll forget last night happened, okay? And the ‘no hunting’ thing isn’t permanent, you know. I can probably go with you once I’m a lycan.”

  PC shrugged before pulling off his shirt. “True. It’ll be a while still before all that happens, but yeah, things are going to be better afterwards.”

  He crawled under the covers and both of us sighed, relieved from the discomfort of separation. After a few silent minutes, I felt him mumble against my back.

  “I can’t keep going on and on about how much this sucks all the time. It’s not fair to you, to either of us really, if I don’t give it a chance to work. I mean, it has to work. There’s no choice. I guess from now on we just make the best of it, and I’ll do my best not to freak out again, okay?”

  “We don’t have much other choice, do we?”

  “Nope.”

  “So we work on it together, huh?”

  “Yeah. Together.”

  Chapter 10: Red

  PC AND I somehow managed to fall into a comfortable and fight-free routine for the next couple of weeks. I suffered through class every day and stayed out late every night with PC, his friends, and the new addition of Lisa. She fit into the crowd perfectly, and not surprisingly she and Leila had a great time one-upping one another with dirty comments and innuendos. I had no idea what they’d done before they found each other. Our new circle of friends was exactly what Lisa and I had been missing… and weirdly enough, they were a lot of fun. It wasn’t all rogue hunting and secret operations. They watched movies, went out, played ridiculous games of poker where the whole objective was to cheat as wildly as possible. It was the kind of friendship I’d never had at home and everything I’d ever wanted.

  Then of course there was PC, my reluctant mate, who seemed to be warming up to the idea of being with me a little more every day. The wildness in his eyes, that fear of being tied down, was slowly disappearing. We avoided uncomfortable topics like hunting and college, or whether or not he still felt trapped by the bond or by me. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to know the answers to those questions anyway. It was, at least for the moment, best to leave them hanging silently in the air.

  I hoped that someday soon I’d look at him and the fear would be gone; that all I’d see was happiness and the love I couldn’t help but to feel for him. Every day he did more to make me fall; his touch, his smile, the way he laughed at my jokes and did the cutest things like pulling out my chair and taking out the crossword for us to do together. I loved it all. The best part was falling asleep in his arms every night. Sure, I was frustrated and hated the elders’ ridiculous dictate, but the way it felt to have his skin all around me, his scent sinking into me and becoming a part of me had become essential. I didn’t know how I had ever slept without him.

  Sabina, PC’s mother, was busy dealing with the details of my impending transformation and the subsequent mating ceremony. I tried not to be nervous about getting changed into a lycan. I’d told them a few weeks before that I was okay with it, and I knew how it would happen. PC had explained it to me. Turned out it was a simple matter of getting some of their blood or saliva into an open wound. The strong lycan DNA would do the rest of the work. It didn’t seem like a huge deal, but the idea still made my stomach a little queasy. Weirdly enough, I wasn’t nervous at all about the mating ceremony. More than anything I wanted PC to be mine, tied to me in a very public way. I was already his. Body and heart and everything that went with it.

  PC had become a permanent fixture at the bookstore too. He joked and debated books with Ralph whenever he was there, flirted outrageously with Ralph’s wife when they stopped by on the way to the theater one night, and helped customers all the time when I was occupied with someone else. He even managed to get sulky Megan to smile every once in a while, something I’d never seen before. I wondered if there was anyone he couldn’t charm with his tumbly curls, big gold eyes, and goofy grin. Ralph never asked me what PC was to me, but I supposed it was pretty obvious. I wasn’t surprised when the latest packages of treats came from Ralph’s wife with two of everything instead of one like before.

  My favorite times were when the store was quiet and he would perch at the end of the cash register counter or curl up in one of the armchairs near the café and read, looking up and smiling at me every few minutes. It reminded me of the way Zack and Noah looked at each other all the time, like they were reassuring themselves that the other was still there. I didn’t want to read too much into PC’s looks; okay, I wanted to, but I knew I shouldn’t. We were bonded, period. I knew he wanted me because of that bond, but I wasn’t sure there was anything more. He hadn’t said anything about feeling anything other than obligation toward me, and I’d bitten my tongue a million times to keep from telling him how I felt.

  IT WAS Friday night. Not quite a month had passed since the day when PC had wandered into the bookstore for the first time, but I fe
lt like I was living a whole new life. We were supposed to meet the crew at Red, a vampire bar on the Upper East Side near the park, after I was done at work. I’d protested that we wouldn’t be old enough to get in. Zack, Noah, and PC just rolled their eyes at me.

  “This bar is… different” was all Noah said. Turned out the only requirement was to be with the right people. Noah, PC, and Zack were definitely those kinds of people.

  Lisa decided to meet us at the bookstore so we could share a cab uptown. I’d obviously never been anywhere even remotely as cool as a vampire bar. I’d thought about sneaking into a club or two when I first got to the city, but I’d chickened out. I was kind of glad. It was expensive and truthfully wasn’t my scene―big crowds and drunk sweaty bodies sounded more like the ninth level of hell than a good time. I had to admit I was curious about Red, though. I mean, who wouldn’t be? It was a vampire bar full of real live vampires.

  Even though I knew what my new friends were, they seemed so normal, almost disappointingly so. I’d never seen them do vampirish stuff―you know, drinking blood, wearing high-necked capes, brooding endlessly. It would be a thrill to see some of the more menacing types; at least, it would with the safety of my friends around me. I couldn’t believe that in the space of a few hours, I was going to be in a room full of them. Finishing my shift at work had been excruciating, and Lisa’s excited texts all day hadn’t helped. She’d been agonizing over what to wear, speculating about the crowd, and bouncing all over the place… well, at least I imagined she was. Her text messages had gotten more and more exuberant as the hours passed.

  She came bounding into the shop about twenty minutes before I could close up the register, nearly bowling over a surprised Megan, who was just getting her stuff ready to leave for the night. Lisa looked fantastic. Her hair, which was usually up in a casual ponytail, was down, and she’d rolled it into loose red-gold waves that fell nearly to her waist. She was wearing some kind of red dress thing that showed off parts I’d never even noticed she had.

  “You look great, Lis. Looking for a vampire boyfriend?” I said it quietly…. I hoped. I needed to remember to keep my voice down when we weren’t alone.

  She did a pirouette and curtsied. “Can’t hurt, right? Since you refuse to turn me into a lycan,” she whispered. I laughed and gave her a hug. “Go get ready,” she told me. “I know how to use a cash register.”

  “You sure? PC should be back in a few minutes. He went home to change.”

  “Yeah, I’m cool. Go change.”

  I didn’t have much that was dressy, but I wanted to look good, if for no other reason than to drive PC nuts all night. Maybe he still didn’t want to be stuck to me forever, but I could make sure he wouldn’t be able to keep his hands off me. I had one pair of dark designer jeans that I’d found in a thrift store the year before. I wore them with a black fitted long-sleeved shirt. The dark colors made my eyes look huge and my skin pale. I hoped I’d blend in with the vampire crowd, at least a little.

  “Nice!” Lisa said when I came out of the bathroom. “You have an awesome butt, you know. Bubble-icious.”

  I blushed. “I should have never introduced you to Leila.”

  She laughed. “We work well together, but I was like this long before we were friends. But seriously; wear those jeans more often.”

  The bell over the door rang, but I didn’t need to look up to know it was PC and not a customer. My body was instantly filled with little happy shivers.

  “Hey, babe.” He came up behind me and put his arms over my shoulders. “You look really good.”

  Babe. He’d been doing that more and more in the past few weeks. It was starting to grow on me. I smiled and turned my head for a small kiss. Kissing still didn’t happen often; it was too tempting. Just that one little brush of lips was enough to send a warm rush splashing through my veins. Before it could really start, though, our short kiss was broken by Lisa’s voice. She’d been in the restroom checking her makeup for what I assumed was at least the fifteenth time.

  “Can I put eyeliner on you, Miles?” she called as she came back to the main room.

  PC let out an exasperated sigh and gave me one more soft kiss on the forehead.

  “Why do chicks always want to put eyeliner on guys? Leila’s forever bugging Zack to let her do it.”

  “’Cause it’s hot, of course.” She rolled her eyes as if to say “duh.”

  “But why Miles and not me?”

  “He’s got those huge chocolaty bedroom eyes. Besides, there’s no way you’d say yes.”

  He shrugged. “True.”

  Lisa looked at me hopefully. I sighed. Might as well say yes. It was a forgone conclusion.

  “Fine. But this doesn’t mean I want you asking every time we go anywhere. Tonight only.”

  “Yay!” She wiggled out of her seat and dug around in her purse until she drew out a black pencil. I looked closer at it.

  “Hold on, does that have glitter in it?”

  “No, just a little bit of a metallic shine. Don’t worry; it’s going to look amazing.”

  I shook my head and sighed. “The things I get talked into.”

  I sat patiently and let Lisa put the black eyeliner on me. After she was done drawing it on, she smudged it with her fingers to give me the “lived in” look. I hoped I didn’t look like an idiot. PC’s eyes widened slightly.

  Great. I look stupid.

  He pulled me close and wrapped his arms around my waist. “That is hot,” he murmured. “I think I’ll listen to the girls more often.” He brushed my lips with a lingering kiss that made my nerve endings sing. It took a few seconds to remember that Lisa was standing there with an amused smile on her face.

  “Don’t stop on my account, boys. I’m always up for some entertainment.”

  PC groaned. “We definitely shouldn’t have introduced her to Leila.”

  “My thoughts exactly.”

  ZACK AND Noah were waiting for us on the sidewalk outside the bar. They were holding hands and talking, smiling at each other. It caught me off guard every once in a while when I looked at them and realized how very beautiful they were together; both gorgeous and pale, one with night-black hair, the other a nearly white blond. They were totally different but they seemed to match somehow. Maybe it was because they were so obviously in love, each one attuned to every tiny movement the other made, their bodies aligned to each other perfectly, their private smiles speaking volumes. My stomach fluttered in the hope that someday it might be like that for PC and me.

  “God, I’d love to be the filling between that bread,” Lisa muttered at me, breaking my trance and making me sputter with laughter. Trust her to ruin a serious moment. I nodded, though, ready to give her credit for calling it. PC pinched my side.

  “I heard that,” he joked.

  “She said it. I just nodded. Besides, look at them. They’re hot.”

  He groaned. “Those two are my best friends. Can we please pretend they don’t have sex?”

  “You go ahead,” Lisa answered before I could speak. “I’m going to keep imagining what it looks like.”

  PC made a strangled yelping noise and picked up the pace, closing the distance between us and Zack and Noah. Lisa and I dissolved into laughter.

  The vampire bar had to be the coolest place I’d ever been. It was dark inside, even compared to the night sky. Silver table lamps glowed, illuminating walls that were painted a deep pinky plum with swirls of black swooping and curling around in a pattern that was somehow both gothic and whimsically lovely. Chairs and couches were upholstered in this dark wine velvet that I wanted to reach out and run my fingers along, and the tables were made of a wood so brown it looked nearly black. I tried not to stare, openmouthed, at the dark romance of the luxury that surrounded me. It was chic and uptown and way out of my league, but it didn’t matter. I was with gorgeous Noah and sexy Zack and my own, well, whatever he was, who was heartbreakingly beautiful in his wild, untamed way. Nearly everyone in the bar turned to look
at them when they walked in. Lisa and I fit in by proxy, if nothing else.

  I followed PC and Lisa to the bar, so busy taking in my surroundings that I barely even noticed what they’d ordered for me. I was too excited to drink it anyway. I took it happily, though, glad to have something to concentrate on other than my opulently intimidating surroundings. Drinks in hand, PC, Lisa, and I wove our way through the crowd toward the beacon of Noah’s white-blond hair and joined the table, which also included Amanda, Leila, and her boyfriend, Jason.

  “You look hot tonight, girl!” Leila grinned at Lisa, giving her a long hug. She hugged the rest of us in turn as we settled in our spots.

  “So when do I get bitten?” Lisa asked.

  We all looked at each other for a few stunned seconds, then burst into laughter. Of course she asked that.

  “I doubt it’ll be hard for us to find you a willing set of teeth in that dress,” Leila murmured, hooking her arm through Lisa’s. “I may have to taste you myself.”

  “I wouldn’t mind either. You smell amazing,” Zack added. I looked curiously at Noah, waiting for him to comment. “Oh, Noh doesn’t like female blood. He was a little disappointed that I turned out to be a hetero vamp. We can’t really share, since we have opposite tastes.”

  “But we can.” Leila raised her eyebrows at Zack. “You up for it?”

  “You mean both?” Lisa sounded breathless.

  Leila nodded excitedly.

  “C’mon, guys. She didn’t get all hot and come out to a bar to get bitten by two people she already knows!” Amanda scoffed.

  “No, it’s okay, actually. I trust you guys.” She looked a little bit nervous all of a sudden. “It won’t be weird, you know, since we’re friends?”

  “Not at all,” Leila assured her.

  Zack and Leila grinned at each other. I swear they were about half a heartbeat away from bumping fists.

  “You sure you want to try this?” Zack must have been able to sense her nervousness.