Defiant Ecstasy

by Janelle Taylor

  He had been pleased by her acceptance of his wanapin and the mood it had generated. He had wanted to tell her it was to replace the one he so foolishly and carelessly destroyed, but let the gift and his behavior speak for him. An old man, gifted in the art of carving, had made the eagle for him and his wife had strung the beads and finished the necklace. It had been completed while he had been gone and had been left in his teepee for him to see when he returned.

  Gray Eagle recalled the significance he had placed on the objects he had asked to be placed on the wanapin. The rings of the rattler were thought to ward off evil spirits, but he hoped they would remind her of the futility and danger of escape. He now realized such a reminder would not be necessary for she would never wish to flee from his arms again. There would be no reason to flee and no place to flee to, but many reasons to stay here with him. She had shown him she was totally committed to him and there was no reason now to mistrust her.

  The eagle was to denote his ownership of the wanapin. He was pleased by the way she looked at the wanapin and him, but particularly by the way she was responding to him. He confidently thought, all wasichus have been purged from our lands. It is time for peace and love between us, Cinstinna.

  A female voice called to him from outside. Gray Eagle answered it and a girl entered, carrying food and water. He had sent an order for Matu to bring them food and water earlier. He asked the girl where she was and why she had not come. The young girl lowered her eyes, flushing at the glare of Wanmdi Hota, and replied the old woman could not come and had sent her to bring it to him. He nodded acceptance of her explanation, but mentally noted he should check on this matter later.

  The young girl placed the food by the campfire and left, after stealing another look at the tall, handsome warrior embracing the ska winyan. The look did not go unnoticed by Alisha who glared at the girl’s back. As she returned her gaze to his, he was grinning mockingly at her expression of jealousy. She pinkened at first, then pouted prettily at his taunt. She withdrew from his arms and went to sit by the cold campfire.

  She caressed the eagle once more, then called for him to come. “Ku-wa, Wanmdi Hota. Mni, woyeta. Iyotanka.”

  He suppressed a laugh at the pert, wifely tone in her voice, her confidence apparently growing in her place with him. He did just as she said and was served his food. She sat watching him as he began to eat, smiling serenely and toying with the little white eagle. He studied her for a moment, knowing of her great hunger and thirst. She sat as politely and patiently as any Indian winyan would have. He furtively glanced at the closed flap, thinking ...

  He suddenly put his food into her hands, then helped himself to more. She stared incredulously at him with wide eyes. This was never done! His actions on the trail when they had been alone were one thing, but here ... what if someone came in? What would they say or do? A white winyan eating with a warrior, Wanmdi Hota at that! His behavior bewildered and even scared her.

  Slowly she spoke, “Hiya! Lese hiya wota Wanmdi Hotal” She was the perfect picture of shock and confusion. He studied her expression and words with amusement and pleasure, but laughed.

  “Wota, Lese.” The words and laughter told her he was only relaxing the rules of etiquette this one time because of her hunger and their lack of food today. She had seen him look at the closed flap before, and understood why now. He was not going to make her wait for him to finish.

  She smiled sweetly, accepting the food and jested, “Yes, master!”

  After he had drank, he handed her the wozuha and she began to drink thirstily. She quickly halted and lowered the skin to look at him in doubt. He saw her confusion and he drank from the skin again to show her it was all right.

  “Wanhu mni ...” She accepted the skin and drank more slowly from it this time. It had a sweet, fruity taste like the bullberries. When they had both had their fill of juice and food, she cleared the remains of the meal and left them by the fireplace.

  He pointed to one of her Indian dresses which was hanging on a side peg and said, “Winyan heyake, cehnake ... Ku-wa. Ihduzazapi ...”

  She promptly gathered the items needed for bathing and dressing and followed him outside. How great this bath would feel after the long, hot, dusty ride! He didn’t have to ask her twice about it.

  They casually and happily walked along to the stream in the dusky light. It was marvelous to feel so light-hearted and happy. Alisha strolled along behind him. Her eyes adjusted to the fading light and she studied him as he walked ahead of her. He did not seem so cold, forbidding or intimidating now. She hopefully wondered if he had finally accepted her being there. Was he even coming to like her a little?

  His behavior to me is anything but cold and brutal! she mused. I hope things between us will be different. Perhaps he will not hurt me again. When the time comes, I will somehow deal with Chela’s prior claim on him. Until then, things could not be working out better.

  When they reached the bank of the stream, she plopped down on the ground to dangle her tired, hot feet in the cool water. She heard a loud splash and looked to see her brave glide into the water in the pool. She sat still for a time, savoring the quiet and peace here. Later, she undressed and slipped gracefully into the . murmuring water.

  It felt exhilarating to her dusty body. She scrubbed her skin until it glowed and warmed in the night air. She washed her hair and dipped up and down rinsing it. She had never had a more refreshing, reviving bath.

  Gray Eagle slipped up behind her as she turned to place her soap and cloth on the bank. The amber moonlight bathed her scarred and scabbed back in its light. The marks of his lashing slapped him hard in the face. He sharply inhaled. How could I have done this to you, Cinstinna? he chastised himself.

  Hearing his gasp, she quickly turned to ask what was amiss. The fury in his face and eyes terrified her. She panicked at this sudden reversal in moods as fear flooded her features. What had she done? Why did he look at her that way?

  Coming to himself, he noted her expression and reached out a hand toward her, saying, “Ku-wa!” just a little too harshly. He tried to pull her to him, but she backed away from his touch. He was disturbed to see how much she still mistrusted and feared him. He called softly to her, “Ku-wa, Lese. Kokipa ikopa.”

  Hearing his softened tone, she wavered in doubt. She recalled in grim detail the last time he had called to her like this and held out his hand to her. She remained rigid in the waist-high water, watching him and his eyes for a clue to his intentions.

  He tenderly stretched out his hand and called to her once more. She gazed at the outstretched hand like it was a snake, then met his eyes. He realized from the look on her face what she was thinking about. He moved closer to her, taking the first step. “Ku-wa, Cinstinna ...” he whispered in a husky, rich tone.

  Knowing the meaning of “Cinstinna” and the tone he said it in, she extended her small, trembling hand to him. He took it firmly in his grasp and pulled her into his arms. He held her tightly for a long time, then began to cover her face and mouth with searing kisses. He whispered her name over and over between his kisses. She accepted his embrace and hot kisses and returned them with an ardor of her own. Alisha clung to him now, comprehending he meant her no harm.

  “Wanmdi Hota, I am so confused. I do not know what to think or believe anymore. It is so frightening not to know where I stand with you. Your changing moods bring terror and alarm to my heart. Hold me ... never let me go ever again ...”

  At these words, he picked her up and lay her down upon the grassy bank on her back. He lay half on her, kissing and caressing her until she thought she would scream if he did not come to her and take her immediately.

  They were soon completely absorbed in their lovemaking, fused together like white hot iron in the forge. Colored lights and music filled her eyes and ears as she climbed the ladder of passion. Then, everything inside her seemed to explode and she claimed all his love with a wild, fierce emotion. He held her for a time afterwards and never wanted to free he
r from his arms. But when he felt her shiver from the night air, he got to his feet and returned to the stream to rinse off. She sat up, regaining her senses, then joined him. They dried off on the blanket and dressed. They retrieved their belongings and went back to camp.

  Later in his teepee, Alisha sat by a warm fire, alone, drying her hair. After she brushed her hair with the porcupine brush Gray Eagle had given her long ago, she braided it. She finished her grooming, put her things away, and lay down.

  Her warrior returned just as she reclined. He had gone to a meeting in the ceremonial lodge for a short time to hear the report of all that had happened after he left the fort. He came to lie beside her, pulling her possessively into his arms. She snuggled there, laying her head upon his shoulder. She placed her arm across his chest and pressed closer to his side and slept.

  He lay quietly, but unable to sleep just yet. He noted Alisha’s steady, even breathing which told him she was asleep. He kissed her forehead and thought, sleep peaceful, Cinstinna, for you are back where you belong. He lay thinking of all which had taken place in his life since he had first seen her. He recalled the events in vivid detail which had passed between them. After so much hurt and shame, here she was at his side, willing and happy. He reflected upon her words and actions of the past two days and rejoiced at them and their meaning. How very much his heart had changed with the flight of this white bird of love and joy into his lonely existence!

  He had not even known he was lonely and in need of a love like hers until he had almost lost her. Tonight, she lay with him protected under his wing just as the little bird in his vision. All had happened as the Great Spirit had shown him. The eagle had rescued the little white bird and she had flown safely home to live with him forever in happiness. They had easily destroyed the bluebirds of the cavalry.

  But the Great Spirit had not shown him the greater bird of prey who would come to take his white bird, leaving him powerless, sad and alone. Was it not written somewhere, “Clouds rain on birds, even the mighty eagles”? Is it not also true the fierce, daring, brave bear can destroy the eagle’s nest, even kill the eagle if he can capture him with his powerful limbs armed with razor-sharp claws?

  “Great Spirit!” cried Hunwi, “why do you not warn him?”

  The Great Spirit smiled and replied, “It will be for Wanmdi Hota’s own good if the little bird is taken from his life.”

  Hunwi sadly asked, “But can he live without the light of her love?”

  Wakantanka spoke again, “We shall soon see who is the mightier—the little white bird, or the great eagle.”

  Alisha would recall this dream for a long time and wonder at its meaning ...

  Chapter Three

  Gray Eagle’s hunter instincts were dulled that night by his happiness and his belief that all was well now. His keen ears had not heard the quiet intrusion of an enemy, nor had his sixth sense warned him of the approaching danger. His usually alert mind had other thoughts in it tonight. Had his watchful eyes not opened in sleeplessness, he would be mourning the loss of his one true love.

  A flash of light had caught his eye and he lunged upward to stop the hand of Chela before it drove the knife into Alisha’s back. He gave a loud cry of rage, threw her roughly to the ground and pinned her down. She struggled with him, fighting, scratching, biting and cursing her thwarted attempt to kill her rival.

  The abrupt movement of his body and the loud noises of scuffling and shouting awakened Alisha from her deep slumber. In the dim moonlight, she could see Gray Eagle straddling Chela, who was fighting him like a tiger and screaming in Oglala like a madwoman.

  He seized Chela’s wrists and locked them together with one of his hands above her head. With his other hand, he grabbed her head and forced her to look at him as he issued threats to her. Alisha touched his bare shoulder and frantically asked what was happening. He ignored her in his wrath. He allowed his full weight to crush Chela’s chest and stomach. She gasped to breathe and struggled to free herself.

  Without warning, the torchlight suddenly flooded their teepee as White Arrow and Little Beaver came running in. They immediately understood what had happened. They spoke with Gray Eagle rapidly. They informed him they had heard the commotion and thought an enemy had sneaked into camp and was attacking him in his sleep. They had been astounded to see who the culprit was.

  Alisha had been just as shocked to see Chela in their teepee at night. She was far more disturbed when the torchlight revealed the whole story. Her eyes widened in alarm as they viewed the long knife that had been clutched tightly in Chela’s grip. Understanding filled Alisha’s brain as she took in the scene and read the intense hatred in the girl’s face. Her mind reeled at the impact of this discovery. Someone here hated her enough to want to see her dead! Chela was holding her responsible for Gray Eagle’s desire of a white girl.

  Alisha gazed past Gray Eagle to the girl and asked, “You hate me this much, Chela? Do the others? Do they wish me dead rather than see me as his kaskapi?” But of course, Chela did not understand her questions. She only knew the white girl was talking to her.

  Alisha turned her back on the scene as her tormentor screamed, “Kaskapi! Wayakayuha! Ista ska! Sunka ska! Witkowin! Ska witkowin!”

  Alisha pressed her hands tightly to her ears to shut out the curses and insults Chela threw at her. She feared things would never work out for her here. How could she ever fit in or belong in the Oglala camp with Gray Eagle, even if she did love him? Sometimes love and desire were not enough to block out the hatred and pain. They were from two separate worlds with a gap too wide to be spanned with only love and passion. There had to be more to life and love! Alisha knew she would never be accepted here. She had been foolish to believe things could change so drastically in only a few weeks.

  She cried out in anguish, but no one heard her for they had already left the teepee. She had not realized she was now alone until she opened her tightly closed eyes to find herself in total darkness.

  She quickly ran outside and looked about. Her gaze found them dragging the screaming, fighting girl to the stake in the center of camp. The chaos alerted many others who left their teepees to come forward to see what was going on.

  Gray Eagle bound Chela to the post as White Arrow was giving the details to the others who had gathered around them. He informed them of how she had tried to kill him and his white captive while they slept. She had dared to interfere in the life and way of a warrior and leader, and had dared to enter his teepee and strike out at him in revenge, hate and jealousy.

  Chela shrieked at the group, “Hiya, Wanmdi Hota! Never you! Only the ska wincinyanna who has bewitched you and turned your heart from me, your chosen mate. You have let a ska kaskapi, a witkowin, take my place in your teepee! She is the enemy! She must die to free you of this evil spell she has cast over you! Do you not see how she tricks and defies you? She is an evil spirit, Wanmdi Hota. Kill her, or you will one day regret it!”

  Gray Eagle cast murderous glances at Chela as he spoke coldly, “She has not cast any spell over me. She has not taken your place in my heart, for you never had one! Do you think my eyes cannot see she is white? You act more like my enemy than she does! She has helped me, but you try to kill me! I see no tricks in her, for I have taught her I am the warrior and she is but a woman. My regret lies in the fact I have too long allowed you to dishonor me. with your words and actions. No more! You were told the Great Spirit sent her to me as a gift. He showed us in the warrior lodge how to free her and kill the bluecoats. I was told to bring her here and protect her under my wing. The others also shared this vision from the Great Spirit. You must be punished for your evil deeds and thoughts. If you do this again, He will punish you. She is smiled on by Him, for He has sought to protect her life many times. He will not permit her death!”

  Gray Eagle took the whip in his hand and cracked it on the ground. Alisha had stood mesmerized by the deadly episode before her. She heard and recognized many of the words Chela had said and knew they d
iscussed her. She knew Wanmdi Hota was about to beat the defiant Chela, and Alisha’s heart went out to her enemy. Alisha recalled all too well the agony of the whip. She still carried the scars from her whipping. She could understand the girl’s feelings, although she loathed her actions.

  Alisha ran forward through the small crowd and grabbed Gray Eagle’s taut arm which held the wicked whip. “Hiya, Wanmdi Hota! Please don’t do this because of me! Your people hate me too much as it is. What will they feel if I cause the punishment of the Shaman’s daughter? I understand and forgive her. She loves you and is to marry you. Don’t you understand, she cannot accept my place in your life and teepee, not even as a kaskapi? I would feel the same in her place if she were between us, but I would not try to kill her. Please, let her go ...”

  Her eyes darted around wildly. “How can I make you understand? Don’t beat her for wishing my death. The whip is much too cruel for a woman. It gives agony and pain beyond belief! I know! Please, hiya.”

  Feeling guilt at her reminder of what he had done to her and the fresh reality of her near death caused Gray Eagle to close his ears to her pleas. So soon after her submission to him and his will, here she was openly defying his judgment again! He knew the crime and punishment and she could do or say nothing to change them. If he backed down now, they would believe Chela’s words about an evil spell over him. She was backing him into that deadly corner again and he would have to once again fight his way out at her expense.

  Why, Lese? he agonized. Why do you force me to hurt you this way? There is more at stake here than her attempt to kill you. There is my leadership and honor! I could kill her with my bare hands for what she tried to do to you, but she must take her punishment as is our way—two lashes of the apa.