Grace Lost (The Grace Series)

by Lewis, M. Lauryl

  The next sense in my head was of one of the creatures sniffing at the air. It wasn’t an image so much as the smell of the air outside, which included the foul stench of death. Thunder sounded again as a new storm rolled in. They were fearful of it. How beasts capable of killing and ripping apart living creatures with their bare hands could be afraid of thunder was beyond me. Their thoughts, memories, and horrifying desires began to fade from my mind. All but one fled into the surrounding woods, and from its thoughts I knew it would be nearby, waiting. The creature climbed in elevation, its signature inside my head fading to a dim ember. If I tried, I could tell myself it was gone. I knew, though, that it was left behind to watch the area. To watch for us.

  I slowed my breathing, and challenged my body to relax. I was exhausted, and needed to get off my feet. The room had darkened both from the storm brewing and from the passing of time. I lifted my head from Gus’ chest and looked up at him. “They’ve all gone, except for one,” I whispered.

  He nodded in acknowledgement.

  I twisted around to look at Boggs. “We have to be quiet. It’s waiting for us to come out, to slip up somehow.”

  Boggs looked at Gus. “No lights.”

  Gus nodded once.

  “Should I close the curtain?” asked Boggs quietly.

  “No,” I said quickly. “Stay away from the window. It’s watching.”

  “Let’s settle in,” whispered Gus.

  The three of us walked together to the bed, careful to stay well away from the window.

  “You’re shivering, Zo,” whispered Boggs.

  “There were extra blankets in the bottom dresser drawer when I looked earlier,” I said, careful to keep my voice down. “We should lie down and try to get warm.”

  “You guys lay down. I’ll grab a blanket,” offered Gus.

  Boggs sat on the bed and scooted over toward the far side. I climbed in and we lay down together. Gus had opened the dresser drawer quietly. He removed a thin blanket that was kept inside, likely as a spare for guests on chilly nights. I noticed he left the drawer open, not wanting to risk any extra noise. The cowboy walked to the bed and started to cover us with the blanket. I scooted over farther. “Gus, lay down with us. We need to stay warm.”

  He nodded, but looked uncomfortable. After pondering it, he sat on the bed and lay on his back. “Cover up,” I whispered. “It’s getting cold.”

  Boggs turned onto his side to face me, and then spoke just loudly enough for me and Gus to both hear. “Zoe, what happened? We heard two shots.”

  “I’m not sure I can talk about it yet, Boggs,” I said with a sigh. Reluctantly, I tried to explain. “There was an old man. He was being shadowed by one of the monsters. I knew there was only one of the creatures, but more were coming soon. I shot the zombie, and then the old man looked at me. He pleaded.” I could feel a tear running down my cheek. “They were eating on him while he was alive, forcing him to be a living snack, and using him to coax other people out of hiding. He was in so much pain. I could see it in his eyes.”

  “Fuck,” said Gus. “Zoe, you did the right thing.” Gus understood what I had done without me having to say it. I was glad, because I don’t think I could have found the words.

  “Their hunger, it never ends. They’re searching for food, but they also need another person to use as bait now. Promise me you won’t let them do that to me?”

  “Shhhh, Zo, don’t talk like that,” said Boggs. “That’s not going to happen.’

  “Just promise me,” I replied.

  I felt Gus take hold of my hand under the blanket. He squeezed, which I took as his promise to me. I knew if the time came, Boggs wouldn’t be able to pull the trigger to end it for me, but I knew Gus would. I squeezed back.

  Chapter 16

  It was well past dark. A nearly full moon was the only light in our hiding place, casting long shadows about the room. From their breathing patterns, I could tell that Gus and Boggs were both also awake. The tiny spark of unwelcome desire remained in my head, reminding me that there was still a creature out there waiting for something to hunt.

  “The girls must be worried about us,” I whispered.

  “I’m sure they are,” said Gus quietly. “But there’s nothing we can do.”

  “Try not to worry, Zo. Emilie has a good head on her shoulders. She’ll hold the fort down,” said Boggs.

  I turned to face Boggs, and cuddled close.

  “You cold?” he asked me.

  “Ya,” I whispered. “Very. And I can’t stand the feeling in my head,” I added.

  “Try to sleep, Zo. We’ll take care of you,” said my best friend and lover. He put an arm around me and Gus crept closer, doing the same. The men apparently had no qualms about protecting me together, or about sharing a bed to stay warm.

  I tried to focus on breathing evenly and deeply. I tried to ignore the unwelcome bits in my head. As hard as I tried to sleep, it would not come. The men must have thought I had succumbed to fatigue. They began whispering after several long minutes, as if I weren’t listening.

  “Gus, Buddy?”

  “Ya?”

  “Do me a favor?”

  “Name it.”

  “Promise me that if anything happens to me, you’ll take care of her?”

  “It goes without saying, Boggs.”

  “You know I’d do the same for Emilie.”

  “I know man. Thanks for saying so.”

  “I can still hear you guys,” I whispered.

  I felt Boggs sigh beside me. He shifted his weight to his back, causing me to roll onto my hip. I had become used to it aching when zombies were near, but the sudden movement caused it to sting more than usual. I winced.

  “What’s wrong?” asked Boggs, concerned.

  “My hip. It’s just hurting.”

  “I’ll look at it once it’s light out,” said Gus quietly.

  “Ok,” I whispered back to him. “Thanks.”

  I rolled onto my other side to relieve the pain, facing Gus. Boggs nestled his face in against my neck.

  “Speaking of Emilie,” I whispered to Gus. “You know she’s in love with you, right?”

  “I think the feeling’s mutual,” he chuckled under his breath.

  “She’s worried about the age difference.”

  “Ah, it’s not so bad. Plus I don’t think there’s many people who will give us shit about it,” he replied.

  “I suppose not.”

  “Zo, is the creature still out there?” asked Boggs. I felt his hand slide up my shirt, caressing my side.

  “Ya. I think it’s sleeping.”

  “They sleep?” asked Gus.

  “It’s kind of like it’s zoned out. I can’t see anything, but I feel it in my head. I’m guessing its eyes are closed,” I whispered.

  “Should we try to make a run for it?” asked Boggs.

  “No,” was all I said. I took comfort in Boggs’ warm hand resting against my bare skin.

  The three of us lay like that for a long while without speaking. I thought Boggs might be asleep at one point. I could see enough in the moonlight that I knew Gus was staring at the ceiling.

  “Penny for your thoughts?” I said to the cowboy.

  “Just trying to map out in my head how we’ll get out of this,” he answered.

  “Do you think we will?” I paused. “Get out of this?”

  “I sure hope so, Zoe. Try to get some sleep. I’ll stay awake. We’ll need you awake and alert on the drive out of here.”

  I nodded. “Ok.”

  I closed my eyes. If I slept, it was lightly.

  Sunlight filtered in through the bedroom window. The rain and wind had stopped sometime overnight. Boggs snored softly in my ear, his arm still resting on my side. Gus was still awake and staring at the ceiling. My mind seemed to be my own again with all traces of the lone zombie gone. I felt groggy, though, my throat was dry, and my bladder full. I sat up, which was a struggle. My muscles had grown stiff during the night.

/>   Boggs woke up when I moved, and Gus looked at me.

  “Morning,” they said in tandem.

  “It’s gone. We should go,” I said, no longer whispering. “Now.”

  “You sure?” asked Gus, his face showing concern.

  “I’m sure. Let’s get out of here before they come back.”

  Boggs sat beside me and tucked my hair behind my ear. “Ok, Zo.”

  Gus stood, looking tired, sore, and stiff. Boggs and I followed suit, standing as well.

  “Zoe, if you sense anything at any point just signal us. Let’s hurry to the Explorer,” suggested Gus.

  The men took a moment to move the heavy dresser that blocked the bedroom door. I held my breath while Boggs opened the door. Even though my mind was void of intrusions, I was still fearful of what might be waiting. Gus walked into the hallway and I followed. Boggs brought up the rear. The hallway floor was hardwood and shiny. It creaked as I stepped onto an intricate runner rug. I paused for just a moment, but Gus encouraged me on.

  “I need to use the bathroom,” I mumbled.

  “We all should,” said Boggs.

  Gus nodded. “Zoe, you go first.”

  I stepped into one of the large bathrooms and walked to the toilet, which was rather extravagant with paws molded on the bottom for decoration.. I hurried with my business and tried to focus on my mind to be aware of any unwelcomed intrusions, afraid the zombies would attack at any moment. My hip still ached and I was feeling crampy. I didn’t need either distraction and right now I didn’t want any reminders of how being a woman is supposed to be a special and lovely thing. I sighed and stood, pulled up my pants, and walked to the mirror. I had circles under my eyes. I tried the tap, but no water flowed. I went back to the hall and Gus went to take care of his needs next.

  Before long we had all relieved ourselves and headed back to the main floor. The toss pillow had fallen out of the broken window in the door, and the floor was wet from rain that had blown in. The air smelled sickly sweet and foul, reminding me of the morning we had burned the zombie bodies in front of our cabin.

  “Do you smell it?” I asked. I crept to the front door and peeked outside. The dead zombie was still there, a soggy lump in the middle of the road. The old man whose life I had ended was gone, and left in his place was a pile of bloody shredded clothes. I felt sick to my stomach, imagining they had eaten what was left of him. Even in death they had found a way to violate him.

  “Let’s get out of here,” whispered Boggs.

  “We’ll go out the back door. It’s closest to the Explorer,” said Gus in reply.

  “Do you have the keys?” asked Boggs.

  Gus reached into his front jeans pocket and pulled the key ring out. “Right here.”

  Boggs took hold of my elbow and guided me through the bright kitchen to the broken back door. We paused before walking outside, to double check my ‘radar.’ I studied the inside of my head while the guys opened the door. I gave the all-clear, and we stepped into the sunlight together. It hurt my eyes.

  “The car’s just around the corner,” whispered Boggs.

  I met his eyes with my own, and could tell he was afraid. I’m sure we all were. We walked along the back of the inn, and rounded the corner to where they had parked the SUV the day before. We stopped short. The SUV sat facing away from us. Sitting on the gravel, also facing away, was a small child. She was hugging her knees and rocking herself back and forth. I started to step toward her, but Gus held his arm up to stop me. I looked at him, studying his face. He was watching the child, his eyes narrowed. I looked at Boggs. Surely he’d want to help a child? Boggs met my eyes with his, and pointed to his head with a questioning look on his face. I shook my head ‘no,’ assuming he wanted to know if I sensed one of the dead creatures in our midst. I looked back to the child, who still hadn’t reacted to our approach. She had dark pigtails and wore a blue and white checkered dress. I guessed she was about four or five years old. I looked back to Gus, who was slowly lowering his arm.

  “Call to her,” he said softly to me.

  “Why me?” I asked in a whisper.

  “A female voice,” was all he said in reply.

  I nodded.

  “Sweetheart?” I called out. “Can you hear me? We can help you, honey.”

  She didn’t answer, but rather picked up speed in her rocking.

  I could tell Gus was suspicious, and Boggs was holding onto my elbow.

  “Sweetie?” I tried again.

  Gus had taken hold of his shotgun with both hands, and Boggs copied him with his own gun. I looked at them both, unsure what to do. Gus used two fingers to make a ‘walking’ symbol and we proceeded forward, slowly. Once we were only a couple of yards away, the little girl twisted around to face us. She had looked beautiful from behind. What faced us now made me lean forward and vomit violently. The front of her dress was soaked in blood. Her face was missing. All that remained was a raw, bloodied hole where her eyes and nose and mouth should be. The outline of her jawbone and sinuses were bright pink. A few small white teeth stuck out at odd angles.

  “Oh God,” I moaned. “Oh God…”

  “Boggs, turn Zoe away,” ordered Gus. Boggs hesitated. “Turn her away NOW!” He raised his sawed off-shotgun, walked to one side, and aimed at the mutilated child.

  Boggs held me close and forced me to look away. It didn’t take much for me to submit. I jumped when I heard the shotgun fire. I proceeded to sob into Boggs’ chest. “No,” I cried. “God no!”

  “Later, Zoe,” said Gus. “We’ll mourn later.”

  “No, they’re coming…” My head was filled with hundreds of rapidly changing fragments of unwanted zombie thoughts, sights, and memories.

  “Get in the car!” shouted Gus.

  Boggs lifted me off my feet and ran with me in his arms the rest of the way toward the Explorer. I kept my eyes closed as he slid into the car with me. The vehicle door slammed behind me. The ignition roared to life.

  I opened my eyes. “They’re close. They see us, they see the car! Fuck, Gus, go!” I yelled, near hysteria.

  Boggs and I were in the rear seat together. I looked out the back window of the SUV. The little girl’s small body lay crumpled in the gravel, in a pool of dark red blood. Zombies were pouring out of the woods toward us. I could sense that they were livid over the girl being killed, but also excited by the meal she was about to provide. They had been looking for her for days. Several of them piled on her still warm corpse and began to rip her small body apart. The attention of most swung to us and the escaping car and pursuit became their new mission. The Explorer lurched forward forcefully, and the tires spat gravel out behind us. I was thrown against the back of the rear seat. Gus turned to the left sharply, trying to skirt the drive to get around the wrought iron fence that encompassed the rest of the property. The motion threw me against Boggs. I felt the vehicle swerve to the right and our ride smoothed momentarily. I sat up, straightening myself.

  “Get your seatbelts on,” said Gus loudly. His voice held authority. I heard the ‘click’ as his buckle engaged.

  Boggs reached across me, grabbed my belt, and buckled me in. I looked at him with wide eyes before looking forward. There were two pale men standing in the road wearing military uniforms. I had no doubt that they were both dead. I looked at them and saw through their eyes as they looked back at us. Gus started to slow the vehicle.

  “Gus, no!” I yelled. “They’re dead!”

  Gus stepped on the gas, not hesitating, picking up enough speed to knock the corpses over as he ran into them with the front passenger fender and bumper. The impact jolted us, making me glad for the seatbelts. The car swerved, but Gus managed to keep control and straighten out. The path in front of us was now clear. I looked out the back window again. The hoard of zombies was fading in the distance, as was the dizzying fog they had created in my mind.

  “We forgot the map,” said Boggs, breaking the silence.

  “It’s ok. I’ve got the route in
my head still,” replied Gus.

  “That little girl…” I moaned. “What the hell was that?”

  “Zoe, I had no choice. I couldn’t let her live like that,” said Gus.

  I tried to slow my breathing. I was becoming light headed.

  “I know, Gus, I know,” I said between breaths. “What’s happened? What have we done to have lost all of God’s Grace? What have we done to deserve this?” I was having trouble keeping control of my own sanity and my voice was cracking. “What did that little girl do to deserve...that?”

  “Boggs, get her to lean forward and take some deep breaths.”

  Boggs put his hand on my back to encourage me to lean forward. I did, and tears fell freely. I felt sick to my stomach again. Try as I might, I couldn’t get rid of the image of the little girl’s missing face out of my head.

  It felt like several miles passed before I was able to think clearly again. Gus spoke from the front seat. “We should be at the first turn off soon. Boggs, I need Zoe to focus.”

  “Zo, can you sit up, Sweetheart?” asked Boggs sweetly.

  I lifted my head and leaned back. I wiped my face with the backs of my hands. “I want to go home, Boggs,” I moaned.

  “I know baby, we’re trying to get back.”

  “No, I want to go home,” I said more softly.

  “I know, but you know we can’t.”

  I nodded. “I just hate this all. I hate this so much.”

  “I need you to focus for us, ok?” said Boggs.

  I nodded. “There’s no zombies here. I feel so sick. Those two in uniform, they wanted us to think they were living people.”

  “I know, Zo, I know,” soothed Boggs.

  Gus turned onto to a smaller roadway. It was dotted with the occasional pothole, making for a rougher ride.

  “About two more miles and we’ll turn off again,” announced Gus.