Grace Lost (The Grace Series)

by Lewis, M. Lauryl

  We continued on. The car was filled with an odd sort of tension. We were all tired and overall weary. The next turn evolved into many curves and a rise in elevation. After about an hour, Gus turned off onto the road that hugged Lake Arrow. I looked across the lake, wondering just where the cabin was. The water was a brilliant blue in the sunlight. My stomach was in knots, both from the curves in the road as well as knowing that soon we’d be without the protection of the Explorer.

  “Ok, kids, this is it,” said Gus. “We’ll need to follow the shoreline and if I’m right, the cabin will be back in the woods right about…” He pointed to a large boulder on the shoreline across the lake. “There.”

  “Let’s do it,” said Boggs.

  “We have maybe two hours of good daylight left,” said Gus. We’ll need to keep a steady pace. Zoe, anything lurking about in the woods?”

  “No. Nothing I can sense.”

  “Ok, then, let’s go. We can come back for the supplies later. I just want to get back for now,” said Gus.

  We got out of the car and looked around to get our bearings. I heard a bird twittering above, which I knew was a good sign. The road had ended with concrete barriers that prevented people from going off-road. We walked toward the shore, which meant traversing down a steep hill. The ground was still rain-soaked, which made the way slippery. I opted to scoot down the steepest section on my butt. The day was quickly turning to evening and a chill was creeping in from the lake. In the distance a mist had formed over the water. We marched on, the path made difficult by rocks of all sizes and underbrush that threatened to grab our ankles and trip us. The trees were thickening around us, causing the sunlight to be heavily filtered. I walked between Gus and Boggs with my arms defensively wrapped around myself.

  It took us at least two hours to reach the boulder that Gus had identified as a marker. It was larger in person than it had seemed from across the lake. It was covered in moss on one side and sat partly in the water. The sun was almost set and we didn’t know how far the cabin was from the water’s edge.

  “We need to pick up our pace,” whispered Gus. “Last thing I want is to be stuck out here after dark.”

  “You won’t hear me disagree,” I mumbled.

  “Ok, then. Onward we go,” said Boggs.

  We began our trek away from the edge of the lake. The way became even more treacherous with overgrown bushes as we reentered the woods.

  “Over there,” I said. “It looks like a trail.”

  The three of us walked to an area that looked like it may have once been a path. It was already filling in with vines and plants, but we hoped it would lead us home. We all knew it may just be a pathway used by the animals of the forest. We followed it in the general direction that the cabin should be situated.

  “It seems like we should have been there by now,” I said.

  “Maybe,” said Gus. “Maybe not.” He sounded grumpy.

  We continued on for about five more minutes before the trees opened up to a familiar clearing. I smiled and was so glad to see the familiar cabin and the old white step van sitting out front. It looked just as we had left it. Almost. Something was off, but it was hard to pinpoint.

  “Stop,” I whispered as Gus was about to leave the tree line.

  He looked back at me like I was crazy. “What is it, Zo?”

  “Something’s different. I’m not sure what. Give me a second.” I sounded grouchy myself. I looked around the cabin. I studied the step van that was off to the side, the portion of the shed that was in view, the boarded up windows.

  “The bones,” said Boggs. “The bones are gone. We never buried them.”

  Gus used his thumb and forefinger to stroke his chin in thought. “Huh,” he said with curiosity in his voice. “Zoe? Any company?”

  I studied my mind. “No.”

  “Ok, let’s just proceed with extra caution. I want to get home,” said Gus.

  We left the woods and walked toward the cabin. It looked tranquil. Nothing aside from the absent bones seemed out of place until we heard a loud scream. It clearly came from within the cabin and sounded like someone was in utter agony. We stopped in our tracks, and I looked at Gus. He began walking quickly toward the building where we hoped to find our friends safe and sound. The scream broke the silence of the clearing again, this time longer and drawn out.

  “Oh God,” said Gus as he broke out into a run. Boggs and I sprinted behind him to the front porch. We found the door boarded as we had left it, locked from the inside. Gus began pounding on the door and shouted out.

  “Emilie! Emilie it’s us! Let us in!”

  “Gus! What is it?” I asked loudly.

  He continued pounding, ignoring my question. “Emilie! Susan! Open the door!”

  I stepped close to Boggs and clung to his arm.

  Gus finally looked at us. “It sounds like Louisa.” He raised his fist to pound on the boarded up door again, when we heard the lock disengaging. The outer layer of the rigged door opened outward toward us, exposing a scared and wide eyed Emilie.

  She rushed forward and clung to Gus. “Oh, God. we thought you weren’t coming back!” She began crying.

  Gus held her back from himself to study her. “Emilie what’s going on?” Louisa screamed out again. Gus looked toward the stairs.

  “Where is she?” he asked.

  “Upstairs. Gus, her water broke. She’s in horrible pain.” Emilie was wiping at her tears.

  “How long ago?” he asked as he stepped into the cabin.

  “About eight hours now,” she said. “She didn’t have pain until about an hour ago.”

  “Take me to her,” said Gus. “Boggs, lock up?” Gus handed his shotgun to Boggs and quickly followed Emilie up the stairs.

  “Boggs, I should go with, see if I can help.”

  “Zoe, isn’t it too early for the baby to come and make it?” asked Boggs.

  “I think so,” I said. I knew very little about pregnancy and birth.

  “Go,” he said. “Let me know if I can help?”

  I nodded, and rushed up the stairs.

  I heard Louisa scream again, and reluctantly followed the sound to her room. She was lying on the bed, naked from the waist down. There was blood pooled on the mattress between her legs. Susan sat beside her, holding her hand. She held a cool washcloth to the girl’s forehead with her free hand. Susan looked at me, tears in her eyes. I walked to her and placed a hand on her shoulder. As much as I disliked her, she looked like she needed human touch and kindness.

  “Need a break?” I whispered to her.

  She nodded. I slipped my hand between hers and Louisa’s and gripped the young girls hand with my own. Susan stood and I took her place on the bed. “Boggs is downstairs,” I said to Susan. Crazy as it may seem, I figured they might take advantage of the alone time and talk. I figured that might be a good thing.

  Louisa gripped at my hand, hard. Her nails dug into my palm as she writhed in agony once again. It was so difficult to watch. Once the pain ebbed, Gus spoke softly to her.

  “Louisa, it’s Gus. I’m here, darlin.’”

  She opened her eyes, and looked at him. She was panting and had sweat on her face and chest.

  “Louisa, I know it hurts. I need you tell me exactly how many weeks you are.”

  She nodded. “Twenty-two now.” A tear rolled down her cheek. “It’s too early, he can’t come yet. The baby can’t come yet.”

  “I know darlin,’” said Gus in a soothing tone.

  “Emilie, when her water broke what color was it?”

  Emilie sat on the bed opposite me, and took Louisa’s other hand in her own. “It was a little bloody, and then clear,” she answered.

  “Ok,” he said. “Louisa. I want to be honest with you darlin.’ If your water broke there’s nothing we can do. It means the baby’s coming.”

  Louisa took a shuddering breath in, and then nodded quietly. Her grip on my hand tightened again she struggled through the pain. This bout seemed wo
rse than the one before.

  “Gus,” I whispered.

  He looked over at me. I didn’t want to say it out loud, so I motioned to Louisa’s private area with my free hand. He looked and nodded. There was a lot more blood than when I had entered the room. I tried to not look too closely, knowing it would make me sick to my stomach. Gus must have read my face.

  “Zoe, do you mind fetching a couple towels for me?” he asked quietly.

  “Sure,” I said. I let go of Louisa’s hand and stood. I left the room quickly and walked to the bathroom, where I collected a couple of bath towels. I thought again and also collected hand towels and a few wash cloths.

  I walked back into the room, set the towels alongside Louisa, and sat back down beside her. I didn’t want to be in the room but felt the need to stay with my friend through her pain.

  Louisa had just finished an agonizing episode and looked so tired. “I need to use the bathroom,” she mumbled quietly.

  “I think it’s best you stay in bed now, darlin,” said Gus.

  “No,” Louisa shook her head back and forth. “I need to go number two.”

  Gus sighed. “Louisa, you know I’m a nurse and birthing babies isn’t at all my specialty, but I know when the baby’s about to come it can feel like you need to go.”

  “No,” cried Louisa. “He can’t come! He can’t.”

  “I know, darlin,’ but he is. I’ll help you the best I can.”

  Her next contraction came closer this time. The bed filled with fresh blood and amniotic fluid. The smell made me cringe.

  “No,” moaned Louisa. “No, sweet baby, not yet,” she said quietly.

  “Louisa do you feel like pushing?” asked Gus.

  “No, no no,” she moaned. “No I can’t. I won’t,” she moaned as another pain ripped through her body. “No…”

  Her contractions were on top of one another now. Her body took over somehow, even though her mind was unwilling to let go of her baby.

  “Louisa,” said Gus firmly. “You have to open your legs. Pull your thighs back darlin.’”

  Emilie and I helped hold her legs up and back, not knowing what else to do. Louisa began moaning in Spanish as her abdomen tensed. A heavy gush of blood came out of her vagina, soaking both her legs and a towel that Gus had placed on the mattress by her bottom. My eyes widened as I saw a tiny foot hanging out from between her legs. I felt faint.

  Gus sat close to Louisa’s bottom, prepared to catch the baby who promised to come at any moment. He reached behind him and grabbed one of the bath towels I had brought in. Louisa’s body tensed again, and a tiny little human slid from her body. My vision was blurry from tears, but I watched in amazement as Gus held the amazingly small baby in the faded green towel. It looked so fragile. It was limp and had skin that looked almost translucent. It was a deep shade of purple. A thin umbilical cord still connected baby to mother.

  “It’s a boy,” said Gus quietly as he used the towel to wrap the newborn.

  Louisa’s body shuddered with her crying, which intensified once the baby’s gender was announced.

  “Louisa, do you want to hold him?” asked Gus.

  She nodded, and Gus placed the little bundle on her chest. Emilie and I both let go of her hands so she could hold the wee babe. One of his little hands lay limp on her chest, sticking out from the towel. She touched his tiny fingers with the tips of her own, and then traced his tiny brow with her index finger. His eyes were closed.

  “He’s so tiny,” she whispered. “He’s so still,” she said as fresh tears began to fall. She unwrapped his little body and stroked his tiny back with her palm. “Julio,” she whispered. “Baby Julio I love you.”

  The new baby squeaked, the tiniest human cry I’ve ever heard. He gasped for air, and cried one more time. Gus hung his head. I looked at Emilie, hopeful, but she just shook her head back and forth slowly. I looked back to the baby, who was once again still and a deep shade of blue. Gus covered Louisa’s hand and the infant with another towel, allowing her to stay in contact with him. Gus began using more of the towels to sop up blood that still escaped from Louisa.

  “Louisa,” he said. She didn’t answer. “Isa.”

  Louisa’s eyes flickered open.

  “Isa, listen to me. You’re bleeding. We need to get the placenta out, darlin.’ I need you to push this time. It won’t hurt baby Julio.”

  Louisa tried to push, but was too weak. Her usual glowing copper skin was pale. Gus wore a grave look on his face. He held the umbilical cord with the towel and applied gentle traction. A small clump of tissue slid out, attached to the umbilical cord, producing a sloppy suction-like sound. I cringed quietly. Following the lump of tissue was a large dark blood clot. I had seen enough, so looked away.

  Gus sighed loudly. “You can relax her legs, girls.”

  “Don’t we need to do something else?” I asked, sincerely not knowing.

  Gus shook his head. “No darlin, they’re both gone.”

  I looked at Emilie, not quite understanding. My red-headed friend had bloodshot eyes and looked pale.

  “Gone?” I asked. “What do you mean gone?”

  Emilie sniffled. “They’re with Julio now,” said Emilie, who choked on the words.

  “Why?” I asked, not knowing what else to say.

  Gus looked up. I think it was the first time I’d seen him really crying. “There was nothing I could do, Zoe. Louisa bled too much. The baby was too young to live. There’s just no way I could have saved either of them. You both need to go downstairs,” he added solemnly. “Zoe, leave your revolver with me?”

  “Why?” I asked again.

  Emilie stepped around the bed and came up beside me. “Go down with Boggs,” she said softly. I’ll be down soon. I need to stay here with Gus.”

  “You don’t have to, Em,” he said

  “I want to,” she said back. “I need to.”

  I knew in my heart what was going on, but was too numb to process it. I left my revolver with Gus and walked to the door. I turned to look back one last time.

  “Zoe?” asked Gus. He sounded exhausted. “Shut the door behind you?”

  I didn’t answer, but stepped into the hall and quietly closed the door. The dim hallway spun around me. I leaned against the wall and closed my eyes, and breathed. Just breathed.

  I started trembling and forced myself to walk down the hall, down the stairs, and into the living room where Boggs and Susan sat beside each other. Susan leaned against Boggs. They looked up at me. Boggs stood immediately, rushing to my side.

  “Zoe? What’s going on?” His voice was full of concern and fear.

  I felt myself starting to fall, and Boggs caught me in his arms.

  “Susan, help me…”

  Susan stood and came to our side. She wrapped an arm around me and she and Boggs helped me to the loveseat. I slumped into it, frozen in sadness and from the surreal situation.

  “The baby was born alive,” I said. My voice sounded distant. “They’re both gone now.”

  “Zoe?” Boggs asked. “Dead?”

  “Ya,” I whispered. I looked down at Boggs, who knelt in front of me. The baby was too early. She named him Julio. Gus said Louisa bled too much.” I started sobbing. “She got to hold him before she died, Boggs. He was so tiny.”

  Susan was sitting beside me, and she tenderly had an arm around me. How she could be holding me, her competition for Boggs, was beyond my understanding. How Louisa and her baby could be dead was beyond my understanding. How the dead could be walking the earth and devouring the living was beyond my understanding.

  Chapter 17

  I was able to hear Emilie moan in anger above over my own sobbing. Immediately after she cried out, I heard the sound of my revolver firing overhead. I felt my stomach drop, my skin went ice cold, and Susan began sobbing beside me. The flicker of intrusive thought in my head had been mercifully brief. Boggs stood and walked up the stairs slowly, leaving me and Susan to comfort each other.

  �
��What was that?” she asked me, her voice full of fear and disgust.

  “Louisa woke up,” was all I could choke out.

  I knew the door upstairs opened because Emilie’s crying got louder. I could hear Boggs’ muffled talking, and I could hear when Gus broke down for the first time since I had met him. The sound of a grown man weeping is in itself a frightening and heart wrenching thing.

  Gus’ expression of grief got louder for a brief period while he walked through the hall. I heard his bedroom door close and knew he had shut himself in the room as a way to cope.

  “I have to go to Boggs and Emilie,” I whispered to Susan.

  I stood, shakily.

  “Don’t leave me alone?” she begged. Her face was a mess of tears and grief.

  I held a hand out to her, and she took it. She stood and we walked the stairs together.

  “Susan, go into my room and wait? I’ll be back soon.”

  She nodded and let herself into the room I shared with Boggs. I hesitantly walked to the room where mother and baby had died and entered. The many candles that Emilie and Susan had lit earlier in the day still flickered. Boggs was standing at the foot of the bed, looking at the mother who in death still clung to her baby.

  “Where’s Emilie?” I asked quietly.

  He turned to me, his eyes threatening to spill tears of their own. “She’s with Gus. They’re a mess.”

  “I sent Susan to our room,” I said.

  Boggs nodded. “Louisa came back, Zoe. Gus had to…”

  I interrupted to spare him from having to explain. “I heard. The baby?” I asked.

  He shook his head. “It’s just been still. I told Gus I’d watch for awhile, though.”

  I noticed Boggs held my revolver in his right hand.

  “Maybe it won’t happen,” I said, hopeful.

  “Maybe not.”

  They say a watched pot never boils, but talking about it makes it happen. It was then that I heard that faint tiny cry again, and felt the dead baby invade my mind.

  Boggs looked at me for confirmation.

  I nodded once. “It’s turned.”

  He sighed. “What should we do?”