Winter at Cedarwood Lodge

by Rebecca Raisin

  “Right?” I laughed.

  A moment later, in walked Amory, wearing her gift from Isla and Micah. Flashing candy-cane earrings and a matching headband.

  “Aww you look so… Christmassy.” I grinned. I hadn’t seen Amory embrace the holidays with quite so much flamboyance so early in the morning before.

  “Coffee.”

  We laughed at Amory’s usual one-word dawn greeting, her Grinch-like tone a total opposite to her flashing festive accessories. Even on Christmas morning she was unable to communicate until caffeine was pumping through her veins. I poured her a gingerbread coffee and she gulped it down, then held the cup out for another, which she sipped a little more gingerly.

  I gave her the prerequisite three minutes to let it work its magic before saying: “Did you hear the sleigh bells last night?”

  She rolled her eyes dramatically. “Is that some kind of euphemism? Because if you want to know about my sex life all you need to do is ask.”

  A shocked giggle escaped me. “Amory!” Cruz turned away and did his best to appear busy, though I could see his shoulders shake with silent laughter.

  “What? Isn’t that what you meant?” she grinned, evil minx that she was.

  “No, it isn’t! I meant actual sleigh bells! I think someone in town must have been marching around as Santa last night. Maybe we missed a Christmas parade or something.”

  “Oh, my bad.” Her face was the picture of innocence but it was hard to concentrate when she had all manner of kitschy Christmas jewelry flashing from her head. “Of course something like that would be happening in a town like Evergreen, darling! There seems to be a festival for everything here.”

  I smiled as I took a sip of coffee. Amory was right, Evergreen prided itself on having an event for every season. I’d missed the autumn food festival, but the switching on of the town lights and the ginormous Christmas tree had been truly spectacular. And before long, the spring flower festival would be here.

  “And I see you’re wearing your gift,” Amory said, motioning to Cruz.

  On top of Cruz’s head was a novelty chef’s hat announcing, No soggy bottoms this Christmas!

  He grimaced. “Well, I figure I have three hundred and sixty-four days that I don’t have to wear it. And I only whipped it on when I heard footsteps and thought it might be Isla checking up on me.” With a grin, he pulled it off and threw it on the bench.

  “Oh no, here comes Isla now!” Amory hissed. I darted a glance over my shoulder, sure Isla and Micah were elsewhere. They’d left in the early hours of this morning, after our Christmas Eve celebrations finally came to a close, in order to make it to Micah’s family for Christmas.

  Cruz’s eyes widened and he fumbled and cursed as he stuffed it back on.

  “Just joking! Isla and Micah aren’t coming for breakfast today.”

  He narrowed his eyes and clutched at his heart. “You’re evil. Pure evil.”

  Amory laughed. “But you make it so easy!”

  Cruz was the epitome of politeness and it was almost impossible for us not to play practical jokes or tease him mercilessly. He took it in good humor, and it made the busy days a little more fun.

  “And,” I said, “Isla has spies. She’ll know if you’re not wearing your hat.”

  Shaking his head, he donned the offending item, and said with a smile, “It’s a lovely hat. The best.”

  “You’re a lucky man.” Amory stood to kiss him, and I felt a moment of pure joy for my friends.

  “You should see what Isla got for Micah’s parents. Bright-Kermit-green Christmas onesies. With matching slippers. They’ll certainly be warm, if nothing else.” Amory giggled.

  I blamed Henrietta from the giftshop in town for encouraging Isla; still, when we’d given out presents the night before, our laughter had turned into a full-fledged cackle-fest as the gifts got sillier by the moment. When she produced a talking elf you could teach to speak, the night had disintegrated into chaos with everyone wanting to take a turn, teaching the innocent elf some not-so-innocent phrases.

  It had been an endless evening of laughter until Micah had presented Isla with her very own real-life constellation that he’d named after her; we’d let out a collective aww, and the night had ended on a sweet note with everyone loved up, and me dreaming of being loved up…

  Speaking of loved up. “Where’s Kai?” I knew full well that man did not sleep in, rain, hail, shine or snow.

  “Trudging up the mountain,” Cruz said as he flipped pancakes. “He invited me but, tempting as it was, I couldn’t let you girls wake up Christmas morning without a decent breakfast and gingerbread coffee now, could I?”

  “Riiiiight,” I said. “Sure, you couldn’t.”

  He ducked his head and laughed. “I’m all for exercise but not in a blizzard. Still, he should be back soon, he left ages ago.”

  I tutted, glancing out the window at the snowflakes seesawing down. The scene was Christmas-card perfect when you were warm beside a fire inside. Battling the elements outside was another thing entirely.

  “I’ll stoke the potbelly stove so he can defrost when he gets back, crazy fool that he is.” I’d never known anyone like Kai. There was something in nature that pulled at him, like he needed time each day to be alone, somewhere he could hear himself think. I couldn’t believe he’d soon be heading back to San Fran. Cedarwood didn’t feel quite right when he was gone.

  Fairy lights blinked intermittently from window frames, brightening the somber skies. Cruz busied himself folding fresh berries into sheets of puff pastry, and Amory drank gingerbread coffee like her life depended on it.

  In the silence I thought of my mom, and how she’d react when she found out Isla had discovered the maze last night. In my heart of hearts, I knew I couldn’t bring it up today. She would shut down and it had the potential to ruin Christmas. Mom was a sensitive soul at the best of times and the idea of telling her made my stomach somersault. How would she react? I had no idea how to broach it with her.

  “What are you making?” I asked as a pan sizzled, glad for the distraction. Cruz didn’t just cook for the sake of cooking, he went all out, even though it was just the four of us eating Christmas breakfast. All good practice, he claimed, because he was rusty after having worked in finance for the last ten years, and wanted to get his skills sharpened before guests started arriving at the lodge in the New Year and ahead of the events we had booked.

  “It’s a berry nice Christmas tree. There’ll be a star at this end,” he said, indicating the top of an intricately folded pastry shaped like a tree, “and I’ll serve it with lashings of Chantilly cream, and raspberry compote.”

  “I might have to walk up the mountain after eating that, to make room for lunch at Aunt Bessie’s as well. I can see today is going to be mostly about gorging, and I am totally OK with that.”

  “Me too,” Amory said, lifting her coffee mug in agreement. “After all, it’s Christmas and it would be offensive not to. What time are we expected at Aunt Bessie’s?”

  “Any time before lunch. I was going to leave after breakfast and help her out…” I ignored Amory’s snigger at the idea of me attempting to help cook. “…And you guys can make your way there whenever you’re ready. Micah and Isla are spending the day with his family, but they might pop over late afternoon if they get time.”

  “And Kai?” She waggled her eyebrows.

  “Are you having another eyelash malfunction?” I asked innocently.

  She laughed. “Touché.”

  “Kai can come with me, or hitch a ride with you guys. It’s up to him.”

  With a flick of her hair, like she was considering it, she said, “Oh, we’re full up, sorry. He’ll have to go with you.”

  “Is that so?” I folded my arms and stared her down, knowing she was trying to push us together, and secretly glad about it – not that I’d let her know that! “Full up with what exactly? There’s only two of you!”

  “Presents.” She waved her hand. “You know how
it is.”

  Cruz deftly ignored our conversation and put the tray of berry pastry in the oven, the jammy smell of warmed fruit scenting the air.

  “Well, I’m sure you can squeeze him in if he doesn’t want to go so early. He might have other things to do first.”

  Like call his parents. In Australia it would be dinnertime on Christmas Day, and I wondered if Kai had called them yet.

  Were they sitting around their Christmas dinner table with long faces, trying to be jovial for guests but failing miserably, worried their son was elsewhere in the world and hadn’t made contact? I knew the whole situation was complex but Kai was too caring to let anyone suffer. Especially on such a family-oriented day. Or so I hoped.

  “Darling, here he is now. Let’s ask him, shall we?” Amory gestured to the window and I caught a glimpse of Kai as he jogged past, shoulders dusted white with snow.

  A few minutes later, he walked into the kitchen. “Morning all,” he said, rubbing his hands together for warmth. His wavy blond hair was mussed from the sheeting wind and snow, his cheeks stained pink from the crisp air. If you were into rugged, super-hot guys with a toned physique, he’d have been right up your alley.

  Phwoar, he was certainly breathtaking to look at. Smile, act normal! The kiss from the night before replayed in my mind, and it was all I could do not to get starry-eyed and fall into a Kai daydream.

  I nodded hello, not trusting myself to speak, lest I say something inane.

  “Morning,” Amory said, flashing him a smile. “We were just discussing the logistics of Christmas lunch. Is it OK if you head to Aunt Bessie’s with Clio a little earlier than us? We’ve got some errands to run and don’t want to hold you up.”

  Errands to run on Christmas Day? She was incorrigible.

  Still, Kai swallowed the lie. “Sure, that’d be great.” When he smiled at me I pretended to be interested in a spot out the window, so I could let the blush creeping up my cheeks settle. But boy, it was hard to know how to act, or what to say, when we kept stealing kisses and then acting like nothing had happened. With Kai’s current family issues lurking in his heart, I didn’t want to be another complication, and he would be leaving soon anyway. Maybe back to Australia, if they mended bridges, and did I really want to pine for someone who was that far away? It was better to protect my heart, and wait and see what happened before I plunged headfirst into anything.

  When Kai grabbed a coffee and sat next to me I tried hard to look composed. The kitchen was a cozy nook, warm from the old belching potbelly stove, and full of delicious foodie scents as Cruz cooked a feast while we chatted about every little thing. The only problem was, Amory kept throwing me secret looks that any fool could see. Each time, I frowned at her and gave an almost imperceptible shake of my head. She knew Kai was leaving soon, so I don’t know what she expected me to do about it. Instead, I waited patiently for the breakfast Cruz was preparing. He seemed to be whipping and baking what appeared to be enough food to feed a small country. Oh, how I loved Christmas!

  “Cruz, you know there’s only four of us, right?” Amory called over as he placed another tray in the oven.

  “You can’t call it Christmas morning if there’s no monkey bread,” he said, as if we were crazy for even thinking such a thing.

  “Monkey bread?” Amory asked.

  “You haven’t had monkey bread? Please tell me you’ve at least tried Christmas tamales?”

  She gave a quick shake of her head, her candy-cane earrings swinging and blinking merrily.

  “You, my lucky lady, are about to be educated on what makes a perfect Christmas breakfast.”

  I wasn’t sure what monkey bread was either but it certainly looked pretty damn good. A man who could cook, and better yet was actually professionally trained in the culinary arts, was a keeper. Even undomestic goddess Amory could see it and was coming around to our small-town ways. In Evergreen, if someone cooked you food, you damn well ate it. There was no I’m on a diet here. People would frown like you were insane if you so much as uttered the words put the dressing on the side… or hold the butter.

  Once upon a time there’d been zero chance Amory would have sat down and consumed so many varieties of carbs – neither would I, for that matter! In New York we’d been so accustomed to following fads. So much had changed in just a few months being back home and now she was much more lax about restrictions and would end up fighting me over the last gingerbread cookie. Another positive to living out here meant we got plenty of exercise – zooming around the grounds and inside the lodge all day every day, including trudging up the stairs a million times, sure worked up an appetite, that and the abundance of fresh air, or that was my excuse anyway. Sure, it wasn’t a gym on the Upper East Side, but it was a hell of a lot prettier and a lot more fun.

  An hour later the table was laden with the biggest Christmas breakfast I’d ever seen. I touched my belly in apology, because there was no way I was going to be able to hold back from demolishing it all: from the monkey bread and caramel sauce to the crisp berry nice Christmas tree; the steaming cheese and chili tamales; and a helping of eggnog pancakes with lashings of butterscotch cream. And that’s what I could see in front of me. Cruz was still stirring pots and flicking frying pans. We’d be living on leftovers for a week at this rate.

  Beside me, Kai sent a look to the heavens as if he was also apologizing, then helped himself to a huge serving of the pastry tree, the bright berries as fragrant as they were pretty. With a grin, he took up a slice of monkey bread and drowned it in caramel sauce.

  “Your body is your temple, hey?” Amory teased him.

  I grinned. I could hardly believe it. Kai – who ran up mountains for fun, practiced yoga at midnight and waxed lyrical on the pros of fermented vegetables – had a sweet tooth? It was good to see he was a mere mortal…

  He blushed. “Well, I’ll be extra nice to my body tomorrow.”

  “And what a body it is,” I said, and instantly wanted to slap my forehead. I coughed. “What I meant was…” Yeah, Clio, what did you mean? “…You can obviously see that you work out, and um… eat well, and that reflects in your… erm, physique.” Kill me.

  He winked, which of course provoked what I’d come to call tremble-leggedness, and I wondered if there was actually something wrong with me. Honestly, my brain was betraying me in the worst way. I didn’t dare look at Amory, even though I could feel her gaze on me like a laser beam.

  Heat crept from my toes to my nose, and I concentrated really hard on staring into the coffee in my mug. I’d have buried my head in it if I could have. It was like being a teenager all over again… Was it glaringly obvious to those around me?

  It was kissing him again that had done it. My lips twitched every time I remembered, and he’d even stolen into my dreams. It was almost impossible to eat because my nerves were fluttering in my belly like the tips of butterfly wings, but I made an effort, since it was Christmas and Cruz had cooked such a feast. I couldn’t possibly let any of it go to waste…

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  After the gargantuan breakfast we’d put away, we were about to head off and somehow eat more. I already felt like napping, a surefire sign it was Christmas, because I was floppy with relaxation and a very full belly.

  Kai and I piled the backseat of my car with gifts and bottles of wine for Mom and Aunt Bessie. The sudden need to be organized and make sure we didn’t forget anything calmed my nerves. It was only a fifteen-minute drive to Aunt Bessie’s, but with icy roads it would probably take twice as long to get there.

  All set, we jumped in and turned the heat to high. We wove through the slushy streets, passing children bundled up in scarves, puffer jackets and mittens making snowmen in their front yards. Others tried out their new sleds, careering down long driveways and landing in a giggling heap amidst piles of snow. I smiled, remembering the excitement of Christmas as a child, waking up to find Santa had visited, discovering reindeer footprints in the snow, left by Aunt Bessie, who always made th
e magic real, despite whatever was going on at home.

  “What are Australian Christmases like?” I asked, breaking the silence. Did his parents fuss over him, wearing beaming smiles, proud that they’d raised him right? The thought of them missing him today of all days hurt my heart.

  “Hot.” He grinned and his eyes lit up as if with memories of merry Christmases. “We have a traditional lunch with turkey and all the trimmings, but we also do seafood on the barbecue, and eat outside to escape the heat in the kitchen. My parents live by the beach so we usually go for a swim at some point, and share a bottle of wine as the sun sets. It’s always a scorcher of a day. Summertime in Australia.”

  “It must be so strange being here – all the snow and cold?”

  He laughed. “It is, yes, but I like the change. It’s good to experience that American Christmas you see in the movies.”

  We lapsed into another silence as we drove the snowy route. “I wanted to thank you, though, for inviting me to spend Christmas with your family. It means a lot, Clio.”

  His gaze was intense, as if he wasn’t only thinking of my family. “They must be missing you this year,” I said, sensing he was thinking of his parents. His body stiffened slightly. Bingo. Part of me was relieved he cared; of course he cared, he was Kai after all. Maybe he just needed a push to reach out to his parents again. Someone to be the voice of reason? “Did you speak to your parents today?”

  He took a full minute to answer. “No, I haven’t called yet.” He let out a sigh. “I don’t feel great about it either. I dialed so many times, and then hung up before it connected. Like, what do I say? ‘Hey, Merry Christmas! It’s your son who’s not actually your son.’” There was a bitterness to his voice, and real pain shone in his eyes. I knew he didn’t want to hurt them; he just didn’t know how to be this new Kai who’d found out he was adopted.