Fall With Me

by Julie Particka

  She wasn’t asking though, and I was the guy who was supposed to make sure he kept it in his pants. I eased her legs off my lap and stood. There was an afghan draped over the end of the couch. All I had to do was cover her with it and walk away. If I cleared up the dishes, I could still be out of the house in under two minutes.

  Problem was, she needed her rest, and I knew she’d sleep like crap on the couch. I picked her up and carried her upstairs. Finding her room wasn’t too difficult considering it was the one that had a half-packed suitcase at the foot of the bed.

  The second her body hit the mattress, though, Jenna’s eyes fluttered open and she clung to me. “Don’t go.”

  “Shhhh…go to sleep.” When I tried to pull away, she refused to release me. It wasn’t like I had people waiting for me at my place. If she needed me to stay, I could do that. “Okay. I’ll crash on the couch. If you need me—”

  “No,” she whispered, her voice small in a way that seemed too weighty for sleep. “I don’t want to be alone. Please stay with me, Sutton.”

  And exactly as I’d predicted, my resolve flew out the window. I couldn’t say no to her. Not this time.

  “Whatever you need, Jem.”

  Chapter Seven

  -Jenna-

  There was something to be said for a solid night’s sleep filled with good dreams, especially if they weren’t the kind I could admit to having.

  Waking up to find one of those dreams lying right next to me brought totally different words to mind.

  Shit. Sutton’s in my bed. He’s in my bed, with his arm around me, and I don’t know what to do with him. Especially not with the hard-on pressing against the crack of my ass. Why don’t I have panties on again?

  Sutton pulled me closer, murmuring something unintelligible as he nuzzled the curve of my neck. Still asleep, he managed a move that ensured that if he wanted to put his erection to use, I’d be ready. Kind of wished I had a breath mint, though.

  What the hell, Jenna? What happened to avoiding him? Now you’re thinking about a naked wake-up call?

  I’d invited him to stay. I’d practically begged him to stay. Recalling the night before, I didn’t have a good reason other than I’d felt safe with him. Cared for.

  Happy.

  Being with Sutton made me feel things I hadn’t felt in forever. I think I’d forgotten I could feel them. And damn it if having him here, like this, didn’t seem right. I needed some “right” in the middle of all the wrong of my life.

  His visit last night proved he cared about me. And the kisses I kept craving were a sure sign we had something brewing beyond friendship. Working together every day was going to put a strain on that and keep shoving us together until one of us cracked. I hadn’t realized until waking in his arms how badly I didn’t want us to fall apart. Sure, sex could affect our friendship, but not having sex could, too. And when I was with Sutton, I practically forgot about the whole broken engagement debacle. I felt whole again.

  If not having sex six years ago hadn’t ruined our chances, surely having sex now wouldn’t, either. Whether or not it was true, I had to believe it.

  Biting my lip, I wriggled toward the nightstand. I caught the edge of the drawer under my fingernails and managed to pull it open. Reaching inside involved moving farther from the warmth of his embrace.

  Please let it be there. If Mom had found my stash and tossed it…

  I hissed in a breath as the box sliced my thumb. The pain was worth it though as I squeezed the little packet between two fingers and collapsed on the bed. Sutton woke with a surprised sounding grunt.

  I knew this game, knew him. He’d feel guilty and move away. Before he had the chance, I rolled toward him. “Don’t go.”

  Sunlight streamed through the window, making the highlights in his dark hair shine. I barely resisted the urge to run my fingers through it, but the way he looked at me said I had to go right for what I wanted or he’d bolt. Hell, he might bolt anyway. Too late to change my mind, and I didn’t want to anyway. I held up the condom, the light catching on the foil. “Fall with me?”

  He blinked a couple times before he clumsily caught my wrist. His eyes flashed from the condom to my face and, with the way his jaw worked, I had a feeling I didn’t want to know what was going through his head. It didn’t matter. I’d already opened the door; I wasn’t about to close it without an answer.

  “Sutton, this is the second time I’ve asked you to have sex with me. I’m not drunk. I’m not sixteen. I’m not even feverish or tired or…anything. If you say no this time, I’m going to accept that you don’t want to, and I won’t ask again. I promise not to be that girl.”

  Before I had time to second-guess the decision—before I had time to close my eyes and make a wish—Sutton flipped me over, pinning me on my back. His chest heaved with every breath, like his body was fighting his mind for control. Then he looked at me, and there was so much in his gaze that my own breath caught. “Stop saying those words like they’re a curse. Jenna Marie Brandt. Jem. You have always been that girl for me. The one I dream about. The one I want.”

  His lips crushed against mine, and I stopped caring about words or even breathing. Every emotion I’d seen play over his features was in that kiss. The hunger, the frustration, the regret, and a pain I didn’t understand.

  I drank it in with every caress of tongues. I bled my own feelings every time his teeth grazed my lips. The walls we’d erected between us, the ones made of snark and hostility, crumbled under the assault.

  By the time we came up for air, my soul lay bare before him.

  He brushed the hair off my forehead, tucking it behind my ear, and that simple gesture made me shiver. “Are you sure you want this?”

  “I’m sure I want you.” It didn’t matter if he was a rebound, or that he was Lacey’s brother, or that I worked with him. I’d wanted him for as long as I could remember thinking about sex beyond imaginary flings with movie stars, and being with him made me want to live again.

  The pain over Adam and Lacey’s betrayal disappeared when I let myself just be with Sutton. The past didn’t matter anymore, and there was no future where having that kind of peace was a bad thing. “Please.”

  He lowered himself, brushing a feather-soft kiss over my lips. “I don’t think I have it in me to ever refuse you again.”

  “Don’t make promises you can’t keep. Just take me.”

  “I won’t take you, Jenna, but I’ll happily make love to you.”

  Though I’d loved him from afar since sophomore year of high school, I wouldn’t let myself believe his words were anything more than a prettier variation on a theme. Fuck. Have sex. Make love. I didn’t care as long as it meant Sutton inside me.

  He sat on his heels and drew me up, sliding my tank top over my head. My hair fell in a tangled curtain, and he brushed it back again. I twisted toward his touch, my cheek falling into his palm like it was made to fit there. He tipped my chin up and his mouth moved as if he were going to say something; instead he kissed me again before laying me against my pillows.

  The gentlest touch on my ass had me lifting my hips off the bed, and my shorts disappeared. He cradled me as I sank onto the mattress, sliding over my hips until his thumbs pressed against my clit. I sucked in a breath, and his lips curled at the sound. One thumb circled, putting pressure on the swollen nub, while he lowered himself next to me and took my nipple in his mouth.

  “Oh, God…”

  He smiled against my breast, then said, “Name’s Sutton, but I forgive you for the mix-up.”

  There wasn’t time to retort. He plunged two fingers inside me, and I closed my eyes as my spine arched off the bed. It was too much and not enough. It’d never be enough.

  As his ridiculously talented fingers continued their assault, I decided I didn’t care. If I could have this forever, I’d be the happiest person on earth.

  Then his tongue was on me, lapping at my center, while his fingers still worked inside, and I didn’t care about happine
ss, either. I lost myself to him, giving up everything as he drove me higher. Then he sucked on my clit and stars exploded behind my eyes. As the orgasm rolled through me, Sutton eased up and the world started to invade again.

  All the reasons we shouldn’t be doing this came crashing down on me and a tear trickled down my cheek. No. No way was I letting reality ruin this. It could have the rest of my life, but it wasn’t taking this one, perfect moment.

  “Please, Sutton.” I prayed he didn’t hear the desperation in my voice. “Fill me.” I wasn’t only talking about his cock, either. I needed him inside me, closer to me, to make the emptiness in my heart and soul disappear. I needed him to fill me in order be whole again.

  “Are you crying?”

  “I want you closer. Please.” I opened my eyes, hoping they showed every inch of my need.

  Whatever he saw must have satisfied him because he slid his boxers off and rolled on the condom. When he pushed inside me, the world narrowed to the two of us and I breathed again. His slow, shallow thrusts rubbed against the spot that drove me mad. I gripped his ass, my nails digging in as I tried to pull him deeper.

  Instead, he drew almost all the way out and slid inside me so slowly I started to claw at his back and arms. Another inch. And another. I don’t know how long it took until he gave me what I’d asked for and sheathed himself in me fully.

  My eyelids fluttered. I couldn’t keep them open because seeing was too much stimulus. I felt him everywhere.

  This time when he pulled out, he pinned my wrists to the mattress and thrust into me, deep, over and over, sending me into that blissful space where I felt everything and nothing and just him.

  His fingers tightened on my wrist and that extra bit of pressure made me open my eyes again. As our eyes locked on each other, he squeezed tighter, and my insides contracted in response as an orgasm took me. His muscles went tight with his next thrust and he followed me into the glorious abyss.

  When he collapsed, he rolled my body toward his, cradling me in his arms as he kissed me everywhere he could reach without letting me go. It was like he was trying to keep the world away by touching me.

  It didn’t matter now, though. The veil of illusion had been torn away when I’d looked at him. There was no pretending. When he’d said “make love,” it had meant more to him than pretty words. I didn’t know if he realized it, but I saw it in his eyes. This wasn’t merely sex to Sutton.

  Which meant when the afterglow faded, everything could come crashing down around us.

  Around me.

  Again.

  Chapter Eight

  -Sutton-

  I held on to Jenna until she nudged at my arms. “I need a shower.”

  “Oh, yeah. Sorry.”

  She sat up and tugged her comforter around her body, like I hadn’t just touched and tasted every inch of her. “Do you want to…come with?”

  Yes. The hesitation in her voice gave me enough strength to resist, though. “No. It’s okay.”

  I would have felt guilty had she not released what sounded like a relieved sigh as she walked through the door. Seemed we both needed some distance. Sex with Jenna had really not been on the agenda. Hell. None of this had.

  Come over. Make sure she’s okay. If she’s up to it, talk about the plan.

  I’d managed everything except that last part. I’d thought I could go home and return today when she was stronger and talk to her, but I hadn’t left. Then she’d gone and thrown in the “I won’t ask again” bit, and I was done for. Consequences be damned.

  I banged my head against the wall. Building something with Jenna would be amazing. Before sex, I’d wondered at the possibilities, going as far as to ponder how we could best ease Lacey into the change. Now I knew there was more fire between us than just the banter. And there would be no easing into anything.

  This wasn’t about me and Jenna, at least not as long as we had Lacey to deal with. Jenna’s other words returned to haunt me. I wasn’t choosing between them. I wasn’t. I couldn’t let my sister end up with that douche, though. I’d been that douche not very long ago, and she deserved better. Saving her had to come first or I’d never be able to settle into my own life. I could manage both, couldn’t I?

  If I didn’t stop hitting the wall, my head was going to go straight through it. I shoved off the bed and, after a half-assed cleanup involving the tissues on the nightstand, I yanked on my pants, stalked to Jenna’s dresser, and took a good long look at myself in the mirror.

  God, I looked like shit. Not Jenna-in-the-grip-of-food-poisoning-shit, but shit nonetheless. I braced my hands on the wood, not wanting to think about how little sleep I’d gotten since Lacey had returned from college. Last night had been the best rest I’d had in weeks.

  Something behind the edge of the dresser reflected the sunlight. Curious, I fished it out. Pictures, the sides torn as if they’d been ripped from the edge of the mirror. One of Jenna and Lacey at the beach—all bikinis and smiles. The other… My lips twisted into the sneer I’d been wearing far too much lately. Jenna and Adam, his arm around her waist, holding her tight like he owned her.

  I’d seen him do the same thing with Lacey.

  It ended now. He wasn’t going to touch another woman I cared about like that if I had anything to say about it. And Jenna sure as hell wasn’t going to spend the rest of her life without her best friend.

  Like it or not, I needed to rip the Band-Aid off now. As far as afterglow conversations went, it didn’t hit the top ten. Or the top thousand.

  I’d be lucky if Jenna didn’t castrate me before she kicked me out. At the very least, maybe she’d understand that Lacey cared about her and they still had a salvageable friendship—if we got rid of Adam. If she was too angry to deal with things logically now, I’d try again after taking her to dinner or something.

  When she walked into to her bedroom, I did a double take. I’d anticipated having to ask her to get dressed or be forced to have the conversation with her in a towel. Instead, she was fully clothed—as if she’d run to the laundry room and grabbed clean clothes before coming back. Her wet hair, however, hung against her T-shirt, staining the light gray black.

  Before I managed to open my mouth, she waved toward the bed. “I think we need to talk.”

  “Agreed.” Somehow, as I sat on the edge of the mattress, I figured her version of talk and mine had very little in common. Especially when she pulled her desk chair over and sat on it—a good three feet away from me.

  “It’s not any secret I had a thing for you in high school, and my behavior this morning proves it hasn’t exactly disappeared over time.” She twisted the hem of her T-shirt. “I’m more than a little messed up right now though, and if I get involved with you, the only thing I’m going to do is drag you down with me. I mean, if we could keep it nothing more than sex, I’d be on board. I’m not sure I can do that with you, though.”

  And I sure as hell didn’t want to do that with her—or with anyone anymore, but especially not her. “What are you saying exactly? Because this is sounding an awful lot like ‘I had a great time last night, but I’ll see you when I see you.’” I knew those words very well—I’d used them too many times.

  “I’m saying I need to purge Adam Richmond from my system before we can have a relationship without my personal history trying to burn it to the ground. You said you had a plan for me to get revenge. I need to hear it, and the sooner the better.”

  The fuck? No. Fuck no. I wasn’t okay with waiting until after we dealt with Lacey in order to build a real relationship, not to mention I needed her commitment to make the plan succeed. “Sorry, that doesn’t entirely work for me.”

  “Damn it.” She pushed to her feet so fiercely that the chair tipped onto its rear legs and clattered to the floor. “Do not make this harder than it is. You know I’m right and—”

  Crap. I hadn’t meant to drive her into a rage. Regardless of her agitation, it was now or never. “Sit down.” Oops. That might have been more terse
than I’d intended. Jenna froze, mid-emphatic gesture. “Please sit down, Jem. There’s stuff you don’t know. I’d planned to broach it delicately, but you’re trying to remove that option. I’m going to get everything in the open. You’re going to want to be sitting when I do.”

  When she yanked the chair up and flopped onto it, anger lit her eyes. Great. Time to do some major damage control along with spilling news she wasn’t going to want to hear. I could only hope after I was done, we could move forward.

  She crossed her arms over her chest, and I had to resist the urge to stare. She’d made it hard by the fact that she obviously hadn’t found a bra in the laundry room. “Talk, and you better make it good since you just ordered me around in my own freaking bedroom.”

  Band-Aid ripping time. “Lacey and Adam are engaged.”

  If I’d ever had any desire to punch Jenna in the gut, those words did it more effectively than my fist could have. I wished like hell I could take them back or, better yet, make them untrue so I’d never had to tell her in the first place.

  “When?”

  “Mother’s Day weekend. He came to brunch, and she introduced him to the family as her fiancé.”

  Her breath came in little huffs, and tears glistened in her eyes. “That was days after he broke up with me.”

  “I know.”

  “Days, Sutton! Jesus.” The tears fell as she yanked on the edge of her shirt. I was pretty sure she would have torn the thing apart if she’d been alone. “I’m such an idiot.”

  I left my perch on her bed and gathered her in my arms. “No. You aren’t. You trusted a man who told you he loved you. That doesn’t make you an idiot, it makes him the worst kind of ass.”

  As she gasped for air, she buried her face against my chest, her tears burning tracks on my skin. “Why are you telling me this? I could have found out later, after I was over him. Something…”

  “The announcement was in the paper yesterday. You were going to see it soon enough, and I didn’t want you to be alone when it happened. Plus, there wasn’t time, not if we want to put a stop to it.” Even if I hadn’t told her, there wouldn’t have been time to heal. Not really. “The wedding is Fourth of July weekend.”