Never Let Go (Haven, Montana Book 2)

by Jill Sanders

  He rolled, sending her sprawling on the bed, gazing up at him. He quickly pulled on a condom before her legs wrapped around his hips, holding on to him. Skin to skin, he slid into her and let those feelings flow out.

  Addy lay there, trying to catch her breath. Her ears rang, her head floated a mile up in the clouds, and her body was vibrating from the aftershock that was Trent McGowan.

  His heavy body was still pinning her to the mattress, but her arms and legs had long since released his body. His lips still nuzzled against the spot below her left ear, sending goosebumps traveling down her arm every time he let out a breath.

  When her mind finally cleared from the fog, she remembered his words. Everything he’d told her with every pump of his hips.

  Addy, I’ve been so in love with you. I can’t imagine my life without you. I want you so bad, to be here with me like this forever.

  She felt her mind snap into gear as her body settled. When he moved, he took her with him until she was cupped in front of him, his arms wrapped around her.

  “Did you mean all that?” she asked, breaking the silence.

  “Yes.” She felt him kiss her neck. “I’m sorry if it scares you, but . . .” He sighed. “I couldn’t hold it in any longer. I’ve been wanting to tell you for a while.”

  “What’s a while?” she asked.

  He howled with laughter, shaking the bed and her along with it. “The day you drove back into town.”

  She squirmed around to meet his eyes. “You couldn’t have known all that when I first got back.”

  “Sure I could.” His fingers tangled in her hair. “Part of me knew all that before you left.”

  She shook her head. “I don’t . . .”

  “Believe me?” He kissed her. “Believe me. I’ve told you the reason I never hit on you. It was all true. You were the one that got away. The one I would have always wished, dreamed, that I’d asked out.” He shook his head. “I was stupid back then.”

  “You couldn’t have felt that way about me. You didn’t even really know me.”

  “I knew enough. I knew you were one of the kindest, most sincere people I’d ever met. I remember once in grade school, when a bird had flown into the window, you jumped in to stop Brian and his friends from tossing it around. Then you carried it in your shirt into the school nurse. You spent almost a month nursing it back to health before letting it go.”

  “You remember that?” She sat up slightly and looked down at him. Even she’d forgotten about Mr. Thomas, the name she’d given the hurt bird. “I didn’t release him,” she admitted. “I only told people I did. Mr. Thomas died a few days later.”

  “I’m sorry,” he said simply. “See, even now there is sadness behind those blue eyes for a bird that died years ago.”

  She shook her head. “I thought I had you pegged.” She took him in—her man. His hair had grown out again. Reaching up, she brushed it away from his eyes. “You need another haircut.”

  He laughed. “So?” he challenged, taking her hand and stilling it.

  “So?” She sighed.

  “Addy, are you going to leave me hanging here?”

  She gazed deep into those hazel-brown eyes that filled her waking and dreaming life now. “Trent McGowan, if you’re trying to get me to say that I love you back . . .”

  His quick smile and the flash of that sexy dimple was her answer.

  She caved.

  “I’ve been in love with you since first grade. When I saw you in your gym shorts and no T-shirt playing basketball with your brothers on the playground.” She leaned in and kissed him. “But as an adult, I believe I really started loving you the moment you kissed me, the moment you made me yours.”

  He brought her against him, tight; their limbs tangled as their lips fused.

  “Stay with me?” he asked between kisses as he claimed her again. “Move in with me, build a home, have dogs, horses, and kids with me.”

  “Yes,” she said, tears sliding down her cheeks. “Yes to all of it.”

  He stopped suddenly, looking at her. “Yes? As in . . .”

  “Trent McGowan, you are not going to spoil this.” She used her legs around his hips to get him back down to her. “I’ll expect a proper proposal . . . later.” She yanked on his hair and had his lips back where she wanted them, against hers.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT

  Trent stood, in his monkey suit, in front of a crowd of about a hundred and fifty people. He wanted to reach up and remove the bow tie, but he knew his mother was watching him closely. His eyes scanned the front row and sure enough, her eyes narrowed as she looked at him. As a reply, he gave her a big smile, and in return she nodded her head slightly.

  He scanned a few seats over, and suddenly it wasn’t the material around his neck that was tight.

  Addy looked . . . amazing, damn hot, sexy as hell, and totally his.

  He didn’t think even Kristen in her wedding dress matched Addy’s beauty today.

  The blue dress she’d chosen matched her eyes perfectly. A deep slit traveled down her chest, exposing the sexy valley between her breasts. The sleeves were slight, barely passing her shoulders. Her kitten heels added a few inches to her height and caused her hips to sway when she walked.

  Some of her long dark-amber hair flowed in tight little ringlets over her shoulders, while some of it was piled up on top of her head. Silver earrings bobbed from her ears as she talked. She even wore a matching necklace that lay directly against the spot he loved to kiss.

  He almost missed the main-event kiss with that thought, but Addy pointed and he turned in time to see his brother kiss his new wife.

  For the next hour, they talked to almost everyone who had come to the wedding—everyone Tyler and Kristen had invited, as well as Addy’s mother. The woman actually had a smile on her face and was laughing at what the person sitting next to her had said.

  “Looks like she’s having fun.” Trent nodded to where Victoria was.

  Addy’s eyes traveled to the spot. “Yes, that’s Dr. Shultz. They seem to be getting along very well.”

  He turned her toward him. “Does that bother you?” He had heard the sadness in her voice.

  “Some.” She took a deep breath. “But I know that no matter what my father did, they weren’t right for each other.”

  “Who knows,” he said, glancing over her head again at the pair. “Maybe they’re just talking about her new dog.”

  “Ralphie,” she supplied.

  He shook his head. “Did she name it? Or did it come with that particular attachment?”

  “She named him.” Addy smiled. “Why? Don’t you think it’s as unique as Happy?” Her eyebrows shot up, then she turned on her heels and walked toward their table.

  “Hey, you let me name him,” he said after he’d pulled out her chair and they sat. “I wonder how he’s doing in his crate?” Concern flooded him.

  “I’m sure he’s fine. We need to kennel train him sooner or later. He can’t always go with you everywhere.”

  “Why not?” He checked out the crowd. “I doubt anyone here would mind . . .”

  Just then Kristen and Tyler took their seats nearby.

  “She looks amazing,” Addy whispered to him. “She’s actually glowing. I never thought it was a real thing.”

  He agreed. He couldn’t help but smile as his brother leaned over and said something, causing Kristen to laugh. “Yeah, both of them are so happy, it’s almost sickening.” He reached under the table and took her hand in his.

  “I hope we don’t look that pathetic,” she joked.

  “Worse, I’m afraid. They’re an old married couple now. They are allowed to act like that.”

  “Oh?” Her eyebrows shot up.

  “Yeah, we still have some time.” He leaned closer. “I was hoping for a fall wedding.”

  “Fall?” She blinked a few times. “This fall?”

  “Why not?” he asked.

  “Because you still haven’t officially said the words.”


  “I haven’t?” He frowned, then scooted his chair back with force and knelt before her. He didn’t realize that the crowd had grown quiet or that every eye at the wedding was on him. All he cared about was her.

  “Addy, I’ve never thought I’d have someone like you in my life. Someone so kind, smart, caring and someone who takes my breath away when you look at me and smile.” She smiled now and he gasped dramatically in response, getting a larger smile and a joyful laugh from her. “You light up my nights, fill my days with joy, and I can’t imagine spending another day on earth without your promise that you’ll stay with me for the rest of our lives. Make me the happiest man at my brother’s wedding.” He winked at Tyler. “Well, maybe the happiest single man here,” he said to broad laughter. “Marry me, please,” he said when the laughter died down. He pulled out the small box he’d hid from her for the past few weeks. One look at the ring and he’d known it was perfect for her.

  A large oval dark-blue topaz sat between two smaller mystic-blue topazes in twisted shapes. The ring was so delicate, so unique, that he knew it had been made for Addy.

  She allowed him to slide it on her finger, and he suppressed a sigh of relief when it pushed perfectly into place. Tears were slowly streaming down Addy’s cheeks, and he stood up and kissed them away.

  “Yes, Trent McGowan, I’ll put you out of your misery and marry you,” she teased, then laughed when he swung her up into a deep kiss.

  “My top,” she gasped into his ear. “I don’t want to flash everyone here.”

  He turned her so that he was blocking her from everyone’s view as she fixed her dress quickly. Then he turned them back around as everyone cheered.

  “Congratulations, Addy and Trent. I hope you two will be as happy as Kristen and I are,” Tyler broke in and everyone turned to him. “Now that my brother has stolen a little of our spotlight,” Tyler continued as everyone laughed, “I’m supposed to tell everyone that dinner is ready.” He motioned to the long tables that sat along the side of the house.

  Addy and Trent were bombarded with congratulations before everyone joined the lines for food. Trent took Addy away with him to the front of the house under the shade of a tree and kissed her until they were both too full of love to continue.

  “We’d better go join the group,” she said, leaning against him.

  “Soon.” He kissed her one more time. “I have another surprise for you. It’s taken some doing, but . . .” He glanced down at her feet. “You may want to slip those on.” He nodded to the pair of boots his mother left for him by the back door.

  “Trent?” She narrowed her eyes at him.

  “Trust me.” He smiled. “You’ll like this. But we have to be a family before . . . so while you put those on, I’m grabbing Happy. Back in a second.”

  Addy sat down on the folding chair and slipped off her heels and replaced them with the boots.

  When Trent came back, he’d removed his tux jacket and held Happy in his arms. The puppy was so excited to see her that he almost wiggled out of Trent’s arms.

  “What’s this all about?” she asked as they walked to the barn. “Slow down, I’m in a dress.”

  “I know, but . . . it’s kind of part of the whole thing.”

  “What? The proposal?” she said, trying to keep up with him.

  “Yeah,” he said over his shoulder.

  “Trent.” She came to a complete stop when her gaze fell on his next surprise.

  “Do you like her?” Trent asked, setting Happy down to run and play with the most beautiful, stark-white horse Addy had ever seen.

  Drawn by the horse’s grace, Addy took a step forward, then another until she came up against the fence. The horse spotted her and threw her head up in a greeting. Addy laughed and held out her hand like Trent had taught her.

  The horse, ignoring Happy now, approached her. She sniffed Addy’s hand for a moment, then nudged it and forced Addy to pet her. Addy laughed again and rubbed her mane.

  “She’s gorgeous.” Addy looked back at Trent. “She’s mine?” When he nodded, she leaned in and threw her arms around the horse.

  “What are you going to name her?” Trent asked, standing beside her. Addy looked at Happy, running around the horse’s hooves, and remembered his family’s tradition. Then, without even a hint of a smile on her lips, said, “Blackie, clearly.”

  Trent laughed and shook his head. “Really?”

  “I think Snow is better suited.” She broke into a grin. “What about you? Don’t you need a horse to ride along?”

  “Watch out there. If all goes right . . .” He held up his fingers in his mouth and whistled. Nothing happened. “Okay, let’s try it again.” He did it again, this time louder.

  Then she saw a speck of black through the trees, and suddenly a handsome black stallion was rushing toward the fence line.

  “I’ve been working with him for a few days at Bob’s place,” Trent said. “He delivered him and Snow early this morning.”

  “Let me guess—Prince?” she asked, nodding at the stallion.

  “Actually I was thinking of Charming.” He grinned.

  “He’s perfect for Snow,” she said.

  “You’re perfect for me.” He kissed her.

  As they returned Happy to his kennel in Gail’s bathroom, Addy pulled off her boots and slipped on her heels once more.

  “I’m starving,” she said when they finally got in line for the food.

  “Did you like your present?” Trisha asked as she joined them in the food line.

  “She’s perfect,” Addy said. “Have you seen her?”

  “I walked down this morning and helped unload her.” She winked. “We’ll keep them both here until Trent can get his barn built.”

  “I can’t wait to ride her.”

  “I helped Trent pick her out,” Gail said, joining them. “I test-rode her myself. She’s gentle, just like Grace.”

  “I named her Snow,” Addy supplied.

  “Of course you did,” Gail said. “Trent already named Charming before he’d even agreed to purchase him.”

  Addy looked over at Trent, who just shrugged. “You just know when it’s right.”

  By the time they sat down to eat, her heart was almost bursting with love. His family was so gracious. They had all admitted in one way or another that they knew he was going to propose to her, making her wonder if they had taken a family vote on it or if he’d just told them ahead of time.

  Either way, they had proven to her that they were a group that she wanted and would be proud to call her own family.

  “I need to go talk to my mother,” she told Trent. She didn’t want her to ruin her perfect evening, but she knew there were some things she had to say.

  “Want me to come with you?” he asked.

  “No, I think this is something I have to do on my own.” She stood up and squeezed his shoulder, then made her way through the crowd toward her mother.

  “Do you have a moment?” she asked, nodding toward the back deck.

  Her mother stood up and followed her to a more private place.

  Instead of stopping at the base of the stairs, she climbed them and stood to overlook the large, open field. She could just make out their small trailer across the way.

  Her mother stopped next to her. She’d worn one of her flowered skirts with a cream blouse. An outfit Addy had seen her wear a dozen or more times to church. It was one of her favorite colors on her mother.

  “You look wonderful today,” Addy started.

  “Thank you.” Her mother glanced down. “Your father always liked . . .” Her voice dropped off. “It doesn’t matter.”

  “No, go on.”

  “I don’t know if you’ll believe me or not, but I loved your father very much.”

  Addy knew that if she didn’t put everything on the table now, it would eat at her and build into something she wouldn’t be able to control later. Trisha’s praise in a tough moment lingered in her ear.

  “It
’s hard to believe that from what I witnessed,” Addy said truthfully.

  “I understand.” Her mother watched the field. “They’re a nice family.” She looked over to where the party was still going on. Kristen and Tyler were currently cutting the cake.

  “Yes, they are. I’m very lucky.”

  “I know I didn’t always show you . . . I’m working on changing things. When your father . . . I . . .” Addy saw tears slide down her mother’s face. She’d never seen her mother cry before, except when she got Ralphie.

  “Mom?” Addy stepped closer.

  “No.” Her mother shook her head. “I didn’t mean . . .” She took a handkerchief out of her purse and wiped her eyes. “I never cry.”

  “Maybe that is part of the problem?” Addy suggested. “Showing emotions doesn’t make you weak. It makes you human like the rest of us.”

  “I’m stronger than that.”

  She watched her mother’s shoulders straighten. She knew that move so well; she’d seen it every time her mother would get upset. Addy moved closer and laid her hands on her shoulders. “Mom? You don’t always have to be strong.”

  “Yes, I do.” She laughed bitterly. “I was taught that tears were a weakness. My father never . . .” Her mother trailed off, and suddenly more tears flooded from her eyes. “It’s all his fault.” She sniffled.

  “Who? Dad’s?” Addy asked. Her mother nodded, then shook her head quickly.

  “Yes—no, my father’s. He . . . he used to . . .” Her mother closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “Did you know that my father was one-quarter Cheyenne?”

  Addy felt a little shocked at her mother’s reveal. “No, I never knew. You never talked about your parents.”

  “I never talked about them because your father rescued me from them.” She sagged against the post. “I grew up on the reservation in a shack. I met your father when we came into town one day for groceries. He was so strong and handsome.” She sighed. “He helped me load all my firewood, then took me into the shop and bought me a sandwich. No one had shown any interest in me before him.”

  Addy shook her head. “Why did you always tell everyone that you came from oil money?”